Dangerous Advice for an Empath
October 9th, 2008 by Rose Rosetree
Recently, I came across two very different empaths.
EMPATH #1, “Fran” had me read her aura, and it was a delight. Besides being well trained as a healer, she clearly had strong skills as an empath.
Her empath circuits were strong and wonderfully unencumbered by other people’s stuff. Moreover, Fran’s aura showed clearly that she had learned how to keep her empath gifts OFF most of the time, turning them on only when desired and doing this in ways that kept her safe.
EMPATH #2, Freya, gives empaths advice at her blog. I applaud her intent to help people get in control of their abilities. “It’s not always an easy process, but it is an achievable one, provided you make the effort.”
Then Freya goes on to advise empaths to project their emotions outward in order to change other people:
“Feel free to use [your emotions] to help others heal on an emotional level. If they’re angry, send them love. If they’re panicked, send them love. If they’re scared, send them love. I know that sounds corny, but that’s what you’re doing when you project calming energy for the sake of helping someone.
“People who are angry or panicked are imbalanced (for that moment, at least) and your projection of the opposite emotion can really help to stabilize them. You needn’t do anything special, simple feel the emotion in your heart chakra and will it out of your body and over to them — you do this without thinking all day long, so don’t worry; you can do it whenever you set your mind to it.”
“EMPATH” DOES NOT MEAN “EMOTIONAL”
I do not (NOT!!!) advocate following this advice. But I do find it well worth discussing here because it brings up some important ideas for empaths who wish to become skilled empaths, not merely talented empaths.
Must you be an empath in order to be able to send your emotions out strongly toward other people? Of course not.
Everyone can project emotions… or try to coerce other people “for their own good.” By comparsion, only 1 in 20 people was born as an empath.
Freya is not the only writer in the field of empath empowerment who confuses being emotionally intense with being an empath. Karla McLaren has published a CD that has influenced a lot of empaths: “Becoming an Empath.”
There she defines being an empath in purely emotional terms. In fact, one of her recommendations is that every empath should find support from others because, being an empath, you’ll need it.
Right! You’ll need support if you follow this method because you won’t, alas, develop skill as an empath. Karla is an appealing writer who can offer help of the misery-loves-company variety.
Years after “Becoming an Empath,” she has publicly renounced her work, but the publisher still sells her CD. Like Elvis still being in the building, right?
As an alert empath, straight from the title “Becoming an Empath,” you may recognize a problem. A person can’t “become” an empath. Yes, you can learn Emotional Intelligence or manners or tweak your social boundaries. But either you are born as an empath or else you’re not.
If you are born as an empath, it shows in your aura right from babyhood (actually, right from the time you are in the womb). Any skilled aura reader can find it, along with other gifts of your soul.
But you qualify as an empath if you have ANY gift to directly experience what it is like to be someone else. Your gift could be physical, intellectual, spiritual, environmental, plant, animal, crystal, mechanical, even molecular, not necessarily emotional at all.
WHAT BEING AN EMPATH DOES NOT MEAN
Emotional problems. Anyone can have them. Sometimes they’re short-term problems and sometimes long-term. But having emotional problems does not mean a person is an empath.
Many of the conversations you’ll find online, googling on “empath,” concern either emotional problems or teenage angst. Sometimes born empaths write about how they suffer or, as Freya correctly reports, they feel it is is “a curse” to be an empath.
How can you tell if you are an empath or, to be blunt, you’re really dealing with emotional problems instead? I’d recommend that you get a copy of Empowered by Empathy and find out if you can relate to the gifts and experiences described there, right from the first page where I write about being “Malled.”
If the techniques that follow in that book help you, there’s a clue that many of your long-term problems have not been a curse at all! An empath doesn’t have a disability but a talent. Very likely your past suffering has been due to your being merely a talented empath, but not yet a skilled empath.
If the techniques help you a bit, but you’re still suffering, you might benefit from emotional and spiritual healing. This will supplement your growing skills as an empath. Some options that I offer for healing are in the LINKS section below, but they’re hardly the only resources around. Your job is to decide what speaks to your needs and follow up accordingly.
PLEASE DO NOT ADD TO THIS PROBLEM
Back at Freya’s projection technique, I’m concerned that she’s furthering the popular misunderstanding that confuses being an empath with having emotional problems. (Wouldn’t anyone who is troubled prefer to tell herself or himself, “This is happening because I am talented as an empath”?)
But what really distressed me — enough for me to write this blog post — is the advice that Freya advocates about pushing your emotions on others for their own good.
There is a technical name for what she advocates. It is not “empath.” It is “psychic coercion” or even “psychic attack.”
“But all I’m doing is sending out love to calm people and fix their problems.”
Alas, projecting ANY emotion, wish, thought of yours into another person breaks a spiritual law.
Love can be contagious. Real love, however, cannot be forced or inflicted upon others.
You may know that, besides training empaths, I facilitate sessions of emotional and spiritual healing. Just last week I did a session for an extremely well-trained and talented energy worker. Her training had not included knowledge of psychic coercion and we removed, literally, truckloads of it from her aura.
Never, ever presume to inflict your values or choices to over-ride another person’s free will. And certainly, don’t use the word “empath” to justify psychic coercion.
READY FOR A LAUGH?
One very talented empath, Brenda, has had a number of sessions with me. Partly, she has gone for coaching to become a skilled empath and partly Brenda has asked me to help her cut a number of (rather vile) cords of attachment.
One of these was to a stalker, “Buddy.” Currently in jail, Buddy had taken a shine to Brenda and thought of her has the love of his life.
Buddy was so crazy, he even requested a conjugal visit. Imagine Brenda picking up the phone and being asked if she was ready to schedule a love-in with a man she had never even dated. Well, this really happened.
Brenda declined. Brenda objected. The prison official who called to arrange this love tryst was, evidently, a person of great — if misplaced – compassion. Disappointed that Brenda refused to come, she said:
“Buddy wanted me to tell you, he just wants to hold you and love you like a puppy.”
Love — sometimes it is the answer. Sometimes, frankly, it’s not.
LINKS
Develop skills as an empath with this simple, inexpensive tutoring session between pages, Empowered by Empathy. In America or Canada, you can order it 24/7 with a toll-free number: 800-345-6665. Or use this magic empath button to order online. (Just teasing about that name. It’s regular old ordering, with money, that helps to keep me blogging and, otherwise, doing this wonderful work.)
If you prefer audiobooks, you’re in luck with the audio edition of Empowered by Empathy. And you can hear a free sample by scrolling down the page to which this link takes you.
Sometimes an empath-in-training will prefer personal mentoring. This can be done over the phone or in person. Empath Empowerment is a skill set, not just a wish. It takes some learning, and the great thing about study of this kind is that you just get one session at a time. One session might do it for you, or maybe you might need several, but either way you will only commit to the time and cost that is appropriate for you. These sessions are still $125 for 55 minutes. To set one in motion, start by ordering a personal session here.
Try one of these sessions also if you’re not sure you’re an empath.
As an empath, or simply a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), or if you worry that you are under psychic attack, you may find a great deal of relief by doing a personal session of Aura Transformation. This will involve healing with Energy Spirituality, probably including my cutting a cord of attachment.
Another way to free you up as an empath is Regression Therapy. My specialty in this field is Energy Release Regression Therapy, which is done in person here in metro D.C. (Sterling, Virginia, to be precise). If you are having trouble developing skill as an empath — or suffer from other problems described in detail here — this method of healing could be just what you’ve been seeking.
Loads of free FAQs at my website can help you to learn more about:
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Sessions of Regression Therapy
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Becoming a skilled empath
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and many of the other topics involved in Deeper Perception Made Practical
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Rose, applause, applause.
I agree wholehaertedly to your comments about the violation of personal space being committed on others’ personal emotions.
A spiritual invasion of their aura is so horrific that it makes me shudder to think why anyone would do that without permission. It’s a do-gooder attitude based on the assumption that she knows what is good for someone else and is willing to intercede based on her idea of what’s right.
Most responses to anything are to show us what we think or feel about any issue, and should be examined by ourselves first to see what it is that we are reacting to and if we still believe in that idea or concept.
Frequently it is a mirror showing us that we have an attitude or situation that is causing us a problem, and we should examine our reasons for holding on to our viewpoint.
Your website gives us a chance to do just that. IF we are open to other ideas, viewpoints and suggestions, we can work on our own impresions of truth at our current level of understanding and improve our own enjoyment of our lives.
Letting go and let it be are still good principles to keep in mind.
Thanks for this page. I’m relieved to discover you agree with the sanctity of personal space.
It’s the same for people who say, “I will pray for you” How do they know what’s good for me???
Even if they are just praying for my comfort or happinesss, I may need the disturbance that makes me learn another way of seeing it. It’s not their decision to make.
I don’t know yet if I’m an empath or intuitive or what so I haven’t bought anyhting on my limited Soc security income.
I actually first FELT this kind of intrusional attitude when I was in the US, it felt pretty uncomfortable for somebody who isn’t used to get that kind of too much of attention and who is an empath. Yes, empaths can feel it if somebody starts plucking around in their auras even if it is only mentally.
Perceptive comment there, ANONYMOUS. Psychic coercion is done a great deal in America, especially through religous organizations.
Beware toxic prayer, where people sit together — perhaps with very good intentions but lack of knowledge of spiritual law — “praying” for people to accept their version of God or religion, “praying” for people to change their God-given sexual orientation, “praying” for people to stop thinking and start agreeing with them.
If you have anyone praying for you, I would recommend that you ask exactly what this person is doing. Anything other than sending love or light — no strings attached — is probably a coercive prayer.
In that case, I recommend you find the most polite way possible to say, “If you care about me, honor my request and stop praying for me.”
For a more in-depth way of protecting yourself against psychic coercion, you might want to learn the skill set for removing psychic coercion debris from your aura. I can teach this to you in one personal session (55 minutes).
You would set this up as an Aura Transformation session, then meet with me by appointment by phone. To do this, you’d begin with this link: http://www.rose-rosetree.com/orderfa.htm
Doing this form of healing can be life-changing. You can use the skill set for keeping your aura clear of this type of astral debris (a.k.a. STUFF) and also facilitate healing for your family members, friends, healing clients, etc.
Although, of course, you would ask permission first!
Rose thank you for clairfying that. I have told people not to pray for me for those very same reasons. Your voice carried more weight.
It has to be the height of ego or self-love that would lead someone to think they know what is good for me or you or anyone, since most don’t really know what’s best for themselves. They frequently make bad choices for themselves but feel qualified to make choices for me. A huge invasion of privacy.
They feel to pray for the Jews to recive communion or Muslims to discover Jesus, ignore the Buddhist presence and complain if the Maharaji followers approach them in their white robes or other garments.
It’s the same thing in Colorado when the Rainbow followers come to summer camp in the ‘Rockies and they take a tiny teddy bear and clip it to you somewhere on your body without asking first. It’s cute. So most people accept it, not realizing why it’s being done.
Rose, are you able to venture a suggestion as to what percentage of Americans experience psychic coercion? Does it occur in one part of the country more than others?
I wonder why most explanations of “free will” do not include a discussion of toxic prayer or psychic coercion.
LISA, besides being an interesting question, it’s the easiest anyone at the blog has asked me.
100% of people worldwide are sent psychic coercion. In America, the amount of coercion is especially strong if you live outside mainstream values in any way.
I think that the aspect of psychic coercion is overlooked mostly because the effects of it show in auras primarily. Otherwise, it’s hard to distinguish the misery caused by coercion with other problems like trying to find one’s identity, gain more self-confidence, overcome addictions, etc.
Although everyone receives this coercion, everyone does not have to be a victim to it. You can learn to remove it, neutralize any contributing vulnerability patterns, and keep your aura clear in that way.
One thing everyone reading this can take immediately from this conversation is to avoid using the word SHOULD and become very clear about not telling anyone else how to live or think etc.
The way I see it, one has the right to voice an opinion or give advice to a person exactly once, to that person’s face, as directly and politely as possible. Beyond that, one has zero right to talk about, gossip about, or “pray” about how another should live.
The exception is if one is raising a child up to the age of 18. Even then, it’s vital to draw a line between what is legitimate as a should (e.g., “Finish high school”) vs. a personal whim which one has no right to insist upon (e.g., “You should wear your hair in my favorite style.”
Rose,
Thank you for this. This is a wonderful and very useful blog.
Joyce, I have come across the same sort of imperialistic attitude from people here because I am far from main stream. I refuse to classify myself as any political party or religion. You won’t believe how many times I get approached just jogging in my neighborhood and asked if I’m saved and get invitations to church. When I say, well thank you but that is not my faith, they continue with probing questions which I find very invasive. What I find even more hilarious, is that none of my Muslim , Buddhist, or other faith friends would do that to ANYBODY! Yet, these people that approach me would do what they can to denounce the faith of those that respect them. Of course, I have pushed back a couple of times and gotten the “Well, I’ll be praying for you…” something nice to say, but it is laced with venom.
Rose, your reference to the word “should” and psychic coercion is perfect.
How many of us use that word on occasion without considering whether we have the right to make a decision for someone else? Excellent guidance for us all.
Let’s consider the nature of the people who let us use that method of coercion on them. Do they come to us asking for help or guidance or just feedback to help them decide? Maybe just a fresh viewpoint?
Are they drawnn to the person whom they feel they can trust or is it that they sense that we would say “You ’should’ do it this way”?