Yes, Blog-Buddies, here is the rest of my interview about the differences and similarities between Energy Spirituality and traditional methods of therapy, including psychiatry. Many thanks to Arlene, the Groovy Psychiatrist, and to the Blog-Buddy who volunteered to transcribe our interview.

For other posts in this series see:

• Arlene, the Groovy Psychiatrist, Interview Begun
• Arlene, the Groovy Psychiatrist, Interview Continued
• Original contest with your questions about psychiatry, psychological healing, and Energy Spirituality

Are all narcissists the same?

Rose:  Greetings, Arlene! This is Rose Rosetree, and I want your perspective as a groovy psychiatrist about some very varied questions about the intersection of healing when the approach is psychiatry, when the approach is Energy Spirituality, or other mind-body-spirit approaches.

Long story short, I want to ask you, related to Comment 28, about narcissists. There’s a lot of talk on the Internet and off about narcissists. As a psychiatrist, do you put them all in one category?

Arlene: I don’t. I did see that question. It seems like narcissism is a very hot topic right now, but I don’t think all narcissists are the same.

Rose: And so, you don’t have on standard advice for people, either, in dealing with them?

Arlene: I don’t. The one thing I also was thinking about as I read that comment — and I’ve actually had this conversation with one of my supervisors – is the corollary to answering the question.

At times it has becomes popular to label people, and to use psychiatric terms in popular lingo. In some ways it’s nice that psychiatry has that larger cultural impact. But in other ways it kind of demeans those terms, and that’s why people now say “Oh, that’s all psychobabble.” I kind of cringe when I hear that.

Rose: Well I would, and I haven’t even gone through all the years of medical school the way you have. You’ve certainly earned to right to cringe.

You’re not responsible, surely,when people take specialized terminology in your field and use it for a variety of reasons.

Arlene: I think ”narcissist” is a helpful term. There’s a category in psychology called personality disorders, but it’s generally not a good idea to use the terms from the personality disorders and then adapt them for common usage and then to start labeling people. Oh you know, “That person is a narcissist.”

Because they might be, from a popular usage standpoint. But they might not actually have narcissistic personality disorder. So that would be issue #1.

And the second issue would be, sometimes people like to use terms to label people simply because they don’t like them.

And so it would be like, “I’ve taken a dislike to someone and so I just decide, well, he’s a narcissist or she’s a narcissist.”

My concern about doing that is first of all the label may be inaccurate, but second, it may be a way to avoid dealing with a problem. Now the person has been labeled, but whatever problem this person is causing may go unaddressed, because it’s easy to say, “Well, I can’t do anything about that because that person is a narcissist.”

And that would be my personal concern. It’s handy to have labels because, you know, we all need a common language for communication. If we don’t have language or terms it’s hard to communicate; the clarity of the communication becomes muddled.

But the flipside is that half the population isn’t narcissistic. It takes meaning away from the term. It takes away the specificity of the term. That would be the issue with that.

Rose: I find that fascinating, particularly the idea of not solving problems because instead the person is diagnosed so it’s assumed nothing can be done.

But I’d like to take it even a step further, because I have been charting the usage of terms like “narcissist” in popular discourse, on Google. Terms that particularly catch my attention are narcissist, psychic vampire, energy vampire, and toxic person.

You might know that I actually started to compile some statistics and put them in a blog post about grey slime and narcissists here at Deeper Perception Made Practical.

Between May 1^st and July 1^st, 2011, there was a jump in the hits on those terms combined that was approximately 20 million.

It’s just extraordinary how these terms are very much used. In addition to the terms being used to just blame people and not address problems, a big concern that I have is that sometimes people consider that self-improvement means labeling the difficult people in your life: If you can put them in those categories of being various types of toxic personality, then you know to avoid them, and this will make you a skilled empath,  or this will help you cope beautifully in your love relationships.

I just don’t get that! What is your comment here, Arlene?

Arlene: You mean, like avoiding people as a solution to problems?

Rose: Yes, first you categorize them, and maybe you categorize them very carefully, like you don’t mix up the narcissists with the energy vampires, and then you feel you have done something very sophisticated. As if “You’re really protected now.”

Arlene: Well, that usually doesn’t work.

That has generally been my experience. First of all, we have to interact with people in our lives. So a blanket “Avoid a whole group of people” usually is not practical.

Even if you could do that, which most of us can’t, what I have observed when I see someone labeling groups of people, or if this becomes a common habit, and especially if a certain label is used more than others, it usually tells me something about an issue that the person is struggling with.

So maybe if someone labels half the people she knows as narcissists, she is really struggling with issues of trying to be more assertive and have other people respect her.

In response I might make a comment to her like, “I’ve noticed you have a lot of narcissists in your life or people you think are narcissistic. I wonder if one of the issues you’re struggling with right now is trying to be more assertive and to feel heard.”

I try to think of what would lead someone to have a desire, or a need, to label so many people with a term like that.

Rose: Beautiful. Now here’s something on this topic that comes from one of our very prolific commenters, PRIMROSE sometimes called PRIMMIE. In Comment 29, she is talking on this topic of narcissism and her own process of recovery at a certain point. She wrote:

Personally, I’m happy that thanks to the internet that there is more awareness of personality disorders. It might mean narcissism becomes a bit of a topic for a while, but the more discussion out there about that kind of thing, the better, as far as I’m concerned. Better it’s a buzzword than it’s something people have no awareness of at all.

It makes me think of the first time I came out of denial about the alcoholism in my family. Suddenly I thought everyone in the world was from an alcoholic background.

That was a stage for me, and I see others have a similar stage of seeing alcoholism or anorexia, etc., everywhere. It settles down in time and you get a more realistic view of the world. I think that might be happening with narcissism at the moment.

Arlene: Yeah, I think that, like anything, like certain things come into vogue, like certain terms or certain fashion for example.

You know, things come into style and kind of wane.

I think that’s part of the nature of being human. Certain things become really popular for a while and then they kind of die down. I think that right now, the term narcissism is having its moment in the sun.

Rose: How exciting, not only being a narcissist, but having your moment in the sun at the same time!

Arlene: So I’m definitely someone who really believes in dialogue. I think it’s great that people are having conversations about narcissism or, you know, other personality disorders.

I truly think that’s a wonderful thing. I mean the same way that I think it’s wonderful that people are much more open with problems with alcohol and illicit drugs — like the conversations that are happening on your blog. Because I would like to believe that these conversations help, #1, to destigmatize issues and, #2. to help people who may need the help feel more open about seeking it, to know that there are other people who are struggling with similar issues.

I think psychiatry, for whatever reason, tends to generate quite a bit of discussion among the general public; that has been my general impression.

Rose: I think you’re right! Hm. So here’s one last question for now.  This is Comment 23 from JANE.

The role of consciousness in the future of psychiatry

Where do you see the future of psychiatry going? What role will deeper perception and consciousness play? Do you have your own vision of what you’d like to see happen?

Arlene: That’s a really interesting question because there a lot of articles about that now. Recently there was an article in the “New York Times” about psychiatry. So I see it going in a couple of different directions, and I don’t know which direction will predominate.

One is that, because psychiatrists are medical doctors, psychiatry has become increasingly more what we would call “biological.”

So a lot of psychiatrists spend a good portion of their time prescribing medication.

That doesn’t mean we think everyone needs medication, but we tend to be referred clients who need medication. Out of the community of licensed clinical social workers, psychologists, therapists of all stripes, we’re the only ones who have a medical degree. So we’re the only ones who can prescribe. That would be on direction.

Rose: Is that still true? I’m wondering if that’s still true, because the understanding that I had was that other MDs are able to prescribe, like general practitioners. Is it really true that only psychiatrists can still prescribe those? Forgive me for interrupting, but I was just so curious.

Arlene: General practitioners can prescribe psychiatric medications. Any doctor can prescribe any prescription medication, and actually probably the majority of psychiatric medications are prescribed by internal medicine doctors and family medicine doctors, what people refer to as “Your PCP,” or “Your primary care provider.” 

But usually when the primary care provider has a difficult issue that he hasn’t been able to solve, then the patient will be referred on the psychiatrist for further input. And patients may also be referred to a therapist as well, but the therapist can’t prescribe medication, only the psychiatrist can.

Rose: Thank you. Meanwhile, so that’s one possible direction. What else?

Arlene: That’s one possible direction. So that possible direction would be that psychiatrists can no longer really provide therapy because insurance companies won’t pay for it. So psychiatrists would do pretty much all the medication management and then a client sees a therapist for counseling. So patients would see two providers, essentially. That would be one direction.

Another direction would be, and this could depend a lot of how the national health care system works out, that if there is more mental health parity, then psychiatrists can go back to doing what they used to do, which was to provide medication management and therapy concurrently – which I know some people do, but not as many people do that.

So, patients would automatically get counseling along with medication management. That’s a second direction that it could go in.

Rose: Very different direction….

Arlene: And a third direction would be, all psychiatrists work for a community mental health center. So rather than solo practitioners, you would have people in more of a system-based health care delivery system. A patient would go to a group of psychiatrists, like a group practice; that would be another direction. 

Or go to a community mental health center. Or something that is more structured or government funded, so that to increase access to psychiatric care, there would be more clinics or clinic of psychiatrists attached to primary care clinics. A patient would have more care in one place, with more physicians. That’s another possibility.

And then another direction [for the field of psychiatry], and this is actually the area that I’m interested in: Overlap between psychology and psychiatry.

Right now, there’s a lot of interesting research being done by social psychologists on, like subjective well-being, happiness studies, decision-making theory. I think there are a lot of interesting crossover applications between what the social psychologists are doing and what the psychiatrists are doing. But you know, historically the two fields have never met.

Rose: You think they like people, they’d want to get acquainted!

Well, what do you believe that psychiatrist do better than people in any other profession, including social psychologists?

Arlene: I definitely think is like a sort of self-editing question, but I’ll explain it. We definitely provide the best psychiatric care. That seems like answering, “What does the cardiologist do best?” They provide good cardiac care….

Rose: Please continue.

What psychiatrists do best

Arlene: I think that psychiatrists, we definitely are the best at prescribing psychiatric medication, or what we would refer to as psychotropic medications.

So, like anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, anti-anxiety medications, often referred to as anxiolytics, even sleep medications, we are absolutely, bar none, the best. We know the most about those medications.

We are the best at dosing them, combining them; being a psychopharmacologist we’re absolutely the best at that.

Treatment failures, knowing how long to continue a medication, providing counseling….

Before the split between medication management and counseling, when a lot of the counseling was provided by psychiatrists, we were, as a group, considered the best therapists and counselors as well. So I think that we do that really well when other physicians can’t handle that.

You know, like if a primary care provider has a patient who is has been refractory to antidepressant medication, we’re very good at sorting out:

• What medications were tried?
• How long were they used?
• What doses were they used at?
• Were they combined with anything else?

 We’re really absolutely the best at that, because we’re the most confident with using those medications and we have the most experience with them.

I think we’re also really good, even during our medication management visits, at realizing what choices in lifestyle are contributing to what appears to be a psychiatric problem.

Rose: Now that’s important.

Arlene: Usually we don’t just ask people about how they’re responding to medications. We also ask them what’s going on in their lives, and how are they sleeping, and what’s their energy like, and how is their appetite.

We get a lot of information doing that, because we can focus on those questions, whereas if you go to see a primary care provider, they have to focus on other questions and may not have time to get to those questions. So I think we’re very good at that.

I also think, in general, we’re really good at utilizing systems-based resources. Because we tend to that a lot more.

Rose: What does that mean, “Systems-based resources“?

Arlene: Historically it used to be that, as a physician, you were also aware of what is going on in the patient’s family, in the patient’s workplace, what is going on with her health insurance; does the patient need approval for this medication?

So we’re utilizing, for example, in child and adolescent psychiatry, school-based therapy is becoming more common to identify problems in schools because all children go to school, where screening for psychiatric disorders might be a systems-based intervention.

We tend to be more aware of those kinds of issues because we’re aware of parity of mental health and the lack of parity in mental health. So I think that psychiatrists tend to take more of the advocacy role as a group than other specialists.

Rose: And, when you talk about systems-based resources, are you also talking about family systems or the internal dynamics within the family that are affecting the patient?

Arlene: Yes. We don’t do that as much in adult psychiatry, but certainly the child and adolescent psychiatrists do a lot more of that. But even seeing adults, we are aware; we do have an awareness of what’s going on in the patient’s life outside of the time that they’re sitting in front of us at the clinic.

Rose: What a scope, what a huge scope of psychiatry. This is a far cry from the first songs of Sigmund Freud. Big, big range of ways of helping and combining science and medications and what people sometimes call “Talk therapy.”

Arlene: Yes.

Rose: Now, when it comes to prescribing, which is, as you said, something that psychiatrists do the best, you probably know that a very, very passionate interest of mine within energy spirituality is the kind of research that can be done about the effects of different medications on different portions of an aura which I call chakra databanks.

And there is a kind of research that I’ve developed where I will do a baseline reading of 10 important chakra databanks, things like Dealing with Reality, a Root Chakra databank; Emotional Self-Awareness, a Heart Chakra databank; Connection to Spiritual Source, a Third Eye Chakra databank; and then research the impact of one medication versus another on many databanks.

And what’s so nice about that, is that it’s possible to get a kind of preview of effects of a medication. It’s also possible to see problems that might not really present themselves clearly for years if ever medication’s side effects emotionally would really limit the person’s quality of life.

Not that I know even what to ask you about this, except just to mention it in the context of prescribing and how, with all that experience that psychiatrist have so far, that is not included, is it?

Arlene: No, so the closest we have gotten to that, and this is actually a pretty hot area of research right now, is trying to profile people genetically. For example, different receptor subtypes to responses toward medication.

This can help us a pick a medication that might help that person.

The other [factor] would be family history. So if we know someone in the family has responded well to a medication, if the client is genetically related to that family member, it’s a high probability that that client will also respond well to that medication, so we would tend to pick that medication over another one.

When a psychiatrist is a skilled empath

I think with experience, and also certainly if you’re an empath, I think you can get a feel for who will respond to a particular medication better than another. I can certainly say that at the end of my year now, I’m much better at prescribing.

 I think I would say that I’ve gotten much better at being able to predict which medication will probably work better for a person than I was at the beginning of the year. And part of that has been my own experience, but I think part of it is just that I’ve gotten more skilled, with talking to you in sessions and things like that. So I think it has been a combination of both.

Rose: Exciting! Well thank you so much for your time and your responses. Thanks again to everyone at Deeper Perception Made Practical who contributed to this thread. And is there any last thing that you would like to say, Arlene, on any topic whatsoever?

Conclusion

Arlene: Well, I can say that psychiatry is never boring, it’s always interesting.

It really thrills my soul. I really enjoy the work that I do; I think that it’s very important work.

I really thank all the bloggers who responded to your invitation for questions, I really enjoyed reading them, and I hope that one day I’ll have to opportunity to actually meet some of the people who asked the questions or some of the other bloggers who I haven’t actually met yet.

So I thank you for the opportunity, Rose, and the readers who provided the questions, for giving me the opportunity to answer questions, and I hope that this has been helpful.

Rose: I found it fascinating, thank you so much, and bye for now.

If Edvard Munch lived now, he'd really be screaming

“Gray slime” is, of course, my term for the creeping fears of humanity. We live in interesting times. These are times that offer us fabulous opportunities for spiritual evolution.

• Dealing with problems, will you choose to summon your human common sense, then evaluate situations realistically? Will you do your human part to solve the problems?
• As for your spiritual life, and your goals as a world server, are you doing your comfortable best in that department as well?

Answer “YES!” and you’re doing great these days, even if sometimes your journey is bumpy. Answer “NO” and you’re probably pretty darned grumpy right now.

Hey, you’re allowed to feel grumpy even if your answer is “YES!”  Because these times are challenging for us all.

Especially since the people in your life who consistently say “NO” to life’s invitations can be dealing with a lot of astral-level grey slime. More is deposited in that person’s aura with each terrified or stubborn “NO.”

Then, in turn, having more gray slime inside will bring cascades of fear and victimhood. It’s a vicious cycle, for sure.

Well, are you ready to read some weirdly funny statistics? Relate them to increase in gray slime or explain them however you like.

Mounting energy hypochondria

This morning, editing away on a certain literary project, I thought I would check on certain statistics. Below you can read the contrasting number of hits on certain fear words.

To me, all the following terms are about energy hypochondria. This increasingly common problem happens when people move into Stage One Energetic Literacy. They know just enough about energy to start noticing vibes, but not enough to read auras accurately or in depth.

The energy newbie, like anyone else living now, worries about all kinds of human things. Only now the energy newbie has begun to develop sensitivity to astral-level debris like astral ties and negative thought forms. (One type of negative thought form is the gray slime that develops when people say “NO” to spiritual invitations to grow, take responsibility for human life, etc.)  

Poor Joe and Gladys translate these worries into terms that help “explain” why they feel bad.

The Internet helps, too. Because, of course, the Net is like humanity’s subconscious mind. You can find everything there, true or false, genuinely helpful or enabling gray slime, etc.

The difference in Goo9gle statistics below sure gave me a jolt. Check this out. Here’s what happened between May 1, when I last edited this literary project, and today, July 1, 2011.

Psychic attack

May 1, 2011:  6,900,000 hits

July 1, 2011: 13,600,000 hits

Psychic vampire

May 1, 2011: 1,990,000 hits

July 1, 2011: 6,810,000 hits

Narcissist

 May 1, 2011: 910,000 hits

July 1, 2011: 3,780,000 hits

Victim

 May 1, 2011: 106,000,000 hits

July 1, 2011: 196,000,000 hits

Toxic People

May 1, 2011: 147,000 hits

July 1, 2011: 10,100,000 hits

Toxic Personalities

May 1, 2011: 2,280,000 hits

July 1, 2011: 12,400,000 hits

Documenting the rise in energy hypochondria

Here’s a grand total of sorts.

Two months ago, I also Googled “Avoid” plus each of these six victimey terms. Then I added it up:

How many hits on May 1, 2011? 

3,630,000 + 1,580,000 + 144,000 + 45,600,000 + 8,800,000 + 4,920,000. Total hits: 64,674,000. That’s right, well over 64 million!

Think that’s a big deal? Just now I googled the same six terms so convenient for energy hypochondria.

How many hits on July 1, 2011?

5,380,000 + 1,930,000 + 1,760,000 + 64,100,000 + 3,930,000 + 6,460,000. Total hits: 83,560,000.

So, Blog-Buddies, what do you make of that?

Apology Needed?

Above all, the purpose of this blog is education. Deeper Perception techniques, energetic literacy of all kinds, support self-authority for each of us. Quite recently this self-authority has been tested around issues of what constitutes an apology. 

When is it appropriate to apologize? 

How gracious does one need to be? 

Who is responsible when somebody feels insulted or names you as the big, monstrous ”insulter”? 

On a completely unrelated thread, some strong opinions came up. This is such an interesting topic that today I’m adding a bit of post preface, then transferring this Apology Thread over here so we can all pursue it vigorously. 

Of course, we can include perspective that comes from Energy Spirituality, which means healing STUFF at the level of auras, using techniques like 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment(R), Empath Empowerment(R), and the skill set of Spiritual Cleansing and Protection. 

The tricky terrain of victimhood and apologies

Terry Cole-Whittaker deserves to be famous for her book What You Think of Me Is None of My Business. From a spiritual perspective, each of us carries responsibility for setting priorities in our relationships. 

Rather than blaming others, we can remember: Nobody can humiliate you without your permission. 

Can people insult you, sure? But you have full choice over how you respond to behavior that is insulting or inappropriate or just plain ignorant. 

Partly, this response will be based on your belief system. 

• Will you believe in turning the other cheek? Activating forgiveness? Ignoring?
• In New Age and other spiritually-based belief systems, one popular custom is to force a big, rigid smile on the face, then actively “bless” the person. (As in our popular thread, “You disgust me.” But blessings to you, of course.)
• Another recourse is attacking back, demanding apology, etc.

Personally, at this time in my life, I favor giving clear, direct, and congruent communication whenever I think it’s appropriate. What the other person does with that, including whether or not a mind is changed or apologies are given, I don’t consider that to be any of my business. After giving that appropriate feedback, my business is to clean myself off emotionally, energetically, intellectually. 

Whatever one believes, or does, apology situations are sticky. Contributing to the potential mess is what we expect, deep down, from the person who “ought” to give an apology. And why “ought”? Because, were the shoe on the other foot, we would definitely give a sincere apology. 

Forced apologies for victims

Tom Chapin, the great songwriter for children, has written a marvellous song about a little boy who was forced to apologize for something or other. Now I don’t remember the details of this song; at the time I felt too exhausted to remember much at all, because this song was part of the early parenting period in my life, some 15 years ago. However, the ending of the song sure stuck in my head. 

After much pressure, the boy finally apologized. He was asked, “Are you really sorry — really, really sorry?” 

His response, in a flat disgusted voice: “No, I’m not.” 

So many apologies are forced upon us, where we may feel like victims ourselves, required to obey rules we didn’t make and compensate for ludicrous responses that never were justified, not to our own thinking anyway. 

Of course, victimhood is one of the specialties of American consciousness right now. (I definitely would like comments from you Blog-Buddies abroad about this. Tell us. Is victimhood popular where you live, too?) 

Yesterday, when first drafting this post, I did some googling about various interpretations of victimhood. 

It isn’t too far fetched — for some New Agers, anyway — to go from “My feelings were hurt” or “I need an apology” to demonizing the person who has “wronged” us. I’ve summarized popular language I’ve heard and then researched. Wow! Check out these stats on the following italicized terms! 

“How terribly awfully awful is psychic attack. ( 6,900,000 ) Those wicked psychic vampires (1,990,000 ) and narcissists (910,000 ) who make you a victim, (106,000,000 ), shame on them! The problem would never, ever be your fault. 

“How can you deal with these monsters? Educate yourself about toxic people (147,000 results ) and toxic personalities (2,280,000 ). 

 “Then Avoid them. Only then can you be safe. (Googling on italicized terms plus “avoid” brought up these hits: 3,630,000 + 1,580,000 + 144,000 + 45,600,000 + 8,800,000 + 4,920,000. Total hits: 64,674,000) ” 

Which makes sense in what world? Avoiding leads to more avoiding, with more people every day seeming more toxic and frightening. 

Bring on the Aura Healing and Transformation! Remove STUFF and help people fill up with self-authority, appropriate social skills, etc. That’s the approach I take with clients. (Incidentally, that “fill up” part is one of many reasons why I never, ever refer to my sessions of Energy Spirituality as “cord-cutting sessions.”) 

Meanwhile, no matter how strong and vigorous a person becomes on the path to Enlightenment, can’t there still be problems where people say or do things that, we feel, deserve an apology? What then? 

Fake apologies

Seems to me, we can’t avoid the topic of fake apologies. One person’s precise, perfectly kind response to a conversation can rile up others like crazy. 

I must admit, I do get riled up over this. Despite the fact that I take responsibility for myself and vigorously clean myself up, etc., fake apologies annoy more more than just about anything I can think of in life. At least at this moment.  

The irony does not escape me that the mission of this educational blog is to bring the perspective of energetic literacy and, in shedding this particular kind of light, I am not blameless in the offending department. Just check out our aforementioned popular post on “You Disgust Me,” for example. And I extend such ideas quite unapologetically. 

My latest book, Magnetize Money with Energetic Literacy: 10 Secrets for Success and Prosperity in the Third Millennium — whew! The most controversial writing I have ever done in my life. And I don’t apologize for a bit of it. Recently I was interviewed by Tracy Tobler and she told me afterwards that folks in her chat room were really riled up by my comments. Later she emailed and told me the same thing. Far from apologizing on any level, I thought, “Ouch. But good. Nobody has to agree with me.” 

If you follow comments below, old and new, you’ll read a superb explanation by PRIMROSE about the origins of what I called a “fake apology.” And she, using full self-authority, refused to back down. 

She did, however, explain why she acted and believed as she did. To summarize: In the context of group therapy, it makes perfect sense that people would give very limited apologies, along the lines of “I’m not responsible for your being triggered by me. So, as a courtesy, I will say this: I am sorry IF YOU WERE OFFENDED BY xyz.” 

What opinions do you have, Blog-Buddies, about people using this type of apology outside of group therapy? Does it strike you as Buddhist, psychologically balanced, or something else? 

Do you think that Enlightened people speak this way, due to being crystal clear about their responsibility in the world? 

You Blog-Buddies may know that I have some friends from the Enlightenment Life List, one of them being Jeffrey Chappell. We have been friends for some 25 years. Once, after he became Enlightened, I had a small argument with Jeffrey.

There was crying on my part. No attacking ensued, but very direct conversation. It became clear to me early on that, if one of us was in the wrong, it was definitely me. Although that hardly kept me from feeling really awful. 

What was so ennobling about that conversation? Talking with me, solving the problem, Jeffrey didn’t care about who was right or wrong. He did his very best to make things work again, to clear the air, to help my heart to open up again if that was what I wanted to do. Which it was. The compassion was fathomless.

Furthermore, as happens whenever I have the good fortune to talk with somebody who is spiritually Enlightened, there is a wonderful sense of safety deep down. Judy Lavine, Bill Bauman, Donna Eden — these folks have no buttons to push. Nothing at all will be triggered by anything I say or do.

So what qualifies an apology as sincere or fake? To me, there needs to be an admission that “I did xyz.” Not “You felt xyz? Well, how pathetic of you. I’ll apologize to show my good manners.”

Also, some compassion would be nice. So would be extending a presence toward the “victim” that is friendly and hospitable.

That’s my definition, anyway. What’s yours?

“I’m sorry if you feel offended”

 In contrast to this favorite type of apologizing, here is a story from my past. Now I find this a rather humorous example of a fake apology. Let me know if it seems fake to you, as well. 

Not that it seemed funny at the time. I was about as close to spitting mad as I have been, ever, in this lifetime. 

Over the past 41 years, I have had many sponsors and promoters for workshops. The one whom I paid most, by far, was “Joe.” Maybe the exhorbitant promoter’s fee he insisted upon was part of the problem. At the time, I just knew that I wanted to teach workshops in his area. I wanted to do this very badly, and Joe had some good contacts. 

Joe did set up some workshops, as agreed. However, he lost interest before I arrived. On the day of our workshop, Joe’s wife drove me over to the site and registered the students. (And although she did a fine job, I had been given no notice whatsoever that Joe wouldn’t be there; I never had hired his wife.) 

Important Joe waltzed in about two hours late, having found far more compelling things to do on that sunny, warm Saturday morning. 

Back in the day, my promoters received the opportunity to sit in on a workshop. If not interested in doing that, they still needed to be available on site just  in case a student had a problem, a gopher was needed, etc. Joe and I had discussed this. Being available in this way was part of our agreement. 

Regardless, Joe left the room shortly after making his appearance. I kept on, doing my best to hold a space for a rather difficult class, teaching away the very best I could.

Our site for the workshop was gorgeous, anyway. It was a huge mansion, with an immense living room fronted by huge glass windows, a kind of wall that extended the full length of the room.

Chairs for my students were positioned so that they sat with their back to the view — partly because the rest of the room was beautiful, too; partly because I wasn’t going to tempt these easily distractable folk, making it easy for them spend their workshop time by gazing out of those windows. 

I could see clearly through those windows, however: The gorgeous landscaping, the sunshine, the large swimming pool that even had a diving board….

To my horror, I saw Joe emerge into this scene. Clad in a bathing suit, he strutted over to the diving board. Joe took a fine dive, then proceeded to swim laps. 

What bothered me about this? 

• My promoter clearly wasn’t doing his job. (The workshop was “Aura Reading Through All Your Senses,” not “How to Swim.” 
• Joe was being paid a lot of money to do that job, nearly as much as I was to give the workshop.
• Any one of my very distractable students, like Gladys, could easily turn her head and see my promoter — My promoter, for heaven’s sake!!! — so uninterested in anything I was teaching that he preferred to take a swim.

Japanese businessmen are not the only people who care about saving face. I turned boiling mad.

In fact, I think this is the only time in 41 years that I couldn’t pay full attention to giving a workshop. It was distracting how upset I felt. Upset or not, my ethical commitment was to give full attention to my students. As soon as possible,  I worked in a break. 

Meeting up with Joe in a place out of view from the classroom, I confronted him about the job he was doing. The worst part was the tremendous disrespect he showed me by taking that swim, potentially in full view of my students. 

What was his response? Oh, I bet you have guessed: 

“I’m sorry if you feel offended by my taking a swim.” 

Conclusion

Joe was fired. I stopped feeling fired up. In retrospect, I had learned some useful things about hiring a promoter. 

But can there be a definitive conclusion about apologizing from this story, or any other one story? Maybe not. 

What do you think, Blog-Buddies? And do any of you have stories to share, whether involving swimming pools or not?

Blog-Buddies, sometimes a comment sent to this blog is so superb and detailed, it really deserves to become a post of its own. Originally Sarah’s words (and the first comment) below were submitted  in response to my post from today about “Why I don’t believe in Dark Souls.”

Maybe you’ll agree with Sarah. Maybe you’ll want to buy her new book, to learn more about the thoughtful and detailed approach that she brings to this topic. Here is some of her perspective about narcissists, being an empath, and more, with a bit of formatting and headings added.

Rose, as you know I have has a fit bit of flack about the book, some of it negative and much of it positive. 

When I was reading this post it wasn’t until I got the the very last bit at the bottom that I could think of a real way of answering. 

You wrote, “When I was at my worst, killing people etc., it would have been easy for an outside observer to call me a ‘Dark Soul.’ But I wasn’t. I was the very same soul who works so hard now to teach and heal and help.”

I was that in that place too, and having shared so many lifetimes with the same Dark Soul that I mention in the book that had killed him past lives and probably done a whole lot worse to other people.

I suppose now, in hindsight, Dark Souls perhaps wasn’t the best choice of words for the title of the book. And I have had more than enough flack from people who aren’t able to grasp the concept that “some” types of people’s sole intention is to intentionally go out to victimise and exploit others.  

Empaths involved with Dark Souls

The focus however on the book was the “extreme” end of the the abusive type personality that empaths like myself tended to get involved with.

To educate the reader and give them some tools to heal themselves, not the other way round.  Those types that may be similar to those pedo types that I was so used to being around as a child. 

The types of readers who are likely to be wanting to leave these relationships are like:

• The woman who emailed me today to say she has finally escaped after finding her ex has been giving her GBH a date rape drug and then making out “it was all her imagination and she was making it all up”. 
• The type of person who has no conscience wo could feel the need to lie about having cancer.
• Or the type of person who threatens to kill you and would if they could get away with it.
•  The type of person who may drive another person so crazy with their lying behaviour and projecting and gaslighting as to render their victim so powerless they commit suicide as a result.

So, no, I wasn’t referring to your run of the mill bossy boss who makes you work overtime too much.  Perhaps I was a bit too black and white.

I have been validated by the book having had emails all over the world from women who have been in the same situation and wanted to make sense of some of the madness, whatever the title of the book.

Perhaps the only people who liked the title were those who actually had a relationship with these types of people.

Before I wrote “Dark Souls”

When I dreamt up the title, I still had many cords of attachment. And I felt like a projection of the person I was in relationship with, very dark.  In fact I wrote in the book without putting all the emphasis on them. 

I had been lying to myself all along,  I had no self esteem, my finances were in a shambles, and I was unhappy in a relationship with a man who was lying to himself and everyone around him.

Yet, in a weird way, most of the things I was to find out about him were a “reflection” of the things he was mirroring back to me. In other words,  all that I needed to deal with was within me.

By that I meant having to look at myself and see what was in me that I needed to deal with, i.e lack of boundaries, lack of self-love, and so on.

Having learnt how to set boundaries, heal myself, channel, read auras, and all kinds of other weird and wonderful “stuff” since my encounter with the man and multiple other (what I call) “Dark Souls” in the book.

If you were to ask me, “Do I consider myself to be a Dark Soul or an ‘Enlightened being’ as a result of my journey?”

My answer would be somewhere in the middle. 

Would I in hindsight have dreamt up a better analogy for such people with such extreme behaviour whom I refer to in the book such as “psychopathic narcissists”? Then my answer is probably not.

Finding the gift

These people are sent into our lives as a gift. 

When it comes to freeing up ourselves from the toxic stuff we decide to carry around with us, which in my case, as I called it in my book, which was being an untrained empath at the time, or “energetic Gunk Bucket” — that meant I had felt I was probably the darkest of all souls at one point because I didn’t even want to be here anymore. 

Does it empower us to look within ourselves? Absolutely. 

Does it mean that, for example, as a result of doing it we continue to accept abusive behaviour? (As I had done for most of my childhood and adult life.)  No.

Because, in fact, Mr Dark Soul (or whatever shade of grey he is in between) ended up actually being a real shiny diamond for me and most other people who meet them. Because he reminded me who I was, rather than who I wasn’t.

Couldn't there be some shades of grey?

Sure, I’ve heard the names just as you have: Dark souls. Darksiders. Psychic vampires. Energy vampires. Such a long list.

But do I believe in them? No. Here I’d like to offer my reasons, just in case they help you to shape your own views.

Recently at Deeper Perception Made Practical, my colleague Anna Conlan guest posted on ethics. She said explicitly that she does not believe in dark souls. That has implications for how she will treat her clients, her friends, herself. Every belief set has implications for a person’s quality of life. So it’s worthwhile to consider your own choice of beliefs on this topic, whether or not you wind up agreeing with Anna and me.

What causes horrible behavior, anyway?

One thing the “Dark Soul” concept has going for it is simplicity. Plenty of religious and belief systems tidily divide up the world into “us” and “them.” People do horrible things because they are “of the Devil” or “Not Christian” or “Among America’s millions of  standup Muslim citizens” or “How-dare-they be Spanish speakers” or “Ignrnt Immigrants hu dnt spk English the way I du.”

For New Agers, it’s sometimes tempting to blame one’s own personal problems on energy. If you don’t like what that someone else says or does, why not find a deep energetic reason to justify the dislike?

Just recently, here at Deeper Perception Made Practical, I gave a reminder to somebody at our popular Enlightenment Life List about the service being provided. This thread invites you’all to nominate people whom you think might be Enlightened. It has never been a service where I offer detailed aura readings on people purely for entertainment. (Which is done elsewhere, sometimes as the result of a contest where everyone gets to nominate favorite candidates.)

As defined in the initial post at the Enlightenment Life List, my role was clear. I offered to do a short aura reading for free of each candidate, just to screen for spiritual Enlightenment as I perceive it at the level of chakra databanks. The service was defined as my responding to each nominee with a simple YES or a NO.

Reminding one Blog-Buddy of this, she wasn’t merely offended. She complained about “the boundaries I feel from your energy.” 

When disagreement leaps from disliking a person’s words to being offended about a person’s energy, why not leap a bit further still? Why not call the person who annoys you “bad” or a “Dark Soul”? Ridiculous!

Energetic literacy provides way more nuance

At Stage 1 Energetic Literacy, it’s quite common to like someone’s energy or dislike someone’s energy and call that “an aura reading.” Actually, that is not a fully developed aura reading. It can be projected anger. Really, it can be anything.

Slipping into this kind of confusion is a danger for anyone with interest in auras or energy. Personally, I use the best energy hygiene I can, both with clients and in my everyday life. No, I don’t randomly slip in and out of people’s energy. Mostly I stay a “normal” person, paying attention to others on the very informative human levels of expression, body language, speech, and actions.

Sometimes I will choose to officially start an aura reading, using a specific technique and doing this for a short time until that aura reading is officially “over.”

The advantages? Well, it’s easier for me to integrate the experience and stay in balance as an effective human. The aura reading itself will be far more accurate than a casual drive-through. Also, using an effective technique makes it possible to access detailed information — what I call “Stage 3 Energetic Literacy.”

People with intuitive talent can get into big trouble by confusing good vibes with Stage 3 Energetic Literacy. They can be confused or misled or even develop a spiritual addiction. (See details, plus how to fix such problems, see my latest book, Magnetize Money with Energetic Literacy.)

It’s one thing to give a quick, casual look at a person’s face and say, “Cute” or “Ugly.” That doesn’t count as a detailed Face Reading. Same deal with any form of deeper perception.

In a non-casual way, I have done plenty of aura readings on the theme of “What on earth made that person tick?” Compared to most folks you meet, I have had way more exposure to disagreeable people. So how come I don’t believe in Dark Souls? Let’s go into one type of encounter at a time.

1. Cords of attachment can be healed, unlike character defects in people who aren’t my clients

Sometimes I have just facilitated cutting a cord of attachment for a client. Reading the dialogue box, I describe to my client how (within the cord of attachment, now gone) the cordee was stuck sending out some extremely toxic patterns of energy.

There could have been cord dynamics that sucked energy out of my client or filled up my client with the cordee’s anger/lust/jealousy, etc.

This can happen between perfectly normal people. The cordee isn’t necessarily a Dark Soul, darksider, psychic vampire,  or energy vampire. My client used to suffer from the dynamics in the cord of attachment. Now I describe logical consequences that my client can expect in the that relationship from now on. If there still is one.

Most important, my client is free to enjoy lifelong logical consequences from that particular healing, consequences that have nothing at all to do with the cordee. These results do tend to happen. Effective immediately.

So I would rather facilitate healing cords of attachment, describing their unique and quirky forms of STUFF, than to advise my clients to fear or avoid “Dark Souls.”

2. To what extent does aura reading research prove there are Dark Souls?

Sometimes I’ll help a client by using energetic literacy to provide insight into a troublemaker of one kind or another.

• Maybe a photo will be used, with both client and me on the phone, each of us looking at the same Internet link.
• More often, my client will simply name an occasion of being in the same room with Person X, or talking with Person X on the phone. I’ll pull out an energetic hologram, stored in my client’s subconscious mind, and read away.

Some of those Person Xes can be pretty revolting. At the head of my list these days involves my client Joe and a police chief in a nearby third world city. Police Chief X wasn’t doing his job to stop a certain lawbreaker. So my client offered a substantial bribe, which Police Chief X accepted. (Not pretty. But, alas, this is often how business is done in such locales.)

The ugly part is that Police Chief X still didn’t do his job. Geesh! What was my client, Joe, supposed to do? Take him to small claims court?

Yes, people can be funny. Or worse. Sometimes it is helpful to research away, one chakra databank after another. That can help a client like Joe to become more resourceful and know more clearly what kind of person he’s dealing with.

• What kind of individual. (Not what kind of Dark Soul. Not which of the 12 Types of Energy Vampire.)
•  What is a good way to work around that person’s limitations?
• Or is it a lost cause?

Research like this empowers my client. It’s different from, “Be afraid, be very afraid.”

3. Energetic Ponzi schemes are real, but so is a client’s ability to say “No.”

How unpleasant, when a healer or psychic or business associate comes with strings attached! If you have spiritual street smarts, you will avoid becoming involved with such a person.

But I don’t recommend playing the energetic equivalent of Dodge Ball. Simply figure out what you’re dealing with, or bring in an expert with full energetic literacy who also has some healing skills. Because a reading is not a healing.

If you have cords of attachment to such people, make it a priority to cut them. That simple.

4. Empaths need skills with everyone, not just difficult people

Congratulations go to Sarah Strudwick, who has just published a book called Dark Souls: Healing and Recovering from Toxic Relationships.

Sarah believes in acknowledging when a relationship is toxic, not just being  “fluffy bunny-type lightworkers who think that all people are nice and lovely.” She helps erstwhile victims to stop making it their business to send creepy lovers etc. the kind of sendoff we have discussed recently at this blog: Blessings, love, and light. (See the post on “You disgust me. But blessings to you, of course.)

Wisely, Sarah advocates focusing energy on oneself, instead. She also explains, correctly, that unskilled empaths are going to suffer a lot from toxic relationships. So it’s very, very smart for those empaths to get skills.

However, I don’t agree with calling those unkind lovers, demanding bosses, etc. “Dark Souls.” Becoming a skilled empath is wise for dealing with them, for sure. But until an empath becomes skilled, everyone in her or his life can become draining. 

It’s important to become a skilled empath for plenty of reasons. Gaining those skills could be as simple as spending $15 for a copy of Become the Most Important Person in the Room: Your 30-Day Plan for Empath Empowerment, then spending 15 minutes a day for a month doing some reading and make-it-sloppy homework.

I’m all for doing what works, and not just Rose Rosetree’s techniques. At a certain stage of development, a person might need to get angry at others, learn regular human assertiveness skills, and stop sending out energy as a way of trying to solve human problems. If Sarah’s book can help, or someone prefers Judith Orloff’s approach to using positive energy in order to combat energy vampires, etc., that’s certainly better than victimhood.

My work with empowerment and energetic literacy may not be helpful at all when someone feels desperate or under attack. And I do recommend Sarah’s heartfelt work as a resource if you’re in an emotional space where the thought of Dark Souls is meaningful or comforting for you. (Check out Sarah Strudwick’s YouTube video, for instance.)  

If you’re ready for an approach that does not require that your world become polarized in this way, good souls and Dark Souls, I would love to be of service to you.

Here’s an example of the difference between a Dark Soul approach and mine.

Gladys is a college student who works part time. Her boss, Joe, was demanding perfection. Gladys became exhausted, putting in four extra hours a day, never able to fulfill Joe’s demands. This boss was a real horror.

Part of the horror of this situation, to me, was that Gladys wasn’t being paid for any of this thankless volunteer overtime. And Gladys, being on the young side, hadn’t even considered charging for all this work. She simply hoped to please Joe.

In session, Gladys could have been told that Joe was an evil Dark Soul so she needed to quit her job immediately. My approach was different, though.

Cutting Gladys’ cord of attachment to Joe helped her to become more flexible and resourceful for dealing with him in the present. We also discussed common sense in the workplace. I sure didn’t think that Gladys needed to defend herself by sending out positive energy. How about good old human speech and action?

What would happen if Gladys put in her hours, then left? What if she was very clear within herself that she had the right to do her job and nothing more? What if she used words to communicate clearly with her boss?

 ”Joe, if you want me to do overtime, we must arrange that together. I will have to be paid for any extra work. Otherwise, when my shift is over, I’m going home.”

This isn’t like learning some fancy energy spell from Hogwarts. It’s a social skill that had never occurred to my client before.

Months later, Gladys still has her job. She gets paid for her work. There is no volunteer overtime.

Was Boss Joe really such a monster? Or was he more “Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile”?

If someone puts out a large platter of free cookie samples at Costco, many of us would grab loads of them. That doesn’t make us Dark Souls, does it? 

Freeing you up from perpetrators

Plenty of people are far worse than that Boss Joe. To find an example, simply check out our last post, the icky one about the pedophile.

Some people do really vile things. Criminal things, even. One doesn’t have to be a Dark Soul to perpetrate pain, anguish, sexual rejection, etc.

Actually, I spend a fair amount of my time helping clients to release STUFF that results from traumas created by those vile incidents.

• Most of my clients start off with 55-minute sessions of Aura Healing and Transformation, where I facilitate lifting out types of astral-level STUFF that can rob life of its joy.
• Sometimes a client will also benefit from Energy Release Regression Therapy.
• In some cases, a client is so interested in Past-Life Regression Therapy and Hypnosis that a first-time client wishes to start there. Okay by me.

Regression Therapy comes in different styles. Some follows a psychiatric model, famously done by Dr. Brian Weiss. Some follows a psychic model, exemplified by the highly entertaining books of Sylvia Browne. I favor a style of Regression Therapy that moves out frozen blocks of energy (a.k.a. “STUFF”).

This STUFF doesn’t have to be from other lifetimes. It can come from this lifetime. It can happen whether you’re used to thinking of your mother, boss, or ex as a Dark Soul or simply a human being. What matters most is freeing you up, right?

If your personal path toward Enlightenment includes the desire to move out old STUFF, that path might lead you here to Sterling, Virginia (a suburb of Washington, D.C.) so that you can free yourself up with my favorite form of Past-Life Regression Therapy and Hypnosis. And you won’t need to bring an intention like “To move out my STUFF caused by Dark Souls.” You might ask for very human improvements that are up for you right now, such as:

• Better ability to earn money
• Improving my love life
• More self-confidence

Perpetrator Lifetimes

Because of the particular type of Regression Therapy I do, I am aware of “Perpetrator Lifetimes.” My knowledge of this comes from my wonderful mentor for Past-Life Regression Therapy, Dr. Coletta Long.

She taught me, “There are no innocent victims.” Not if your perspective goes beyond this particular lifetime to take into account a person’s other embodiments on earth.

Working with clients, I have come to appreciate that most souls who are ambitious about having lifetimes on earth do not show up for just a few human lifetimes. We incarnate again and again at this fabulous school.

And if we really aim to win the big academic prize here, Enlightenment, we’ll be sure to include at least one human lifetime as a perpetrator.

In a perpetrator lifetime, you incarnate so that you’re shaped from childhood to become cruel or chronically angry, etc. It’s STUFF, really. But those patterns of STUFF cause a person to act in ways that hurt others.

Feeling compelled to kill or rape or steal, a person gains extremely useful knowledge. Of course, that soul will have to pay back every bit of that horrible karma. Yet souls choose a Perpetrator Lifetime willing to pay that price because of the huge learning and compassion that develop.

This isn’t like being a basically good person, like Boss Joe, who does the occasional exploitation of a vulnerable young employee. We’re talking, “Nobody is going to stop me until I’m dead. I’m going to do exactly what pleases me, whether other people like it or not. If they hate what I’m doing, more fun for me.”

Perpetrator lifetimes? Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Actually, you probably have.

I certainly have.  I know this from having been a client for sessions of Past-Life Regression Therapy that used Coletta’s method and, therefore, effectively removed frozen blocks of energy.

When I was at my worst, killing people etc., it would have been easy for an outside observer to call me a “Dark Soul.” But I wasn’t. I was the very same soul who works so hard now to teach and heal and help.

Because human history has this long-term component, something similar just might be true of you.

Cut Cords of Attachment: Check out the wild "cord" graphic in the Czech Edition

Making decisions isn’t the easiest responsibility for an adult. Personally, I like to think of it as part of the curriculum at Earth School. We have loads of difficult responsibilities, ever-changing ones.

Besides the decision making, there’s feeding oneself properly, managing a schedule, managing money, maybe managing children… yoicks, such a list!

These aren’t just choices or chores but ways to evolve. Every human responsibility helps us to discern and balance. We make a commitment one way or another. Consequences follow.

Because we go on to live those consequences in three-dimensional, tooth-tingling human reality, the learning goes amazingly deep. Unless…we make our lives far shallower than they need to be. Addictions can make this happen for a while. And so can consulting personal guides, rather than making the best decisions you can as a human being.

In a recent post, we explored the controversial topic, “Who is in charge, you or your guides?” Bridget gave a great practical example of this:

I did ask [my guides] for guidance one time before a session with you because I couldn’t decide between two cords to cut. I needed their help in deciding which one was the “yuckier” one. Lol.

What a great example of human decision making. There Bridget is preparing to have a phone session of Aura Healing and Transformation. She knows that I can cut a maximum of one major cord of attachment in a 55-minute session.

Permanent healing, this counts as major surgery on the level of auras. Even if she wanted to have a multiple sessions, to take major steps of growth that are cumulative, Bridget still wouldn’t be allowed to schedule more often than once a week. In some cases, depending on the individual’s need for integration time, I might ask her to wait a couple of weeks longer.

Also, having already had a session of Energy Spirituality, Bridget knows that I will ask her which cord of attachment she is interested in cutting. It isn’t as though she is visiting The Mighty Oz, who knows all her “shoulds” and will decide for her which is the most important cord of attachment to cut.

A word of caution about those “shoulds” from a healer

Every mind-body-spirit practitioner is different. Some of us specialize in emotional and spiritual healing — as I do. Others are especially skilled at doing healing from a physical level.

What I find fascinating is when a new client like “Joe” comes for the sort of session I do and says, in one sweet way or other, “You decide. Tell me what I need.”

I like to throw the power right back at my client. Because who, really, is better at identifying a growth area in life?

I like to co-create sessions with clients and with God. The client decides if it’s more pressing to move forward with the ability to have intimacy in relationships or reclaim personal power or some other intention.

Supporting this choice,  God adds the power and insight.

I add the human element, plus Human-Level skills.

Joe may be used to going to channelers, mediums, healers, or psychics who sit him down and then tell him, “You are supposed to have x, y, and z.”

It never seems to occur to Joe to question, how does that healer know so much about that supposed to?

When a healer does this, it’s likely that the healer has been consulting with an Astral Level being, such as a guide or spirit or channeled entity. Such beings have a somewhat higher perspective because of being Astral-Level beings, rather than Human-Level beings. They are not, however, enlightened or perfected beings or Etheric-Level beings. They may not even be as evolved as you, the client. (As discussed in that previous post.)

How can you tell that someone so very sure about what you SHOULD do is an Astral-Level being?

God, Jesus, Kwan Yin, Archangel Gabriel and other Etheric-Level or Spiritual Beings do not should anyone. They co-create with Human-Level beings, on request, in order to help us evolve. Divine Beings support our own choices and evolutionary process in a way that doesn’t do “over-ride” unless it’s a life-or-death situation.

By contrast, as discussed in our recent post, “Who is in charge, you or your guides?”, Astral-Level beings can be absolutely lovely. Nevertheless, they will gladly take all the power you give them.

In short, when a healer is so very sure about your emotional and spiritual needs, or which cord of attachment you “are supposed” to cut, a smart consumer will question who is talking?

It isn’t Almighty God. It’s someone’s very mighty personal guide. With all due respect, that astral being doesn’t necessarily know better than you do about what you need. Why give your power away? Why outsource your life?

Which cord of attachment to cut?

So let’s say you are wise, like Bridget, and know that YOU have the responsibility of suggesting which cord of attachment YOU would like to have cut in YOUR personal session.

If you’re going to be in session with me, I suggest two different possible approaches, neither of which involves asking your guides what you are supposed to do or which cord of attachment is worse.

The human approach to cutting a cord of attachment

I love when my clients come to sessions as One Human Being Having a Session of Aura Healing. A human being will have an excellent perspective on what he or she finds tricky in life right now.

• Joe, for instance, can tell that right now what’s up for him is a really upsetting relationship with a boss at work.
• Or a stalker from the past, someone who still haunts his waking hours.
• Or a deceased relative who was a horrible narcissist, and so Joe finds that often he worries about things that happened years ago with Uncle Clyde.

What if Joe finds it hard to choose among a few options? He can just pick one. Any one that is important to him!

Let’s be realistic. Most of my clients have more than one session. It’s only common sense that if you have many problems in life, and you seek professional help, that you will allow the professional helper to facilitate healing you one session at a time.

Even if your sessions will be spaced at a rate of one or two per year, you still can aim for cumulative results. Why put unreasonable pressure on yourself (and the healer) that one session must instantly solve all your problems or else be no good?

So it comes down to choosing. As an adult human being. Choosing a cord of attachment to cut isn’t terribly different from buying a pair of shoes. Let’s say you need a few different items for your shoe wardrobe:

• Better shoes for work
• A nicer pair of workout shoes
• A very cute new pair of shoes to impress a new date

And let’s say you have the money and time to shop for just one pair of shoes. Well, can’t you just decide on your own? That will surely be way more evolutionary than asking your guides to tell you which shoes you “should” buy.

Using the Human Option, Joe will simply choose one particular candidate for cutting a cord of attachment. When we are in session, I care a great deal about really, really helping my client. There is no way I ever will waste a session by cutting an unimportant cord of attachment.

So, of course, I will use my professional skills to evaluate Joe’s choice while we are in session. If that cord of attachment doesn’t score high on my ”Yuckiness Index,” I’ll tell Joe immediately and ask him to suggest something else. But I’ve got to tell you, 399 times out of 400, Joe’s first suggestion is brilliant.  

Occasionally, I will find some very pressing , oppressive form of Astral-Level debris that is a really big deal for Joe. Then I will request permission to do this type of healing, rather than cut any cord of attachment. It might be massive amounts of psychic coercion in Joe’s aura, having loads of astral entities or E.T. entities, or even an opportunity to facilitate an exorcism.

If I notice something like this, I will let Joe know quite early on in the session and offer a choice. My client will decide.

An observation like this comes from reading my client’s aura, or doing a brief Skilled Empath Merge. It is basic hygiene, at the level of auras, not a should or a must but simply a recommendation.

I have had clients respond with a “Yes” or a “Maybe next time.” Which is fine! To me, it is part of teaming up, two adults plus healing power to support us from the Divine Level. Joe’s Celestial Guidance Team, and mine, are there in the background as well. But we don’t need to consult them directly, any more than we need to beg Joe’s amazing, wonderful body to keep supporting him throughout his session.

Celestial Guidance Teams, like our physical bodies, have signed up to support us no matter what. Thanking them is appropriate. Including them in a daily meditation is great. But outsourcing life decisions to them, or obsessing over them as Most Important Authority Figure? Surely that choice is optional.

A ridiculous approach to a session of Energy Spirituality

What if Joe were to help me extra to cut a cord of attachment? Sometimes a well-meaning client will tell me where the cord is or how it feels or what is in it. Please, how ridiculous is that?

Joe, if you’re that big an expert, you don’t need me to facilitate your healing. Do your own. You have my blessing!

Other clients try a bargain basement approach with me, asking me, “List all my cords of attachment in order of what is worst, and tell me where each cord is located. Then I can do the cutting on my own.”

Hey, I am happy when people learn how to do a quality job of cutting a cord of attachment. I have gone to great trouble, spent loads of time and energy etc. on publishing “Cut Cords of Attachment: Heal Yourself and Others with Energy Spirituality.”

I also volunteer to do this blog, aiming to encourage and support readers — leaders. I’m all about helping you, Blog-Buddy, to explore the emerging field of Energetic Literacy, including techniques of Aura Healing and Transformation.

However, I do not do sessions and workshops etc. to rubber-stamp whatever a client has stumbled upon or made up  in the context of cords of attachment. If you know much at all about my trademarked system, 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment, you will know that, for technical reasons:

1. It would be a big waste of time to describe what is in a cord of attachment before that cord has already been cut. Let’s not put the cart before the horse in healing.
2. If you can’t locate a cord of attachment on your own, you don’t have the skills yet for cutting it on your own.
3. Once you do the Human-Level part and choose which cord of attachment you would like to cut, then it is time to allow me to facilitate the healing for you.
4. One reason the 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment brings about permanent healing of any cord is that it is NOT done by consulting with Astral-Level guides, a practical point which brings us to…

The apprentice approach to cutting a cord of attachment

Let’s say you want to learn how to cut cords of attachment. You have been working with my how-to book. Or you are taking my annual weekend “Cut the Cords” workshop May 21-23. Or you have been doing phone sessions of mentoring with me to help learn this skill set. 

From that perspective, you might use a session of Aura Healing with Rose Rosetree as a kind of apprentice opportunity. You speak and act like a regular client. Simultaneously, in the background, you are listening and observing. Besides receiving the healing from your session, you can benefit from the decades of experience I have had as a professional in the field of Energy Spirituality.

Great!

As part of this being more involved, technically, with how the session works, pay attention to all 12 Steps to Cut a cord of Attachment. Doing this, you would never, ever ask spirit guides what they think is “right” about which cord of attachment to cut. You would never test me to find out if I confirm this, any more than you would test your guides to find out if they predict what I’ll say.

Instead, you would know that the healing method I teach (and use) is designed to position the healer’s consciousness to co-create with the Divine Level. That includes techniques I give you, right in “Cut Cords of Attachment” about how to evaluate if a cord is worth cutting. (See Step 6.)

Also included is a complete method for co-creating with the Divine in order to permanently remove a cord of attachment.

In that how-to book, you will read in several places – expecially the final chapter – why it would be ludicrous to ask an Astral-Level being to be in charge, in any way, of cutting an Astral-Level cord of attachment. (Hint: Energy Sandwich.)

Conclusion

In this article, I’ve used an example that I know well, considering the work I do. But the problem of outsourcing life comes up in just about every kind of work and every walk of life.

Never would I want to be in the position of shoulding a Blog-Buddy. I’m just aiming to raise consciousness about what, to me, is the biggest problem in all of New Age culture as it exists today.

Sometimes I call it, “The Romance of the Astral.”

There is a time for every kind of spiritual seeking. You are the authority in your life, deciding what to pursue and what matters most. There can be months or years or a whole lifetime devoted to asking your guides, “Tell me what I am supposed to do.”

Or you might just think, “Hey, I have a human life, not just a life as a World Server.”

Furthermore, you might think, “I’m the human in this team. I am the CEO of my Celestial Guidance Team. So, from now on, I’m going to make my own decisions.”

When you need a special bit of wisdom, or you choose to work as a World Server, you might think, “Sure, I can channel Astral-Level beings. But I also have the right to co-create, as needed, with God or Divine Beings.”

And is life at Earth School amazing or what? Decide what you like for as long as you like. Whatever your choice, you’ll be supported.

When you began to have true literacy with regular old words on a page or a street sign, golly! As an adult, if you’re lucky, you’ll have a close encounter of the adorable kind with someone who is newly literate.

The kid will be reading constantly, picking out letters or words. Yelling and wiggling with glee! For that short, thrilling era, the kid’s sense of self is all about literacy.

What happens with developing energetic literacy?

The energetic kind of literacy is a big deal, too. Even if we’re not at the puppy-like, wiggly stage in life. (I just have a hunch that most of you Blog-Buddies are over seven years of age.)

Every major discovery in life has impact on a person’s sense of self. With energetic literacy, this can be tricky at any age.

Energetic literacy starts with an awareness of energy, any kind of energy — be it spiritual light or seeing flashes of light or noticing (like Blog-Buddy Suzanne) that you can have clairaudience and hear inner truth and that real-life clairaudience need be nothing like being Joan of Arc hearing voices.

At the beginning of energetic literacy, there is delight. For many people James Redfield’s The Celestine Prophecy opened up that beginner stage awareness of energy.

Many people who are interested in aura reading are stuck right at that beginner stage and don’t realize they could move forward into true energetic literacy. Instead they say things like:

• I feel the energy
• The energy is good
• Good vibrations
• I get/ I pick up/ I feel from the energy that….

Then they think they can read auras or know all they need to know about energetic literacy.

Alas, this counts as “nice try.” It’s akin to a kindergartener who picks up a picture book and “reads” it. Of course most of us go through that stage on the way to regular literacy, only we don’t usually stop there. Society is too thoroughly soaked in literacy for us to think we have the whole skill set.

For instance, the street sign on your corner isn’t just “cute,” as with kindergarten literacy. It reads “Brainy-head Street” or whatever. With regular literacy, you don’t take a good guess.

Full energetic literacy means that you have access to detailed information. You can read auras in depth and detail. You can do it whenever you like. You use the gifts that God gave you, plus skill sets.

Why bother? You can use that energetic literacy to learn the truth about people, improve self-knowledge, facilitate depth healing, be a smarter consumer when hiring a healer to help supplement your own efforts. You can read auras when you watch TV or see movies or screen dates on the internet or check out photos of anyone.

Energetic literacy isn’t an obsession, any more than regular literacy. It’s a skill set you use for short periods of time, as needed. And the rest of the time you do other things. No more an “always” thing than brushing your teeth all day long!

With full and balanced energetic literacy, you have a sense of self through all the activities of the day. You don’t become overly identified with this kind of reading, any more than tooth brushing or reading words on a screen.

A Gutenberg-style shift into energetic literacy

If you look back over the last millennium — so tempting to do now, right? Literacy picked up steam with the Gutenberg bibles and, later, the first crude printing of broadsheets and, later, newspapers and, soon, mere centuries later, schoolchildren like us were all given the chance to learn reading.

In this third millennium, I believe that we’re going to have a similarly near-universal energetic literacy to supplement the other kind. Only catch…

It hasn’t happened yet. Also….

You, Blog-Buddies, are among the leaders with this new kind of literacy, like it or not.

So you may have few role models yet for developing energetic literacy in a healthy way.

Reasons to become energetically literate

Oh, there are so many benefits to being able to read the who-you-be about anyone you like. Can you remember your path of development, motivation, discoveries? COMMENT below, because these are important historical documents of interest.

In future generations, this will seem amazing. By then, parents will teach their babies the first understandings and energetic literacy skills will be taught to everyone. That means full energetic literacy, not just the picturebook kindergarten version.

For me, you can follow the progression of interests in the history of my trademarked systems:

1. Face Reading Secrets(R), energetic holograms of the soul slowed-down into physical form.
2. Aura Reading Through All Your Senses(R), with 100+ techniques for energetic literacy, practical applications galore
3. 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment(R), using energetic literacy to facilitate permanent healing, the removal of STUFF
4. Empath Empowerment(R), where energetic literacy helped me to understand the subtle dynamics of Unskilled Empath Merge and what to do about it.

Discovered through energetic literacy, becoming a skilled empath

It’s no accident that the first system for developing skilled empaths in book form, Empowered by Empathy, was developed by someone with energetic literacy. In Become the Most Important Person in the Room, I used energetic literacy even more to make it relatively easy to use consciousness to strengthen the sense of self in ways the empaths  need.

Regaining a full, human sense of self is the essence of becoming a skilled empath. And, as Blog Buddy Suzanne commented recently, sometimes it’s time to start the process again, yes!

You can go through the techniques in either of these books, upgrade your sense of self enormously. Then, if you feel that your gifts as an empath aren’t yet turned OFF effortlessly in everyday life (including when you’re with troubled people), please, congratulate yourself on how far you have come. And go farther.

Go back to either book and do the techniques again, in sequence. Read the concepts, which will make more sense as you develop a more integrated version of your human self. That’s a higher degree of learning, built into each how-to book.

Keep cycling through, developing the skill set called Empath Empowerment — or becoming a skilled empath. At each level of development, you will strengthen your personal, human sense of self.

Energetic literacy can confirm that, if you wish. So can your surface-level experience of being YOU.

Overwhelmed by energy? That’s a choice.

The degree of your skill, or talent, does not have to be proportional to your degree of overwhelm. Today, many newbies are either showing off or suffering or moving into a state I have called “Spiritual Hypochondria” elsewhere at this blog.

For example, Blog-Buddy Gladys wrote:

“I have had very strong physical feelings of the cords for the last 10 years. I know when my boss is angry, anxious or insecure even when he is hundreds of miles away.”

It’s hard to know exactly what is going on here without having Gladys be my client in a personal session. By doing a Skilled Empath Merge, then detailed readings of some of her most relevant chakra databanks, I could find out the inner energetic experience underlying the words. And then I could facilitate helping her. Energetic literacy plus skill sets for healing to the rescue!

Here, just commenting on the level of concepts, I can share this. Something is wrong.

Having strong “physical” feelings from cords of attachment means something is off-kilter. Gladys may well be stuck in a confused state where, whatever her degree of energetic literacy, she has lost a balanced, healthy sense of self. Instead, she is identified with energies in life. She might even be going through the stage I call “Spiritual Addiction.”

Certainly, with a balanced sense of self and full energetic literacy, Gladys would never “feel” cords. Cords of attachment affect human life, and can be expressed in human terms, such as feeling powerless at handling conflict or having loads of emotional ups and downs.

There is no earthly reason to go around feeling cords of attachment. If you suspect a cord of attachment may be a problem, either use a quality method to cut the cord for yourself or have a session with a healing professional who has that skill set.

As for feeling what is going on with your boss, or anyone else — that’s a definite problem as well. And, with all respect to Gladys, the cause might not be a cord of attachment at all. There could be psychological projection or other psychological problems, all healable. There could be problems related to being an unskilled empath and doing frequent Unskilled Empath Merges.

A popular line of thinking, these days, is to go a step further and blame the boss for being an energy vampire, psychic vampire, narcissist. One could think in terms of emotional blackmail or psychic attack. And, in my experience as a healer, all of these are extremely, extremely rare. Instead, the problem is usually related to the complainer’s sense of self, which has become weak or out of balance.

Certainly, it’s important to regain a full and stable sense of self. Gladys also wrote this:

“There is an energy in my solar plexus that makes me feel like someone has invaded my private meditation. I often begin to shake or shudder.”

If over-identifying with energy gets to the point where you are physically shaking or shuddering, the problem is severe. Run, don’t walk (or fly), to the nearest psychotherapist or practitioner of Energy Spirituality or other respected healer.

Ann Landers famously wrote, “Nobody can take advantage of you without your permission.” That includes having the energetic side of life take over the rest of your personality or your physical body. As you move into a strong sense of self, plus having full energetic literacy, the very real problems courageously described by Gladys simply will not happen.

Quick! Here’s a short multiple choice quiz on the topic of improving your relationships:

Your degree of comfort in your closest relationships right now depends most on which one of these?

 1. How cute you look, especially that manicure

2. Whether or not your significant other is secretly an energy vampire

3. The skilled use of your talents

Aha! You guessed it, right? Having talents in life don’t mean owning static objects, like trophies on a shelf.

Talent that requires skill, if you want to be happy

Skill is particularly vital if you were born with talent as an empath. “Empath” is defined thus:

You have at least one lifelong gift for directly experiencing what it is to be another person.

One of the most important differences between those who do, and don’t, have energetic literacy is the ability to recognize if someone is an empath.

That’s different from being an HSP, a Highly Sensitive Person. HSPs have nervous systems that are highly tuned, making the person more aware energetically, socially, sexually, in every other way.

That would be 1 in 5 people. Whereas empaths are 1 in 20 people.

Sometimes, just understanding about what it means to be an HSP is enough to make a big difference in life. So you can go to websites for HSPs, like http://highlysensitive.org/ or www.hsperson.com, pick up a few screen-fuls of tips and you’re well on your way.

Being an empath is different. It is not simply a way of being in the body, where you need to know it’s okay to have what you have. Every empath has talent, and unless that talent is used with skill, it’s likely that the empath’s life is going to be more-or-less miserable.

Skills of Empath Empowerment

When you’re merely talented, not yet skilled as an empath, there is a lifelong problem of taking on STUFF from others. Every empath is an HSP (not the other way around). But the problems can’t be explained by sensitivity.

In my latest book for empaths, Become The Most Important Person in the Room, I go into detail, complete with diagrams, about Unskilled Empath Merges. These happen routinely until an empath gets skill.

Having skill means that you turn your gift(s) OFF most of the time. This becomes a habit.

You turn your gift(s) ON only by choice, to the degree you want, for a short period of time. Click here for FAQs about Empath Empowerment, incidentally.

Otherwise, you’re moving in and out of your significant other’s auric field. Someone with energetic literacy may describe your aura, as a not-yet-skilled empath, as vulnerable or, even, weak. Boundaries to that aura grow firmer with skill at how you use your consciousness. It has absolutely nothing to do with trying to firm up boundaries in social relationships, an approach most empaths have tried. (Unsuccessfully.)

Boundaries from the perspective of energetic literacy

Boundary work helps non-empaths, but it doesn’t help empaths. Because the consciousness of an empath will merge with others, regardless of social attempts to control self.

What if you tell your pushy co-worker, Zorro, “Stop eating my food from the company fridge”?

That’s a social boundary. Your choice is perfectly fair and sensible and even delicious.

But this social boundary setting has zero impact on what happens with your aura. You could be an unskilled empath, having the tricky talk with Zorro and the whole time you’re with him, unbeknownst to your conscious mind or his, you are moving in and out of his auric field, taking on his emotional hunger or STUFF related to thwarted power of whatever.

Nothing makes an empath skilled except, gulp! actually developing skills as an empath.

And it’s amazing how many relationship problems happen simply because an empath is moving in and out of the S.O.’s aura, picking up STUFF, but not helping that S.O. long term. (See our controversial earlier post about what, from the standpoint of energetic literacy, is required for healing to be permanent.)

Many of the worries people have about energy vampires, psychic vampires, narcissists, and emotional blackmail really stem from the weakness of an empath who doesn’t have skill yet.

If your self-esteem and sense of self had the weight of a feather, a whole lot of people would seem way too heavy, wouldn’t they?

How much fun is it, being with an unskilled empath?

My reason for asking this very bold question is that sometimes unskilled empaths assume their huge, merging sensitivity with a partner is a great gift.

We really need to re-think that one.

When a mother raises a baby, there’s a temporary time of being very merged together. This is appropriate, even required. All mothers do this, not just ones who were born as empaths.

Once we learn to hold up our heads, walk, talk, etc., we no longer need another person to anticipate our wishes. In fact, that’s the way of co-dependence (something that empaths can fall into before becoming skilled but, then, so can non-empaths).

Significant others of an empath are individual, grownup people. As such, they generally prefer to be treated that way.

One of the biggest gifts you can give your significant others is becoming skilled as an empath. In the language of Transactional Analysis, you can relate as Adult to Adult, not with your playing the role of a perpetual Parent with a perpetual Child.

Where exactly am I coming from? Usually my work involves Deeper Perception in the here-and-now, reading what is. Although I don’t generally make predictions, I can draw conclusions, based on what I’ve noticed in my life and with clients worldwide.

One cause for change in quality of life is that the vibrations of this planet keep moving higher, and the pace is accelerating.

Related to that, here are 7 Major Trends, as I see them coming.

1. Big, Healthy Egos

Over the past decade especially, many spiritual seekers have experimented with selflessness.

• Some gave over their personal power to God, to a guru, or to guides.
• Others asked a pendulum to decide where to go, what to do, whether to buy.  
• Out of love for God,  many people tried pushing away their personal wishes and feelings in order to be more detached or more Christ-worthy or, otherwise, good.

If you’ve ever been there, done that (and I have, only I managed to get that out of my system more in the 1970′s), you know the results.

Ouch! To be human gloriously means having a head, a heart, sexual organs, legs, arms, etc. That etc. includes having, and unapologetically using, your personal preferences as a human being.

Can we co-create with God, based on keeping that healthy, human ego? Of course. We will co-create better. In this new decade, expect to get that personal ego working properly. You’d better, because you’ll meet many others who do that.

2. Earth as a No B.S. Zone

Okay, it hasn’t happened yet. But old habits are dying hard, because consequences are speeding up as earth’s vibrations accelerate.

Making excuses doesn’t work very well any more. Karma (i.e., life consequences) come back too fast to be ignored.

Remember the housing bubble? When people talked themselves into buying homes they couldn’t afford, or tried to leverage their way into easy money, reality delivered an unforgettable wakeup call.

Paying attention to objective reality, making improvements to life based on that, is a trend to welcome. And after the horrible, frightening, or even tragic wakeup calls millions of folks have received, there may be incentive as never before to revisit reality-based concepts like “saving” and “spending.”

As vibrations rise, many people receive quick, negative consequences for denying reality. Consequences can show up as:

• Big relationship problems
• Financial problems
• Health problems

And although any of these could arise for reasons that don’t involve making excuses, excuses from the last decade may start wearing thin.

3. Taking New Responsibility for Inner Reality

At this writing, the term “narcissist” gets over 2 million hits on Google. Such is the enthusiasm with which many people today choose blaming over taking personal responsibility for frustration in their inner lives.

Yet what advantage has been gained by calling others “narcissists” or “energy vampires”? Years later, is there more or less feeling of security?

As the saying goes, “You can run but you cannot hide.” And for those who fear energy vampires and narcissists, more will always appear.

I predict that millions of people will stop making excuses in this particular way. Unfortunately the coming years may be rough on them until they get with the program. On earth, each of us is responsible for ourself.

It’s common for unskilled empaths to feel that people are bossy, toxic, narcissistic, etc. But methods are available for becoming skilled as an empath. You may know, for instance, about the system of Empath Empowerment(TM) and the new book, Become The Most Important Person in the Room: Your 30-Day Plan for Empath Empowerment.  

Again and again, newly skilled empaths have thanked me for the shift in their relationships. Those “energy vampires” and “narcissists” have stopped being such a factor.

Please note, I’m not saying that there are no “baddies” in life, or that you are obligated to love everyone. Skilled empath or not, you might find it helpful to clean out aura-level debris. You can be sure you now carry cords of attachment to folks who have hurt you, whether they have a fancy baddie label or not. Use a quality method and you can permanently move out energy stuck in your aura  — energy that, in the past, caused you to blame others for your problems.

In this new decade, more of us won’t just remember horrid close encounters of the worst kind with toxic people. We’ll take responsibility for moving out the STUFF they set off, STUFF that recycles 24/7 unless removed.

At the same time, people will continue what they have done long before terms like “energy vampire” were coined. We’ll use common sense in dealing with difficult people. And, supplemented by having clearer, cleaner auric fields, that kind of personal responsibility will go a long way toward making life better.

4. The Emergence of Energy Literacy

Sure, print journalism is in crisis. Books are doing okay, but this Christmas Amazon.com reportedly sold more e-books than hard copy ones.

Literacy has come a long way since the first Gutenberg Bible. (And a page from one of those Gutenbergs appears at the start of this post.)

In the second half of the last millennium, humanity moved from widespread illiteracy to more-or-less universal ability to read print words. Excellent!

Well, in this third millennium, we’re going to see a similar expansion, but for energy literacy.

• Some folks will stay at the level of “picking up vibes” or merely distinguishing “good energy” from “bad energy.” In literacy terms, that’s like reading picture books.
• Most people, and certainly leaders, are going to become skilled at aura reading, truly energy literate. They will learn how to read auras in depth and detail.

I believe that aura reading may even come to be recognized as a survival skill in the third millennium. Look for huge expansion of this from 2010–2019.

5. Graduating from Kindergarten

What will be required for human beings to develop universal literacy at the level of auras, much as we have it (more or less) at the level of written words? 

Humanity’s needs to graduate from kindergarten-level ideas about auras.

No, auras are not just “colours that people see if they have The Gift.” 

Auras are three-dimensional bodies, made of electromagnetic energy, full of information. Some components stay during a lifetime, but mostly auras evolve. Anyone, and I mean anyone, who wants to spend some time and study with a proper teacher can learn to become a good aura reader.

Not that different from learning the other kind of literacy, right? 

If you want to learn more about the second millennium “Myth about Auras,” you might get a chuckle from the debunking section of my how-to book, Aura Reading Through All Your Senses. 

Aura reading means receiving information, just as reading books means receiving information. Back in the day, someone could look at a Gutenberg Bible and “see the colors” but, as widespread literacy became the norm for humanity, that stopped being the standard, didn’t it?

6. Exit Pundits, Enter Self-Authority

The Age of Rush Limbaugh is ending. All the media pundits (and I’m very fond of some of them, such as Mark Shields and Doris Kearns Goodwin), may still have their say. But in terms of large market share, they may have had their day.

The trend will not only develop because of a splintering of media markets or the rise of the blogosphere. Increasingly, people know their own minds. Self-authority means valuing your own personal opinion as a human being.

Energy literacy can help. Cutting cords of attachment can help. Empath Empowerment(TM) can help.

One skill set at a time, human beings are learning how to release what doesn’t serve them energetically. And do you think for a minute that the 14 million cheering fans of Rush Limbaugh have been thinking for themselves a whole lot?

Hint: They’re not called “Dittoheads” for nothing.

7. A Far Higher Incidence of Enlightenment

Spiriual Enlightenment has been sought for thousands of years. And some have achieved it, but not nearly as many as those who have tried.

Aura reading should be required reading for anyone with a serious interest in Enlightenment. In my experience, aura reading (or skilled empath merge) are the best ways to sort the wheat from the chaff, the wannabes from the have-it’s.

My definition of Enlightenment is this:

All of that person’s gifts of the soul are working properly. Otherwise, his/her aura is free from STUFF.  And one chakra databank after another is based on qualities like peace and bliss.

Note: To be accurate, this assessment of an Enlightened aura can’t be based on a general “good vibe” version but requires the abilility to do full aura readings. That would include surveying a wide variety of the hundreds of chakra databanks throughout that person’s energy field.

Otherwise a person could be very, very evolved, doing exceedingly well, but not quite there. A person could certainly consider himself or herself spiritually Enlightened, but not be quite there.

So far, I have found only 15 people with auras that I would consider spiritually Enlightened. One of them, Jeffrey Chappell, has been read on this blog.

What’s encouraging, though, is that collectively there has been such progress in people’s auras over this decade. Techniques of Energy Medicine, Energy Psychology, and Energy Spirituality have helped millions to identify their STUFF at the level of aura and move those problems out.

We’re going to find a lot more of that, I believe. In consciousness, humanity is moving together toward Enlightenment. And what could be more hopeful, or exciting, or meaningful, than being part of that?

Of course, I can answer all Lisa’s questions about narcissists. Nobody knows better than me. I am the very best narcissism question-answerer in all the world.

Okay, that’s supposed to be a narcissism joke.

A tricky narcissism joke at that, because that opening salvo (highlighted in red) could be the words of a narcissist. But the speaker could also be a braggart, a world-class authority, or have some other reason for responding in that diva-like way. So that speaker wouldn’t be a narcissist at all.

No, you can’t tell a narcissist from how he/she speaks/writes. Nor can you tell from surface behavior, not until you have observed way too much of it. By the time you figure out that your spouse is a narcissist, for instance, it could be a little too late for comfort.

• Face Reading won’t tell you who is a narcissist, much as I love Face Reading. Because Face Reading reveals talents and potential challenges as inscribed (by God, with human help) on each face. Narcissism isn’t a mere challenge in life. It’s a personality disorder, a basic organizing principle for someone’s way of being human.

But other specialties that I use regularly CAN provide useful perspective on narcissism:

• Aura Reading — the ability every human being has to read people at the level of the human energy field. Everyone who wishes to read auras in depth and detail can learn how.

One teacher is me, with books like Aura Reading Through All Your Senses. (For Aura Reading resources, see LINKS at the end of this post.)

• Empath Merges, done with skill, can safely reveal the heart of a narcissist. Empaths — wow, that could be YOU! Since 1 in 20 Americans was born with at least one gift for directly experiencing what it is like to be other people.

If you’re an empath, that’s great. But being skilled as an empath is greater. Not only do you stop picking up STUFF from others’ aura, random infliction of misery….

Your training — at least if you learn my system of Empath Empowerment (TM) – will include learning how to safely turn your empath gift(s) all the way on, to greatly enhance your wisdom and also your service to others.

A Skilled Empath Merge can make it extremely obvious if someone is a narcissist. And, with proper training, you can do a Skilled Empath Merge from regular photos, including all those images we meet & greet daily online. Aura Readings can also be done easily from regular photos. (And, again, I direct you to LINKS for how I can help you gain both skills.)

• Energy Release Regression Therapy will also be mentioned in this post. By moving out frozen blocks of energy from your past lifetimes, it is possible to release patterns of being a narcissist. If the person wants to.

And the great part here is that some people really do want to. I’ve seen it happen with one client in particular. It’s not that ”Hannah” knew she was a narcissist. She suffered in other ways, which isn’t terribly hard to imagine, is it? The enjoyment of being a narcissist is over-rated. One session at a time, we were able to move out frozen blocks that caused pain for Hannah, and as a side effect she really did shift away from being a narcissist.

So I’ll be using the perspective of Energy Release Regression Therapy, as well, in this post. And, to learn more, you can nosh in that tasty LINKS section.

Great Questions About Narcissism

Today’s post was inspired by a series of great questions by Lisa V. You can read her questions about narcissists here. I’ll address them one by one. Feel free to comment at the end with YOUR answers. Or questions.

Is Narcissism a Matter of Degree?

Lisa asked: What variables do you find consistently in the auras of narcissists that confirm for you that they are a narcissist (or on the higher end of that continuum)?

What do I find, doing Aura Reading or Skilled Empath Merge? What caused me to conclude in previous blog posts that Sarah Palin, Paris Hilton, and assorted others are narcissists?

There is only one make-or-break variable. Doing an Aura Reading or Skilled Empath Merge, you can direct attention wherever you like. (I call it research.)

If you have the slightest suspicion or curiosity about narcissism, explore a heart chakra databank like “Connecting emotionally to other people” or “Interest in other people.”

A narcissist has none.

That simple.

Variations on the theme can be fascinating, or depressing, or both. Quite clearly, a narcissist just isn’t interested in other people, except as human versions of Seven Eleven. You know, convenience stores.

Is there a continuum of narcissism in this way? Nope. Either people are interested in others or they are not.

You may know that the model I use for Aura Reading or Skilled Empath Merge, also for helping to HEAL problems in clients, goes like this:

• Your aura contains major chakras where the information about you is especially concentrated.
• Every major chakra contains 50 different Aura Reading databanks. (Minor chakras contain many of them, too.)
• Each Aura Reading databank contains two different types of information.
• There is a gift of your soul, something great about you and how you do life. You have this gift for life, indelible as a fingerprint.
• There is also (possibly) (Sigh! usually) STUFF. That means accumulated debris on the level of auras. This Astral-level debris could be from cords of attachment, frozen blocks of energy, random forms of astral debris healed by techniques of Spiritual Cleansing and Protection, such as over 1,000 astral entities who were removed yesterday in one session I had with a client.
• STUFF can always be healed.

When you have done a bunch o’ Aura Reading and Skilled Empath Merge, you’ll be able to recognize the rather chilling quality of a heart chakra turned cold. This isn’t a matter of degree. Either you find an ice cube quality there or not.

How Best to Communicate with a Narcissist?

Lisa noted: I am curious because I have had a lot of experiences in which I later came to understand (and am still continuing to understand…) that the other person I was dealing with, was narcissistic. I couldn’t use the regular rules/ways of resolving problems, because narcissists are SO different from the thoughts/feelings/ways more regular people see themselves and the world.

It can, indeed, be a strange and continuing education, dealing with a Narcissist. It’s true that the regular rules won’t help you to resolve problems. In that way, you can be thankful for every Narcissist you have encountered. All of us need to learn a very basic rule about life here at Earth School:

 Everyone else is NOT “just like me.”

We expect that. But it doesn’t happen.

One reason why it can be so useful to do Deeper Perception techniques is that it can break you of this very limiting habit, expecting others to have “regular rules” of any kind.

Face Reading is an excellent way to start appreciating Otherness.

Aura Reading and Skilled Empath Merge will bring home the messages, too.

If you don’t want to go deep but simply stay on the comfortable, shallow surface of life, when something doesn’t work behaviorally, pay attention.

Then choose how you’re going to problem solve.

Personally, I would stop at that first roadblock experience with a Narcissist, then do an Aura Reading, and figure out what the trouble is. Then devise a strategy. That strategy relates to the next part of Lisa’s question.

Do Narcissists Have the Power to Squash Your Self-Esteem?

Lisa continues: The PAST (! : ) experiences I have had with narcissistic people is that I have taken the “blame” for  problems in our “relationship” (If you could call the one- sided interactions that narcissists are capable of a relationship!?). It was awful for my self-esteem.

Oh, blame is soooooooo optional. Question any relationship where you wind up blaming yourself. Then figure out what you can do differently. (Which might include ending the relationship.)

If you do Aura Reading or Skilled Empath Merge, you can find out more about what’s going on. And the purpose need not simply be to spot a narcissist.

For instance, consider one type of session I offer for Aura Healing and Transformation. It is “Building Social Skills” with the benefit of Aura Reading. My client, say it’s Gladys, makes note of a few specific situations that have bothered her. In session, she summarizes one of them. Say that Hannah, her friend at work, staged a confrontation that caused Gladys to blame herself.

Of course, Gladys owns the full memory of the interaction subconsciously and aurically. After she describes the incident, I can do Aura Reading of both participants at the time of the incident, reading any chakra databank in her aura and in Hannah’s aura. This gives feedback about what was really happening, in great detail.

Then we can pursue problem solving, exploring things to say and do to create different outcomes. Along the way, I can read how these choices would affect my client’s aura. We’re talking insight here, of course, not predictions. But those insights can make it possible for my client to develop social skills that weren’t used previously. And sometimes those insights can bring very helpful surprises.

Maybe there has been blaming related to Narcissists or Psychic Vampires, which I find to be at least as common a problem as dealing with people who really qualify as Narcissists or Psychic Vampires.

The Trap Around Narcissists and Psychic Vampires

If you’re not using Deeper Perception, or you’re not taking personal responsibility for your life, Narcissists and Psychic Vampires pose a very real threat.

Why? Because every time you feel a strong negative emotion, such as blame, you can tell yourself, “Poor me, the victim of a Narcissist or Psychic Vampire.”

Very, very few people really are Narcissists or Psychic Vampires. Very many people have seized on such labels today. It’s such a convenient way to explain away problems. Another popular label is “I’m under Psychic Attack.”

From my perspective doing a lot of Aura Reading and Skilled Empath Merges, I’d urge you to question that kind of labeling. (Lisa is not someone who would do this, by the way. That’s why her questions are so good.)

It’s appealing to label people, blame them, or decide they pose a threat so you should just cut them out of your life. “Sure, tell me about 12 different kinds of Psychic Vampire. Then I can become an expert on why other people are bad, which will protect me from all disappointment in life.”

As if!

Granted, sometimes it’s wise to end a relationship because the give-and-take isn’t favorable for you. You can give yourself permission to do this for any reason; it isn’t necessary to drag in the idea of being a Narcissist or Psychic Vampire.

On your own, you can heal STUFF that diminishes your give-and-take. STUFF can cause you to blame yourself regardless of whether you have encountered that relatively rare creature, a Narcissist or Psychic Vampire.

Taking personal responsibility is far more empowering, isn’t it? Especially because once STUFF is released, it is gone permanently. Cords of attachment act like STUFF factories, generating problems 24/7. When they’re properly cut, they will never return. Period.

Can Narcissism Be Healed?

Lisa’s final pair of questions was so great, too: I am guessing that narcissism is also a mental illness that gets passed down through  generations in a family?? Is there a spiritual way of understanding this???

Problems run in families. Who hasn’t noticed? Yet I do bring another perspective, based on Aura Reading and Skilled Empath Merges and, especially, facilitating all those sessions of Energy Release Regression Therapy.

People incarnate with life contracts and usually choose their birth parents carefully. People might well choose to learn lessons around narcissism and incarnate into a family that promote that type of education.

But any idea that emotional and spiritual STUFF is purely hereditary goes against my experience as a healer. Physical patterns may be different. I’m not an expert at physical healing. And when I define STUFF as something that always can be healed, that’s possible because I do NOT include physical problems. An amputated leg, after all, is not a form of STUFF that can be healed.

If you were judging people based on behavior, rather than Aura Reading or Skilled Empath Merges, you might unfairly call someone a narcissist. Gladys might seem self-absorbed due to STUFF, but her heart yearns to connect with others.

Even someone who really is a narcissist, like Hannah, has good reason for showing up that way on the level of Aura Reading and Skilled Empath Merges. When she moves out frozen blocks of energy, caused by fear and pain and anger from the past, guess what? She goes free. Even STUFF that causes pathology can be healed.

 What’s the practical point, if YOU have been accused of being a Narcissist or you seem to have a family chock full ‘o Narcissists? Free will is the most powerful force on earth. And the only who can wield that mighty power to make your life better is… YOU.