Do You Have the Right to Your Pain?
September 12th, 2009 by Rose Rosetree
Blog-Buddies, I wonder how many of you can relate to a question Andrew emailed me yesterday:
I have done some group inner child sessions – I always tell people that I had a happy childhood and was quite a happy child. I have been quite shocked at the dreadful stories some people recount of their I think I turned out not too bad and have a lot to be grateful for and thankful. I mean there is no such thing as a perfect parent.
So I think I have this syndrome of ‘ I have no right to need healing or energy therapy because many other people have had a lot worse experiences than me and anyway I doubt I could have done a much better job of parenting anyway’.
Andrew has had sessions of Energy Spirituality with me, including the removal of some very horrible Cords of Attachment. But he’s right. Horrible though they were, they didn’t involve his being physically beaten, starved, burned as a witch, etc.
HOW BAD IS BAD?
Nevertheless, for answering Andrew’s question, here’s a clue. He also writes:
My sister, on the other hand, is angry at everyone.
If you’ve been reading this blog much, or you have had me facilitate Cutting Cords of Attachment for you in a session (see LINKS), you know about STUFF.
This is my “technical term” for astral debris, specifically pain and fear etc. STUFF that gets stuck in a person’s aura and subconscious mind. STUFF can always be healed. That’s the whole purpose of techniques of Energy Spirituality like Cutting Cords of Attachment.
Once the STUFF has lodged in your aura, it’s too late to consider whether or not you have the right to feel bad. Healing is in order.
But I believe I can understand Andrew’s question. He is someone who is healing STUFF. He knows it can be healed and has already healed a lot of it, with results that he appreciates.
All this is quite clear to him. Yet, intellectually, he’s still puzzled. Why did that STUFF get into me? Was I some kind of spiritual and emotional weakling? Could I, gasp!, be a plonker?
So I’m going to share with you one of the chapters from my daybook, Let Today Be a Holiday: 365 Ways to Co-Create with God. If you wish, comment away to share your reaction.
“Oh, things haven’t been that bad.” It may seem to you that you’ve never suffered, not when compared to people you know whose lives have really been hell.
Now hear this. You still have the right to your pain Dramas recounted by people you know, or blown up extra-big on TV, can distort self-assessment.
Back in childhood, what if your neighbor was raped, whereas you only had to wait many years too long to receive your first kiss? What if last year your best friend had a breakdown, whereas you just went through a tough couple of months, supposedly no big deal?
Well, you still have the right to acknowledge your pain. Thoroughly perfect lives seldom happen. If you feel that you’ve suffered, you’re not making it up, nor are you necessarily whining. Before you came into this life, you had attained a certain vibration of consciousness. All your suffering has been exquisitely calibrated to match this vibration.Picture this as a car driving down life’s highway at a certain speed. At a lower speed (corresponding to a lower spiritual vibration), it would take a big pothole to jolt that car. But at a faster pace (corresponding to a very high spiritual vibration), even one tiny bump could set off a huge reaction.Somebody else might call that bump a nothing, but what matters is the impact it had upon you. Comparing yourself to others is never a good idea, spiritually. Let assessing your life become a case in point. Minimizing your pain will only slow down your healing.
Whatever your life is like now, whatever happened to you earlier, you can count plenty of blessings. Gratitude moments, taken each day, can help you to find yet more good things. And you can ask God for even more of them, heaping blessing upon blessing.
But you also have a right to your pain. Acknowledge it honestly and you won’t feel foolish asking for help with that, too.
![[del.icio.us]](http://images.del.icio.us/static/img/delicious.small.gif){kind=small}
Thank you so much for that blog entry. It really rings true with me.
I remember one time that I went to see a new therapist about my recurring depression. I guess he didn’t understand about the different sensitivities of people. He told me that he did sessions with people in nursing homes and that they had it much worse than me so I really shouldn’t be so depressed.
Literally speaking, it was true that my external circumstances were not as severe as that. Nevertheless, after that meeting I went home and cried my eyes out.
I quickly changed to another therapist who didn’t add another layer of guilt and pain to the one I already had. Only recently have I been able to look back on that experience with forgiveness and understanding on my part.
I especially liked your analogy of the car and the pothole. It validates what I knew in my heart but was denied by others and by the nagging thoughts in my head.
WHATEVER the circumstances, the pain you feel is the pain you feel. In my case it was bad enough for me to want to be dead. That’s no small amount of pain. I want to let everyone out there know that only YOU know what your pain is. By denying it, you can’t do anything to heal it.
I am so grateful that I continued to seek out help for my pain and didn’t let it destroy me. Today, I feel like a different person (virtual reincarnation a la Rose) due to the healing, growth and love I have experienced. I wish that joy for everyone.
CHERYL, thanks so much for sharing that. I was moved. And you may have helped many of our Blog-Buddies with this share.
Thanks Rose for this explanation. I liked the car analogy too.
On reflection, I realise that I never really got over another significant part of my stuff (after the cord was cut) until I agreed to take full responsibility for it. That took quite a profound insight on the direction my life was heading. Although some might could argue chickens and eggs, when I decided the outcome came first, I was happy to ‘accept’ responsibility for this wounding.