Not every day does a comment at this blog win the game of “Stump the Host.” But such a wildly historic event did occur on Monday, November 15, 2010.
In response to my post about ethics for healers, PRIMROSE wrote:
I’m not really getting this. I don’t see why it’s unethical to say “I think you have this, I’m sorry I can’t help you with it”.
Okay, this is about furniture, not healing, but if I see a client and they have a piece of furniture that needs mercury gilding I say to them “This needs mercury gilding, sorry I don’t do that kind of work because it’s too dangerous, and I don’t know anyone who does it either”.
And that’s the truth. I know what needs doing to the furniture, but I can’t do it. If I didn’t tell them what kind of gilding they needed or that it’s dangerous, or that it’s virtually impossible to get mercury gilding done these days, I wouldn’t be telling them the truth as I know it.
So.. I’m wondering why exactly it’s so bad for healers who aren’t able to heal to point out what’s wrong. If I know what’s wrong, I don’t need a healer to hold my hand and get me a referral, I can seek out help myself.
Why healing isn’t necessarily the same as mercury gilding
Primrose and other Blog-Buddies who feel the same way, I’m going to try to help you understand my perspective about ethics. According to which it is not appropriate to tell people random observations about their problems on the level of auras unless you either heal them or make a referral to someone who can.
Blog-Buddies, just like yesterday in the blog COMMENTS section, I still invite your assistance. Because this topic is so extremely charged for me, maybe I don’t do a particularly good job of understanding why this idea isn’t “obvious” to everyone.
Anyway, here goes. Using Primrose’s furniture analogy. And equating New Age systems like Reiki, psychic readings, spiritual readings, spiritual healing, Energy Spirituality, Energy Medicine or Energy Psychology… to fixing furniture:
Describing problems yet unfixed in furniture is not dangerous to furniture because:
1. Unlike people, a piece of furniture does not have feelings.
Furniture will not worry and even become obsessed with fixing a problem.
Many of you Blog-Buddies are familiar with the trap of becoming over-subjective. Last I heard, furniture may not be able to walk or talk, but it has one clear advantage over us humans. At least it won’t topple over due to being over-subjective, worried out of all sense of proportion, etc.
I mean, really, when is the last time you saw a desk wake up, sweating, at three in the morning?
2. Even a fine antique desk, some museum quality masterpiece, can have flaws.
If, like us, furniture COULD worry about flaws, it might inwardly enlarge these flaws through “spiritual hypochondria.” (A term you can search for at this blog, if you’re interested.)
Warning that desk about real flaws, or flaws that do not even exist, could make life hell for that desk. (Ooh, how I am beginning to enjoy this analogy!)
So many of my clients suffer. A lot. I have been known to suffer, as well.
Now, thanks to this analogy, I can start to make that smug, silly desk suffer. 😉
3. To some extent, furniture repair is obvious. Unlike repairing problems with a human’s subtle energies.
Truly, horrendously incompetent practitioners at furniture repair don’t stay in business for long. The desk doesn’t risk being given wrong information from a practitioner who is very, very mistaken. A practitioner whose chairs have no seats, for instance — how long will he be able to get away with bragging about his Very Sophisticated Look?
Yet the level of aura reading is different. Here at this blog, we have an Enlightenment Life List — actually, it’s our most popular post. (Actually, I have a fair amount of catching up with comments to do there. I haven’t forgotten. I meant to do this today, rather than write a new blog post. One day soon, I will get to that part, promise. Especially because when I read the newspaper this morning at breakfast, there was a photo of singer Josh Groban. Never saw him before but woo-hoo! I stopped and read his aura along with taking my vitamins. That guy sure is going onto that Enlightenment Life List as soon as I have a chance to open it up.)
Anyway, people propose all kinds of candidates for that Enlightenment Life List. Blog-Buddies like Daisy are so very, very sure about the Enlightenement of a notorious cult leader like, Osho, a.k.a. Rajneesh. Other candidates proposed include the guy whose website calls him an avatar and something like “The world’s youngest enlightened person.” Then Blog-Buddies are hugely disappointed when I share that, using energetic literacy, no, these people are NOT Enlightened, not quite yet.
If glorious spiritual Enlightenment is hard to identify, that’s nothing compared to the confusion people can have about problems like astral entities, need for spirit removal, cords of attachment, frozen blocks from other lifetimes, etc. Many healers who freely “diagnose” can’t even tell these problems apart, don’t know what the different problems actually are. Many healers lack the knowledge to make any kind of intelligent referral. But scare a nice desk like Daphne? Sure, they can do that.
Okay, now I’m calling that desk “Daphne.” Well, why not?
4. Consequences of receiving a correct diagnosis of ailments that require Energy Medicine, Energy Psychology, or Energy Spirituality.
Say that our desk, Daphne, is told about a problem that really does exist, say “Ladybug infestation.”
Say further that the furniture and pest control fields are so unregulated today, lacking any standards whatsoever, our frantic desk might go to 15 different “practitioners” before finding one who is competent to heal those ladybugs.
What Primrose has called “hand holding” by referring to a competent practitioner is what I call “Being responsible.” Try googling a term like “cut cords of attachment.” I just did. Google turned up 484,000 hits. (Gee, still up from 30 hits, when I published Cut Cords of Attachment in 2007.)
Is it responsible to turn Daphne loose on all the practitioners she might find at random? Check out the advice at “The Number 1 Source for Daily Life Advice,” which came up on the first page of hits for “cut cords of attachment.” Elizabeth Farrell tells you to visualize yourself holding a golden pair of scissors.
5. Bogus warnings can set off plenty of scary Google searches
And to make this analogy more complete, ladybugs aren’t even particularly dangerous. Say that Daphne’s particular furniture maker was, mostly, showing off.
So, oops, he conflated seeing one ladybug with “Danger, danger, ladybug infestation!”
Not every expert at furniture restoration has the skills of Primrose. Not in this analogy. Not by a long shot.
But will being given wrong information keep Daphne from spending loads of time and money. Or, perhaps, years of visualizing scissors that do nothing? (Although there really is something pretty amusing about a thought bubble coming out of a desk, whether it contains useless but pretty scissors or anything else.)
6. No penalty for incompetence?
Sure, their karma to meet a similar practitioner oneself. But what about immediate karma, from someone like Daphne? That won’t happen unless, as I suggested in yesterday’s post, every consumer of Reiki, psychic readings, spiritual healing, energy healing, spiritual readings, etc. gives direct and clear feedback.
In the field of furniture making, people are (hopefully) trained to make furniture. But with New Age healing, there’s no limit, no standards. Brilliant people with real skills are out there. So are brilliant people who confuse brilliance with having skills. Also fourth-rate practitioners who barely have any skills at all, yet consider themselves the equivalent of The Royal Furniture Maker.
If the only people who made casual diagnoses and then moved on were the first-rate practitioners, this behavior would still seem ethically shoddy to me. But it wouldn’t be quite as dangerous for clients.
In our analogy, any semi-competent whittler can hang out a shingle as the equivalent of “Royal Furniture Maker.” This “Have penknife, will travel” furniture repairer of this analogy can freely see clients, charge clients money, advise clients inaccurately. And will gladly take away the client’s self-authority, so the client becomes particularly prone to agree with whatever that practitioner says.
Unlike craftspersons who repair physical objects, mind-body-spirit practitioners can ooch over into fields where they have no training whatsoever, like a Reiki practitioner telling my client “Oh, how cute, you have an astral entity living inside your aura.”
Having fun with analogies, this is like an expert at making stained glass windows telling a customer, “Sure, I’ll refinish your desk.” And that expert really has no clue at all about how to do a professional job.
Or that the desk even needs refinishing.
7. Desks don’t seek Enlightenment
Or is this just true for the furniture around my house? Tell me it ain’t so.
If Daphne (the desk) slows down her evolution? No big deal.
But if that happens to you or me, and it happens because somebody gave us really rotten advice, that is a big deal.
What if you have spent years being “fixed” by people who lacked the skills they claimed to have? Now that is really a great big problem. Also an ethical problem for every single person who contributed to that mess.
Conclusion, for now, anyway
Ethics really do matter. They matter in everything New Age, just like everything outside of New Age.
In terms of ethics with healing cords of attachment, this blog contains many true stories of people with a real specialty in one area of healing who take it upon themselves to “cut cords” when they don’t have quality skills. Or standards. Or much knowledge at all.
At least as shocking to me, some New Age healers lack interest in developing knowledge or standards or quality skills. I think of a colleague who had zero interest in hearing any ideas about cutting cords of attachment, something she claimed to do for paying clients. “Gladys” is a superb yoga teacher and regression therapist. I used to have the highest respect for her.
Then I referred a client to Gladys. Later that regression therapy client recounted what had been done to, supposedly, cut a cord of attachment.
My respect didn’t end the day this client reported on the terrible work with cord cutting. It happened when I tried to discuss the topic with Gladys, speaking in the friendliest way I could, as one professional to another, given a friendship that went back for 15 years. Gladys sneered and told me, “Rose, you’re too rigid about cutting cords of attachment.”
At this blog, we have had a rather controversial dialogue with a talented, confident young practitioner of a healing modality who posted an article at a major website about the alleged “dangers” of having cords of attachment cut because of all the possible “psychic attack.”
Primrose, I can only hope that, in that furniture field, you only face problems that are supposed to be related to your field. I hope you never have to deal with situations like this. I sure didn’t like calling this woman on her article.
A teacher and healer publicly criticizing another teacher and healer? Ugh, I can only imagine the “I hate you. But blessings and xxxxx and namaaste” potential.
In case you’re wondering, Blog-Buddies, it felt bad to me, personally, writing that post.
But the alternative, doing nothing, felt even worse. Christina’s post had a high search engine standing. Unlike most of my work, I might add… for empaths, for face reading, etc. At this point in my career, I spend zero time on search engine optimization, etc. Here was a well-publicized article, and one that upset a Blog-Buddy so much that she emailed me to ask if what Christina wrote could be true?
So I did the best job I could, writing the clearest blog post possible. I made sure to contact Christina. I gave her a chance to respond as much as she wanted, and put it directly onto my blog. (Because I do care very much about ethics. And ethics are, like it or not, situational.)
Uncomfortable though it felt, and perhaps unnecessary from the perspective of Primrose and others who form part of this blog community, I felt strongly called to do this. I felt it important to clarify what is and isn’t involved in cutting cords of attachment. My concern with Christina’s article was that many people could be discouraged forever from cutting cords, out of fear of “horrible psychic attack.” What a loss!
As that thread developed, I learned from other Blog-Buddies that in martial arts, there is some history of people doing all they can to attack others. But that part of Christina’s background still isn’t pertinent to the rather gentle, and absolutely safe, art of cutting cords of attachment.
Done properly, by any valid method (not just mine), by any ethical and skilled practitioner (not just me), there simply is no danger.
That’s right. There is no fearsome danger of being attacked by receiving, or giving yourself, this very practical kind of healing. So warning people about this is, come to think of it, a perfect example of misguided or unethical behavior from a New Age practitioner.
Maybe Daphne the Desk wouldn’t have worried. But I sure did.