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Why bless people, then?

 

 

Graciously, WHO just added a kind Comment #36 at a previous post, “You disgust me.” But blessings to you, of course.

WHO wrote:

Wow, interesting discussion. Just for the record, my comment wasn’t from anger…annoyance maybe. However, I don’t have to agree with someone to bless them or wish them well. Just like your clients don’t have to necessarily like/agree with/love you ( and you don’t have to like/agree with/love them) to work with you. I don’t think that signing off with a “Blessings” is an act of turning the other cheek or martyrdom. For the record, I don’t consider myself an New Ager..which I think is religious/cultish..but that is another matter.

Anyway, I apologize for offending you with my comment, Rose.

This was a great comment, wasn’t it? Thought provoking! Hence today’s post.

First, a question for WHO. Or YOU.

I’m still curious. And although this question is addressed to WHO, some of you might have answers for it on your own. So, to rephrase:

This is a question for all of you who sign off on emails with “Blessings” or end a phone conversation with this sort of language. So please do adapt the following question to YOUR situation and educate us all of us here at Deeper Perception Made Practical.

Understood: You don’t sign off with a “Blessings” to turn the other cheek. Or out of martyrdom. You don’t consider yourself a New Ager. So why bless people, then? Did they just sneeze? Is this like living in India and owning a laundromat that you name “Krishna” or a giving your gas station a sign like “Saraswati”?

I’m just curious, you know.

What about considering oneself “New Age”?

WHO doesn’t like being considered “New Age.” I do. How about the rest of you Blog-Buddies?

Yes, I definitely DO consider myself a New Age teacher and writer. Because I don’t think New Age has to be cultish. And it’s certainly not a religion. Try looking it up in a Yellow Pages Directory under “Religion.” You won’t find “New Age.” I’ve tried.

Not lately, of course. These days it would be hard to find a Yellow Pages Directory, right? 😉

“New Age” isn’t a perfect name, but this name is bigger than other specialized forms of language that I have gotten to name because I got there first, such as “chakra databanks,” “energetic hologram,” “energetic sub-routine,” etc.

Blessing others when you serve them

To me, the most interesting point raised by WHO is the part about “you don’t have to like/agree with/love [your clients] to work with [them].”

How do I feel about my clients? I DO love every client during a session. Usually like them, too. A lot.

One reason is that I get to read gifts of that client’s soul during a healing session or a session of aura reading research or (obviously) a session of Face Reading. Every session of RES Energy HEALING, I do a brief Skilled Empath Merge. How could I NOT care about these clients?

Another reason for liking them is how I get to know most clients pretty deeply in everyday human ways, as well. Some clients tell me things they have never told anyone. Sometimes I just learn about those things and tell them. That kind of comment, during a confidential session, brings a certain whoosh of deepening to a relationship!

For instance, once I cut Gladys’s cord of attachment to her husband and — oops! — found an incident of physical abuse. She had never told anyone.

True, Gladys’ husband “only” slapped her around one time. Yet this incident kept running through her subconscious mind and aura every day of her life. Until that session where we cut the cord of attachment.

When I read out the cord items, Gladys was stunned. Never had she told a soul about what had happened some 20 years before. She had no clue that this trauma would be stuck in the cord of attachment to her husband. Oops, that secret was out. And later she told me how much that particular session changed her life.

How do you feel about those you work with?

As I learn about people, helping them, I don’t just love them and like them. Often I admire them.

Just yesterday, one of my sessions was with Josephine. I facilitated cutting a cord of attachment to her father, Joe. This man would whip his daughter. Sometimes, if bored and lacking other entertainment, he would casually walk by and hit her. As for the sexual abuse, it began when Josephine was three. The last time he tried forcing himself on her, she was 34.

To casual observers, Josephine seems surprisingly normal as a person. After the removal of this ultra-disgusting cord of attachment she will, undoubtedly, seem even normaler.

To me, as someone with the privilege to facilitate this session, Josephine really IS astoundingly sane. She is also talented in many ways. Her talents shine more and more clearly with each session, as old STUFF is removed. Of course, Josephine is someone I admire, as well as like and love.

Yesterday, I helped five other clients, too. I won’t tell you all about their private stories but I will tell you this. I greatly admire, and like, and love, every single one of them. Not because I have some theoretical obligation to do so. How could I not feel that way about them, knowing them as well as I do?  (“Know them well” because every single one of them is a repeat client; there is a very high rate of “recidivism” among Rose Rosetree’s clients.)

On very rare occasions, averaging less often than once a year, I suppose, a client isn’t a good fit in terms of like/love. The client obviously doesn’t like me or I don’t enjoy that client. So I offer to terminate the session. Or, depending on how things are going, sometimes I will insist on terminating the session, giving my client a full refund and saying a straightforward “Goodbye.” But never an insincere “Bless you, my child.” I would make a really, really lousy pope.

A more polished healer might at least appear radiant, like the sun. Or intensely — even contagiously — benevolent. Although I may have had my moments of wishing I were like that, I’m just not that kind of healer or teacher. The best benevolence I can summon up as a healing professional, after firing a client, is to avoid sounding disappointed, shocked by my client’s extreme rudeness, etc. Rhonda Byrne would consider me eternally disqualified to earn money, I’m sure, since when saying this kind of goodbye I definitely am not smiling.

Luckily for my clients, and my own vanity or self-image, such occasions are (as I’ve noted) extremely rare.

If you were ever listening in to a typical session, WHO, you might be surprised at what a great time we have, how often we laugh, the joy all around.

It is so important to like or love or admire or enjoy people one works with on a regular basis. Does this happen with you Blog-Buddies?

That isn’t always the case, I know. My new book, “The Baby” (a.k.a. Magnetize Money with Energetic Literacy), is designed to help solve problems with work and making money, including a whole chapter dedicated to dealing with a workplace situation with people who are toxic.

As for people I do business with, I favor those I like or love or admire. Why wouldn’t I? Whether you call it “Voting with your dollars” or “Being in charge of your life,” of course I choose to do business with the people I most respect and enjoy.

  • Vanessa Rose, who runs my favorite hair salon ever, “Maude” in Herdon, Virginia — wow! I could devote entire, really gushy, blog posts to her magnificence. What a sanctuary she creates for her co-workers, apprentices, and customers!
  • Two of the librarians at my nearest library, I consider them just plain saints. Would it be discreet or naughty to name Marty the Smartie and Hugh? Oh, darn, too late now…
  • The guy who runs my local bank? I just adore him. (I think everyone does, actually.) Andrew Clarke is a spiritual lighthouse in the guise of the manager of Capitol One Bank in Sterling, Virginia.
  • Last week, I actually baked cookies for two ladies who work at my printing company: Tiffany and Brenda at McNaughton & Gunn. It was either cookies or buying each one a fancy new car, right? Because they had done such an outstanding job with Magnetize Money with Energetic Literacy.  Since I have been putting off upgrading my typesetting program for way too long, this manuscript had deep technical issues. These ladies worked above and beyond the call of duty. So there I was, baking cookies for the first time in maybe 10 years. Sadly, they were pretty awful cookies. I’m better as a cook than a baker, but who wants to UPS soup all the way to Michigan?

You get the idea. I don’t enjoy everyone I do business with quite this much, but when I have a choice about doing business, I ALWAYS make the best reasonable choices for companies and people. Besides having official “friends,” my days are graced by doing business with people I really like and respect and (though I don’t tell them so) love.

Have you discovered yet that you can do this, too?

What about blessing people?

This topic never occurred to me while putting together the blog post and comments around “You disgust me.” But blessings to you, of course. Funnily enough, usually I do bring in… a blessing… for a client.

See what I mean by funny? Before this morning, I didn’t make the connection, since this kind of “blessing” isn’t a casual remark. It is a technique called “Blessing of Light,” and is mainly created by God (or whoever else is my client’s choice of Divine Being for the session). (Instructions for doing this technique are in Cut Cords of Attachment, if you’re interested in experimenting with this kind of thing for yourself.)

Receiving a Blessing of Light is seriously helpful. Many a client has told me, “This is my favorite part of our sessions.”

Come to think of it, this may be one reason why I am sensitive about the casual use of the term, giving someone the equivalent of an empty tin can labelled “Blessings.”

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  1. 1
    Lara says:

    Very thought provoking

    I personally consider myself a New Ager, pick-and-mix style. I don’t follow one dogma so it isn’t culty for me. New Age to me is like a big arena filled with lots of stands, and some of them are culty and some not.

    I would like to be someone who unconditionally loves and blesses everyone.. one day. I imagine thats an advanced stage of Enlightenment (Maybe I’m wrong?).

    I can’t imagine sincerely wishing someone well in the throes of annoyance, so it always seems a bit insincere when I read it. Can a blessing coexist with annoyance?

  2. 2
    Amanda says:

    Hi Rose, this is all so interesting.

    I have an ongoing issue with something similar – an idea that I have to like and be polite to everyone I meet, and ‘make room’ for them.

    I have a wonderful bodyworker who identified it as a kind of ‘noblesse oblige’ idea.

    Obviously buried under that is lots of suppressed anger against the people I actually don’t like that much. At least I now realise how much it damages my natural personal radar.

    Perhaps training yourself into ‘blessing’ people who have annoyed you is just another manifestation of this. We’re so exhorted to be ‘nice’ in all circumstances and situations and on a spiritual path this idea is even more pandemic!

    I cannot wait to get rid of the fog, personally – I feel so much better when I operate naturally and don’t limit myself with ‘trying to make room’ for others or denying my authentic responses.

    Amanda

  3. 3

    AMANDA, in England this experience does make sense. Sadly, in America the degree of civility in public discourse is pretty zero-ish. Still, even here, some people may be trying really, really hard to be polite for much of the time. So what you’ve written here does seem relevant to much of the American, as well as British, “bludgeoning with blessings.”

    Incidentally, around here (in the Bible Belt part of America) we do have a very strangely something-else-related way of trying hard to be nice. It’s when people say, through gritted teeth, “I am richly blessed.”

    You don’t hear that around much where you are, do you?

  4. 4

    LARA, I think that pick-and-mix approach is the ESSENCE of New Age. Because the pursuit of truth is the real point of New Age, and (despite the attempts to sell “New Age Litany”) many dedicated New Agers — like quite a few Blog-Buddies here –simply aren’t being distracted in that way.

    As for blessing co-existing with annoyance, that IS an interesting question.

    Thanks so much for what you wrote.

  5. 5
    Anita says:

    I find this conversation very interesting. I do hear “blessings.” I also hear “love and light” and “peace” in e-mails, as well as simply “best.”

    I find “blessings” and “peace” to be particularly weird because, in my experience, they often seem to be said by people who feel they are “good Christians” or in some way spiritually or morally superior to others. The underlying subtext I really experience is “I don’t like you, but I’ll bless you anyway and that will cover up the fact that I don’t like you” or “I think you’re wrong and full of crap, but whatever, I’ll bless you anyway.”

    More benign versions of this that I have experienced are coworkers brightly smiling and saying, “Good morning, how are you?”, meanwhile not responding to my e-mails, cutting me off to get to a parking spot, letting the door close right in front of me rather than holding it open for me, and myriad other small insults. To me, it comes across as the energetic equivalent of, “You disgust me. But good morning – how are you?”

    I mean, really, why bother? From my perspective, none of it makes sense. Granted, I don’t people I disgust to spit in my face, hurl racial epithets at me, or assault me. But I experience their fakeness as some kind of minor energetic assault or transgression, as if they feel that by covering a cheap cake of fake filling with expensive and pretty (but very untasty) frosting, the cake can pass as a decent dessert. Honestly, who are they fooling? They’re not fooling the people who actually eat the cake. Maybe they’re only fooling the people who just look at the cake.

    So, perhaps blessing people is just about appearances then. But one can be just as polite and nice by simply passing someone by – without spitting at them, insulting them, or assaulting them. Co-existence is possible, with no words or blessings actually exchanged.

  6. 6
    Alexey Freedman says:

    Rose, this is a VERY inspiring post and I am delighted to have the opportunity to learn from you!

  7. 7
    Grace says:

    I’ve so enjoyed our recent thought-provoking posts, especially the way they cause ideas and insights to bubble up during the times when I don’t have time to write a comment.

    Regarding liking the people I work with and do business with — for years I’ve been quietly creating a life in which I only do business with or shop at places with people I enjoy. That includes grocery stores, all my health practitioners, my car guy, my vet, you name it.

    I left a very toxic work environment 5 years ago and while my current workplace isn’t perfect (what workplaces are?), I have managed to quietly carve out my schedule and duties such that I’m working with people I like and enjoy every day.

    I really do love my students, who bring me so much joy.

    I was realizing how these reflections tie in with the ‘blessings’ thread, especially after a conversation my students and I had at the end of our last class.

    One of the reasons I’ve always loved the teaching I do, English to international students, is because in dealing with these students and in seeing them interact with each other, I’ve always seen, in all the years I’ve worked with them, a priority on connecting. On addressing the humanity in each other and in me. Courtesy and respect and kindness, even without having loads of language with which to express it.

    It’s not that there aren’t rude or nasty people in other cultures or that there aren’t Americans who connect with each other. But what has struck me in my observations over the years and in answering my students’ questions about American behavior is that in American culture I think it can be pretty hit and miss in the connecting with each other’s humanity department.

    Which is partly why the whole ‘blessings’ thing annoys me so much. Perhaps it’s some kind of attempt to connect with the other person, but I’ve basically only sensed a lack of congruence, a going through the motions. Which is how we can wind up with ‘you disgust me, but I’ll bless you.’

    I’d love to have one of these snarky blessings people spend about 5 minutes with any of the Thai students I’ve taught over the years. The ones I’ve had the pleasure to work with are so steeped in Buddhism that each interaction with them is a blessing. Without calling attention to it or using any kind of religious-speak.

    I contrast these lovely experiences with my ex-husband, a minister, who tossed out the religious-speak regularly. I will spare you the details of the nastiness that went on behind his facade. It dawned on me the other day that those experiences have made me waaaay suspicious of the use of religious-speak in general, that calling attention to one’s spirituality in the ways we’ve been discussing.

    As always, I’m grateful for the opportunity to reflect on these topics!

  8. 8
    Anita says:

    Grace,

    Very beautifully expressed. I share exactly the same sentiments, but you put it so much more eloquently and tactfully.

  9. 9
    Amanda says:

    Hi Grace 🙂

    well, you just triggered something for me.. this idea of spending time with people you like and love and who like and love you!

    Isn’t it funny how things can be so unclear then become so very simple?

    I’m changing. Today i realised that my tai chi tecaher doesn’t like me and that I’ve been wasting a lot of energy thinking about it and wondering why.. so simple when I work out he just doesn’t like me!

    and so i can find a teacher who I like, and in that way make myself some more happiness 🙂

    Can I ask, did you go through a phase of feeling like there was quite a lot of loss? I’m withdrawing from a lot of not-so-great relationships and situations – having made a life I’m making another one.

    Tonight for example, I could be in London at the 40th birthday party of one of my oldest friends and instead I’m sitting at home. I’ve worked out she only ever gets in touch when she’s in trouble, and lots of the people at her party are druggy types. I spent the day at a tai chi seminar where I realised that my teacher actually goes out of his way to avoid me and his other students.

    I know I’m not being paranoid or depressive, because these feel like good strong thoughts, not ‘nobody loves me’ thoughts.

    I like the thought of carving out a life of liking and love. Thank you for that comment, Grace!

    🙂

    Amanda

  10. 10
    Amanda says:

    LOL, just to add I really wanted to sign that comment ‘A Turning Worm’ but I don’t think it’s a great name change!

    Amanda

  11. 11
    Anita says:

    Amanda,

    That is a great realization that you had – and an important one.

    Spending time with those we love – and who love us in return – is incredibly powerful. I feel it’s perhaps the most powerful thing in life that we can do. Love heals.

    Good for you for this insight and taking steps to treat yourself with kindness.

    Anita

  12. 12
    Amanda says:

    Thank you Anita. I am feeling a little discouraged this weekend so I really appreciate that 🙂

    I’ve just finished a year-long course in healing, I wanted to get a certificate so I could practise officially. She wrote to me today to tell me I would not be getting a certificate. The reason was my thesis.

    This is what she wrote about my description of my empathy.

    “I was shocked and horrified that you see yourself as ‘going into other peoples bodies’ surely this is not respecting them on any level, I am sure you wouldnt like somebody going into your body. Lots of friend and students of mine are empathic and pick up on emotions, but they are also compassionate.

    “I am so sorry Amanda but your thesis was very worrying and I couldnt have somebody who has so much inner anger at the world go out and heal other people. You need healing 1st xxxxx”

    I did write back explaining that she’d insulted the best part of me and that empathy can’t exist with impure motives.. I also asked for an apology. But that’s my certificate! That’s the person I chose to teach me healing..

    I think I’m going to have to write it off as ‘one of those weeks’ 🙂

    So now you see how cheering your remark was!

    Amanda

  13. 13

    AMANDA, let’s get this straight. You take this woman’s course in healing for a year. She doesn’t understand anything you tell her about your becoming a skilled empath. She doesn’t choose to learn anything.

    Then she accuses you of having “inner anger.” (Not a pattern I have noticed in you during any session, AMANDA, but then all I do is healing techniques that include the dreaded Skilled Empath Merge. 😉 )

    And then, after refusing to give you her certificate, she ends the communique by giving you five smooches?

    In the U.S., anyway, “XXXXX” at the end of a communication is supposed to mean that. Or, perhaps, “Blessings.”

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  14. 14

    Not to sound pushy or anything, AMANDA, but I do have a Mentoring Program in Energy Spirituality.

    I can assure you, I don’t accept anyone into that program unless I feel comfortable with that person and am committed to doing what I can, appropriately, do from my side in order to help that student be successful.

  15. 15
    Primrose says:

    Amanda, phew, am sorry you got that response from your teacher.

    She wrote that after a year of working with you? Maybe it’s just me reading too much into what she wrote, but to me it seems like she’s accused you of being some kind of furtive body snatcher or immoral voyeur with the power to posess people.

    Quite bizarre. I hope you don’t take that on.

  16. 16
    Amanda says:

    Hi Rose.

    Yup it’s quite a shocker all round isn’t it? But I feel so all round good that it actually hasn’t upset me half as much as it could. I agree the kisses add insult to injury though!

    It’s tied in so amazingly with the whole ‘blessings’ thread, I don’t think I’d have even noticed if you hadn’t explored it.

    The worst thing is that she actually charged me for this ‘assessment’. Un-belIEvable!

    And lol, yes, Rose, on the principle of ‘onwards and upwards’ – and indeed this stunning idea of working with people I actually like – I had already thought about your mentoring programme!

    If I didn’t have my supportive connections I don’t think this other stuff would be waving me these rather ugly goodbyes – so I choose to be encouraged by that too 🙂

    Amanda

  17. 17
    Carol says:

    Amanda,

    I am experiencing a lot of what you are describing right now, also.

    Over the last 4 years I have had an 85% turnover in my close relationships. It has been very difficult and lonely and scary, but, I have a deep sense that there is something much bigger going on, too. Like this is happening to a lot of us all over the world right now. For all the pain and uncertainty, it feels like a cleansing, a new beginning.

    Some of the relationships were ended by the other and some by me but most of them just sort of dropped off and faded away on their own.

    I am beginning to see a pattern in all of it. I am beginning to relax and trust and accept it with more equanimity. As I grow and evolve I attract and am attracted to different people. The circle of friends is much smaller now but the quality is so much better.

    As I look back at the relationships that have dropped away (or been dropped by me actively), all of them were bothersome to me in some way and becoming more and more difficult for me to maintain with any degree of sincere caring. I finally would reach a point of, as a good friend puts it, “Who needs the aggravation?”

    In my remaining quality relationships there is not always agreement on everything, but even in the disagreements there is deep respect, openness, and deep listening to the other until we reach an agreement or simply agree to disagree and leave it as an open question between us and within us.

    There is enough detachment from ego to not get bogged down in the details and, instead, nurture each other on the basis of the others deepest intentions for growth, understanding and nurturing of our gifts.

    I treasure my few quality friends and family. Yes, there are family members who have been outed from my life because they are toxic and “Who needs the aggravation ?”!

    Lastly, I consider anyone who sets themselves up as a teacher of Healing, takes your money and forms a relationship with you for a year and then rejects you with such hideously insincere mixed messages as Evil. I do not use that term lightly, either.

    Cut that cord as quickly as you can!

  18. 18
    Grace says:

    Amanda,

    I’m glad my comment was helpful. When I read “Can I ask, did you go through a phase of feeling like there was quite a lot of loss?” I must admit that I chortled a bit. As in, “girrrlll, you can say that again!”

    Some highlights….

    When my mom died 2 years ago, I instinctively reached out to several old college friends and various family members for support. Well, some of the family members made it clear there wouldn’t be a whole lot of support during the events of my mom’s illness and afterwards. Several of them never even acknowledged my mother’s death or communicated with me in any way. Several of them were seriously nasty. Some of the older friends weren’t terribly supportive.

    So I went through a very intense period of grief, not just about losing my mom, but also about the loss of friendships and then realizing that some of them were more illusions of friendship than real. My needs changed so dramatically and basically much of what I’d thought was my life, certainly my family life, vanished. Except one first cousin of my mom’s, who miraculously came out of the woodwork, and who I now consider basically my family.

    It was really quite a horrible, painful experience, and so when I say that I quietly carve out a life around people I like, it comes from having so much stripped away and from never wanting to go through something like that again.

    Really learning about empathy and ‘becoming the most important person in the room’ has helped me to see the roots of some of the problems. I spent those years doing the unskilled empathy thing, thinking I had no needs, not really even knowing what that meant, giving too much, etc. So when I really needed emotional support, many of the people I’d thought were friends turned out to be takers basically.

    I have compassion for what I lived earlier in my life. I had a lot of unpleasant people around me when I was growing up, some who really didn’t like me (those were some juicy cords Rose cut!), and so it took me a while as an adult to sort through all that unconsciousness. It was almost perversely natural on one level for me to gravitate toward people who weren’t terribly kind to me.

    I trust my instincts much more now and will do whatever it takes to quietly disengage from work situations with unpleasant people. And I sure won’t do business with people I don’t like.

    I’ve learned the hard way that those initial red flags, the flutters of ‘hmmm, I don’t think I like this person’ are invaluable. When I’ve ignored them in the past, I’ve always wound up with trouble of one kind or another. I like the quote I hear Oprah repeat, words said by Maya Angelou: “When people tell you who they are, believe them the first time.” (or something to that effect)

    That teacher you wrote of reminds me of a teacher at a personal growth seminar I went to in January. I don’t think she ever liked me and I quickly learned that she wasn’t an empath and had no clue what I was talking about when I spoke about empathy. It was horrible and reminds me of the situation you shared. The dynamic I noticed in my own situation was that this particular teacher seemed to really need all her ‘pupils’ to be really damaged and would basically wrestle you one way or another to try to fit you into the mold rather than open her own mind to learn anything.

    It’s an ugly dynamic. I can empathize with what you experienced.

  19. 19
    Grace says:

    Thank you, Anita.

    I appreciated the opportunity to reflect on these different threads of my life. I’ve always felt a divide between my work with my students and then being a part of American culture. Students are regularly baffled by American behavior, not knowing what, if anything, to trust. I often find myself saying, “Hey, I’m an American and it’s hard for me!”

    What’s fascinating is that they see right through the type of nonsense we’ve been writing about – the blessings business.

    In fact, the other night (I don’t think I already shared this tale; I hope I’m not repeating myself! please forgive me if I am…), a lovely young Indian woman in my class, who has a marvelous way of speaking directly, asked me, “Why do people have such a hard time with me being direct?”

    What came to mind were various responses, such as “People are uncomfortable with directness,” which is true, but she still didn’t understand.

    “Why are they uncomfortable with it?” she asked.

    The only word that comes to mind when I think of her way of being direct is “pure.” I’ve found it quite rare in American culture to find people who are able to be direct and loving, with no intention of bulldozing people. While she knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it, I observed her being very kind and helpful to her classmates. Just a combination I haven’t encountered often in American culture.

    After breaking through my own conditioning, which I realized has had me adding a layer of indirectness to cope with my work environment, I finally said, “You know, you’re a bright woman who knows who she is, what she wants in life and who isn’t afraid to go out and get it. And that scares the pants off a lot of people because a lot of people don’t know who they are or what they want. It triggers things in them.”

    The encounter brought to mind our recent discussions.

  20. 20
    Renee says:

    I can really relate to all the posts about leaving “friends” who are really just “Frenemies”.

    It’s funny reading this after spending the weekend at an Energy healing seminar with Donna Eden, who is just a joy-filled, amazing person, and the atmosphere was amazing.

    Today I went to yoga, again an amazing atmosphere filled with positve energy.

    I was reflecting on how much my life has changed since cutting my cords with people who are just takers and users. I used to be afraid of not having them in my life, now I’m more afraid of having them IN my life.

    I feel much more peaceful and grateful, and the change I’ve noticed most is that I don’t feel the need to spend much time thinking about them; they don’t fill my thoughts like they use to. More time to be happy and focused on so many other wonderful things.

  21. 21

    Thanks to all of you who weighed in (lightly, brightly) on Amanda’s rejection/betrayal, sealed with five kisses. And the growth around new friendships.

    All of you may get a kick from today’s post about ethics: https://www.rose-rosetree.com/blog/2010/11/15/ethics-aura-reading-energetic-literacy-healing-spiritual-holistic/#more-1892

    So feel free to keep adding your wisdom. I am so enjoying everyone’s comments.

  22. 22
    Amanda says:

    Hi everyone and thank you for keeping me in perspective!

    Primrose, you gave me such a smile because I got that ‘evil invasive’ accusation too, and yes, I have taken it on board and am really cringing away from that description which as far as I’m concerned belongs in the Dark Ages and makes me feel horribly icked on.

    However, I’m glad to have the term ‘Spiritual Hypochondria’ in my toolkit and actually most of me knows what a silly idea it is.

    I have written to the person in this healer’s organisation who deals with complaints, detailing my grounds for serious concern around the professional conduct of both the course and the assessment, including my disbelief at being insulted then kissed via a Facebook message by a supposedly professional healer! I’ve also asked for my money back. Whether I’ll get it is another matter.

    I feel better for making myself heard and once that cord is cut I think I’ll be able to put the whole mess to bed, having learnt SO much.

    The truly brilliant thing is that I’m not half as upset as I might have been once upon a time. I had a great day out shopping with my mum and I’ve had a great evening with the kids at home – though this has been spinning in my head it’s not in any way taken over. That pleases me more than I can say.

    Carol, Grace and Renee, you’ve made me realise this process of selection is an ok and desirable and normal part of recovering empathy – and it’s so helpful to know that. Thank you very much indeed! 🙂

    So excited. Things really feel like they’re straightening out.

    Amanda

  23. 23
    Anita says:

    Hi Amanda,
    So sorry to hear what you went through. Sounds awful. I’m glad my comment could bring some cheer. Agree with the other comments from Rose et al. and support you’ve received here on the blog.

    Carol,
    I understand completely what you are saying about relationships falling away, as I’ve experienced it myself.

    Grace,
    I understand what you are saying as well about relationships and trusting your flutters of doubt as red flags.

    I have personally found directness to be a challenge in many cultures, not just ours. Members of different cultures find it challenging to be direct for a variety of reasons. In my personal experience I have found it nearly impossible to make generalizable conclusions across cultures (myself personally being Asian American – I was born in the U.S. but my parents were not).

    I think it just demonstrates the universal human dilemma of trying to balance personal needs with collective needs, to communicate clearly but compassionately, which transcends culture and language.

    For empaths, especially, this can be especially challenging because the energy of empaths is constantly merging with that of others (especially the energy of unskilled empaths) and picking up information, clutter, stuff, from other people’s auras.

    No wonder it’s so hard for so many to be direct – and clear.

    Renee,
    I love the term “frenemies.” It perfectly captures the contradictions of both friends and enemies and when they are rolled together into one ambiguous mess.

  24. 24
    Who says:

    To answer the question, it was just my way of being done with the post. Nothing more, nothing less. My post wasn’t an expression of hatred towards you (though you seemed to have taken it that way), it was an expression of a dislike of your response. No, strong feelings of hate or anger. I may not have liked your response, but that dosen’t mean that I am not above recognizing that you have provided contributions through your blogs, books, sessions etc. So, blessings to you for that! If that comes across as insincere to you, that is fine

    Of course, you may not find “New Age” under religion in the yellow pages, but I often find that New Agers behave in a religious manner, with strict interpretations about spirituality..that I often think is wrong..and sometimes cultish. Basically, like Christianity, Islam, etc. or like any organized belief system/practice. Of course, not EVERY member of a group is like that…..but enough for me to write it off like you did with TM.

  25. 25

    WHO, thanks for clarifying. For you to signal your dislike and writing off, and feel the need to share it with us all, then add “Blessings” …

    such an interesting recipe.

    This might be considered more than insincere. To me, ironically, it counts as exactly the kind of thing that, apparently, you dislike about New Age.

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