Do People Get the Healing They Deserve?
April 28th, 2008 by Rose Rosetree
Lurkers, clients, and emailers have been giving me the equivalent of GUEST POSTS recently about cutting cords of attachment, that new kid on the block of aura readings. Today I’d like to address the funniest kind of problem encountered yet.
Clients have been coming to me because, in an intuitive reading, they were told, “You need to cut all your cords.” Cut them all? And do this how fast? This is supposed to be a race now?
A prospective client, “Daniel,” had this dialogue with Mitch, who makes my appointments. Here I’m reconstructing, based on what Mitch told me:
DANIEL: I need to make an appointment with Rose. I need her to cut all my cords.
MITCH: Why are you interested in doing that?
DANIEL: Well, I just had an intuitive reading. The psychic said that my cords aren’t good for me. I should get rid of all of them.
MITCH: Rose will usually cut a maximum of one cord of attachment in one of her phone sessions of Aura Transformation. They last 55 minutes.
If you want to make one of these appointments, you might think about how you want your life to improve. Where are the problems? What would you like to change?
Maybe you’re interested in help with how you communicate with others, or solving problems with work relationships. In which part of your life, specifically, would you like help?
DANIEL: Oh, everything about my life is fine. Really! I just want to cut cords because the psychic said that I needed to.
Sometimes people just feel the need to cut a cord to a particular person. And that would be a fine reason to schedule a session as well.
However, it became clear that Daniel had nobody special in mind, other than himself. He was just aiming to please his psychic or, perhaps, to do a fashionable new kind of healing. Mitch wouldn’t give him an appointment but talked him out of the idea instead.
THE BIG HURRY
As part of our occasional glimpses at cutting cords in American society at this time, have you noticed people who think that the whole point is to “Get them all out”?
The idea here seems to be that cords of attachment are a newly discovered form of nuisance, like wasps. So the goal should be to just get rid of them, pronto. Maybe your local rat-and-roach removal company should consider taking on this kind of business!
Okay, I’m going to dare to say it: Even if it were possible to do the extermination version of cutting cords of attachment, this would be worse than a waste of time. Cords contain valuable information. Each removal is a sacred opportunity for healing.
One reason I wrote Cut Cords of Attachment was to help people new to the process to understand it, becoming wiser consumers. There are many talented, trained practitioners out there. Understanding the basics will help you find them.
Have you ever had healing of any kind where, when you think back on it, the process was sacred? Shorter is better than longer, for sure. But in many situations, not just the one with Daniel, I’m finding a cry for complete healing that will be instant, “easy to do because it is just on the level of auras.” There is no regard for genuine healing.
Know anyone who demands that? What benefits have you witnessed, following these stories? Energy Spirituality is my name for the very 21st century healing that happens on the level of auras. Results CAN be huge. Or they can be altogether lacking, or anything in between. Healing with the aura as the point of entry — that’s all you know for sure is involved in Energy Spirituality.
Now here’s an even bigger, related question: With any form of healing, do people get the amount of healing they deserve? Comment here with what you think.
Well, what if you get more healing than you deserve? Or more than you want or bargained for? In my experience, the healing work I’ve done/had done was very challenging. Learning something new, letting go of something old, on an energetic or soul level … these can mean disorientation, temporary chaos, feeling bereft. There can be exhilaration, too, of course, and opportunity. But I think real change and growth simply do involve work.
ANGELA, you’re so right in what you wrote. Growth can be inconvenient.
But would you choose differently, had you known you were in for a bit of inconvenience?
I have had days of healing, weeks and months of healing, at different times of my life. At 28, I probably “lost” an entire year to healing. (Astrologers would call it my big Saturn transit.)
But I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Isn’t evolution one of the most important reasons to be here at Earth School?
On the other hand, I feel equal passion around demanding healing practioners really have skill and do what they claim. As previous conversations at this blog has shown, this is politically incorrect in New Age culture, where any healing is supposed to be perfect, regardless of skill or effectiveness.
Take Regression Therapy as an example. Many, many of my clients have told me stories of ineffective healing they had with previous therapists, with long and painful recoveries or little change at all.
I’m grateful to my mentor for Energy Release Regression Therapy, Dr. Coletta Long. I certainly have more skill now as a regression therapist than I did for previous years, where my training wasn’t nearly as good and my skill set was, by comparison, incomplete.
Discernment is needed by healers and patients alike, just to avoid the kind of problem you eloquently described.
Another perspective to consider…
The image that pops up for me — and that I wanted to share — is that energetic healing can be like physical healing.
Here’s the visual: When I pour hydrogen perioxide on a cut or a wound, sometimes there can be a lot of FIZZING. I remind myself that the purpose is to cleanse the area so that the wound can and will heal without infection!
Is this applicable to energy healing as well?!
I believe so, yes.
And in my experiences, this is a perfect description of my healing sessions with Rose.
I give myself permission to into it. I prepare –with heightedned awareness and focused attention–to go into the fizz and to feel the fizz.
It’s part of the healing process. And it’s OK.
The positive shifts I have experienced has been remarkable!
I’m really puzzled by what “deserve” means.
In the example you cite, it sounds like Daniel is not taking any responsibility for his healing. You rightly observe that he wants to please his psychic.
In my experience, real and responsible healers ensure that clients understand that THEY are responsible and in control of the healing—something you’ve made clear when we’ve worked together. A healer can provide information that they receive, or be conduit for information/energy. The meaning, interpretation, and response are up to the client.
Does a client get the healing he/she deserves? I’ve gotten healing even from less than stellar healers because I listen to what they say and make discernments about it. Many healers are ego-invested EVEN when they are gifted about receiving information. I just put “filters” on so I can get the info and not buy into their ego-needs.
Thanks goodness you have Mitch to help educate folks!!! Whether I’m coaching or facilitating Healing Touch I always ask clients to describe how their life will be different or what will have happened after we’ve completed our work together.
Aw, BETH, thank you.
SHARON, what an astute set of observations. One motivator for me, doing this blog, is helping to raise consciousness about healing as co-creation.
Allopathic medicine (not to mention other influences) has trained us to expect the healer to do it all. At most, you must stick out your tongue and say “Ah.”
We can only grow as much as we are willing to grow. Then we need to use discernment in finding a healer who can help. Apart from putting aside the healer’s ego-needs ;-), some healers just don’t have the kind of skill required, and only the “consumer” is in a position to know, really.
Clarity about expectations is needed even more when we embark on healing.
Okay, here is a great example about expectations that was emailed to me yesterday. It is good that my anonymous client asked, obviously. Still, what is wrong with this picture?
“Here are the topics I would like to work on:
* identifying major cords of attachment
* releasing one of the currently most problematic cords
* addressing issues found in the personnel profile, e.g. old entrenched emotions, resignation/isolation, cycle of workoholism/procrastination, lack of groundedness.
* soul feedback regarding a planned name change & relocation”
The client wanted me to tell her how much of this could be covered in ONE session.
With ref to comment 7 – Can I put my name down for that session it’s exactly what I’m looking for - all except the name change kinda happy with “Brian.”
Perhaps a matter of opinion as to deserve – Since every hair on one’s is counted, we have attracted/ choose things/ healers into our life by hundreds of factors - time, money, availability, past choices, karmic stuff. Sometimes we choose poorly, sometimes we choose greatly. In my own case there are things that in the short term were not that great but over the medium term provided immense value.
There is no experiential understanding as yet but it is written that there is a point where everything is perfect. So maybe from that perspective everything is as it is but until that day – possibly Saturday morning just after breakfast.
In the name of fairness, with so many healers out there, clients have no idea what healers actually can do and provide. This is a highly unregulated and yet extremely lucrative market, since insurance often does not cover these services.
I understand the frustration of alternative healers. But I also understand the position of clients and where they are coming from, too. And I do have compassion for both sides.
To be honest, Rose, in comment #7, I’m not sure what I see what is wrong with the picture. We both know that you can’t cover all of that in one session, but the client may not know that, in all fairness.
With the way mainstream media runs, a lot of people have gotten ideas that, in reality, may be unrealistic. Especially because the media tends to highlight the extremes - the super-successful, the super-beautiful, or the super-rich. Or the opposite, the super-heavy (”Biggest Loser”), the super-poor, the super-uneducated (Jay Leno has a segment where he does this, stopping people on the street and talking to them).
The reality is that most of are somewhere in between.
Since the mainstream consciousness doesn’t know what alternative healing is - and what with so many different modalities of alternative healers and so many unskilled and uncredentialed people jumping on this very lucrative bandwagon - what’s a hapless client to do? Everywhere one turns, there are incredible promises being made. So how can a client who has never heard of an aura, much less read one, use discernment? Aside from perhaps intuition, if a client even believed in that and trusted it (which many don’t)?
I have respect for people and especially for potential clients. In educating them and raising consciousness, I’m in no way trying to mock them or make them feel bad about what they don’t know.
Frankly, I don’t know anything about cars. If an auto mechanic promised me something, I would tend to trust it. That partly makes me naive, but it also makes me innocent instead of cynical and jaded.
Even if that clients requests were unrealistic, it seemed optimistic, idealistic. There was trust there in putting all of those requests out. When we tell clients not to hold back and to let it all out, then criticize them after they do that, what are they supposed to think and believe?
I thought about this a little bit more and what might be driving clients to have such high expectations.
I always think a good discussion about expectations is important.
I think we live in a world of instant gratification…
I mentor two students at my university. I know that I have been extremely surprised to find that they believe that being a good advisor means that I am available 24/7, at their beck and call, and am willing to drop everything I am doing, at a moment’s notice, in order to meet them and serve their every need. I’m exaggerating a little bit, but not by much.
Meanwhile, they are extremely difficult to reach themselves and respond to their phone calls and e-mails at their whims, which is usually determined by their passing moods and how busy they are with their school work.
I used to be quite offended, but once I got past this, it actually became a very interesting sociological question for me - Why do so many young people (and even grown adults) I encounter today have this entitled mentality? Granted, my two students are barely out of adolescence and all of a sudden thrown into overnight independence at a very competitive Ivy League school.
Still, I don’t remember being like this myself when I was an undergraduate. Then again, I have also never had cable television and didn’t even own a cell phone until quite recently. Whenever I wanted something, my parents reminded me that I had a pair of hands and a set of legs to work with. I’m only half-joking about that.
So… I had to educate my students and have a discussion with them about their expectations and what I felt I could realistically be able to help them with as an advisor. I wasn’t available to take them grocery shopping every week, for example. I needed more than a day to write a letter of recommendation. I needed at least 24 hours notice if they wanted to schedule a time to meet with me. If they needed to reach me, e-mail was the best way. Being their advisor didn’t guarantee that they would get an “A” in every class, as I couldn’t provide that kind of academic help.
I could get mad and tell them that the advising program should have made these expectations clear and then say some unsavory things to them and to the advising office.
But what would be the point of hurting so many people’s feelings?
I think by being direct and honest about what I could provide and what I couldn’t provide, it was helpful for my students - it would mitigate their disappointment in expectations they had from me that might be unrealistic or it would free them to find an advisor who could or was willing to meet their expectations.
BRIAN, your dry sense of humor just hilarifies me. Thanks so much for writing.
ANITA, Thanks for both your thoughtful and wise comments. First, regarding Comment #9, there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking what can be done in a session. I’m delighted when people do, and I didn’t mean to horrify with my response.
Educating people is a huge part of what I do, hmm, I offer a bit of this, as in:
*What, five hours?, of free reading background and other self-help material at my website, http://www.rose-rosetree.com.
* There is this blog.
* There are actual classes I teach and, of course, books with (I hope) information.
But just to educate, let’s think about the previous list. I suppose that Mme. X, as an innocent and not-jaded client, is trying to cram as much healing as possible into her session. From Rose in the role of “auto mechanic,” here is an estimate of the time involved in actually facilitating the kinds of healing requested in the newbie client’s wishlist:
1. Identifying “all my” major cords of attachment — What would be the point of this? Unless you can point out something I haven’t considered here, this is probably a complete waste of time. Better to move out one cord of attachment at a time and stop when done, gathering results all along. If someone thinks of two or three possibilities, I can compare the amount of intensity in the cords and choose one to facilitate cutting. Once the list gets larger than three, we’re taking more time to prepare than to heal.
2. Releasing one of the currently most problematic cords — Hooray, there is a realistic expectation for one healing-packed session!
3. Addressing issues found in the personnel profile, e.g. old entrenched emotions, resignation/isolation, cycle of workoholism/procrastination, lack of groundedness.
– A series of Aura Transformation sessions or Regression Therapy sessions, one at a time, and moving forward at the client’s pace. Wild estimate, assuming this client is prepared to grow really fast: At least 25 sessions. Because read, really read, that enormous list.
4. Soul feedback regarding a planned name change & relocation” — That would fit nicely into a session, along with discussing some gifts of the soul.
ANITA, regarding pithy COMMENT #10, aside from laughing my head off — you make a good point.
You may know that Mitch, who schedules my appointments, works here full time. Although sometimes he does elegant things, like formatting and sending the monthly zine, most of his time is spent responding to emails and phone calls, mostly from people like this new client.
Educating people, one on one, IS important, especially in an emerging field. When especially good questions come in, I do like to blog about them. And I do have threads like this one on purpose, just to attract questions and comments.
It is, however, desperately saddening that you cannot guarantee perfect grades to those you mentor.
Hi Rose,
Of course I completely agree. And do understand the frustration and very hard work and time it takes to educate people and clients.
That said, I guess one way we can all sublimate our frustration is through humor!
Humor… and perfect grades, Anita.
Total Mind and Body Fitness Blog Carnival 49…
Monday is Blog Carnivals Day. A Blog Carnival is basically a collection of articles or blog posts, all relating to a similar subject, that are gathered together for your viewing pleasure. You can quickly and conveniently see a list of Article Titles a…
I do want to thank you, FitBuff, for the chance to post this article at your carnival. It’s at
http://www.fitbuff.com/total-mind-and-body-fitness-blog-carnival-49