Can you spot a player?

The failed romance wouldn’t die.

Many a client can’t understand why the memory of that frustrating encounter keeps coming back again and again.

Here is an example of a session I did with “Gladys” over her very brief relationship with “Joe.” Are there sometimes similar problems with “Joe” over “Gladys”? (Or Joe and Joe?) (Or Gladys and Gladys?) Definitely. And relationship problems can be especially confusing when one of the partners is a player.

Players

What is a “player? It’s someone who knowingly plays games, whether a confidence artist or a sexual preditor or some other manipulative kind of person.

As you may have noticed, they don’t come with labels. So enter Energetic Literacy, and the very human ability to read auras in depth and detail.

By doing aura reading research, it becomes possible to find out who is lying, who is manipulating, who is absolutely sincere.

Cutting cords of attachment goes beyond the realm of reading into the realm of healing. You can find many articles at this blog about the skill set I call 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment(R). In today’s post, you’ll find a detailed example as well.

Gladys had a very brief relationship with Joe. They met online.

He seemed sweet, and very popular, with many friends on Facebook. A good-looking guy, he flirted through emails and then made a date to visit in person.

Attractive and charming though he was, something about him bothered Gladys. She held off on kissing… or more.

By the end of the visit, Joe talked about what a great time he had spent with her and promised to call very soon for a follow-up date.

Weeks passed. He never called. Or explained.

Months later, Joe sent an email, friendly and fun. It was as if nothing was amiss. As though back at Square One, he suggested  they get together again.

How can energetic literacy help you to deal with a possible player?

Gladys couldn’t get Joe out of her mind. So she set up a session of Aura Reading Research. She knew that, when we’re in session by phone or in person, I can read any chakra databank in anyone you have ever known at any time you have been with that person face-to-face or voice-to-voice.

(Technical point: Years ago, I did Aura Reports from photos, but have discontinued them. Instead, one can do a session like the kind Gladys had, 55 minutes of conversation, where no photos are needed and I can answer questions. Big improvement over the simple reports. The only type of report I give from photos any more would be the Face Reading Reports that you can find details about at my website.)

Research on Joe, from that one-time meeting, revealed a very human combination of being smart and sexy and fun but also being manipulative, with very little integrity.

Joe’s version of being a player involved being out for money. His interest in sex wasn’t great. Instead, it felt sexy/exciting to him when he could bag a new woman and add her to his collection. And if he could benefit financially from the relationship in some way, so much the better.

Gladys found this helpful because the description of him rang true. Yet she still kept asking, “Why can’t I forget him?”

And the answer for this was simple. One way to put it is this:

A reading is not a healing.

Aura reading research, much as I like it, doesn’t free up a person energetically. For that, a person needs aura healing.

Cord of attachment? You bet.

Gladys had a cord of attachment to Joe. Of course! That was why she couldn’t just put him out of her mind. Checking with the “Yuckiness Index,” I found that Gladys definitely had a cord of attachment to him, that it was worth cutting, and that we had permission to remove it. So…

We shifted into a session of Aura Healing and Transformation.

At first, Gladys didn’t understand how she could possibly have a cord to this man. She hadn’t slept with him, had only met him once. Come on!

In previous sessions, I had facilitated cutting her cord of attachment to both parents. Now those she could understand having! But to silly, slightly slimy Joe?

I had to remind Gladys about how cords of attachment are formed. Right from the moment when you first become interested in a person, two energetic structures are created.

• A spiritual tie, that records any enjoyable and/or evolutionary aspect of the relationship.
• A cord of attachment, that recycles toxic energies within you 24/7, usually until the last minutes of your life — regardless of whether there is sex, or even a second real-time conversation.

Gladys’ cord of attachment to a player

In case you’re interested, here is my transcript of the cord items. These items of cord dialogue come from a cord of attachment that no longer exists. Short versions of dialogue like this can be found in my how-to book “Cut Cords of Attachment.” But I had to choose short ones for that book. This sample is a more average length for a typical cord of attachment.

The set of cord items was put down during that first (and only) date.

1. GLADYS: Wishing for a man to love.
2. Feeling lonely and socially isolated.
3. Curious about what Joe will be like in person, after all the emails etc.
4. Hopeful that, with all the healing I’ve done, Joe could be a reward for me, a really good love relationship at last.
5. JOE: Flattering words.
6. Flattering looks.
7. GLADYS: Feeling a sexual thrill.
8. He is definitely interested in me.
9. JOE: Talking away.
10. GLADYS: Feeling the familiar thrill of having a man interested in me.
11. A comfortable resonance with my other cords of attachment (to various lovers).
12. Wait, something isn’t right.
13. I can feel that he is a liar. (Quickly putting this insight into denial.)
14. JOE: More interest emanating from him.
15. GLADYS: I want a relationship so much.
16. I’m prepared to overlook any complaints, if only he’s nice to me.
17. JOE: I’ll be in touch with you!

If you can’t stop thinking about a certain someone, don’t make the mistake of thinking your best recourse is just to think about it.

“If I only understood why I can’t seem to shake this relationship. What lesson is there for me?”

As a person, I sympathize. As a healer, I can’t think of a bigger waste of time. Problems like these involve STUFF, stuck energy at the level of auras. Get skills to do that in an effective manner, or find a practitioner who does. It could make all the difference in the world.

Got divorce in your past? How about shame in your present?

And how much of this goop shows in your aura?

Today, we begin with a Guest Post from Blog-Buddy David: 

I am a divorced man, for about three years, who has recently come out of hiding. I hid this successfully from even my close contacts. It was easy to hide, as I have custody of my son.

Recently, I shared that I am divorced at a Toastmasters workshop. The speech was entitled “Divorced and Hiding It.”

Well, it was a bit surprising to them that I was divorced.

The talk bought out the best of me and showed me that it is okay to have human failings. Aren’t we supposed to be perfect?

Before this talk, my speeches came across cerebral. Like a robot. I am going to work on showing my vulnerable side. After sharing what it is like for me, being divorced, I got positive feedback. And maybe a possible date.

Does marital status show in your aura?

Expect no astral-level wedding ring. When your possible date Pat is married but cheating, you’re more likely to find a no-suntan line beneath that taken-off-wedding ring. Still, the intent to cheat does show on the level of auras.

And, fortunately for those of us living in the Age of Internet, aura reading can be done very conveniently and discretely from regular photos. You can check out Pat’s picture at leisure before deciding about that proposed date.

All three aura reading lie detector tests (the ones you can learn to do from Aura Reading Through All Your Senses) can cause you to say no to Pat’s kind and seductive invitation.  Should integrity matter to you, aura reading for integrity is one of the most useful ways to screen a new date.

I’m also a big fan of — dare I say it? — previewing what Pat is like as a lover. Everyone past puberty contains a belly chakra databank that I call “Being a Lover.” Using basic skills of energetic literacy, you can always get both types of information from a person’s chakra databanks:

• Gifts of the soul — what the person does beautifully, innate talent that nobody needs to work to “develop,” permanent 
• STUFF — stored-up fear, pain, resentment, and other debris; emotional or spiritual goop; structural or chemical problems at the level of auras.

Information in auras can never be hidden. Not from a reasonably skilled aura reader. And man oh man, I sure wish I had done a sexual preview of Rose Rosetree’s Husband #2. This would have prevented Rose Rosetree’s Divorce #2.

Happily, I eventually found Rose Rosetree’s Husband #3, whose aura could pass the most demanding sniff test. We’ll celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary in a couple of months.

Feeling like damaged goods

Although marriage and divorce don’t show in obvious ways, at the level of auras, STUFF can definitely show. And be healed.

STUFF creeps up on us, whether or not that lover is eventually outed as “A creep.” Major STUFF is especially likely to be present in your cord of attachment to the lover. For instance, you’re likely to have a very major cord of attachment to:

• Anyone you have sex with
• Every major crush, whether or not the love was required.
• Unusual kinds of sexual contact can leave very intense cords. Recently, in the same day, I helped Gladys release forever the cord from giving her first blow job. And then, later, I helped Josephine release forever the cord to a man who molested her when she was only five years old.

Whatever gets stuck in a cord of attachment repeats 24/7 in your aura and subconscious mind. Fortunately, it is very possible to permanently remove any cord of attachment. Many posts at this blog explain more about cutting cords. But the actual skill set I use — the same one you can learn to use on yourself — requires a more systematic training.

So you might want to splurge on the big $18.95 (Which is what, movie tickets for two, plus popcorn?) and get your own copy of Cut Cords of Attachment: Heal Yourself and Others with Energy Spirituality.

What, my cord of attachment shows to others?

Fear not. Although cords of attachment exist at the level of auras, they’re tucked in pretty deep. So, personally, I have NEVER met a person like David and started peeking into a cord of attachment — that food fight with the ex that turned nasty, for instance — replaying 24/7 until the last minute of David’s life. Heaven forbid!

The only times I ever read what is in a cord of attachment? That’s AFTER I have facilitated permanently cutting the cord, and then I capture the data and read it out to my client for validation. Frankly, I can’t imagine a bigger waste of time than sitting around idly reading cords of attachment. To me, that would tie with trivial pursuits like counting knuckles on random people’s hands, one fascinating knuckle at a time.

No, it’s auric modeling that shows, mostly, between you and someone like David. When you’re with another person, your auras show clearly to each other… at the level of auras.

That information exchange isn’t usually conscious, however. The data only becomes conscious when you have energetic literacy, so you can read auras on demand.

Perpetual dunking in shame and misery?

Last night, Loren Purcell interviewed me on the radio. It was absolutely a delight. For one thing, I rarely meet a person whose level of sarcasm can equal mine.

One comment Loren made was this. “I used to wish I could read auras all the time.” I urged her to perish the thought.

Aura reading does NOT mean having one yet more obsession to add to the list. Instead, think “Energetic literacy.” Reading auras involves a skill set. You learn techniques that work for you and apply them as needed. Thereafter, you read auras when you darned well choose, not just because the auras are there.

I know, some people will always feel “Everything happens for a reason. Every whim must be fulfilled, because why else would I have that whim ? So if Mt. Everest happens to be nearby, of course I will climb.”

Really, I don’t recommend such an approach to reading the human energy field. Instead, say that you’re checking out David at the Toastmaster’s Club near you. You think he’s cute. (Having met him, I happen to know that he is, actually.)

And you’re thinking, “Hmmm, might that David be date material? Shall I go over to him and ask him up to my loft and show him my speech outlines?”

Now is a good time to read the guy’s aura. Or the gal’s aura. Who-you-be: That’s what shows at the level of auras, who-you-be in all the glory and the pain.

And, for this aura reader, aura healer, a big part of the glory is this: STUFF can always, always, always be healed. No need to hide a divorce. And no need to live with the old pain… unhappily ever after.

Otherwise, it only seems like a divorce. Energetically the couple stays connected through life.

Haven’t we all met someone who wasn’t able to move on? Years later, even decades later, Gladys and Henry may be divorced. But they still aren’t dating. If you were to ask, this is what you would not hear:

 ”I’m still processing the most hurtful or frightening bits of that old marriage. It runs through me 24/7 and will continue until the last day of my life, spilling over into my subconscious mind as well as my aura.”

No, that would be acknowledging the Cord of Attachment, which neither Henry nor Gladys probably knows about, not in the least.

Instead, this is what you might hear if you were bold enough to ask, “Have you ever considered marrying again?”

• Long-term relationships are overrated. They’re not worth the trouble.
• I’m not marriage material.
• All the good ones are taken.
• Been there, done that. Long-term relationships don’t interest me any more. 

Could be, Henry and Gladys aren’t using free will nearly as much as they suppose. Instead, an underlying experience is framing the anti-marriage (or equivalent) sentiments. You guessed it, there’s a problem related to an old Cord of Attachment.

Self-disclosure interlude

Before continuing with this topic, I’d like to share where I’m coming from. Everyone has deep values on the topic of love relationships and, especially, marriage. I definitely do not believe that adults can only be happy if they arrange themselves two-by-two, as if auditioning for a latter day version of Noah’s Ark.

Moving back through time, not all the way to biblical times but to, say, 1973, I was more than divorced. I was crushing. On God.

During my Transcendental Meditation (TM) years (1969-1986), I became very interested in becoming a recluse like my guru Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. During my first course with Maharishi, I asked him, “Who becomes enlightened first, householders (married people) or recluses (monks and nuns, like him)?”

Maharishi said, “Recluses gain enlightenment (Cosmic Consciousness) first. But, once enlightened, householders move more quickly into a glorified state of enlightenment (God Consciousness).”

Fine answer from him but bad timing for me! I was asking this question during my honeymoon to Ari Davis, Husband #1. Yes, back in the day, our idea of a romantic getaway was to go to TM Teacher Training in Poland Springs, Maine.

Not surprisingly, given my bigger crush, that answer from my guru was the kiss of death for matrimony and me, for as long as I stayed in TM. Ari and I divorced a couple of years later. (Incidentally, I wouldn’t discover until 1986 that Maharishi was lying about how TM was for householders, rather than recluses. Another story….)

Anyway, by 1973 I was on another course with Maharishi. And, this time, I implored him to start a kind of monastic order within TM. With one of my friends, Eric Dahl, I went to Big M to implore him. In response, Maharishi started something called “The M Group.” (This was his cute play on words, since M could stand for Monk or for Mini-Maharishi, etc.)

Fairly soon after that, Maharishi announced two program for recluses, “Mother Divine” for women and “Purusha” for men. Applying right away, I was so thrilled to see the number stamped on my official application: 000000001.

Less gratifying was the response. There was none.

After I sent in that application, no response came. Ever. Now my friend Cynthia Lane, she was accepted. My very close friend Art Boucher, he was accepted. (Cynthia is now “at large” in society, a spiritual teacher in her own right, and dazzlingly enlightened. Artie lives in the Himalayas, still on Purusha. He’s the loving godfather of my son Matt.)

But I wasn’t accepted into the convent version of TM. Nor was I rejected, exactly. So for years I kept hoping that my acceptance letter would come in the mail. Meanwhile, I continued my celibacy program for seven years. 

Given that extremely earnest attempt at a “lifestyle,” I had plenty of contact with people who constantly said, “How come you’re not married?”

I wasn’t impressed with all the people who were so very, very sure that I needed marriage. To this day, I still never tell people “You should be married.”

Although I sure am now, and have been for 19 years. Right now, Mitch and I now exploring a fascinating second honeymoon phase, with Matt off at college. Sweet!

Okay, back now at the topic of divorce, pain, and Cords of Attachment.

Cords of Attachment and YOUR Love Life

Some marriages are really, really awful. Some are merely divorceable, so you might think later, “I was only young then.” or “That was a starter marriage. Didn’t count.”

Of course I can’t comment here about the state of any relationship, including the impact on your aura from all those married (and/or not-married) ex-es.

But I will tell you this, based on my experience cutting Cords of Attachment with clients since 1986. Unless you live in a really large harem, it’s a big deal to get a divorce — whether your conscious mind knows it or not. The best way to find out is to have it removed. Then you learn what was in it.

And you learn this info. at the right time — when that particular Cord of Attachment no longer is imprinting your aura and subconscious mind 24/7.

What clients remember when Cords of Attachment are cut

If you could join me on the phone, during sessions of Energy Spirituality, you might be amazed to hear clients react after I read them the contents of a cut cord.

Usually some time-specific information given during that part of 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment. I’ll say something like:

• These Cord Items got imprinted right after the honeymoon.
• These Cord Items come from the day you decided to get the divorce.
• This sequence of Cord Dialogue related to the first time your spouse got really drunk in front of you.

Thus, sometimes the client receives validation about an event, and emotions, that took place some 10, 20, or 30 years before.

What gets stuck in a Cord of Attachment is what seems worst to YOU, not necessarily what the other person, or anyone else, might think.

One client, Gladys, has a very high level of consciousness. With her refined perception, guess what got stuck in her Cord of Attachment to “Sam,” her husband?

During an argument, she got so angry that she wanted to hit him. In her light body, she gave him a slap.

Yes, Gladys was awake enough inside to know she was doing this. It happened impulsively. Yet Gladys felt so bad about this. For more than 20 years, she felt guilty.

Talk about being a deeply nonviolent person!

And talk about feeling better after that Cord of Attachment was cut!

Cutting a Cord of Attachment when you wish to stay married

That’s smart, too. As you know if you’ve been reading much about Cutting Cords of Attachment, these astral-level types of debris are completely separate from the etheric-level spiritual ties that we also form to significant others.

When you cut a Cord of Attachment to a S.O., that doesn’t force you to break up. Or stay together. You just stop dragging the most painful past around with you, like a rag of a lovey.

Recently, I cut a Cord of Attachment for a client who wished to stay married. And she had been married for 25 years. “Harriet” laughed at almost every single cord item.

The cord items had been laid down very early in the marriage. Harriet hadn’t thought consciously about those feelings and relationship dynamics. But hearing me read them out, after the cord had been cut, was tremendously healing for her.

“Do I have to remember anything for you to successfully cut a cord?”

Last week I had the cutest client, “Doug.” During our session, it became clear that he thought that he had to be able to remember important events of a relationship in order for me to facilitate cutting his Cord of Attachment.

No worries! Here’s how hard you have to work, and how much you must know. If I’m going to facilitate cutting a Cord of Attachment for you:

• You must be willing to have the session, schedule it, pay the fee for my time.
• You must stay on the phone, or be in my office, for the whole time (minus any bathroom breaks).
• If it’s an in-person session, you can’t sit there and Tweet all your friends.
• No coming to your session drunk or stoned!
• When I give a simple instruction, such as asking you to repeat a permission statement, you must follow it.

Hey, that’s it. As you know well, if you ever have been in session with me for Aura Healing and Transformation (a.k.a. Energy Spirituality), I get most of the information needed directly from your aura. If there is a need for you to tell me the things you already know consciously, I’ll ask. And I probably won’t ask much….

What if you want to cut your own Cord of Attachment?

Excellent! Learn how from my book (see LINKS below) or from the Intensive Workshop that I’ll be hosting next weekend, October 16-18. This is my annual Cut the Cords workshop, where you develop skills or refine the skills you already have. (And, no, we don’t spend the entire weekend cutting your major cords of attachment. You might release one or two MINOR cords as you practice. The purpose is gaining skill.)

To sign up for the Cut the Cords workshop, or ask questions, email Julie Schroedl at Julie Schroedl[at]msn.com or call 1-540-310-4896

When cutting Cords of Attachment, there’s no “memory requirement” for you as a practitioner.

Receiving the unique information in a Cord of Attachment is precious for healing. But that is never done by “figuring out what it should be” or struggling to consciously remember a particular trauma.

Instead, you use a technique of Aura Reading to get the information. I teach some really, really easy but effective ones for this purpose.

And the overall purpose of that how-to book, Cut Cords of Attachment, is to give you all the skills you need, no previous experience necessary.

Whether you’re married or single, have one ex or a whole string of them, get yourself healed. Every Cord of Attachment that limits your current love life is one cord too many.

Instead, a person suffers from one of these common forms of anger in disguise. (What you thought that all emotions here at Earth School come nicely labeled for your convenience?)

• Resentment
• Frustration
• Hopelessness
• Helplessness
• Boredom
• “I don’t know”

It’s a slippery slope, moving from anger to toxic emotions like these. Yes, I’m aware that “I don’t know” covers a range of emotions. By putting this phrase on our list, I’m referring to varieties like, “Confusion based on denial of anger” or “Frustration leading to intellectual shut-down.”

“I don’t know” can make a person feel mysterious or deep or admirably philosophical. Yet the root cause is often no more noble than anger:

“If I can’t make my wish come true — just by wishing, and just the way I imagine it– then I refused to stay actively engaged in life. Ask me anything. I won’t know.”

HIDDEN ANGER

Certainly, one way to view our list of emotions is to link them to the topic of Anger Management. Let’s call all of them ”problems with Pat.” And let’s say that Pat is the hypothetical (and very troublesome) husband or wife or lover or boss at work.

Pat generates anger. Alas, Pat seems to have all the power in the relationship.

An expanded version of our list could go like this:

HOW CAN IT HELP TO CUT CORDS?

Cords of Attachment are energetic links between two people. Soon as you become interested in a relationship with “Pat,” for instance, you form a Cord of Attachment. This is separate from a second energetic link always formed at the same time, a spiritual tie.

• Spiritual ties contain the beauty of a relationship, all the love and light and sweetness… however much or little.
• Cords of Attachment contain… emotions like anger and humiliation, resentment and frustration.

Whatever emotional and spiritual patterns about the relationship have been the most troubling — they’re the patterns that flow back-and-forth within that Cord of Attachment.

Once begun, and whatever the specific pattern, a Cord of Attachment continues its energy flow every day of your life. If the pattern involves anger, then anger is stimulated by that Cord of Attachment. Unless you cut the cord, that anger will move into your aura and subconscious mind 24/7.

DIVORCING ANGER

Partly what I’m describing here is mere theory about cutting Cords of Attachment. But I’ve earned the right to theorize, having specialized in the cord cutting field since 1986.

Just yesterday, I cut a Cord of Attachment with several “cord items” that were variations on the theme of anger. My client, “Josie” had a right to big anger. Her ex-husband of 20 years had treated her shabbily, so she felt decreasing power over the years, gradual smashing of her self-respect, and she lived with many of the variations I’ve listed above.

Even though the divorce had been effective years before, Josie still suffered from all the cord items. By cutting that particular Cord of Attachment, Josie was freed from a range of anger-related problems. Yes, she recognized every cord item. Yes, they still hurt, after all those years.

Divorce was wise. But divorce alone isn’t the same as cutting a Cord of Attachment.

THE BIG PROBLEM WITH ANGER MANAGEMENT

Josie’s session was a stark reminder to me of three things about Anger Management:

1. Anger Management is doomed to fail while certain Cords of Attachment are active. Someone like Josie can work hard to “control her temper” but it’s only human to feel rage, having the anger-provoking cord items recirculate within her subconscious mind 24/7.
2. It’s vital to use a quality method like my 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment (R). One simple session, done by a professional or done on your own, after you have learned the skill set and bam! Cutting a Cord of Attachment properly means that you will NEVER again have a Cord of Attachment to that person. Therefore, a chronic cause of anger will be gone for good.
3. Anger Management is important, sometimes life saving. Yet mere Anger Management doesn’t touch the problems of stuck anger. It isn’t enough to control anger, not when the everyday problems feel more like resentment, frustration, and “I don’t know.”

Who are the biggest victims of anger? They may not stand out like the obvious victims, the people who are bullied or emotionally abused or hit. But for sheer numbers, the ones who suffer most could be people like Josie, living with anger that has become buried so deep, it no longer feels like anger at all.

Use our COMMENTS section to share your questions and your story. Has it made a difference for you, cutting a cord of attachment? Once upon a time, were you a victim of anger, only instead of Anger Management you lived with low self-esteem, helplessness or boredom?

LINKS

For FAQs about Cutting Cords of Attachment, click here.

For information about an aura reading session that emphasizes healing with techniques of Energy Spirituality, like cutting cords of attachment, click here and then you can also click here to set up an appointment.

(I can facilitate cutting cords of attachment for you just fine over the phone, although I can also do them in person, if you prefer.)

To remove astral debris or other STUFF from your aura, click here to set up an appointment. Again, phoner sessions work just fine.

To receive an Aura Reading session where I read you over the phone, helping you to clarify life choices and validate gifts of your soul, click here for information and here to set up an appointment.

The trademarked system for cutting cords is fully presented in the how-to book that I wrote for mental health professionals, healers, and do-it-yourselfers, Cut Cords of Attachment: Heal Yourself and Others with Energy Spirituality. You can order the cord cutting book securely online at my website or call 24/7 on a toll-free line that works in the U.S. and Canada. Imagine, being able to talk to a real live human being! Try it, you’ll like it. 800-345-6665.

An e-book, Kindle, edition of “Cut Cords of Attachment” is also available now. To order this how-to method of cutting cords with quality control, click here.

For personal mentoring, helping you to develop skill extra-fast at Cutting Cords of Attachment, click here.