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Deeper Perception Made Practical

Narcissists

 

On a previous thread, Ryan raised a very interesting question:

Mainstream thinking claims that certain types of people such as narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths cannot be “cured”.

I am curious what you think about such people who are typically considered beyond help and how much you have worked with such people and what kind of results were obtained.

Many personality disorders can’t be healed because people think they’re fine the way they are and, therefore, don’t seek help. When things in life go wrong, they’re quick to blame and to judge. Changing doesn’t seem desirable because other people seem to be “the problem.”

Recognizing this isn’t just mainstream thinking, Ryan. Trained psychotherapists will tell you the same thing. But here’s where your question becomes really interesting to me. There are still many important healing opportunities around narcissists etc. and, yes, I have had experience with successfully helping some of them.

SPOTTING NARCISSISTS, SOCIOPATHS, AND PSYCHOPATHS

The easiest way to spot a personality disorder, by far, is to read the person’s aura.

Empaths, caution! Of course, you know not to turn your gifts ON unless you have first read the person’s aura, right? Because it would be foolish to purposely do an unskilled empath merge with someone who has major emotional or spiritual problems. You would open yourself up to taking on that person’s fear, pain, worries, rage, etc. (This aspect of self-protection alone is reason enough to read Empath Empowerment in 30 Days and learn to turn your gifts OFF most of the time. As you may know, unskilled empaths do Unskilled Empath merges with anyone within spitting distance, picking up problems as a matter of course and holding the STUFF in their own auras.)

Each person’s aura is distinctive, so the range of experiences with personality disorders that you can find as an aura reader puts the DSM classifications (used by mental health professionals) to shame. There are so many variations on what can go wrong within a person in terms of STUFF.

While labels like “narcissist” serve a purpose, they don’t do justice to an evolving soul, so I prefer to think of people as having very individual configurations of STUFF. When people come to me for personal sessions of Rosetree Energy Spirituality, they don’t ask me to diagnose their pathology. They just ask for help, and I give it as best I can.

Thus, I have helped some people who might be considered narcissists by cutting cords of attachment. Parents, lovers, etc. can add to anyone’s troubles. Narcissists may particularly relish hearing about cord items where the cordee was at fault, but I read out ALL the cord items, including ones from my client. One session at a time, I do what I can to help the client to grow.

Someone with a personality disorder may show a very limited interest in sessions because they mostly want confirmation that they are fine, others are to blame, etc. I think of one face reading session I did for “Johnny,” a young and handsome TV star whose intention couldn’t have been clearer. Even though he never said it outright, here’s what he wanted: “Tell me how perfect I am. Then tell my future and predict that I will have everything that I want.”

Ignoring this tacit invitation, I just did the typical nuanced Life Potential Face Reading, with each face trait related to a talent and also a life lesson, with spiritual mission discussed at the end, and facial attributes related to it.

Johnny was pretty disgusted.

THE “NARCISSISTS” WHO AREN’T

Anita made a number of fascinating points in her latest two comments at this blog. It is all too easy to call someone else a “Narcissist” because that person has failed to please us. RES Energy READING can make the difference between assuming that someone is deeply troubled vs. identifying real STUFF.

Calling people narcissists or blaming them for your troubles is not the approach of an empowered person. Truth is, nobody in your life now has the power to hold back your happiness, health, or wellbeing, nobody but you.

Today it is trendy to blame people for being narcissists, or to fear “psychic attack” or “energy vampires.” But if you’re really aiming at a fulfilling and self-actualized life, do you really want to waste your time with excuses like these?

  • Better to avoid those unproductive relationships, cut your cords of attachment to them, and move on. As described in depth in Let Today Be a Holiday, you can create “Family of Choice” to replace “Family of Blood.” Connect with the people who please you; free will can take you there.
  • And better to read people deeper and spot the sociopaths than to keep engaging with them,  expecting that, somehow, you’re going to save them. That’s what Deeper Perception is for, folks! In Read People Deeper, you have the tools to spot liars, alcoholics, etc. so that you can make better choices about which relationships are worth a big investment of your time, feelings, etc.

Beyond finding pathologies in others, it’s very revealing when a person spends a lot of time worrying about narcissists, psychopaths, and such. Maybe that complainer, like Ryan, has dealt with the past and move forward. But, alternatively, could that complainer be very self-involved, deeply enmeshed in the process of recovery, or taking a personal trip that involves exploring the wonderful and fascinating world of victimhood?

You may know some people who are spending years that way, having few friends outside the realm of fellow sufferers, holding a very subjective view of life and not terribly effective in the objective world, not yet.

It’s a stage, that’s all. And there’s no harm in it, long-term. But the irony is that such a person might well seem to others to be…. a narcissist. I have helped many clients in this category, and they’ve done well.

RELEASING NARCISSISM FOR GOOD

Working with clients, I have found that there are many approaches to releasing STUFF that might seem like narcissism to others. Recently I facilitated a Spirit Removal for a client who might have appeared to be highly self-involved; he just knew he was suffering terribly, and by the end of the session, he had really come up from under a cloud. Cutting cords of attachment, healing astral debris — using skill sets that I teach in many different intensives, you can make a difference for people considered to have personality disorders. I have had the privilege of doing this often.

But if I were going to name one technique that I use most frequently to release deep character problems, it would be Soul Energy Awakening Hypnosis®. This is a method that enables you to remove frozen blocks of energy from the level of cells. I learned these techniques from Dr. Coletta Long. (At my website, you’ll find many articles that go into detail about this distinctive method of hypnosis and regression.)

True, I have had some clients who never made it past their first regression. Moreover, during their initial interview, it became clear that THEY could be considered people with personality disorders. And their relish in talking about themselves was not matched by their interest in healing. Still they received as much healing as they were ready for.

I think of “Fred,” who didn’t return for a second session (not yet, anyway). Fred was quite severely troubled. During his first regression, he went in deeply and removed many frozen blocks of energy. At one point, Fred cried quite a bit. After the session was over, and we were talking, Fred looked at me indignantly and said, “But I NEVER cry.”

Never would be a very long time. What you’ll find, if you receive this type of healing session, is that probably you have had Perpetrator Lives where you were the narcissist or psychopath or sociopath. Even while triumphing over others, selling them into slavery, murdering them, or taking advantage of them sexually, etc., part of you felt guilty.

All the mixed emotions, together, from such experiences become stuck in frozen blocks of energy. I suspect that for everyone today who has suffered from being hurt by narcissists, there are many frozen blocks in that victim’s deep past, stuck energies that attracted the present problems, stuck energies that can be released one way or another.

So the most practical point to our discussion — to me — is that you’re responsible for your life, for your healing. You are the point person. You have the power to rise above anyone trying to manipulate you, even if that “person” is just a shadow from your own past.

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  1. 1
    Anabela says:

    “Narcissism” is a loaded term full of semantic confusion and nuances.

    But honestly, I don’t think I ever met more than a handful of “narcissists.” “Pure” narcissists are rare. I think many people can be self-absorbed and overly subjective, but that is natural because we can only truly believe what our senses tell us! Until society, education, cultural conditioning, etc. tell us otherwise.

    I can think of 2 “pure” narcissists who have hurt me in a significant way, so significant that I have spent decades cleaning up the mess. I’ve done Regressions, and I do hope the whole theory of perpetrator lives is real and that I am merely doing karmic rebalancing. Otherwise, my suffering is not justified.

    Narcissist can be a harsh label for the average person, I think. For every self-absorbed individual, s/he may care for at least another person, who can bring the self-absorbed person to see there is another world beyond his/her solipsistic universe. There are varying degrees of narcissism, but pure narcissists are rare.

    I believe in individual responsibility, but I suspect that there is only so much one can do even with all the help available.

  2. 2
    Karin says:

    I think that many personality disorders do not only depend on the person concerned, but are also kind of created by education. For example I think that perverts frequently have been surrounded by people who use absurd and at the same time sadistic logic, and this deformates them into a similar kind of abnormity. Sometimes parents are also plain crazy.

  3. 3
    Lisa W. says:

    I have had past life therapy with Dr. Coletta Long to remove some of the frozen blocks of energy that Rose mentions in her post. This type of therapy is fascinating and helpful. What you learn about yourself can be really surprising.

  4. 4
    Lisa W. says:

    What are some ideas on how to interact with people who are true Narcissists (and that you can’t avoid)?

    How can you tell the difference between when someone like that intends to be caring and helpful, versus most of the time when they are just saying what they think you want to hear (and don’t really mean it)?

  5. 5

    Remember, LISA, you have Deeper Perception. It is to be used in everyday life, whenever you wish to know more about a person.

    So if you want to read the person deeper, read the face, read the aura. If the person’s aura makes it seem inviting to you, you could even go on (if you’re a skilled empath) and do an empathic merge.

    All the popular emphasis on narcissists, sociopaths, psychic vampires, etc. can be about being a victim. As in, “My ex hurt me because he was a sociopath” or “My parents hurt me because they were narcissists.” Many a new seeker will slap on the label, feel momentary triumph, and then so what?

    I’d recommend cutting the cord of attachment to that relationship, and if there still is a problem, cutting cords to similar types of relationship. And if there still is another level of problem, doing Soul Energy Awakening Hypnosis®. Or doing any other kind of healing practice that has meaning for you!

    In general, I don’t recommend special rules about dealing with people of a special pathology. Be as clear as you can in yourself. Pay attention to the people you like and those you don’t. If you want to learn more, read deeper. But don’t just read to diagnose a defect. Look for the aspects of life that matter to you, e.g., the 50 categories in READ PEOPLE DEEPER relating to truthfulness, power dynamics, sex, etc.

    As you learn more, use common sense to navigate your relationships, including how close you wish to be. Does that make sense to you?

  6. 6
    Anabela says:

    I was reading one of those espionage CIA books. The agents emphasize “trusting your gut instinct.” In the beginning it’s difficult – there is the trial-and-error phase, but after that the instinct is sharpened. So it’s sort of like Deeper Perception but CIA-style. Quite appropriate since Rose lives in the vicinity of 007s, lol.

    I think the most effective way to spot sociopaths/narcissists effectively is to actually experience being around them for a long period of time. In other words, you just have to go through the pain. I don’t think there is a lot of personal choice involved if such experiences are required by a life contract. So if you weren’t “meant” to be tormented by these types extensively, you probably won’t and probably won’t need to look out for them too much.

    After that, you just know something’s not right. And you earned the insight/perception.

    In the end, whether you are around a sicko or the world’s most marvelous person, it’s not supposed to affect you – you are supposed to bring back awareness to yourself, because you’re the most important person in the room, right? This very act leads to greater tolerance and self-authority.

    Being the most important person in the room is a high level of spiritual practice, which frustrates me since it seems to me that it is simply not accessible to the average person unless one works very hard spiritually.

  7. 7
    Anita says:

    Hi Anabela –

    I think it’s a level of awareness – and in particular I feel Rose’s post about “being the most important person in the room” was meant for empaths.

    Making yourself the most important person in the room doesn’t mean that you’ve made yourself more important than any other person in the room, it just means that you have turned your awareness to yourself, to honoring yourself as much as you honor others. Many empaths don’t do this naturally because we’re not naturally wired this way, the way that non-empaths are.

    Of course we’re affected by other people. But we don’t have to be tormented by them or allow that to affect how we choose to live our lives. That’s the take-away message I took from reading Rose’s post: Honor yourself, honor others. But don’t give yourself short shrift.

  8. 8
    Anabela says:

    Yes, I completely agree that bringing back awareness to oneself is a way of honoring the self and others. I believe this can improve the quality of life a great deal too. That is a minimum one can do.

    But I was really alluding to something bigger – just what do you do when overwhelming forces (powerful people, institutions, etc) control the choices you have in life? You got to play their game somewhat. Surrendering to the forces and hoping for the best seems to be the most viable way. But in the end how can one not have resentment? I think it’s “meant” to cause resentment because this resentment of the education of this particular lifetime. I find it all so absurd.

  9. 9
    Anita says:

    Hi Anabela –

    It really all depends on your viewpoint. Most of us don’t get everything we want at every moment, all the time. Even the most perfect job or perfect partner doesn’t please us 100% of the time. One just has to figure out what is worth tolerating in the greater scheme of things. It’s a cost-benefit analysis.

    E.g., I know many people who didn’t like playing “the corporate game.” So they decided to buy and run their own businesses, which was tremendously rewarding. But they had to take on the financial risk of becoming entrepreneurs – their independence didn’t come without a risk. Many of them worked much harder and longer hours as independent small business owners than they ever did working for corporate America. They didn’t have regular hours, had to buy their own health insurance, and had to learn how to do everything for themselves, including resolving employee disputes, since they no longer had a Human Resources department to go to.

    Some of them also went bankrupt. Many of them had to work in corporate America for years in order to save up enough money to be able to make a down payment and get a loan to buy a business.

    These were all huge sacrifices. And for those whose businesses went bankrupt, there was sadness.

    But these were choices they made. Many of them that I’ve spoken to still found the whole experience incredibly rewarding. Instead of conceding to the “overwhelming forces of corporate America,” they went out on a limb and invested in themselves. That internal locus of control empowered them not just in business, but in every other aspect of their lives. Just about everyone said it was worth the financial risk and the hard work and long hours.

    I hear the same thing from people who go back to school. Even in my field, I know people who have gone back to go to medical school in their thirties and forties.

    I think resentment in life comes from the things we *don’t* do. The things we don’t try. Every time I had the courage to do something that scared me, I have felt pride, empowerment. Even when I failed.

    I don’t see anything absurd in any of it. I think it’s been joyful, frustrating, wonderful, awful, rewarding, puzzling… But most of all, engaging. I find playing the game of life in this way to be incredibly rewarding.

    There are always choices. Doesn’t mean the choices won’t be hard or that there won’t be sacrifices. For those who go to med school, many take on hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt. That’s a choice that doctors-in-training choose to make in service of a greater goal.

    Nobody can ever take away your free will. Even if you’re imprisoned. Just look at Nelson Mandela. Or MLK, Jr., or Mother Teresa. Or Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton.

  10. 10
    kudzu fire says:

    more and more I try to see others as sources of spiritual light in the firmament.

    I try to see people as soft blue glows all around me

    gratitude and humility

  11. 11

    Aw, KUDZU FIRE, thank you for adding some real poetry to the blog. Really what you have summarized here are three different techniques. There are many sweet techniques like those you have summarized here. They have enormous beauty.

    However, I think you will be amazed if you use techniques of Deeper Perception to show you more about what the spiritual light within each person communicates all on its own.

    This is, after all, what happens with reading faces. Other ways to do this are aura reading and empathic merges.

    Every experience you have with these techniques helps to satisfy the kind of yearning that speaks so clearly in what you have written. And yet what you have written is also beautiful just the way it is.

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