For Empath Empowerment, Quiz Yourself
May 18th, 2009 by Rose Rosetree
Could I be an empath? That’s a first step in Empath Empowerment. Here’s a quiz I developed to help you, adapting a quiz for Highly Sensitive Persons developed by Dr. Elaine Aron.
Are you already a Skilled Empath? Then this quiz may serve to remind you of how far you’ve come.
Empath Empowerment isn’t something you can learn from any blog post or two. Could you learn to ride a bicycle that way?
I would especially recommend Become the Most Important Person in the Room, a how-to which has a detailed quiz that helps you to identify particular gifts as an empath.
Another resource is Empowered by Empathy, another how-to for empaths. It includes very detailed descriptions of different empath gifts. There’s also a “Skeptical Interlude” that will help you understand with more depth why many empaths do not know they’re empaths.
Still, the first step toward Empath Empowerment DOES involve figuring out if you’re an empath or not.
You can take Dr. Aron’s quiz for HSPs and, if you’re an empath, you’ll qualify. But being an HSP is very different from being an empath.
Dr. Aron estimates that about 1 in 5 Americans is a Highly Sensitive Person.
By contrast, 1 in 20 Americans has been born as an empath. The big difference is this:
- Being an HSP is about having a very refined nervous system.
- Being an empath is about being able to directly experience what it is like to be other people. That means vivid, intense, personal experience. But it need not be emotional, as you’ll appreciate by taking this quiz.
Add your reactions to this new quiz by writing a comment after you’ve taken the Empath Quiz!
For Empath Empowerment, Start with this Quiz
Answer YES or NO to each of the following questions.
1. I am easily overwhelmed by the suffering of other people.
2. I seem to be aware of subtleties in the feelings of other people.
3. I suffer when someone I am close to has one of the following: an emotional, physical, intellectual, or spiritual problem. (Any one cause of suffering would count; you don’t have to relate to all of them to answer YES.)
4. I assume that most people instinctively react to the problems of others as intensely as I do, only many people I know have better control over this than I do.
5. I find myself needing to withdraw after having had intense contact with other people so that I can restore my sense of self as separate.
6. Even after I withdraw from contact with other people, sometimes I cannot easily shake the memories or feelings from our being together.
7. I am easily overwhelmed by conflict between people, even when I am not personally involved.
8. I have a rich, complex inner life and assume that just about everyone else has the same.
9. I am made uncomfortable by mixed messages from others, e.g., When someone describes himself in one way yet I have a strong sense that something quite different is going on within him.
10. Sometimes I am deeply moved by the experiences of other people, even if I don’t know them personally.
11. Sometimes I feel so overloaded by the experiences of other people, I just would like to turn it all off!
12. Sometimes my own opinions, feelings, or needs seem to be drowned out by the intensity of what I find in others.
13. Sometimes I “medicate” myself with overeating, coffee, etc. so that I don’t feel pulled in so many directions by other people.
14. I can get rattled when I feel that another person dislikes me, even if nothing about this is said on the surface of a conversation.
15. I find that people often expect me to give to them, rather than their giving to me, and I don’t know why this happens so much.
16. Complete strangers choose ME to talk to. Sometimes I wonder if I have a sign in my aura that says, “Tell me your problems.”
17. I try hard to avoid putting other people ahead of myself, but my first impulse tends to be to fulfill what THEY need rather than what I need.
18. When I am driving, stopped at an intersection, and another car honks impatiently, it can be hard for me to wait until moving forward feels safe to me. There is such a pull from inside to do what the other driver wants.
19. I have always been extremely perceptive about other people, about either their emotions, their ideas, their preferences, their values, and/or how they physically feel.
20. Looking in the mirror, the person I see there does not seem to exactly be me. It is as if there is more to me than that simple reflection.
21. Do I feel that the main thing I am is my physical body? No way!
22. Secretly, I have wondered sometimes if I am crazy. Also score a YES if you worry: Could I be too sensitive? Or have weak boundaries? Or just too many ups and downs?
23. I can tell, moment by moment, when people I am close to react to an experience, such as a concert, TV show, etc.
24. I find it unpleasant to be with people who are very upset, physically or emotionally.
25. I often put other people first, not doing it on purpose but as a kind of instinct.
26. I can become unpleasantly aroused when someone around me has a lot of conflict or pain or fear going on. Even after saying goodbye, I can feel bad for quite a while.
27. When I try not to care about others, I feel guilty.
28. It has taken me a long time, growing up, to get a sense of myself as a person, knowing who I really am.
ANSWERS
If you have at least three YES answers, it’s likely that you were born as an empath. That simple!
Empath Empowerment skills are simple, too. They just take a bit of attention and intention to learn. Once you own them, you have them for life.
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“JEFF” writes:
I purchased your book Empowered by Empathy and I absolutely love it. Thanks so much for writing it.
I particularly enjoy your lifestyle advice on staying grounded and your techniques of Breaking out of the Amusement Park and Coming Home.
Anyways, from reading your book I realize that I do struggle with out of control empathy: emotional intuition and emotional oneness but your book has helped a lot with that.
I also struggle with ADHD. I take Adderall for the ADHD and it kills my empathy. I don’t feel malled and I don’t connect when I don’t want to, in fact I find it hard to connect even when I do want to.
I’m just sharing because I thought you might find it interesting, the possiblity of a connection between ADHD and Empathy. Well have a great day!
JEFF, first I want to comment on medicating yourself with Adderall. It may work, but at an awfully high cost to your nervous system — and not just in the ways you have mentioned, which are quite serious.
I would recommend that you consider some sessions of Energy Release Regression Therapy, to help you move out STUFF that has been deposited in your system by the Adderall. In such sessions, I have helped clients to remove STUFF related to illegal substances.
For a first session with me, I would recommend a phoner where I facilitate cutting a cord of attachment, starting to clean up STUFF from your aura in that way.
There are really two ways to go, either junking and numbing up your aura — the Adderall route — or the cleaning and healing an aura route. When you want to choose the latter, I’d love to help you.
The techniques in “Empowered by Empathy” can’t work their best when the system is distorted by STUFF caused by Adderall or other optional chemicals. For more about ADHD, see the next comment.
JEFF, about the connection between being an empath and having ADHD:
For clarity, you are referring to an Attention Deficit Disorder, correct?
There is no particular connection between them, in my experience. Being an empath does not set you up for any disease or psychiatric diagnosis or need for medication.
STUFF can be involved, however. Taking in STUFF as an unskilled empath will exacerbate all a person’s problems, including that one.
In the previous comment, I recommended Energy Release Regression Therapy as a means to help with the Adderall problem. I would also recommend it as a means to remove causes of ADHD. Although I don’t make claims that we can remove that syndrome completely, I have had success with helping clients who had been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, panic attacks.
From my perspective, it makes sense that when frozen blocks of energy in a person’s cells are stuck, that distorts the person’s ability to pay attention.
You can make it your business, JEFF, to seek out professional healing that removes frozen blocks of energy. Find a healer who is compatible with you (I would be honored to be your choice) and don’t stop healing, bit by bit, until you can claim a GREAT life, with excellent, natural ability to pay attention however you wish.
Finally, JEFF and other Blog-Buddies, you can find some practical articles about Regression Therapy here:
http://www.rose-rosetree.com/faq.htm#aboutregressions
Plus consumer info here: http://www.rose-rosetree.com/RegressionTherapy.htm#consumer
And a whole bunch of articles about how Energy Release Regression Therapy can help with specific problems here:
http://www.rose-rosetree.com/RegressionTherapy.htm#benefits
HI Rose,
This quiz is helpful in getting more objectivity on being an empath and realizing that others aren’t?! I have assumed that other people have a lot of these same abilities as myself, but just “managed” them better or were “healthier”. Yikes. Talk about dumping on my self-esteem.
I am so happy to be on my way to becoming skilled. At times, it is still hard for me to imagine what other people experience, if they aren’t experiencing things of this “deeper perception” level..??! Perhaps this will become clearer to me and make more sense as I become more skilled, and learn to separate myself more clearly from others.
I imagine this is also a path to get to know “me” more, freer of “stuff”. I hope so. But what I hope most, is to stop taking on additional “stuff” and emotional baggage from other people as if it is my own. It’s not!! How empowering! And the relief this will provide is palpable. Thanks for writing Empath Empowerement. : )
From JEFF: Thanks for the quick reply and wow!
The adderall is my prescription and I’ve only practiced your techniques while not on the medication.
You are right about frozen blocks and while I’ve never heard that word before I know exactly what you mean. I refer to them as cocoons.
I think you connected with me by reading my email and could tell about the frozen blocks. I think these blocks compound my problem of uncontrolled empathy because when I can pick up on the negative emotions of others I can pick up on other people’s feelings of insecurity, hostility, jealousy and selfishness so powerfully that I can taste them.
My question though is if my problem really is frozen blocks then why can I study and pay attention extremely well in an empty house, one on one situations, or in the dorm when everyone is sleeping?
I would think that since I carry these blocks around all the time that my attention should be also pretty steady.
You see my attention problems are affected by being around people. If there are no people around then I can study. I can be extremely focused such that I can remember the details of peoples dress, my surroundings, conversations, or assigned readings down to the slightest nuance.
I feel like if there is no one around for me to absorb STUFF from or if I’m so connected with someone that it reduces the amount of STUFF that I absorb from everyone else that I have no problems at all. Is that possible?
This list made me laugh a little bit. I just went through saying “Yes, yes, yes, yes…” But, thankfully, I can see a lot of them fading into past tense.
The only one I think I can say no to is wondering if I’m crazy. Doing drugs has made me feel that way, but I don’t think my empathy has.
Jeff – Your frozen block could hold information saying, “I can’t pay attention when other people are around because (blah blah blah..)”. The blocks are very nuanced and specific to you and you’ve “learned” from past experiences. It’s not as if there is a specific ADHD block installed in each afflicted person, or that there is just a generalized “lack of focus” block that is in effect no matter where you are or who’s around you.
For example, you have a block (or multiple blocks), put in place by a past experience, telling you that people are always more important to pay attention to than your work. So, when people are around, that’s where your focus inevitably goes. And it feels nearly impossible to work around! I just released something very similar in a regression session.
Lisa – I have the same thoughts, wondering what life feels like for people who aren’t empaths. I imagine they just go bumping around life nearly unaware of other people. You know, on the extreme side of the scale, lol. I don’t know, I’m just glad I’m an empath. Seems like life would be pretty dull any other way!
Loved the quiz. The ones that really stood out for me were #5&6 (I have to decompress after being with people and distract myself so as not mull over and analyze every moment) and #9 (I find mixed messages really bothersome to the point where I’m tempted to say “You don’t think that at all! Why do you gain by pretending you do?”).
I have a copy of Empowered by Empathy and I think I need to go back and re-read about how to turn empathy off.
Excellent, SUE. Empath Empowerment is one of those life skills that deepens ever time you return to it.
Weird. I don’t think I’m an empath, really, but I answered yes to most of these. Many of them do seem to me like things that most people would experience or feel … but maybe not? I suppose that is part of the point. At any rate, thanks for posting this, Rose.
A.D., sounds like you have just made an important discovery. MOST unskilled empaths don’t know they’re empaths. They expect, just as you used to, that “everyone is just like me.”
In “Empowered by Empathy,” there’s a whole chapter called “Skeptical Interlude” where you can test yourself further about whether or not you’re really an empath.
Plus elsewhere in the book you have detailed descriptions of the different gifts an empath might have. So you really can connect with Aha! experiences around what it means to be born as an empath.
Browse the print edition or audio edition of “Empowered by Empathy” by clicking on the cover at http://www.rose-rosetree.com. Or just give yourself a holiday weekend gift by calling our toll-free order number (Works in the U.S. and Canada 24/7.) That’s 800-345-6665.
Once you KNOW you’re an empath, that’s good. But it doesn’t make someone skilled as an empath. That’s what the book is for.
Learning this skill set isn’t hard, but it takes some time and attention. You could compare it to learning how to ride a bike.
Becoming a Skilled Empath involves your entire mind-body-spirit system. That’s why I can’t just post “The Secret” on my blog and instantly all unskilled empaths have all problems solved.
But you have taken a vital first step here, A.D. If you think your life has been great so far, just wait until you’re a Skilled Empath. Wow!
And, meanwhile, thanks for writing.
I especially like #9. I am frequently amazed at how many people seem to engage in wishful thinking when describing themselves. Various types of personal profiles on the Internet, which frequently include a person’s picture (thus enabling you to read their aura), are especially good places to see this in action.
I chuckled when you said if you answered at least 3 questions “yes” you were probably a born empath; how about 28 yeses?
I love #18. I hate it when I’m trying to make a left turn and someone comes up behind me. They don’t even have to honk for me to feel pressured. When I’m first in line at the light, I have to pay close attention to the light so that I can go right away and not hold anyone up.
Like #9, I hate it when people deny the way I sense that they’re feeling. Also, when they say they were “just joking” about something. It blows me away that people can not know what they’re feeling.
I remember wishing as a child that I could read other people’s minds so that I could know the right thing to make them happy. Even I knew that was pretty weird. So many experiences in my life make sense now as I look back on them.
I’m 57 yrs old and I’m finding that I’m getting more sensitive as time goes on. In the past few years it has started extending to plants, animals (especially trees and cats) and even sometimes inanimate objects.
So many people have called me their “therapist” and joked that they ought to be paying me for our “sessions”. I’ve received gifts from strangers for helping them when I used to work in a store and also from some people I’ve worked with (and helped) in other places.
I always wondered if I was so good with people, why did I want to avoid social situations like parties or even family reunions? I’m much better “one on one” with people.
It is only recently that I’ve started recognizing/believing I’m an empath. I always thought I was just a “nice” person. Thanks for the quiz, it is another step in learning who I really am.
Sorry for the multiple comments, I didn’t realize until this last one that you could write more than just a couple of paragraphs per comment. There I go again, apologizing and explaining so I won’t make anyone upset. It just feels too bad not to.
CHERYL, each of your comments is just great. It works well with a blog to have a separate comment for each topic. I do the same myself. Makes things more readable for all the Blog-Buddies.
If you have a chance to read “Empowered by Empathy,” I have a hunch it will help you a lot.
As I was explaining to some Japanese clients today (through an interpreter), learning to become a Skilled Empath is a lot like learning to ride a bicycle. Doesn’t take forever, but it is a very specialized knack that takes a bit of practice.
Learning about yourself (28!!!!) from this Quiz is a great first step, but only the very beginning. The practical point is that when a Skilled Empath you won’t be picking up STUFF into your aura, STUFF you may not even consciously be aware of carrying. Consciously recognized or not, it still can come back to bite you, as it were.
Also, for the sake of being of service to others, you’ll really enjoy the third part of Empath Empowerment, not learning about your gifts, or learning how to effortlessly and naturally keep them turned OFF most of the time, but learning pwerful techniques to safely turn your gifts ON, fully!
It’s a delight to have met you today. Keep on reading and commenting as you become part of this informal — and SWEET — online community.
Rose,
Thank you for your suggestions. I would love to read your book. I’m going to get it as soon as I can get the money together.
Maybe I’m strange, but I love being able to feel people’s emotions (now that I know that’s what’s happening). I want to enhance my sensitivity as much as I can. After reading your site, I am trying to be more aware of my reactions when I’m with people. I purposely try to send out loving energy to people when I’m with them and I find I feel it coming back to me in almost all cases. Sometimes the energy goes back and forth and is intensified with each exchange in the encounter. I am so grateful for this gift and for finally being able to use it in a more conscious way.
That being said, I admit that it IS very difficult to deal with angry people (that’s the hardest emotion for me to handle). Fortunately, now that I know where it is coming from, I can step back from the anger a little more easily. The thing that still upsets me severely is when I am trying to deal with two people with conflicting needs at one time. I can’t be my best with either of them then and it causes me much anxiety and pain.
Concerning the quiz, not all 28 questions were equally true for me, but I did identify to varying degrees with all of them. Hope this clarifies things.
“20. Looking in the mirror, the person I see there does not seem to exactly be me. It is as if there is more to me than that simple reflection.”
Does anybody else look in the mirror and see what looks like totally different people on different days? It shocks me sometimes that I can look so different. Sometimes other people seem to change too.
CHERYL, that mirror thing is very common for empaths. Wrote about it a bit in Empowered by Empathy.
It’s delightful having you become part of our Blog Community. Thanks for both your recent coments.
Hi Rose,
I bought and started reading “Empowered by Empathy” and “Aura Reading”. I have to tell you, you are the REAL DEAL. The extent of your expertise and teaching ability just jumps off the pages. Thank you for sharing all your hard-won experience with us. You’ve spared a lot of people a lot of suffering.
There was one thing, though, that was very uncomfortable for me. It was the tone of belligerance in many of the Q&A questions (am I the only one that hears this?) I kept thinking, “why can’t you ask the question in a pleasant way instead of jumping down Rose’s throat when she’s only trying to help you?” In your seminars, do people really act that way? If so, it seems ironic that they are attending an empathy seminar. I admire the patient and thorough answers you gave them in spite of it all. It was very calming.
I hope that reacting so strongly to this was just me being sensitive and that you weren’t as hurt by it in real life as I was by only reading it.
CHERYL, you sweetie. How your question made me laugh. Am I correct in guessing that you do not live in the United States?
In my 39 years, so far, as a spiritual teacher, I have had some of the most exquisite students you can imagine. Others have been merely delightful. Moving down the continuum of bliss, however, I have encountered students at least as rude as those you’ll encounter in my Q&As.
On this blog, for instance, you haven’t seen many comments that were simply not enabled.
The useful thing about printably rude questions is that they can bluntly address concerns people really do care about. By making the questions so blunt, I’m not merely paraphrasing questions from my students. I’m letting the pain/fear/skepticism show.
However, I’m glad to announce that in my more recent books — LET TODAY BE A HOLIDAY, CUT CORDS OF ATTACHMENT, READ PEOPLE DEEPER — there aren’t any more Q&A sections.
Foreign publishers have convinced me that they don’t like to include such things in their books. For instance, I think of my respected publishing buddy Nina Normann Ferguson, whom I would dearly love to have publish my books some day.
So you may not be the only one to be turned off to the blunt, smart alecky, tone of the Q&A sections in AURA READING THROUGH ALL YOUR SENSES, THE POWER OF FACE READING, and EMPOWERED BY EMPATHY.
Just remember this: America is so wacky that, in my state of Virginia, we have passed a concealed weapons law that makes it okay for people to carry hidden guns when the go to a bar! And recently legislation was passed nationally to allow people to tote their firearms into national parks.
Hi Rose,
I didn’t mean for it to sound like I didn’t like the Q & A section. In fact, I found them very helpful. I just felt pain on your behalf when I read them. I guess that I should have realized that a lot of people feel skeptical. Fear does cause people to be angry. If they only knew the love and wonder they are missing.
Aw, CHERYL, I could tell you liked the Q&As. And your being appalled at how rude people can be when asking questions. You Sweetie!
Well, some students are skeptical and rude, but they still are sincerely interested. I’m happy to teach such people. Of course, I prefer if they are skeptical and polite.
Some students are skeptical and rude… and just showing off. I’ve learned to spot that very easily.
For that matter, some students are polite and may have a question or two, but they don’t really want to learn anything from me at all. With CORDS OF ATTACHMENT, for instance, they like to test me. Will I match their set ideas? As in, “Can you cut all my cords in one session?”
If I give the “right” answer, the one they expect, then I pass the first test. Etc.
The whole process is a delight, and it’s lovely how fast people decide if they really want to study with me or not. So I don’t have to let any of it cause me pain.
But I do accept your good wishes, for sure!!!!!!!
Rose,
The other day I used one of your links to get to a blog entry where you have aura photos of yourself while doing an empathic merge with crystals. Try as I might, I can’t seem to find it again. I tried using the search function, but that didn’t help. I am interested in learning more about crystal/mineral empathy. Can you direct me to that blog entry?
Also I have a question. What does one use crystal empathy for? In other types of empathy you are helping people, plants or animals.
Thanks.
HI Rose,
I love your attitude:
“The whole process is a delight, and it’s lovely how fast people decide if they really want to study with me or not. So I don’t have to let any of it cause me pain”.
And keeping this attitude in the whole kit and kaboodle of prospective clients/students being rude to you and testing you… That is an impressive attitude to hold onto.
I aspire and am focusing on holding onto a positive and empowered feeling/attitude when I get thrown off my center by interactions with rude or toxic people. Most notably for me right now, with my in-laws and their radically disfunctional and toxic ways. Would be great to always stay centered and empowered. Ahhhhh… thanks for the inspiration that it is possible.
Aw, if you had any in-laws like YOU, ANONYMOUS, that would go a long way toward restoring your joy.
Hi Rose , i was just looking on a friends f/b page and saw that she had posts about HSP and started looking around.
I’m 51 years old and have thought all my life that im some kind of freak or wimp or something. I’m still very worried …your summary said if you answered yes to three of the Qs that you were probably born empathic…
I had only one no, on Q 18.i am constantly overwhelmed with emotion .
I can tell when my kids are upset from 2000 miles away and in the past ive used drugs to “deaden” that.
i havent tried the book Empowered By Empathy but will be looking for it .most of my friends think im a very odd person to put it mildly, and dont like that i know how they feel or what they are thinking.
Mainly , i just want to turn it off permanently. Is that possible?
hmmm , i see the last post was aug of last year . i hope you still look over this coment post occasionally . any way ,thanks Rose , ill look for more recent blogs from you.
wade
WADE, fear not. New comments show up right on the home page.
Thank you for your thoughtful share in Comment 27. I don’t know which survey you were responding to, e.g., Question 18.
I DO know that if your Facebook friend was excerpting portions of any of my books without permission, she was infringing on my copyright. I would appreciate your contacting her and asking her to remove what she posted.
One problem with people taking it upon themselves to publish THEIR versions of my writing is that who knows if it is accurate, confused, etc. And that can lead to a lot of problems beyond my control.
I would appreciate your informing her that I work really, really hard (often for years) in order to write books, develop trademarked systems, teach workshops, etc. in order to help people.
This blog, for instance, says at the bottom “All rights reserved.” Probably she means well, but it is just plain wrong to post questionnaires or portions of any of my books online without expressly requesting my permission.
Forgive me for starting with the intellectual property response to your question, but this is logically the first way to respond to what you wrote.
A new comment will address things in more detail.
Hello again, WADE. You have clearly had a lot of anguish related to your sensitivity.
As something you can do right away, it’s smart to get a copy of EMPOWERED BY EMPATHY. Even more, I would recommend your turning to BECOME THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE ROOM.
A blog is not a place for me to facilitate healing. I spend many hours each day working with clients in personal sessions, usually by phone, in order to offer individualized help.
If one or both of these books does the trick for you, great! If they help a bit, but you’re still suffering, consider making an appointment for a session of Aura Healing and Transformation.
You can read more about these at my regular website, http://www.rose-rosetree.com . Click on SESSIONS on the left column and read away! You’ll also find many free articles that might be helpful.
I suppose I’m in that Skeptical Interlude right now. I’ve always felt “different” from other people. I described it as feeling “disconnected” for a while, but that didn’t seem to make much sense to me, because I was always extremely quick to pick up on how people were feeling.
The disconnect I’ve always felt was always in regards to “nuances” that everyone else seemed to be picking up on, like while watching movies and telling jokes. When I hear my brother laugh from the other side of the apartment, I feel intense anger and sadness. My mom would tell me that I was being overdramatic, and that it was “crazy” to “overanalyze” how my brother is feeling.
In my mind, and as I described it to her, when he laughed, it felt “forced” and “uncomfortable” to me, and that he was burying intense amounts of anger, boredom, and frustration. I would jump to memories of laughter from other people, and while I knew the laughter sounded the same, something told me, “My brother’s laughter is different. His is a fake laughter.”
#4 hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s been circling around in my mind for the past few months, since I started meeting people who are more into the things that I like to do. I always felt like they “knew” what was going on to the extent that I do, but that they had “better control” and “more experience.”
I’ve been beating myself up, trying to wrap my mind around it, but it just seems so foreign. Recently, I’ve even been thinking of them as “insensitive” and “selfish,” and it just makes me feel awful, because I don’t know what to do with this conclusion that I’ve come to: They don’t “get it,” and they’re nice, selfless people “in their own right.”
I’m sorry if this seems jumbled, but what really got me was the mention of ADHD. I was recently diagnosed (3 weeks ago), at the fresh age of 19, and since taking Ritalin, the “whirring” feeling I’ve had in my mind for years felt like it shut off.
While I can still “choose” to dwell on those “deeper intuitions,” it makes it easier to switch back to My-Life-Mode. It worried me to see someone note this feeling as “killing empathy,” because I know that Ritalin makes me feel less overwhelmed by everything for the first time in my life, and it seems like discontinuation of my medication would send me back into that Hell.
It has always been an enlightening Hell, but having spent years in it, I came out realizing that I have no idea who I am, as an individual, and that I have no idea where a lot of my feelings come from. I feel split in ten-thousand directions, with this “I-Need-To-Save-Everyone/Everyone-Is-Hurting” complex.
Any thoughts? I’m very very confused and scared.
TRAVIS, thanks for writing. The first, and most important, point to make is the role of common sense. So I’ll devote a first blog comment to that.
When you are in such discomfort, the very first thing to do is to find a mental health practitioner. Call friends or organizations or even a help desk to get some recommendations of a reputable professional you can see.
The practitioner who has prescribed your current medication is a great person to start with as a resource for you.
TRAVIS, continuing, I would recommend “Become the Most Important Person in the Room” as a simple, straightforward program that you can start using on a daily basis.
You can order it easily at our toll-free number, 800-345-6665. (Details about the book, plus online ordering, are at http://www.rose-rosetree.com ).
It’s obvious from what you wrote earlier that you were reading “Empowered by Empathy.” So glad you have it, and it can be helpful as well, but the other book is easier to work with and, as you have noted, you’re on the confused side for now.
The best way to use BECOME is to read it first just for fun, skipping all the assignments. Then read one short chapter a day, with a 10-minute homework assignment.
Doing this, don’t strive for perfection. Don’t beat yourself up. Simply do the best you can in an easy, sloppy way.
Results will accumulate and will help you IN CONJUNCTION with getting help from a mental health professional.
One more practical point, TRAVIS, is that it would be great if you could have at least one phone session with me, what would officially be called a session of “Aura Healing and Transformation.”
This would not be a substitute for meeting with a mental health professional, right?
During a session, I can do a Skilled Empath Merge near the beginning to get a sense of what is going on with you.
This is where using full energetic literacy becomes helpful. Depending on what I find, I can then select the appropriate skill set to help you.
That might involve removing psychic coercion, cutting a cord of attachment, moving out astral entities, locating a problem with energetic imbalances, even facilitating an exorcism. Ways of being out of whack, aurically, are very individual and require individual consultation.
For example, I had a session recently with “Gladys” who had a longstanding, very serious problem with ADD. However, when we were in session, I noticed some imbalances in WHERE she was putting her attentin, which threw certain chakra databanks out of whack.
We discussed it. I facilitated a bit of healing. Within 24 hours she gave me the feedbank that “I don’t seem to have ADD any more.” And the results lasted.
STUFF can be healed, and in very individual ways, so don’t be discouraged, Travis. But don’t expect anyone’s blog or chat group to give you the in-depth expert help you need to support your own efforts.
Hi Rose,
For about half a year now, I’ve been on a sort of journey to figure out if the roller coaster of emotions I have experienced my entire life is me being an empath.
As an academic, I’ve done my fair share of research. I took a plethora of other quizzes and read all sorts of theories. I even spoke briefly with a psychic while on vacation (when I asked about all the emotions I experience, she said I was an empath).
But none of that has helped me so much as this quiz and the other information on your website. The way you put things is so down-to-Earth and easy to understand.
After taking this quiz and answering “yes” and “ABSOLUTELY” to a vast majority of the questions, I really feel that I am an empath.
And for me, that’s a heavy statement to make. Most of the people I know and associate with either don’t believe in this sort of thing or think it’s evil.
I know I’m not evil. But I’ve been diagnosed with clinical anxiety and depression and have experienced panic attacks. So that would be the accepted explanation for all the emotions… supposedly.
Still, those diagnoses have never felt all the way right, and the medication I took all through my teen years just dulled the edges off of ALL my emotions–not just the sadness and worry.
As an adult now, I’ve stopped the meds–partially for artistic purposes and partially because I might be an empath. I have a full range of emotions again, but I still get overloaded.
Huge emotions come over me and are so strong, I can’t rationalize them away at all. Like the quiz mentions, in these moments, I honestly feel crazy. But then I’ll find out sooner or later that someone to whom I’m close experienced those emotions at moment. Of course, even after I pray and put on my rose quartz necklace and the intensity drains, I still feel lingering bits of it.
One of the few things that gives me a vacation from the chaos is music. I can listen to it, and though I feel it, it’s my choice. I can choose the emotion, and that is a sweet and welcome treat.
What I mean by all this is to thank you for posting this. It’s bringing me closer to understanding a truth about myself, a truth that is simultaneously scary and fascinating. And by extension, understanding a truth about my father and late paternal grandmother with whom I have many of these traits in common.
As an artist, I need to understand myself. As a woman, I need to take care of my health. As a member of the human race, I need to take my gifts and share them with the world in a positive way. This post has helped me come a little closer to getting to a place where I can do just that.
Thanks,
Carol
The advice that you’ve given resounds with me, especially given the experience I’ve had in the past few months. I went from a point where I viewed my entire emotional blueprint as diagnostic criteria for mental-illness-of-the-week, fighting my instincts until I felt numb. I remained in that state for so long that I forgot what it was like to really feel something. Recently, I’ve allowed myself to feel, trying not to judge it, and letting my heart speak for me.
I actively silenced that voice within for so long that my mind was left to its own devices, unchecked by the sentiments of my spirit, and I ruined myself. Given the ADHD – which makes so many different things more difficult – and that feeling that I always felt differently than everybody else, reacted different, the best thing for me (and everyone else, for that matter) would have been to allow myself to feel and think the way that worked best for my mind, unrestrained by the stigmas of society.
Instead, with the ignorance of the child that I was, I shut myself out of the social world. When I finally opened back up to it about 6 years ago, it was exhilarating at first, but the sense that I was intrinsically different than everyone I encountered overtook me. I lost focus on school, and the stress brought about by my lack of motivation to engage in social pursuits was compounded when I lost the motivation to engage in the intellectual (which had always been my outlet).
With nowhere to put my energies, with the ignorance I had as a 13 year old (the social phase only lasted a few months in 2004), with a mother who was and still is emotionally dead, and with the persistant feeling that there was something “wrong” with me, I sought medical help.
Now, instead of going to mental health professionals with a goal in mind of diagnosing me, I manipulated them to diagnose me with different illnesses I had found on the internet. When they diagnosed me, always tentatively, and I took the medications, nothing changed. So, I moved on to the next “mental-illness-of-the-week,” spent months trying to get the diagnosis, got the medications, experienced no change, and repeated the process until I had dropped out of school and did nothing but examine my thoughts and feelings under the pretext that I was sick.
At its worst, I had no friends, did not communicate, dropped out of school, and checked myself in – voluntarily – to a residential treatment center, usually reserved for juvenile deliquents who had cut a deal in court.
About 18 months ago, after a year back in high school, I began weening myself off of the seven medications I was on for “Bipolar Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified,” “Generalized Anxiety Disorder,” and “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.”
I ended up failing all my classes because of the turmoil that put my nervous system through, but I then entered my overdue senior year last September, and I stuck with it the best I could.
Now, in January of this year, I met someone who reminded me of the 13-year-old me before I turned inward. I met him, and we’re actually dating. At first, I was so confused as to how he and his friends did ANYTHING that they did. They seemed to “get” things that I didn’t, and it brought me back to how I felt at 13, and how nothing I had been through had altered my true essence.
The beautiful thing was that I – instead of doing what I did 6 years ago – accepted myself and decided that I would just work with it the best way I could.
I got to a point where I got so bogged down my the drudgery of forcing myself to get up, forcing myself to shower, trying to shut out that constant chatter of self-criticism and overanalysis that had for the past 6 years taken over me, having to refocus myself with every step of my morning routine – “Travis, what the heck are you doing? Wash your hair. Okay, now your face” – and I ended up having nervous breakdowns multiple times a day.
This was strange to me because I hadn’t cried in about 3 or 4 years, since my best friend died. By the end of the week, I had a complete mental breakdown where I just uncontrollably screamed for about an hour, by myself in my room.
After that episode, which was about 8 weeks ago, I sought mental help again, but with the intention of simply telling them what my concerns were and having them tell me what they make of it. I was put on something they give to epilectics to calm their nerves, and that solved the uncontrollable breakdown problem, but didn’t stop the numbness I felt in between. I then was put on an antidepressant.
By that time, I had some stability, and really took a look at what my actual difficulties were from an objective point of view. A month ago, I reported these findings, and was diagnosed with ADHD. The Ritalin did what it’s supposed to do, but this only opened me up to the fact that I was emotionally restraining myself.
3 weeks ago, I got angry for the first time in years, and just let it out, and I’m working on allowing myself to feel exactly how I should feel at any given moment, and to react in the way that is most beneficial to me without harming anyone around me.
I’ve discovered my passions again, and continue to battle that negative voice, but – hey! – it’s only been a few months! So, I’m hopeful in general.
I came to this site because, after opening myself up to my emotions again, and – given my intellectual orientation towards analysis – noticed a discrepancy between my situation and how I was feeling.
I also noticed that it became exponentially more difficult to focus, keep that negative voice in check, and just not feel fragmented, after or amidst being in the company of others. I also discovered, given how connected my emotions are to past experiences, that I’ve felt this way for a while, but simply stifled it.
The “wrong”-ness that I fought so hard to “fix” before is my mind’s natural orientation towards multitasking, its “ADD”-ness that prefers different ways of processing information, and my spiritual orientation of feeling deeply connected with everyone.
Now, in the continuation of my efforts for self-discovery, I’m wondering if empathy is another part of that “wrong”-ness that I’ve now embraced as “Travis”-ness (which is the only “right”-ness for me).
I actually went to the mall two days in a row. The first day I went there, I was mostly surrounded by energetic youth at an arcade, playing a video game that I love, singing karaoke, making people smile, talking to some realy nice people. I did well at everything.
Yesterday, though, I wasn’t as occupied, so I ended up doing what I always do, and I couldn’t shake this feeling that I just wanted to help people. I went from face to face, and soon the processing of my sense of sight ran synchonized with my sense of “how they’re feeling,” and I had to leave the mall. This has happened a lot, especially in the past few months, even moreso in the past few weeks, since I opened up to my own emotions. Instead of fighting it, though, I don’t let it shake me. I care about them, I worry about them, I don’t know what I can do to help them, I know I can’t help everyone, this frustrates me, but I move on. Regardless, I came home yesterday and just felt very … malled, as you might put it.
It seems that the only thing that decides whether or not I have a good time is whether or not I keep myself in check. It’s exhausting, and completely unfamiliar, and very isolating.
When you said that Gladys focused her attention in very unbalanced ways, this rang true to me. Like I said, I was hyperfocused for years on myself and “fixing” me, and shutting off my emotions because I viewed them as symptoms of some nebulous mental illness. I’m happier now that I throw my attention onto more positive things. But, it’s still a struggle, and I just want to know if there’s anything else I could be doing to make this process easier.
Sorry that was so longwinded. I am a bit of a writer.
TRAVIS, writing whatever you want, however long it takes, is part of everyone’s invitation to comment here at this blog.
Although your story is unique, and it has included an uncommon amount of pain, one thing you wrote about is extremely common. Most empaths don’t know about their lifelong gift(s), nor do they have any idea how delightful life will be after becoming a skilled empath.
But becoming a skilled empath isn’t done just by reading some interesting ideas on the Internet. It isn’t like research you have done about diagnoses. It is a SKILL SET, like learning to ride a bicycle.
I really do encourage you to get a copy of BECOME THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE ROOM, do one short chapter a day plus a simple 10-minute homework assignment, and wake up your strengths.
Being a skilled empath means that you are able to comfortably, easily keep your empath gift(s)OFF most of the time. When you do turn them on, you do it on purpose, and very briefly. The insights you will get? Priceless.
For inspiration, you might want to check out some Skilled Empath Merges reported by Elaine in comments to these two different posts:
http://www.rose-rosetree.com/blog/2010/06/12/lynne-porzel-body-whisperer-empath-merge/
http://www.rose-rosetree.com/blog/2010/06/07/empath-merge-with-medical-intuitive-judy-lavine/
Hi Rose,
I have just found your writings, but I am so excited to read your books, and perhaps take some training from you.
I feel kind of stupid not realizing I am empath for all this time, the signs were certainly there, particularly when I was a child and I could almost not function because of feeling the constant emotional pain from humans and animals…
It was very interesting to take the quiz, because while I answered “yes” to many questions, I found myself also answering “I used to do that”. I think to some extent I have either turned off my empathy, or perhaps learned boundaries, as I’ve matured.
At one point in my adulthood, I actually had to move far away from my family, whom I get along with well. But I was finding it hard to know if others liked me for myself or them, and I was finding myself too enmeshed with them.
As a teenager I found it very hard to be away for a weekend on retreats with other people, where I was expected to be with them 24/7. I would start getting nutty and antisocial by the end, because I needed to be by myself so badly.
I look forward to reading much more, and learning how I can use my empathic skills in a more conscious and constructive way.
Kara
KARA, welcome to the world of Empath Empowerment(R) and other skill sets to make deeper perception practical.
There are some relatively easy things you can learn, for sure.
Glad to have you here.
Hmm, I ticked 25. I do have better boundaries than I used to, so some of these are things that really bothered me in the past and now I’m better at dealing with them, but still I would really like to know how to deal with the overwhelm.
I’ve never really felt that the walls as protection idea sat right with me. Practicing detachment and prayer and building my self-esteem has been my route so far. Okay, will buy some books!
Re Comment 40: PRIMROSE, only 25?
About buying books, if you’re talking about mine, and taking into consideration your other comments elsewhere at the blog. Here is what I recommend:
Definitely start with BECOME THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE ROOM.
Later, go for EMPOWERED BY EMPATHY.
You want to cut cords of attachment or have a healer facilitate that for you. I get that. But given the huge amount of STUFF you reported, you really might want to consider a few phoner sessions with me (or another healer you would prefer!).
With me, for instance, I would recommend a first session of 90 minutes, so we can talk a bit more than my usual 55-minute sessions. The latter facilitate big healing but you don’t get to talk much. Be prepared, if you choose the shorter one.
For an intention for a first session, you might choose something like “Trusting people more.”
I strongly recommend you don’t attempt to cut cords of attachment until you have had 3-6 personal sessions with a professional, because such horrible difficulties as you have mentioned would compromise the clarity of your work.
Once you ARE ready, that’s the time to read CUT CORDS OF ATTACHMENT. Please pay attention to my urging readers to cut at least six minor cords of attachment before going for a major one.
Really, I recommend you cut ALL your minor cords first. Most people would need to allow at least three days after doing each one. Given all the trauma you’ve experienced, would be smarter to allow 10 days after doing each one. That may sound slow, but you have a long ways to integrate each healing.
For PRIMROSE and others who have had difficult birth experiences. (Yes, “difficult” is an understatement, I know, Primrose.)
If it helps, I didn’t have your exact experience starting off. But I was one of the earlier incubator babies, which means that for my first two months of life I was pretty much in a box alone.
Doctors didn’t know yet about bonding, the need of babies to be held, etc. So I would have been fed and changed and then put back in the box alone for most of the time.
Yes, I have done a fair amount of healing about such an interesting way to start of, with many reverberations in years to follow. As a result, I do have a bit of compassion for others who also got off to a difficult start. Or were jet propelled into fast-track evolution!
Also, PRIMROSE and others, I stand here as an example that STUFF can always, always, always be healed. Whichever books and healers you consult to help you on your path, please remember that. Because it’s true if you don’t give up on yourself or on life.
Thank you Rose. Think it’s remarkable that you’ve healed that early lack of love and are connected. My early life cut me off so much from love and God. Now I’m being drawn to spiritual healing despite myself!
Will read your books, and am sure in time will call you. And I appreciate what you say about taking it easy with cord cutting. I didn’t of course. I went straight for the one that was the most intense and it was very painful to do it.
But it did help to release grief, so I was very glad I did it.
I just needed that release and it did work even though I didn’t really know what I was doing. 10 days apart sounds like good advice, thank you.
Do I sound like I have so much stuff? Funny! I am a beginner in this way of looking at life so I can’t tell. Look forward to finding out about empathy.
Best. P.
I love that fact that all your teachings have a strong core of learning to ‘be ourselves’! It is something I greatly need.
I tried giving your empath test to my 7 year old daughter but it was really more geared to adults. I can come up with something but maybe there is already a resource out there that could help me question my child to see if she is an empath.
A really cool side note, with the work I have been doing with my boyfriend (going through the 30 days to “Become the Most Important Person in the Room”) he has been able to identify that one of his problem kids is most likely an emotional empath.
I read your parenting chapter in your “Empowered by Empathy” book but I still am at a loss for how to teach it to a child.
How to introduce his parents to his empathic abilities?? Do you know of any resources I can go to for more information to help this child and his parents?
Ugh. Re-read the quiz just now.
Today I’m kicking myself for being an empath. I really hate it sometimes.
I’ve been applying the techniques from Become the Most Important Person in the Room but I still find many situations difficult.
I’m pretty down on myself right now. It’s hard being an empath!
I especially feel that dating is harder for me. I see my sensitivity as a weakness and fear that women would prefer a tough strong insensitive guy sometimes.
I get down on myself in turn, feeling self-conscious and less confident. I don’t know what to do. I guesss I’m going to get Empowered by Empathy and do some more phone sessions. It just really sucks sometimes being an empath. So Much Overload.
28/28 – I think I may be an empath…
DAVE, oh I do hope you are not still kicking yourself. Such a tough way to grow, and not usually too productive… unless you are attempting to “grow” into a body that consists of large purple bruises.
Reading Empowered by Empathy is a great follow-up to cycling through Become The Most Important Person in the Room.
An even better idea is doing some phone sessions of Aura Healing and Transformation. STUFF that is stuck in your aura can definitely slow down completely developing skills of Empath Empowerment.
Moreover, it is very common that people have problems NOT caused by being an unskilled empath that are assumed to be empath-related. But they clear up instantly once the particular chunk of STUFF is released.
With every bit of healing at the level of auras (and subconscious mind), with every bit more skill at waking up from inside to have your full and glorious identity as a human (the main strategy I have developed techniques for as the skill set of Empath Empowerment) — every bit of that can bring you permanent results.
So please be gentle as this unfolds for you.
One more response to your Comment 45, DAVE. Many Blog-Buddies can probably identify with what you wrote here:
“I see my sensitivity as a weakness and fear that women would prefer a tough strong insensitive guy sometimes.”
Here’s a very central concept of Energy Spirituality:
In your aura you have hundreds of chakra databanks.
Every one of them contains a permanent, beautiful, Divinely created, very individual… gift of your soul. An example would be your sensitivity, DAVE.
Chakra databanks also have a size and quality that depends on how that gift is being used, at any particular time in your life. STUFF is often involved.
STUFF, stuck emotional and/or spiritual energy at the level of auras, can always, always, always be healed.
One way to do that is personal sessions of Aura Healing and Transformation. Some people have great success with Energy Psychology. Whatever gets you there, dude!
Before STUFF related to your love life is healed, it is very easy to blame problems on your gifts rather than the STUFF. Which would be so unfortunate, even bruising!
DAVE, as long as you refuse to give up, you will find a way to heal that STUFF. There could, for instance, be some cords of attachment that impact you now 24/7, bringing patterning that affects your energetic modeling with every single new date. Subconsciously, long as you still have that STUFF, she might get the message that, “Yes, I’m a sensitive guy. But, sooner or later, I always wind up as a victim in love relationships. Let’s enjoy the good times because deep down I know they never will last.”
Sensitivity, I assure you, is a magnificent gift. Sensitivity is not STUFF.
BTW, the clearest description I’ve done yet about chakra databanks is in Magnetize Money with Energetic Literacy.
Even though that wasn’t exactly written as a solution to problems of a Highly Sensitive Person or empath, there are some cool illustrations and many examples that might help you understand the gift/STUFF aspect better.
For you, DAVE, and any of you other Blog-Buddies who have been struggling over the balance between emotionally giving and emotionally receiving, I would recommend that how-to book as a next step for you.
Hi, Rose. Thank you so much for your work with Empath Empowerment.
I bought your Become the Most Important Person in the Room (and Cut Cords of Attachment) in January and did the complete program then and have just restarted it for a second time — it’s made a huge difference for me.
(I’m delighted you have so many books, but it is kind of hard to figure out what order to get them and read them in!)
Many thanks,
Jessica
[...] [...]
I got 26/28. I don’t have any problems with 1 and 16. But I’m not much of an emotional empath. If I am, then I ignore it largely in favor of my own emotions.
I suspect my empath abilities are more on the intellectual side. I care very much how other people think. It’s one of the thrills of my life. And animals too.
I never, ever would have believed I was an empath. Rose had to check for me me. I’m pretty sure my gifts are subtle so I just thought I was odd all this time.
Dave, I’ve been going through Become the Most Important Person in the Room for 6 months and I still find myself struggling. I lose myself in groups of people. Sometimes I just zone out somewhere far away and have little idea of where I just went. I didn’t get nicknamed space cadet for nothing. But it is getting better.
I think I do too much emotional giving as well, but sigh.. one step at a time, right?
I will respond to you soon, Rose, on your follow-ups to my butterfly merge post.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Rose. They mean a lot.
Your post definitely put things in perspective and I am feeling better today than yesterday. I think I let myself get down, and perhaps I was inviting in and reveling in “gray slime.”
The points that really helped me put things back in perspective you made were:
“Moreover, it is very common that people have problems NOT caused by being an unskilled empath that are assumed to be empath-related. But they clear up instantly once the particular chunk of STUFF is released.”
and
“Subconsciously, long as you still have that STUFF, she might get the message that, “Yes, I’m a sensitive guy. But, sooner or later, I always wind up as a victim in love relationships. Let’s enjoy the good times because deep down I know they never will last.”
Sensitivity, I assure you, is a magnificent gift. Sensitivity is not STUFF.”
and finally
“DAVE, as long as you refuse to give up, you will find a way to heal that STUFF.”
I am feeling better and am trying to view my sensitivity as the gift I know it can be. And, that last part is especially inspiring advice rose
I am a nice person, but not really an empath (we discussed that on the phone one day together). Still, I get lots of “yes” answers to the quiz. Something is a bit off here.
Dave, here’s more food for thought on sensitivity.
There was a time when I hated being sensitive, too. It was just so difficult to deal with! And in American culture, it’s not exactly hugely valued. Because I work with lots of Asians, I really notice this difference. I’ve found that sensitivity and introversion are much more valued in Asian cultures (based on my experience over the years).
Growing up around dysfunctional, sometimes downright cruel people, was even harder because I was so sensitive.
But now reading the Empath Quiz and all the interesting comments of people at all different stages of awareness and development, it’s heartening to realize that after lots of work to remove all the STUFF I possibly can, and with good mentoring, I actually do love my sensitivity now.
I’ve gone step-by-step through Rose’s books and have experienced great change.
Because I’m free of so much muck and also because I feel generally more congruent, having changed my name to one that suits me better, I can actually feel my sensitivity more. But this is great now because I know how to take care of myself and how to turn my empathy off and on.
It’s my sensitivity that’s contributing to the success I’m experiencing lately in my work. It allows me to experience the world in ways many other people can’t. So now I love my sensitivity.
And about dating…well, I’m one woman, Dave, who’d be thrilled to find a sensitive guy to date! I’m sure a sensitive guy would be much more likely to understand me. I’ll say, too, what I’ve said to a couple of sensitive guys I’ve known. Straight, white, American sensitive guys (I don’t know if you fit in that group). I think that’s one of the hardest ‘minority’ groups to be in in the U.S., what with all the expectations of how men are supposed to behave. Things are changing, but still, I think it must be even tougher to be a sensitive guy in this culture.
My work with Rose has been great. I’ve particularly valued and benefitted from learning how to cut cords of attachment. That’s how I get other people’s muck out of my aura and boy, does it make a difference.
Here’s to celebrating sensitivity!
To learn more about what it means, and doesn’t mean, being an empath, you might enjoy this discussion about terms like “psychic empath” and “intuitive empath”:
http://www.rose-rosetree.com/blog/2011/06/03/psychic-empath-intuitive-development-empowerment/
JIM, you are a mega-nice person. Also, as you noted, not an empath. So why did you get “Yes” to some of my quiz questions? Because that quiz isn’t perfect.
It is only the best I could do at the time.
If you really want detailed information, including a quiz of better quality, one that I considered publishable in a book… you might want to get a copy of Become the Most Important Person in the Room.
You are a Highly Sensitive Person. One out of five people is an HSP, as defined by Dr. Elaine Aron. Since only 1 in 20 people is an empath… And since you are a mathematician… You have probably already figured out that only 1 in 4 HSPs is also an empath.
A surprising discovery to me about Become the Most Important Person in the Room. is that I’ve heard that this book can be useful for HSPs, not only empaths. If you’re an HSP but not an empath, you can enjoy “flunking” the quiz there for empaths. More important, you can benefit from all the chapters in the book except for the last 3 out of the 30 short chapters. Skip those ones, that’s all.
What makes an empath different from a HSP?
By the way, I flunked the standard Elaine Aron HSP quiz. I don’t think that one is perfect either.
ASHLEY, thanks for both comments. Consoling!
Basic differences you asked about:
An HSP or Highly Sensitive Person has a highly sensitive nervous system — is neurophysiologically reactive and perceptive in ways that other people are not.
Statistically, that’s 1 in 5 people worldwide.
An empath not only is an HSP but ALSO has at least one significant gift for directly experiencing what it is like to be another person.
Statistically, that’s 1 in 20 people worldwide; 1 in 4 HSPs.
Make sense?
Hey, Grace, thank you for your kind words. I do indeed fit into that category. I guess statistically it is a minority category, lol. I hadn’t really conceptualized it in that manner before.
Yep I think it has been pretty challenging. It was even more challenging before I started to mentally understand why I had always felt different. Practicing empath empowerment has definitely helped me be more effective in life, and I am working on being more “me” whenever possible.
Still though, I do feel sometimes that I am at a bit of a disadvantage in the dating scene. I’m still young too, right around 20, and I think people my age still base their wants of partners on what they’ve been socialized to want: You know, a big strong feelingless guy.
I am optimistic that as I and my peers grow older we will start being more in tune with what we really want, and my gifts can be seen as more of a gift than a detriment. I have a sneaking suspicion though that that shift has to start with me first
Still, too, I have had a good amount of success in casual dating for my age, but I think I have been afraid of opening up and being myself, for myriad reasons, some doing to being an empath and not being confident in my sense of self.
Elaine Aron talks about HSPs’ hesitancy to get into relationships due to being easily overstimulated and a fear of losing a sense of self. I think this is doubly true due to my being an empath. The result is that I’ve had lots of more casual relationships, many based on sex.
So that I know on some level I know I’m appealing and intriguing to the opposite sex but I’m experiencing hesitancy in believing that there are women that really want to enter into a long-term relationship and want to love me for me. I conceptually know this is probably mostly irrational, and I bet there’s some auric level junk going on causing this. I bet this is a good place for me to start working in my future sessions with rose.
A main reason I like Rose’s empath life list is that it is extremely encouraging knowing that there are super successful and super powerful and influential male empaths out there doing great things in the world. Jon Stewart, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Tom Hanks, these are some super amazing guys who’ve done amazing things and are adored and respected by millions, maybe even billions of people.
Obviously being an empath isnt like leprosy, lol. A thought I have come to accept. Its merely a skill set that needs to be learned to be controlled to minimize the suffering that empaths face. It does though make being the stereotypical guys guy according to US standards more difficult. Although I’ve been socially successful throughout my life, so I shouldn’t beat myself up to hard.
A main thing
P.S. A main thing I’m working on right now is balancing the give and take on energy and emotions. I see how overgiving we empaths are, and how it can almost be irritating to some people, or can make others less likely to value our opinions or our worth. We need to take more! Let others do some giving, carrying the conversation, picking up the phone to call! I see this in my empath father which has really illuminated my own behavior.
The most encouraging thing though is learning about life contracts. According to many New Age sources we pick our own bodies, and all the challenges that come with it. Accordingly there must have been a purpose for me incarnating as an empath. I believe I’m probably learning a lot of soul level stuff, being super sensitive to all this crazy earth chaos.
I know this is almost a novel now, ha, but writing about my experiences as an empath can shed light on some of the difficulties we face.
Peace out!
And Grace, I definitely agree that my sensitivity can be a major advantage in certain areas of my life. I can perceive things that many other people can’t. That’s definitely an advantage. But it’s shoring up on the other things that’s the issue now.
I’d be curious, Grace, what kind of things have you been working on that have helped you be more comfortable as an empath?
Avoid loud places, or it more subtle than that? And I have picked up Rose’s Cut Cords of Attachment book but I have not mustered the courage or the energy to really apply the steps in a concise way. Have you had good success cutting cords of attachment on your own?
Dave, the fact that you’ve connected with Rose and her work and that you participate in the blog with such thoughtful and perceptive comments and that you are only 20 is something to be really happy about!
Meaning that you are waaaay ahead of where I was at your age! (I’m 51) This is part of the beauty of Rose’s work. She learned lessons over years that she’s shared with us in her books and in sessions so that those of us who are paying attention and willing to do the work can literally save years of bumbling around unconsciously.
I can definitely relate to the different concerns you shared. And I, too, have had the biggest struggle with simply having a strong sense of self. It makes sense to me now how that came about. Understanding how I’m wired, through understanding what it means to be an HSP, an empath, through the wonderful tool of astrology, seeing that this wiring is pretty rare – this has all helped a lot.
It makes sense that it was hard to have a strong sense of self since I didn’t get mirroring for these traits. And I know now that this has actually been the area of my greatest growth in this lifetime, so it’s no wonder it’s been real challenging at times. A big role that Rose has played is mirroring those soul gifts and validating the empath in me. This has been very powerful, along with the lists of empaths and enlightened folks. More role models!
I’ve learned loads over the years about what it means to be an HSP and an empath and the biggest challenge in all of it has been gradually developing the courage, self-esteem, and confidence to make choices in my life to support my sensitivity. That involves a whole range of choices, from where I live, the kind of workplace I choose, just all kinds of choices, some of which haven’t been very conventional.
For instance, at my current job, I made the choice not to join the full-time, salaried teaching colleagues, but to be among the part-time (though working full-time) staff. I can actually make more money this way, but a major reason for this choice was to avoid having to be stuck at a desk in a dreadful open office space arrangement that was designed by someone with no clue what it’s like to be an HSP! Nowhere to escape for privacy or complete quiet. It would be torture to have to sit there, so I’m content with not having an office at all. I flit in to my classes and leave, retreating to various quiet places I have around the university to recharge. Suits me fine.
About being an HSP in general, I’m very attuned to what will be too stimulating for me and I just quietly go about designing my life to support myself. I’ve developed skills in asking for what I want and saying no to situations that I know will wind up being too much for me. I generally don’t go into long explanations about being sensitive, since most people don’t get it. I just do what I need to do and always have my sensitivity in mind. I pace myself and I take breaks after lots of socializing so I can re-energize.
I’ve gone through some situations that have wound up developing clarity in me about boundaries and I like that if need be, I can be pretty fierce about taking care of myself. I’ve suffered enough along the way and am not willing to pay the price any more.
As for cutting cords, 3 years ago I started on that line of Rose’s work with having her cut 6 or so major cords over many months. This was great in that I experienced the process. Then the book came out and I just did it, starting with minor cords.
A great gift Rose gives is the encouragement of self-authority. Just do it – follow the directions, accept what you get, trust it. That’s literally what I did. Last week I completed my 115th cord. It’s amazing, practical, helpful work.
My experience has been that the more STUFF I cleared out of my aura, the easier it became to simply be myself and by extension, to appreciate being sensitive and an empath. Felt like archeology, digging out the muck from so many other people! So I’m a big proponent of just really going after the removal of STUFF, whether through cord-cutting, aura healing sessions, energy release regression sessions, body work, whatever works. I consciously went after that over a period of several years.
What I’ve experienced is that removing a lot of STUFF and doing the Most Important Person in the Room techniques has helped me know real clearly how it feels to simply be me. So that if I have an encounter that leaves me feeling mucked up, I know that I’ve probably got a cord. I check for it, cut it and instantly feel better. So then it’s easier to both use and appreciate my gifts. I don’t do skilled empath merges and readings yet in the way that Elaine has been; mostly I’m still enjoying just being myself, especially since changing my name.
I have, though, seen how the more STUFF I remove, the better I’ve gotten at certain skills, like dancing and drawing. There’s more sensitivity there to be tapped into, which is loads of fun. I’ve mentioned in different comments that I spend a lot of time at my job interacting with Asians, so my sensitivity comes in handy there and is appreciated, since that trait is much more valued in Asian culture than in Western culture. So I guess I’m lucky that way.
I hope that you’ll decide to take the plunge and do some cord-cutting. It is really fascinating and fun.
Thanks for the opportunity to chat about this stuff. It’s made such a huge difference in my life.
Hi, Rose.
I have gotten the Empowered by Empathy book. And will be buying more of your books.
When I started reading your book I felt like I belonged in a world of people my kind. I took your quiz and had 24 yes / 4 no.
I relate to animals, plants, people, environmental, and some medical empath gifts, too. I think I might be an intellectual shape shifter, too.
I know one thing. I can be at the movies or at a bank or store and I can only be there for about an hour, because I start feeling everybody and anything and become sick like headaches, upset stomach, having dirrera. Or sometimes I can get really depressed over nothing. Like I pick up the whole world’s problems.
I also can feel a person’s pains and aches.
I used to hold everything because I didn’t know how to let go of it. I am still learning how to let it go.
I am also a psychic/medium person. Can a person be both an empath and psychic/medium? I used to just cry and thought I was the only one like this. I am so glad I ran into your book.
I have people like me yay! Are you going to have seminar in caldwell, Idaho someday? I hope I am making sense, I have so much emotion about this empathy that I can’t type fast enough.
Thank you, Maribell Murray.
Love you
Just re read this post, GRACE. Great Stuff! Super inspiring!
I am working on developing my energetic literacy skills through aura reading and this comment has inspired me to go open up ROSE’s Cut Cords of Attachment.
I have one question for you, though. What is the significance of a name change? I’ve seen it talked about on this blog a lot but I guess it’s a “New Age” concept I can’t really wrap my head around. That a person’s name affects their life….
Any insight would be appreciated!
Thanks a bunch for this post! Super inspiring!
Welcome, MARIBEL.
Sounds like you are off to a great start, becoming a skilled empath. Please be patient with yourself as you go.
You started with the more in-depth book. An easier book to work with the first time is Become the Most Important Person in the Room.
You can sample this, as well as find many FAQs and other articles, at my main website, http://www.rose-rosetree.com.
Also, I would recommend you read this other blog post, as well as just playing around in general here, using the left column to help you find empath-related articles:
http://www.rose-rosetree.com/blog/2011/06/03/psychic-empath-intuitive-development-empowerment/
Thanks for writing us all here today!
– Rose
Hi there! Just found your site today. I have searched before into whether or not I may be an empath.
I actually said to my mother months ago that I thought it could be a possibility. Needless to say she looked at me like I was crazy.
I answered yes to 20 of your questions. I will certainly be purchasing your book Become the Most Important Person in the Room. I would love to be able to control this rather than “medicate” myself to try to block it all.
I have been reading many of your posts here (as well as the comments) and I believe I have found my new favorite site!
MARIA, welcome to Deeper Perception Made Practical. Thanks for all you wrote.
I’m especially pleased you mentioned reading COMMENTS here, because I am so fascinated by comments from the Blog-Buddies here. It is an online community of people who are so diverse, yet share a passion for exploring deeper perception one way or another.
Many here are skilled empaths, too. Be encouraged!
Welcome MARIA and MARIBEL! Wow, this was an old thread, not sure how I missed it.
DAVE, I am in awe that you are 20. Reading your comments over the months, I had always assumed you to be much older you have such a mature perspective.
I so agree with ROSE and with GRACE W. that many issues that you might assume now are connected to being an empath, are actually connected to having stuff in your aura.
I am an empath, and I have worked with and found Rose’s books extremely helpful. But in truth I find that the more sessions of aura healing I’ve had with Rose and the more cords that have been cut, the less necessary it is for me to focus on the techniques in the books.
Have you ever experienced how, when you are in a really good mood it is like nothing sticks to you? Everything that happens in your day may not be pleasant, but you feel too good for it to get you down? That is how life often is for me (two years and 21 cords of attachment removed later).
As for being a sensitive man and having a hard time finding dates…I have a few thoughts about that. First of all, as a lesbian who is every once in a long while attracted to men, sensitive men are the only men I find attractive.
I’m also someone sensitive who was told many times that I am too nice. I understand now that that was unskilled empathy–paying more attention to the other person than I paid to me, really not a comfortable experience for most people.
Beyond that I had so much stuff in my aura–I might as well have been wearing a huge “Kick me” sign. Well, a “Kick me, Keep out, Walk all over me, and It’s never going to work out” sign.
I am still not dating anyone, but something new is happening for me which is that everywhere I go I see people looking at me with appreciation. Noticing me in the first place.
And I’m not embarrassed or surprised by it either, as I once would have been.
Many of the sensitive men I knew in college drank or did way too many drugs. I think it is so impressive that you are finding a different way, and so young.
DAVE, I just picked up this thread again after reading SUZANNE’s comment and realized that you asked a question about the significance of a name change. I guess I got swept up in other threads and somehow didn’t see it. Sorry about that.
I know there are some posts from way back that you might find helpful, in case you haven’t already seen them. You might take a look at the celebrity readings Rose did of some celebs who’d changed their names. Pretty fascinating stuff.
My understanding of it is that, like so many other things in life, the name we have affects our aura. Some names “fit” better and so the aura expands in certain chakra databanks. Basically, our name has an impact on us energetically and that’s what Rose can research.
When she researches a name, she does a baseline reading of a variety of chakra databanks that are significant to you. Then she researches the effect of the name on each of the databanks. Does the databank expand or shrink up and what’s the particular effect?
In my case, I really have experienced a lot of differences since changing my name. I filed the official papers about a year ago, though it didn’t become legal ’till Nov.
People have generally responded to me differently. Just the other day at my health club, the guy checking me in said, “That’s a pretty name.” when I told him my name. I said, “Thanks. I picked it myself.” I went through a phase of feeling a bit shy about doing this unusual thing, so it felt good to be able to say that and feel proud.
As Rose explained in one of these threads, there’s a greater sense of congruence aurically and people sense that. That’s been my experience. Lots of people who don’t really even know me have commented that the name suits me. Even several of my international students who knew me first with my other name. That surprised me, given how traditional many cultures are.
There have been a few older friends/colleagues/acquaintances I’ve told via email whom I never heard back from. Maybe it’s a bit too weird for them; I don’t know. Of course, it symbolizes a big change and for some people, maybe that’s a bit much for them, too big a leap.
But it’s been pleasantly surprising to see how many people seem to have registered at some level the “fit.” Even though I knew about that intellectually, it really surprised me to experience it. I was very shy and apprehensive about taking this leap. I’m not really the type to want to do a big, attention-getting type of thing just for the sake of it. I initially thought changing my first name was an incredibly weird thing to do. But I got over that cultural conditioning.
That is great that your name change has been such a positive experience, GRACE. I have had a couple of friends change their names, although none who did prior aura reading research.
My experience is that, when the new name is a better fit than the old name, it is very easy for other people to accept even if it takes some time to get used to it. When the new name does not seem like a better fit, people always seem to say the name with quotations around it.
Well, that’s how I feel anyway, when I say this one friend’s name. I respect her decision, but the name just doesn’t come naturally when I think about her. My other friend, while I was initially quite resistant to her name change, I now cannot imagine her with her birth name because the new name seems like such a better fit.
I’ve always liked my first name, and feel no desire to change it. I would love to change my last name, if I ever find one that seems to fit. I’m always watching the credits in movies, trying out new last names.
Yes, SUZANNE, I know what you mean about the fit of a name and how we adapt to it. I think my initial resistance came from reactions to what I perceived as, for lack of a better word, the flakiness I sensed in others in making such a big decision. Of course, I do live in the Bay Area, where there’s more of that than in other parts of the country. And so didn’t want to be anywhere near the likes of “Hey, call me ‘Daughter of Light! It’s my new spiritual name…” Egad.
Maybe the intention is good, but it’s too bad that a lot of folks aren’t aware of ways they can do research to find a good fit.
It’s fascinating to see how people respond to the name change topic. The people you mentioned who do the quotation marks things…they’re sensing the lack of fit, yes? People I haven’t heard back from…is it too big and blatant a communication of change?
Isn’t it funny how it’s accepted that actors acquire a stage name, but still perhaps seen as unusual for the rest of us to do something similar?
And about changing your last name…if you’re at all serious about that, I encourage you to schedule a session when the time’s right without waiting to have the name of your dreams in mind. Of course, you do want to have some options, I’ve needed to be reminded a couple of times by Rose that in a session we co-create.
When we researched my biz name, I had what I thought was the perfect name, but it was awful. Sort of came from the wrong place. But working together we found the right name. Same thing with my last name. We ‘found’ it during our work together.
I ran into an acquaintance this past weekend who had changed her name. As soon as she told me her new name I exclaimed “Oh, that fits!”
It really was a delight to be calling her by the new name, which was somehow more memorable and fitting than the old. I was happy for her.
Hi GRACE,
I would imagine that those people, ho never responded to the news of your name change, did so for unrelated reasons. Some people just aren’t good at keeping in touch. It is a pretty big communication of change though.
I lived in an ecovillage. Name changing was quite common due to many people having the same first names. And yes, with people who change their name frequently, or change it to something really woo-woo, there is the perception of flakiness.
But, yes, in my experience a name that fits (as I’m sure yours does) is accepted pretty quickly and later it seems hard to believe there ever was another name.
Thanks for your advice about the last name. I guess I am holding out hope that I will marry a woman and like her last name, or that we will choose one together.
I find myself hesitant to choose a name that belongs to somebody else’s history, with no connection to me at all.
Suzanne
I did name change research with Rose and had a great time. My first name I am happy with so I didn’t research anything there. But I researched different middle and last names, and combinations of those.
It was funny, but the only last name that was a winner was the one that came to me through inspiration. I asked myself what last name might capture the expression of me not just at this point in time but for the future as well. The “Who do I want to be in the future?” name, or the destiny name, if you want to think big. And it just came to me.
The other names I researched were duds. I strained really hard to come up with those names. At one point I was looking through the phone book and getting a headache. So many names that I don’t like!
So it was funny to me that the only name that worked was the one that came through without any effort at all. The who am I in my essence and what am I all about name.
BLAKE, that’s exactly how my middle and last names came to me in the session. Isn’t it an interesting experience to see how easy things can be without all the strain?
“Grace” had been nudging me as a new last name for a while. But that turned out to be a bad choice for a last name for me. My consciousness was basically blocking it as a first name, so when I decided to open to a new last name, then it just came.
Are you going to go ahead and legally change your name?
SUZANNE, lately I’ve been working on my face reading skills by reading “Wrinkles Are God’s Makeup,” and having just learned about my downward-angled mouth, I can see how I’d be likely to have more negative expectations than positive about how the folks I haven’t heard from responded to the name change.
Actually, I had loads of fears about how people would respond, come to think of it, which is why it took me so long to do it. Deeper Perception strikes again!
Connecting more dots….
ROSE, I’m really enjoying my study of face reading. Makes my train rides home more enjoyable. Like a living, breathing face lab for me.
GRACE, it is fascinating to me to see how easy things can be without strain. It’s a little counterintuitive, in that I always think working harder and concentrating more is the answer.
But somehow if I relax and leave my mind open, don’t work so hard, unfocus, unclench, that’s when the really good answers appear. Kind of like a cat sleeping in the sunshine with all the muscles relaxed and maybe a random twitch here or there, LOL. That’s what I aspire to.
I think I will legally change it, but I don’t know when. I don’t look forward to trying to explain it to people at work. I could give the reason that my current name is hard to spell and hard to pronounce, but really I want to change it because it feels outdated, like clothes I wore twenty years ago.
I might save it for my next job transition, as then I could start fresh in a new job with a new name, and fewer explanations to make.
Wonderful news, GRACE W. Face reading is profound but not scary — at least when using the system of Face Reading Secrets(R).
Just as you fought changing your name for a year, because doing so seemed scary, and because you are so gosh darned articulate, I wonder if you can identify any fears around checking out face reading in more depth.
Just curious what you might have feared and how you overcame it.
As for the rest of you Blog-Buddies, have you had trepidation around looking at your face as “meaningful” in terms of physiognomy?
ROSE, I haven’t had any fears about doing face reading. I’ve had both books for a while now and mainly it’s been a matter of fitting in the time to develop that skill set. I find it utterly fascinating. As I’m reading now, I love how, in a way that I love when I’m doing figure drawing, it forces me to really look, to really see what’s going on in a face.
That said, I guess I did have a bit of trepidation in general stemming from comments my feng shui teacher made a couple of years ago about parts of my face. He also teaches face reading, but it’s the much-more-judgmental-Chinese variety. I was so bummed by some things he said to me that I think it put me off the whole topic for a while. He has a way of doing that….But I’ve decided to give it another go and to focus on your system.
I’ve had a bit of time off recently and decided to re-read “Wrinkles Are God’s Makeup.” The only other minor discomfort I’ve felt in the past about plunging into face reading has been a sense of figuring out the different shapes and whatnot out in the real world. For instance, I can look at the drawings of curved, straight and angled chins, but sometimes I find it a bit tricky to discern which is which on people. I think I’m getting it now, or at least I’m not so concerned with trying to be perfect about it.
My decision to go for it anyway in part stems from a burning question I’ve had simmering for a while now… I know that of all the skills of Deeper Perception that you teach, face reading is the one that I can use most easily out in the world as I encounter new people. So I decided it’s time to focus on developing the skill since I’m at a point at which I’m encountering lots of new folks and I really do want to be wise about who I choose to enter into relationship with.
The burning question is more specifically this –
How do you (and actually, I’d be quite curious to hear your answer, Rose, to this question, though the “you” can also be considered How does one”) use your skills of Deeper Perception out in the world in various settings when encountering people you may want to enter into relationship with, whether in a social or business context?
For instance, in my case, when a new semester begins, I encounter a whole new assortment of characters to work with. And I’m starting a new chapter socially. I’ve worked to turn my empath gifts off and to be connected to the reality of what’s going on much more so than in the past. Happy for that progress!
But when I’m meeting new people, I also notice this mild underlying sense of something…frustration? curiosity? not sure how best to describe it…perhaps twitchiness is the best word.
I’d like to be able to use Deeper Perception to see a bit more what’s going on.
So far, of course, I haven’t had the skill to do face reading, though I’m working on it. I’m probably better than I give myself credit for in aura reading, but am not able to do that even in a typical setting for me, which is in a classroom where I’m present and observing the instructor. It just feels too distracting to me to try to do that with other things going on. And I don’t always have a photo to refer to after the fact.
Perhaps this is a topic you address in one of the workshops and isn’t blog-worthy….but I’m one Blog-Buddy who’s really curious about this!
Would you be willing to give an example of how you use the various skills when you’re just out in the world, maybe in a social setting where you’re contemplating initiating a friendship with a new person, or a business setting where you’re deciding whether or not to hire someone?
I know that you’re so skilled at everything you teach that you can most likely do all of that very quickly.
And if the answer is “I talk about this is xyz workshop, so won’t here,” I understand.
BLAKE, the trepidation around work is exactly what I dealt with, too. It was my greatest fear.
I wound up reaching a point at which I just didn’t care any more what people thought about my decision.
Something that was helpful for me in this process was a conversation I had with one of our Enlightenment List ladies, Cayelin Castell (an astrologer). She had changed her name to Cayelin Castell and helped me see that actually it was perfectly fine to tell people whatever reason I wanted to tell them about why I changed my name.
It is actually a rather private choice.
So instead of saying to all of my colleagues that I’d outgrown my old name and that this one was a better fit for me energetically, I told them that my former last name came from an ex-husband and that I’d wanted to change it for ages (true). And that I just liked the new first name better, so decided to do that, too. (true)
I used to get all hung up having to tell “THE TRUTH” about these parts of my life to people who just don’t tend to hang out in those places. But really, I’m fine with just telling them what feels like a truthful enough version for the context we’re in.
My workplace is in San Francisco, so in a way, the joke was on me anyway because basically no one even batted an eye. My Midwestern conventional cultural conditioning was getting in the way and had me all worried.
Telling people actually turned out to be pretty fun and opened up some interesting conversations with people.
Some people I told the whole story to, about the research and all, cause they were very interested. And some may think it’s weird, but no one’s said anything mean or snarky. I really don’t think that’s the case, though. I think most people either really didn’t care or thought it was pretty cool.
I had an interesting experience with someone along the way that was illuminating. She’s very sweet and I’ve often sensed a mild ungroundedness to her. There’s a fair amount of that out in this neck of the woods…
But then she revealed that the name she goes by isn’t her given name. She has to use her given name on work documentation, but goes by the other name and won’t change it,even though she really wants to, cause she thinks her mom would get too mad.
Sure struck me as a way to feel a push-pull energetically, basically going by two different names, with no intention of clearing it up! The name she goes by is a much better fit, too.
Hi, BLAKE. That is really cool how easily your last name came to you and what a great image. I’ll try working less hard to find a name.
GRACE, I always used to have negative expectations about people who did not reply to my communications, although I don’t have a down-angled mouth. But over time, I’ve found that in many cases where I assumed lack of reply meant lack of love, I find later that in fact my news was read with interest and affection, the reader just didn’t find replying to email as easy or automatic a process as I do.
Now in general I just start out with the assumption of a benign reader, happy to hear news.
About face reading, I don’t have any fears about it. I have been far less interested in it than in aura reading, because aura reading brings deeper information. But lately I have been intending to learn more about it, because it is a lot easier to do. I do notice “VERY” features when I see them.
It was very helpful to me to learn about my very low ear position — which means that it takes me a long time to make decisions and I hate to be rushed. Definitely helpful information to have.
GAWRSH, GRACE W., you’d think that I would sometime have written a blog post or 10 about practical ways that I use face reading in everyday life.
You’d think, since I have published four books about it, three of which are still in print, and many of which are in foreign editions.
You’d think, right?
Just in case you ever wondered if I was a great sales person, you’d think, right?
LOL.
I must do a blog post about this next, for sure.
Meanwhile, SUZANNE, your latest comment gives a taste.
On second thought, the next blog post will finish up that Empath Quiz, last questions, so on our sparkling Monday, post hurricane, I can come out with the “Why Do Face Reading?” post.
ROSE, to clarify, I think I get the value of doing face reading in general, though I’m always curious to hear your take on any of the skills. It’s been on my radar to delve into it and as I read your books, I get more and more just how cool it is to know.
What I’m most curious about is how/when/whether/how often, etc., you bring in aura reading and empath merges in practical decision-making in daily life, along with using face reading.
Say you needed to hire a new plumber, for instance. Assuming you first encounter the person in person, would you rely on face reading alone to make your decision? Or would you do aura reading in the person’s presence to do the lie detector test? If your first encounter is a phone call, would you do aura reading?
I’m definitely still learning these various skills and do get how incredibly valuable they are in sorting out practical decisions like hiring, dating, etc. I’m just a bit confused, and like I said, way curious about how literally you tend to use the combination of them, if you do use the combination of them, out in the world in your practical, objective reality daily human life.
Yes, great point, GRACE W. I too would be interested in a blog post on a similar subject about using deeper perception in daily life.
I was in class the other day and my professor, who was a very kindly and nice-seeming woman had 4 or 5 PROMINENT forehead lines – the ones denoting longstanding anger.
It made sense in a way as I observed her demeanor. She had this current of passionate emotion under the surface – fueling her lecture. It seemed that anger fueled her in her professional life.
I think she is nice and a good person, but I know now that she is human and has a human problem of a deepseated anger. That doesn’t mean she will unleash on me, just something to be cognizant of.
She also had a deep and well defined philtrum – signyfying a high sex appeal. She’s not conventionally attractive in the least – and many years older than myself as well – definitely not “my type” – but she has a compelling sexuality. She has an erotic way of moving around the room. (I am laughing at this observation.)
She is an interesting person, and also very mysterious. So, according to just a tiny bit of face reading, she is a woman that harnesses a deep-seated anger in her professional life and also has a strong sex appeal. I’d also like to note that she a large following of students who “loveeee” her classes (I was made privy to this info without consent as I sat in my seat before class and started hearing rave reviews from past students.)
There’s that je se ne quois aspect of her being and she’s also a very effective teacher. I was very enraptured in her lecture towards the end of the period. I’m sure aura reading would illuminate much more than these surface-level observations.
SUZANNE, thank you for the compliment. I’m not exactly 20 but I’m some where between there and 25.
I feel blessed (and not in the Rick Perry way) to have stumbled upon all these rich modalities that have really enriched my life.
I’m excited to continue growing with Cutting Cords of Attachment and Empath Empowerment. The results have been very real so far.
BLOG-BUDDIES who have been in the path Hurricane Irene, I do hope you are well.
Here the storm impact has been of the “Count your blessings variety,” nothing more.
Glad to hear it passed you safely by!
Amanda
GRACE, thanks for your comments. It may be that name changing is actually easier than it seems.
I’ll probably take my time thinking about it, since I have low-set ears too, like SUZANNE. I take my time with decisions!
I think I confounded the last car salesman I dealt with, as he couldn’t understand my need to take time, time, and then more time to consider the purchase. He was grateful when I told him that I’m just one of those people who needs to carefully consider big decisions. Eventually I did buy the car, but I was not a quick sell.
That’s a good point about truth and the level of truthfulness, and finding a response appropriate for the situation.
I live in Virginia and I imagine most people would react with surprise, although not necessarily in a negative way. Probably more in a “I didn’t know you could do that” kind of way.
I have only known a couple of people who have changed their names for reasons other than marriage, so it’s not something I’ve come across much.
But it does seem like the ultimate way to take charge of life, to shape it to my satisfaction.
I have an old friend who once, when I was having trouble at a job and complaining about it to him, said “If you don’t like your job, you know where the door is.”
It was a fantastic thing for him to say and I so appreciated it. It reminded me that I can change things that I don’t like. I can shape life to my satisfaction. I did wind up changing jobs, and by the same token, if I don’t like my name I can change that too.
I think this same friend would be fine with the name change. He might be surprised at first, thinking it drastic, but then would see why I did it. He always used to mildly rib me about my last name anyway, with it being dweeby and more than a little uncool.
BLAKE, after writing that last comment, I got to the low ears part of the book and figured out that mine are low, so I get why, in part, it took me a long time to make that decision. Here’s to low-eared decision-making!
I think a lot of it comes down to deciding how important it is to be different, to stand out in a particular way (the ultimate self-authority) vs. fitting in. But again, you never really know how people will respond. It sure was fascinating to see how much conditioning was in my head.
I wish you well, whatever you decide to do!
Hi Rose, I want to tell you that I bought your book “Empowered by Empathy.”
It has helped me a lot. I understood a lot of things that happened to me and I always wondered why. This test repeats me that I am an Empath, that makes me so happy because now I know that I’m not crazy!!!
Your book is amazing!!
I need an advice from you: The thing is that I can’t turn off completely my empathy, I’ve been practising. There are some times that I can turn it off, but there are others that I can’t.
I’m in school and I start to feel not so well, or there are other times that I get so angry and I don’t know why. In that moment I don’t want anybody to talk to me because when they do that i feel that they invade my aura, and I try to focus and turn off my empathy and look for the person that I’m conecting with but I can’t achieve it.
I hope you can give me some advices or another technique to control my empathy.
Regards from Mexico City!!
!Hola, MARIAN! Glad you wrote and glad you had the line about being from Mexico City. Because the whole time I was reading your comment, it sounded like Espanol to me.
First comment is that, in case you do not know this, three of my books have been translated into Spanish and published by Editorial Sirio:
El Poder de la Empatia
Leer Auras
Leer Rostros
I don’t know how good the translations are but, since Spanish is your more comfortable language, do read El Poder de la Empatia if you can find it.
Next suggestion, MARIAN, is that you read one that is (so far) just in English and Czech: Become the Most Important Person in the Room.
Read that and do the exercises. This will add new cycles of Empath Empowerment.
Finally, please be aware that a person can carry STUFF that interferes with full use of empath abilities.
Including turning gifts OFF.
Many times in sessions with clients, I have been able to help to move out the very personal STUFF of this kind. When you can, please consider doing a phone session with me — if your English is strong enough to do on your own, that would be one way; otherwise you might find a good friend, who can keep things in confidence, who would act as interpreter, and you would make a conference call.
For this, it would be wise to make it a 90-minute session.
I do sessions with others in Mexico and South America and would be very happy to help you, too!
Hope all this helps,
Rose
This is kind of crazy. But i ended up with my “issues” geneticaly. wont go into how or what that genetic lineage was in open chat. but suffice it to say not everyone can control their “Issues” VIA reading a book. and it is nonsensical to say that it will help control it. as well based on one of the earliest posts, i CAN say that there is a connection to ADHD and Empathy. some people will be sent to a shrink by overly worried parents and recieve a misdiagnosis. But i digress.
To say that someone will be able to control their Empathy VIA reading a book makes no sense. yeah some people out there can take a DIY book and follow instructions. but NOT everyone. I myself need hands on instruction to figure anything like that out.
I would also like to say that i feel that EVERYONE is born with some form of Empathic Prowess. Mothers with their children know what is wrong without even seeing or hearing their children, Babies can sense when someone in the room is not safe. That gut feeling in your stomache when you know something is amiss and you are nowhere near where the problem is. Knowing someone is going to call you before you even hear the ringing…..Psychic/Empathic abilities are FAR from rare, we often misconstrue it with saying it was Deja Vous. Or just being overly emotional or a hypochondriac. i PERSONALY ALWAYS know when someone is extremely emotional without being in the same room as them. Happy, Sad, Angry, Vengeful. i can always feel it and it is a REAL PAIN to try and seperate my emotions from someone who i dont even KNOW. I suppose living in a house that has been documented as having spirits is not helping the situation, but again i Digress.
If you wish to helpsomeone with their Empathic Prowess, assuming the person has retained it and UNDERSTANDS what they are going through, there are better ways than to do it with a book. Personally i say we call Chip Coffee if we are confused about what is happening with us. I am personaly tired of being touched, and feeling pain i have no business feeling.
Sincerely yours,
Vikkie.
P.S. i do hope you sincerely know what you are talking about and not just selling a book full of speculations, based on what works for SOME empaths, it would be a real shame for a True Empath to get hurt because you sold them something that makes them feel safe when they really are not.
VIKKIE, you could buy a copy, or request a copy of Rose’s book “Become the Most Important Person in the Room” through your local library and try it yourself.
I disagree that everyone is the same. Not everyone will be an empath, or experience a high degree of empathy with people.
I’ve found it hard to remember not everyone is like me or experiences the world and other people the same way. Sure has caused some confusion for me.
ROSE does offer workshops as well, if you feel you would like more than a book to become a skilled empath. For myself, it’s been very useful. But it sure has been hard to be disciplined and keep to the assignments everyday.
P.S. It does sound like you want to find some solution to picking up other’s people’s feelings at random. Or what Rose calls “being an unskilled empath.”
I think it’s better to find something that’s effective rather than worry about being let down.
Is it normal for an empath to have simultaneous orgasms with a partner?
In response to SUSIE, let’s take a poll!
Well, GRACE S., I notice you didn’t go first with that survey.
The answer to your question, SUSIE, begins with whether you are female or male.
Male empaths are wired to be Numero Uno. Even if that male empath ordinarily does a lot of Skilled Empath Merge, or unskilled empath merge, at that particular moment the empath is likely to NOT be doing an empath merge.
It is the ongoing love affair with sexual energy in which men specialize.
During the lovemaking, if it has really been making love (and not simply a convenient episode of “having sex) the male empath may have done a great deal of empath merging.
Even a non-empath would have done the closest equivalent to an empath merge.
But not during that “Here I shoot out into big space, one with the universe, woweee!” experience of an orgasm in a male body.
What about my research into orgasmic experiences of women? Disclaimer, I’m using a small research sample for this comment, as for the last one.
Pulling out energetic holograms of such events is not how I spend most of my professional time, I assure you.
Still, SUSIE has asked a good question.
It is possible for a female empath to have simultaneous orgasms during sex. One reason has nothing to do with being an empath.
Some partners, especially male ones (if indeed a man is involved in the particular lovemaking) are very skilled at pacing the process.
But what you are inquiring about, SUSIE, sounds from your question more like a pattern YOU have, regardless of the lover.
And such a pattern would more likely be due to YOUR emphasis in consciousness while you are making love. Apart from the usual connectedness to your lover, are you mostly paying attention to the lover rather than yourself?
This isn’t unusual for a talented empath who is still learning how to get skilled.
It is quite possible to have the partner’s orgasm trigger your own. And this would seem just about simultaneous.
IF you find yourself in this category, SUSIE and other Blog-Buddies, you might want to experiment in the direction of being a fully skilled empath, even while enjoying love with a partner.
You might find it very helpful, for your personal development, to sometimes put attention on YOURSELF, right when it seems as though orgasm for either of you is immanent. Good practice for you!
Rose:
I have always been a walking emotional nightmare, a sensitive nightmare and a relationship nightmare (except for with my daughters). And, even though I’ve always had much sympathy and empathy for others, I have almost no friends, and NO close friends. Holidays and birthdays are horrible, and the second I go anywhere, all I can think of is “when can I leave?” I eat to medicate and I medicate (drugs – OTC/Prescription) to escape from my madness and get through the days.
I’m also an alcoholic but don’t drink anymore. I lost the business that I had owned to alcohol, poor decision making and to all the energy I expended trying to help my employees and being very supportive and understanding of their needs (at the expense of my needs and the needs of the business). Strangely, how I felt that they did not reciprocate in like fashion. At the time, I thought that I simply wasn’t a good manager of people. Maybe I’m not.
In 2005, I got in a wreck and killed someone. It was, and continues to be, awful because of all the pain and suffering that I inflicted on so many others. I feel their grief too acutely. I’ve always felt for others, but as I get older it has become more burdensome. Most movies or shows that I watch that have tragedy, brings me to tears. Some programs, I simply can not watch.
For years, I’ve thought “what in God’s name is wrong with me?” Rarely in my past was peace to be found within me. My depression and anxiety have worsened over the years to the point that I worry if I can go on. Interestingly, though, the two years I spent in prison after my accident, were two of the best years of my life – in order to survive in prison, one is forced to forget about everything beyond the prison walls. There have been times when I have actually wanted to go back to prison. (I also had some very strange “psychic like” experiences while in prison). Ask me, and I’ll tell.
Since my release, life has become increasingly more difficult and my depression has worsened. Three winters ago, a darkness so complete and void of any light, enveloped me. I’ve always had trouble during winter, but this was a different beast altogether. It was foul and perhaps the scariest experience of my adult life. If I didn’t know any better (and I don’t), I’d say there were demonic influences involved. The last two winters were difficult, but not nearly as so.
I’ve said little, if any, of all that I have told you to no one (or anything to anyone about my life at all). I simply have never known how to do so, and I’m just not a complainer. Recently, I happened across the term “empathy.” I’ve since taken several online tests (answered yes to all of your questions) and have repeatedly scored very high. This comes as a complete shock. I’ve always felt “different”, but never known why.
What do I do now that I’ve been enlightened? I realize that I can’t blame everything negative in my life on being an empathy (if that is what I am). I mean I can be impulsive, and I know that I’ve made some poor decisions. But maybe I’m on to something. Could this be the first chord of a new song………………!
Larry
LARRY, welcome to the blog. You might wish to start with “Become the Most Important Person in the Room.” (In the U.S. and Canada, there’s a 24 hour tollfree orderline, 800-345-6665.)
You might also consider doing a phone session of Energy Spirituality, to move some of the STUFF out of your aura.
Be patient with yourself through all this. Evidently hat new song is beginning.
Hello,
I’ve just read your book, “Empowered by Empathy,” Rose. What a complete revelation, I am so happy you wrote this book. I’ve spent most of my life wondering what is “wrong” with me – why am I so sensitive, how is it that I’m picking up other people’s emotions (and yuck!)
Now I know all this stuff is what’s “right” about me! Just gorgeous, for the first time in I can’t remember how long I feel comfortable and happy in my own skin.
It has restored my confidence and trust in myself…. and finally I’m in control of what’s happening.
I do have a question, though: from the time I was a small child, I used my empath gifts as protection against a hostile family. Of course, this continued into adulthood, on autopilot.
With a few people (all male, all people I’ve never met before), I’ve found they sensed that I was scanning them, and got a nasty response. This happened before I understood what I was doing, and at the time I felt, ooh yuck, don’t want to know about their feelings. And also, I felt bad for being so intrusive.
So what is this? I’ve lived most of my adult life in the UK, and returned to the US in 2008. I never once had an experience like this overseas.
Thanks for your thoughts!
And best wishes for the Holiday Season.
Keep well, Kate
Hey Rose,
Thanks for this quiz, I really like it, and I usually don’t like quizzes. But this one clarified things for me, so thanks again.
I have always been deeply affected by people around me, and I remember going to meet groups of young people in my own age, and when I got home I almost always felt this wave of anxiety, and I could never figure out what it was. I’ve always felt the need to analyze every social gathering I’ve been in, what I said, what they said, everything…as if I did something wrong or upset someone. I still don’t fully know who I am, but I recognize it’s a journey that I have started.
So many things in this quiz really helps, even though I’ve suspected for a while now that I’m an Empath – but for me ‘feeling someone elses emotions’ doesn’t really describe it, because I can rarely tell what emotions I am feeling, only that I am feeling very strong waves of _something_.
However, I am starting to realize I know more than I _know_, if that makes sense…
What you have said makes total sense, NEA. You are so welcome.
What is your next step, now that you know you are an empath? Knowing this is where some people stop, but you deserve better. Become a skilled empath!
Simplest, most cost-effective method if you’re going to study with me is the $15 treat, “Become the Most Important Person in the Room.”
You can even read a sample chapter before ordering. Go to the “Official Rose Rosetree Website” http://www.rose-rosetree.com and click on the book cover….
It is really, truly a waste of time to care which emotions or other experiences you have from others. Don’t pause to label them in any way, or sort through them. Instead, learn how to use consciousness in an effortless way to turn your gifts OFF most of your waking hours.
Then a skilled empath turnst gifts ON for a very short period of time, preferably using an official technique, such as many techniques I teach for doing Skilled Empath Merge. And always and only on purpose!
You’re on your way, NEA. Thanks for writing.
Thanks Rose for this quiz.
I had no idea that I was an empath, but I always knew that I was emotionally connected to people and felt their pain or happiness intensely and could be affected by people easily. I mostly just thought I was “too sensitive.” Eventually, I just accepted that I was sensitive and that I would need to find work that suited my personality.
I worked in three dysfunctional work environments, and boy, was that challenging. I had really challenging bosses who were perfectionists and strict and coworkers who were very challenging to work with and overwhelming (This is a nice way of putting it). Anyway, I wish I had your book then to have known what I know now. But I just recently ordered your books on empathy, and thank God they exist. You are doing a great job here.
I recently have done three cord attachment releases, and one of them has really changed my energy. That cord attachment was influencing me to lose trust in myself. The way that I handle things is to ask why this or it’s important to find a way to heal this or that. I ask God out loud, with passion, emotion, and intensity, and thank God, I found your books. They are really healing me and helping me.
Love
Veronica
This could also explain all the anxiety I’ve experienced throughout my life. The depression as well as many other things. I’ve been able to heal myself, but it’s good to know a lot of that anxiety was coming from other people.
I’m looking forward to getting your books!
Also looking forward to ordering a cord release session on my dad. That will really heal me alot!
Veronica
I answered yes to every question, lol v.v gah, empathy, gotta love it eh.
DOMINA LOVE, gotta love it, gotta train it. Welcome to the blog with your two comments.
VERONICA, congratulations on doing so well. I write books like “Cut Cords of Attachment” to help someone like you.
Not that there is anyone exactly like you.
Lol, too many things of course. However the looking in the mirror initially did not make sense & then I reread. Totally. YES!! I catch myself looking into the mirror often, checking in – into the eyes & wondering is that really me there? Is this what I look like. What’s going on inside there? How funny.