Publication Day with Unlikely Cast of Characters
April 21st, 2008 by Rose Rosetree
Let’s dedicate today’s blog post to an unlikely cast of characters, the people in your life who are about as perceptive as a fence post. The first person who comes to mind could be an annoying co-worker, a gossipy neighbor, or a relative who never once, in the past decade, has expressed the tiniest curiosity about you and your life.
Give such people what they deserve! Give them a copy of Read People Deeper. It is officially published today, April 21, 2008.They won’t know what hit them because, notice, the book doesn’t have a title like:“Spiritual Reading for Those Who Know Everything”
- “Intuitive Reading for Dummies”
- “Reading Faces When You’re Racially Prejudiced”
- “Aura Readings of People Who Could Teach You A Thing or Two” or
- “Energy Fields R Us”
The subtitle even contains a familiar term: Body Language + Face Reading + Auras. And a wacky thing about body language is that it can seem like the absolutely most outrageously out-there reach of learning about human beings (for those stuck to the surface) or, at the other extreme, a fabulously useful way of grounding (for empaths, as we’ll explore tomorrow).
Body Language is the Rorschach test of Deeper Perception.
SOCIAL OBLIGATIONS
Some of these perfect readers for Read People Deeper are supposed to get a present from you anyway, due to sheer social obligation:
- Yet another office party gift
- Houseguest present
- A birthday that must be acknowledged
- even, gulp!, an anniversary gift.
Instead of proffering that bottle of wine, you can hand over the slim volume (which, at $14.95 is comparable in price) and let the joke really begin. Chances are, that highly insensitive person actually prides himself on how well he can read everyone in his life.
Therefore, you can pull your tongue from your cheek long enough to say, “You already know so much about people, but I thought this book might have a few things you didn’t already know.”
PAINFUL TALES OF CONTENTMENT
Actually, people like this are one of the target groups for Read People Deeper. In case you’re wondering, you’re not alone in having to deal with people who are true beginners at Deeper Perception. One type of comment I invite here is your most outrageous story about lack of human curiosity/compassion/emotional illiteracy.
I’ll lead off with the prize of my collection, dating from my marriage to David Ramsay, Husband #2. We drove for hours to visit his sister Mary and her family. Mary hadn’t come to our wedding, sent a card, or otherwise acknowledged our marriage. But she did take the time to lay out a very presentable dinner, complete with a large roast chicken. It was picture perfect in a way that Betty Crocker would have admired greatly (provided that fictional Betty had ever existed).
David hadn’t seen anyone from Mary’s family in five years, and they had never met me before. During our two-hour visit, we learned all about their achievements and interests. After we left, David turned to me open mouthed. “Do you realize, they never asked one single question about either of us?”
Yes, Read People Deeper might have made such people smile. One more way to read nuances about what made them so very important!
INVISIBLE TRAINING WHEELS
Like a two-wheeler with training wheels, I constructed this how-to with body language for easy accessibility. You can go through all 50 categories in the book and focus on guess what?
On the other hand, might it be useful to use body language to read about your dinner guests? In retrospect, I chuckle at the idea of Mary’s closing the door after David and I left, opening her gift, and reading about categories like conformity, balanced give and take, hurt feelings and intimacy.
Take a look at the list of categories here, the 50 categories you learn to read in depth and detail from Read People Deeper. If you were at a formal dinner with an unlikely cast of characters with whom you’re doomed to interact for a couple of highly polite hours (or more), which do you wish they would learn to read about you?
Also during those gaping, and inevitable, silences, what would you really like to read about them? If you’re spiritually minded and motivated, you might spend some of that time praying or sincerely aiming to establish connection; you might do the lovely and practical exercise of affirming “I behold the Christ in you.” You could hold the space you wish to see in the world.
None of these strategies would hurt a bit. Afterwards you could walk away from the table feeling truly satisfied, even blessed.
Yet I believe that it isn’t enough to find an abstract, universal sweetness in people. Or to bestow spiritual gifts equally, no matter who is present. I’ve sat with people who put a bland smile on their faces and seem to be constantly reaching for the perfect affirmation or else they’re squinting into my eyes, looking for that tiny presence of Christ.
Praiseworthy struggles like these don’t honor the individual. Why not supplement them with a way to make the spiritual intent stickier? Find out “Who does this person be?” Read People Deeper can help you find distinctive gifts of each soul.
Don’t let annoying people in your life make you sick and tired. Or boringly benevolent. You can let people teach you about ways to be, as you practice your cumulative skill at reading people in depth and detail. Behold that, then bring on the universal sweetness. With that sequence, you’ll make it stick.



Oh goodness, Rose. I could list about 700 people I know like that (many of whom are right here in my family!). Stories starring my mom saying completely bizarre and inappropriate things would stun your audience completely. LOL How DID I get to be such a little empath??
I love that the book has sections so those who aren’t inclined to read it all the way through (or ANY book all the way through) can still glean wonderful ideas from the chunks that interest them. It is a great idea for a gift.
Omigosh, I second Lisa here, Rose. I have so many crazy stories that I don’t even know where I would begin.
Don’t we all know people who seem about as perceptive as fence post?
It was a real realization to me that I didn’t have to let these people deplete me or make me boringly benevolent. But it took me years to figure that out!
My most outrageous story? Probably being told by somebody without a shred of spiritual empathy that if I had a relationship with God my life would be this way and that way and that I would have certain things I do not. This was by somebody who has, to name a few things, three divorces, a job that is a one-way ticket to a heart attack, and weight problems.
Spiritual life and religion — surely that is one of the most fascinating reasons to read people deeper. There is such confusion about what is deep, what surfacey.
The best revenge, Ryan, other than laughter, must be reading the person’s third eye. Pick any databank!
Speaking of which, have any of you blog buddies read THE ROAR OF THE HUNTIDS? That’s my coming-of-age novel about empath empowerment, and there’s a lot of satire there about people like “The Righteous.” Ryan, there are actually other men who have read that novel. And I could have written it for people who know your “friend.”
You can preview the first chapter by clicking on the book cover at the home page on http://www.rose-rosetree.com .
Rose:
David’s astonishment that the two of you were never asked any questions about yourselves resonated with me. Cathy (my wife) and I often remark about how conversations at parties and other social events always go well — as long as we are askng questions about the other person/people.
People love to talk about themselves. Some people get so self absorbed that they never ask questions about anyone else. That’s what seemed to have happened at your Betty Crocker dinner.
In my new book, “Straight Talk for Success”, I point out that people who are good conversationalists balance the amount of talking and listening they do. Personally, I try to talk about 1/3 of the time and listen 2/3. I find that this approach as helped me become known as a good conversationalist.
Best of luck with the new book — it sounds as if it is a great read.
All the best,
Bud Bilanich
The Common Sense Guy
http://www.successcommonsense.com
Hi Bud and Rose,
I have actually had the opposite experience at med school - people who will reveal nothing about themselves, don’t talk about themselves at all, but want to know EVERYTHING about you.
It doesn’t make you feel listened to, it makes you feel creepy. Like they are just trying extract information out of you or get what they want from you. Some of them even do it in the name of “professional detachment” and call it “healthy interest in you.”
I’m suspicious when someone tells me they just want to listen to me and want me to do all the talking.
ANITA, that is hilarious. It’s scary enough if they’re planning to be psychiatrists. But what if they plan to become gynecologists, anethesiologists, blackmailers… the mind reels.
I have three stories of relatives. (I’m fairly confident they don’t read this blog, despite the Rose Rosetree book collection sitting in my room.)
The first is the kind of person like Rose’s relatives in her story. This relative usually talks incessantly on the phone, then says “I don’t have much to talk about.” By the time she asks me about my life, I am exhausted from listening and I make short replies, not that she was looking for extended answers.
The second person is like Anita’s colleagues at med school. This relative asks me repeated, often inappropriate questions with a voice loaded with condescension. I try to be polite and ask her about her life, to which she replies, “Oh, nothing exciting has happened” or “the past is behind me.”
Finally, once I was visiting two relatives who I only see about once a year and don’t talk to much on the phone. Immediately when we sat down together, they looked at each other funny and then one said, “Oh I’ll just ask it.” He turned to me: “We don’t want to be rude or anything, but we are just concerned that you do not have an equal give and take relationship with your boyfriend.”
I so wish I had said, “I don’t have the kind of relationship with you for you to ask that question,” or maybe I could in turn have asked about the give and take in their relationship.
Instead I stupidly said, “Well, I can see why you might think that…” And I proceeded to try to make the now horribly awkward situation less awkward for THEM. Oh hindsight…
Sorry, one more story. This seems to be therapeutic for me. Two of my “best friends” in high school during senior year once casually said, “Um, we’ve known you for like 12 years, but we don’t really know you. Tell us about yourself.” Then they looked at me with their blank Barbie looks. Naively, I tried to explain myself to them. I started out with my passions in life, but it turns out that they just really wanted to know who my “dream guy” was. Blond hair? Black hair? Blue eyes?
I thought something must be wrong with me. I didn’t realize it wasn’t my fault that they were “as perceptive as fence posts.” I could have been “friends” with them for another agonizing 100 years and they might have always thought of me as just “shy.”
Rose, Congratulations on another book. You are an inspiration to all us would-be writers. Namaste. Lori
THANKS, BUD and LORI and DANA and LISA.
Dana, this isn’t just therapeutic. It’s really funny.
Hi Dana,
Your stories were TERRIFIC! And yes, if it makes you feel any better, I often think of my best “punch lines” or “comebacks” in hindsight… Or I wonder why I am divulging inappropriate details about myself in response to inappropriate questions from inappropriate people to make THEM feel better and to decrease the awkwardness for them, rather than just finding a kind but diplomatic way of not answering or deflecting the fishing…
I so wish I had done lots of things better.
Wow, it was actually really therapeutic for me to read your stories. Thanks so much for sharing those.
Thanks, Rose and Anita!
I didn’t think that I had any stories until a little voice said, “Oh, wait a minute…” It’s so nice to share stories with people who get it instead of other unperceptive people who might brush them off with, “Well, so-and-so means well” or “so-and-so is actually a nice person” or “Just suck it up. I do. You have to put in your time.” Blah.
Hi Dana,
Here’s another one: “So-and-so is just having a bad day” (and you’re thinking to yourself “So-and-so seems to have a bad day, every day”).