Declaring Honesty. Make Today YOUR Independence Day.

Declaring Honesty
Declaring Honesty? Now that takes courage + restraint + true independence.

Declaring Honesty. In preparation for America’s Independence Day tomorrow…

How about making your own personal Declaration of Honesty? Maybe you’ve already begun this kind of personal declaration. Otherwise you could begin on this very day.

Warning: Appropriate honesty takes independence! But I know you’ve got that, Blog-Buddies. Plus living your truth — appropriately — is a powerful way to encourage spiritual awakening. In yourself and in others.

Declaring Honesty. Despite Social Expectations

Today’s post is dedicated to a couple of comments at this blog months ago:

  • Gladys: “It’s generally polite to smile even when you don’t want to sometimes.”
  • Joe: “You know how your eyes change when you genuinely smile? Mimic that without smiling as you go out through your day and you may notice your whole persona change.”

What a lot of hooey! That whole “Fake it till you make it” type of advice would be enough to make me groan… if I let it. Instead I’ll redirect that emotion into the rest of this blog post.

Experimentation is worthwhile, of course. Any experimentation. Even with unsightly expressions designed to manipulate others.

Experimentation is the glory of Earth School, isn’t it?

We’re free to experiment however we like. Afterwards we do get consequences, though. Well, it is a Learning Planet.

And you can be sure of this, Blog-Buddies who experiment — one way or another — every single day: Lying isn’t good for anyone. Not long-term and usually not short-term either.

Honesty Shows in a Smile.

After all, can’t you tell a fake smile?

Here are three articles to tell you from different angles, ha ha! What you have already (no doubt) figured out for yourself:

  1. 3 Easy Ways To Spot Genuine & Fake Smiles
  2.  BBC – Science & Nature – Human Body and Mind – Spot The Fake Smile
  3. A neurologist explains how to spot a fake smile – Business Insider

Declaring Honesty? Admittedly, Not Always Easy.

Good manners are the healing balm of social relationships. Honesty can be blended beautifully into all that goo.

At least, most of the time, honesty can be perfectly compatible with good manners.

Blog-Buddies, sometimes I struggle with blunt communication, especially when very angry. Conveniently or not, the honesty can (for me) sometimes outweigh any sweetness and light.

But guess what? When I do communicate some sweetness, or praise, or gratitude; or when I flash somebody a smile… it’s authentic. Independently given, free and clear.

How do you manage that balancing act? Any human stories to tell?

The Most Important Knowledge I Can Share about Declaring Honesty

Can you guess? It’s avoiding a fairly common form of fakery — one of life’s poignant alternatives to declaring honesty.

Here are two hints: This knowledge can help you with spiritual awakening and also safeguard your health.

Okay, wait for it…

Avoid cheerfulness.

Avoid it like the plague.

Actually, I’m not aware of any actual plagues in America, at least nothing like the Bubonic variety of yore.

However, I’ve had several clients who used to do cheerfulness. And it hurt them. Until they learned to avoid it. To just not bother pretending to be cheerful.

And, yes, self-pity doesn’t happen once the big, fake mask of cheerfulness slips. A person shows up. Just a human person.

Cheerfulness Isn’t Merely a Lie. It Hurts the Liar, Too.

If you develop Stage Three Energetic Literacy, you’ll find cheerfulness easily enough. And then read the trickle-down effect into a person’s chakra databanks.

Cheerfulness is just plain dreadful.

Two clients I’m thinking of now have learned to stop that fake cheerfulness. And their lives are much better for the change.

Even though they undertook the cheerfulness for a variety of motives. Some of which even seemed virtuous, even laudable:

  • Like how to take care of a beloved dying mother and hide the pain… in order to carry on.
  • Or how to be a good boy who was hiding family secrets, like physical abuse.

Independence from Cheerfulness Can Help a Lot

Because lying to yourself or others won’t really help anything.

My one brush with attempting cheerfulness met with a minor miracle. Of sorts.

Back in the day, my family was getting together in memory of my father, Ernie. Recently deceased. He’d had an especially horrible last year at the hospital, dying in his early 50’s and dying by degrees.

So there I was, acting cheerful and stalwart. As if “Yeah, my favorite member of the family has slowly slipped from life and now he’s finally gone, but hey, life goes on. No biggie.”

At a certain point, all of us stood in a driveway. I went to open up the garage door. And then for some mysterious reason (perhaps an angel or maybe due to my sheer spaciness at the time) one of my fingertips got caught in the slats of that garage door. (A pretty hard thing to do, not that I recommend you try it. Ever.)

Immediately my uncle came to my rescue. Stanley Kephart, he was another of my favorite relatives, and he outlived my Dad by many decades. Typically, he knew just what to do. Bless his kind heart, Stan was an Eagle Scout, and quick on his feet.

Deftly he opened up that door, releasing my finger. Then he looked at my face just long enough to make eye contact, a kind of unsentimental recognition. Nothing pushy from his side, and definitely nothing cheerful.

Instantly my emotions (and facial expression) changed completely. From frozen in cheerfulness. And frozen in denial.

And then baffled by unexpected physical pain…

To a very young woman’s feelings, a girl’s feelings really, the face of a grieving daughter whose tears finally began to flow. And whose face began working again.

Yes, One of Life’s Miracles. For Me.

Because that day in 1973 (approximately) is the last time I have ever, ever tried to act cheerful.

That tiny event — so forgettable to others — is something I’ll never forget emotionally.

Since then I’ve become living proof that a person can have an extremely good life without ever giving a fake smile. Or manipulating a “persona.” Or pretending, ever, to be cheerful.

Friends, give me honest grief any time. Or embarrassment. There’s no shame in vulnerability.

Seems to me, humbling and human emotions like that… are the real opposite of cheerfulness.

11 thoughts on “Declaring Honesty. Make Today YOUR Independence Day.”

  • 1
    Sandra says:

    So inspiring and freeing!

    Thank you so much for sharing this.

  • 2
    Liane says:

    To the core, that’s how this post hit me. I am blunt and honest. It often comes off as being crasss and harsh. Unsensitive.

    In fact I’m overly sensitive but don’t have it in me to b.s. my way through conversation or life.

  • 3
    Liane says:

    The honesty part is easy.

    I do catch myself once in a while being fakey cheerful, thinking it’s the polite way to be for that moment.

  • 4
    Liane says:

    Thing is, I notice.

    So it shouldn’t be too difficult to notice then tell myself to knock it off.

    Learning that it does more harm than good is like being set free a little bit more.

  • 5
    Lo says:

    This is awesome for me to hear. I grew up in a family where you were not allowed to be sad and if you were you were ignored by everyone else around you.

    I learned pretending to be cheerful as a way to stay a part of the group. So good to hear that it isn’t necessary to hide behind a stupid grin when inside I’m not grinning!

  • 6
    Rose Rosetree says:

    LO and LIANE, I’m so touched by your comments. What wonderful evolution — powered by your free will!

  • 7
    Explorer says:

    Its so validating to hear you say these words Rose.

    I’ve been told that I’ve a bad poker face. They didn’t mean it a compliment but I took it as one.

  • 8
    Explorer says:

    Coming from mid Europe to North America, where smile and giggle are almost an expected form of communication it was puzzling to adapt to it at first and still maintaining to be true to myself.

    When I tried to fit the norm and be all bubbly and cheerful, I failed miserably and felt very burnt out by the end of the day.

  • 9
    Explorer says:

    Through experience, I realized that people respond to my genuine but not animated smile better than a forced big cheerful greeting.

    Knowing how to act and what’s expected in different settings is a delicate balance but living in an authentic state is so empowering and freeing.

  • 10
    Explorer says:

    I have more energy and mental stamina to actually live and be when I’m not pretending anything (even if it was to be polite at a social setting.)

  • 11
    Rose Rosetree says:

    Thought-provoking AND inspiring, both.

    Thank you for sharing this with us, EXPLORER.

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