INFP Starflower began this guest post on our perennial topic of The Anorexic Ideal. Every so often, this topic springs up like a bold Earth-Flower. The topic springs up due to aura reading, and not necessarily on purpose.
One way that women’s lives can benefit from energetic literacy? Soon as you start reading chakra databanks of glam folks who self-starve, a stark truth will present itself to your perception.
Most healthy women are not built like a coat hanger.
What about the Barbie dolls some of us played with in childhood? Barbies are not anatomically realistic, let alone appropriate role models.
Being reminded of that stark truth happened here at the blog recently. Innocently enough, I was doing routine reading of contest entries for our recent Empath Contest Where Everybody Can Win.
Aware just of doing one of the standard techniques in Aura Reading Through All Your Senses(R), I was talent scouting for empaths, checking out the admirable, accomplished former super-model who has gone on to do additional fascinating, meaningful things with her life.
I was thinking Christy Turlington Burns, not intentionally doing detective work about Yet More Famous People Who Starve Their Bodies in Order to Look Attractive. A.k.a. what I call “The Anorexic Ideal.”
Note: Bemoaning The Anorexic Ideal, or outing a secretly anguished Root Chakra databank that screams “Feed me,” I am making no medical diagnosis. I’m not a professional physician, just someone with Stage Three Energetic Literacy, the kind anyone can have. The kind YOU can have, Blog-Buddies, since evidently you are capable of reading this screen. And if you can manage Gutenberg-style literacy, you sure can learn a skill set to do the aura kind as well.
So there it screamed out, with Deeper Perception. Blaring like an ambulance siren or a stifled shriek of habitual anguish. Ignored, based on the expression of glamorous Christy. But not ignorable by me.
Therefore, I noted this startling fact in Comment 44. Then I asked, “Why, oh why, do women latch onto The Anorexic Ideal and keep on living that way?” Here are two responses that moved me so much, I have elevated them into a guest post, adding just headings, minor copy edits, and the occasional link.
First up, INFP STARFLOWER.
Anorexia? Been there, done that. I do understand.
“Why, oh why, do women latch onto The Anorexic Ideal and keep on living that way?”
For me, it was because I wanted so much to be beautiful.
For some reason, (STUFF, most likely,) I equated being beautiful with being loved. And I wanted more than anything to be loved.
People don’t normally tell me that I’m beautiful.
But I hear all the time about how skinny women are beautiful. I just assumed I wasn’t beautiful because I wasn’t thin enough.
Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, maybe, but that was how I felt. I know that “Everybody is not ‘just like me’,” but I think there are probably many women who can relate to this.
What does “Beautiful” mean, anyway?
Aura Reader by Night’s part of this guest post begins right here, Blog-Buddies.
I wanted to respond to the INFP Starflower in Comment #45, which was very touching and struck a chord with me.
The social conditioning for women to be thin in Western society is huge. Unfortunately, my understanding is that with the dominance of Western social media, this conditioning is now spreading to other parts of the world.
I am naturally thin, though not anorexic. I also happen not to be white.
When growing up, for many reasons, I equated “beautiful” with “being white.”
I once went to a workshop with an extremely intelligent and perceptive life coach, GLADYS, who does happen to fit the traditional (stereotypical?) American ideal of female beauty.
GLADYS also suffered from anorexia in the past.
One comment from her made a lasting impression on me. GLADYS said that, having worked with many beautiful female clients, many of them had deep insecurities of not being really loved for who they are but rather loved as an object of beauty.
Since beauty does eventually fade (no matter how much plastic surgery or Botox one gets), the insecurity can be profound.
Beauty is transient. It is also in the eye of the beholder.
This beholder has developed more sympathy about The Anorexic Ideal
I didn’t have much sympathy for the comment that life coach GLADYS made at the time (just as I didn’t have much empathy for women who are considered beautiful by society, not at the time).
Fast forward years later…
I can share with you two recent experiences that I’ve had.
Dating a fine-looking, thin OBJECT
My first experience happened like this. I was sitting in my car in the parking lot of a grocery store.
A stranger knocked the car window. Then he asked me out on a date.
The second incident happened while I was at the auto shop, waiting for my car to be repaired. Another man approached me for a date. He gave me his telephone number.
I had never met either of these men before.
Now the life coach’s comment made sense to me. Was I flattered by either man’s admiration of my physical attributes? No, I was creeped out.
Their admiration was hardly based on Deeper Perception
Here’s why creeped out: These men don’t know me!
And I’m pretty darn sure they weren’t doing aura reading.
Even if they were, human skills in the manner of social etiquette do matter when approaching a total stranger.
My lasting impression from this experience — and from the life coach’s share — is that people want to be loved and respected for who they really are on the inside.
When people can discover and know your personal who-you-be, the real you, then the admiration isn’t about being an object of the appropriate size.
When your admirer actually knows you, then you can tell that you are being valued for your true beauty.