On reflection, I realise that I never really got over another significant part of my stuff (after the cord was cut) until I agreed to take full responsibility for it. That took quite a profound insight on the direction my life was heading. Although some might could argue chickens and eggs, when I decided the outcome came first, I was happy to ‘accept’ responsibility for this wounding.

I remember one time that I went to see a new therapist about my recurring depression. I guess he didn’t understand about the different sensitivities of people. He told me that he did sessions with people in nursing homes and that they had it much worse than me so I really shouldn’t be so depressed.

Literally speaking, it was true that my external circumstances were not as severe as that. Nevertheless, after that meeting I went home and cried my eyes out.

I quickly changed to another therapist who didn’t add another layer of guilt and pain to the one I already had. Only recently have I been able to look back on that experience with forgiveness and understanding on my part.

I especially liked your analogy of the car and the pothole. It validates what I knew in my heart but was denied by others and by the nagging thoughts in my head.

WHATEVER the circumstances, the pain you feel is the pain you feel. In my case it was bad enough for me to want to be dead. That’s no small amount of pain. I want to let everyone out there know that only YOU know what your pain is. By denying it, you can’t do anything to heal it.

I am so grateful that I continued to seek out help for my pain and didn’t let it destroy me. Today, I feel like a different person (virtual reincarnation a la Rose) due to the healing, growth and love I have experienced. I wish that joy for everyone.