One of my cherished long-term clients is GLADYS. She has a history that involves substances. One session at a time, we are moving out STUFF and putting in new understandings, choices, and social skills in alignment with her soul, her strongest individual qualities of Who You Be. (This 50% of move out STUFF and 50% of put-in is, of course, a working definition of Energy Spirituality.)
Today GLADYS mentioned in passing an important concept in Narcotics Anonymous (NA): Self-Centered Fear. And today’s post is a response to this concept, which can be very helpful at a certain stage in recovery but later, well, how often is a human idea useful at every level of consciousness?
Life grows over-subjective if you smoke marijuana or center your life around cocaine or heroin. The concept of Self-Centered Fear includes false, or irrelevant, concerns that keep the former addict from engaging fully in life.
Speech and action in objective reality always come with risk. As I understand it, Self-Centered Fear is a form of “stinking thinking” that is especially common among people who would seek out Narcotics Anonymous.
At one time, the Self-Centered Fear label really helped GLADYS. She used the concept to identify behavior patterns that were related to her former dependency upon substances. Painful though these patterns were to acknowledge, she needed the clarity as she sought to rebuild her life.
“Get over yourself” is good advice at a certain stage of development. It’s along the lines of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Move from subjective reality into objective reality. Use speech and action, rather than dwelling on fear. However….
Moving past Self-Centered Fear on your path to Enlightenment
When you are evolving rapidly on your path to Enlightenment, you’re strengthening all of your chakra databanks, those hundreds of tube-like energetic structures within your aura.
Each one of your chakra databanks contains a gift of your soul, with great promise for your happiness and balance… all the way through to complete self-actualization.
Chakra databanks also contain STUFF, stored emotional and spiritual garbage at a level of auras that corresponds to the subconscious mind.
STUFF can always, always, always be healed. And that is the part that Narcotics Anonymous, and other 12-Step Programs, do not yet appreciate.
So a term like Self-Centered Fear can become irrelevant as you move into sobriety. It can even hold you back.
For all you Blog-Buddies who have been growing fast, it’s a poignant fact of life. The understandings and techniques you do at one point in your development can, eventually, become defenses. Instead of moving you forward, those old helps wind up keeping you stuck.
You are the expert on your life. You are the one with the self-authority. You alone can decide whether or not you agree with ideas proposed in the rest of this post.
I’m not writing today’s post to knock away an important aid as you walk on your path. However, it’s just possible that you have been stuck in a way that’s not necessary.
Problem #1 with Self-Centered Fear
Moving into recovery, a person’s sense of self can be fragile. Frankly, in recovery or not, with past substance problems or not, most people have trouble on occasion with maintaining a positive personal sense of self.
In my experience, helping clients with Energy Spirituality, insulting or over-complicating one’s sense of self is never a good idea. Having a self is required for any healthy human householder.
Yes, it is healthy and important to be self-centered, self-respecting, honest with self, allowing your self to be important, valuing your self’s own thoughts, feelings, ideas, inspirations, yes-or-no signals, etc.
Human beings need to be self-centered. Who else has the job of advocating for you, or noticing what you need, or persisting when you seek something important?
Does being self-centered have to mean ignoring other people, acting irresponsibly, etc.? No.
Think about it.
So, at a certain stage in recovery it is not necessarily helpful at all to worry about Self-Centered Fear. Or to link “self-centered” with anything negative whatsoever. At a certain stage in recovery, guess what? It could become rather relevant, mustering up enough interest in one’s individual existence to be self-centered in a positive and productive way.
Why not celebrate being self-centered? That eagle pictured soaring high at the top of this post — were that eagle to stop paying attention to self, there surely would soon be rather large splat on the mountain. Machines can go fine for a while on auto-pilot, but flying eagles? Or sober, sane people?
Problem #2 with Self-Centered Fear
When someone is stuck in over-subjective living, that is definitely undesirable. I have worked with many a long-term client to gently help that client balance objective and subjective reality.
And substances — whether pot or cocaine or heroin or alcohol — will, by definition, cause a person to become habitually over-subjective. “Hitting bottom” happens when consequences in objective reality pile on so hugely that the narcotics user, or alcoholic, starts paying attention in a serious way to objective reality.
Moving someone into objective reality, it’s not necessarily kind to make it seem as though inner life is bad, wrong, or selfish. Subjective reality is a healthy part of life. For an Enlightened person, subjective life is 50% of life. The other half is objective life. Both can be glorious. Both can be balanced.
And, although there are many sacred, effective paths to Enlightenment, I am not aware of anyone who gets there due to disrespecting subjective life.
Problem #3 with Self-Centered Fear
When STUFF is stuck in a person’s subconscious mind and aura, automatically, there will be distortions to subjective life. This differs from the stinking thinking related to immediate physiological response triggered by an addictive substance, like weed or whiskey.
Long-term, STUFF recycles in cords of attachment, repeatedly imprinting a person through frozen blocks of energy, etc.
Until these are removed, a former addict will have to struggle one day at a time. But when recovery is supplemented by techniques like cutting cords of attachment and Energy Release Regression Therapy, STUFF can be moved out permanently. Which means removing sources of fear for good. Not through struggle but through permanent healing.
Cutting a Cord of Attachment that was relevant to substance abuse
Let’s move to a specific example. I’ll include excerpts from a relevant cord of attachment that was cut for JOSEPHINE, a client who was in love with a big drinker, Mr. G.
Was Mr. G. an alcoholic, I asked her, when gathering background about this “best friend” relationship? JOSEPHINE giggled with more animation than she showed at any other time during our session. “He doesn’t get in touch often. When he does, it’s drunk calls.”
“What on earth are drunk calls?” I asked.
JOSEPHINE then explained to Rose, the healer who does not yet know everything, that “drunk calls” are fun telephone calls you can make when extremely drunk. Mr. G. would send her random calls and sing Christmas carols, which would be all garbled up (and, presumably, therefore, adorable).
Here are some cord items from JOSEPHINE’s former cord of attachment to Mr. G.
Mr. G.: Calling with one of his drunk calls. Singing to you.
JOSEPHINE: He loves me!
Mr. G.: Getting all ridiculous.
Mr. G.: Automatically encoding the entire communication with his energies of being in a goofy, carefree, “charming” stage of inebriation.
JOSEPHINE: Receiving a contact high. Feeling carefree.
JOSEPHINE: A romantic rush of happiness.
JOSEPHINE: I have to trust that this relationship will work out
Logical consequences from cutting this cord of attachment
If you have read “Cut Cords of Attachment” or have been in session with someone who uses the system of 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment(R), you know that an important part of the healing is considering the logical consequences, or likely long-term benefits, of cutting a cord of attachment.
Moving out this STUFF for JOSEPHINE was going to free her up romantically, I explained to her. She would find it easier to not be thinking about Mr. G. so often.
A crush is a crush. Young love is a many splendoured thing. Which of you Blog-Buddies can’t relate to that?
But love turns dangerous when, 24/7, cord items repeat many times each day. Re-imprinting a person’s aura and subconscious mind, it is not sweet and giggle-worthy to associate any of these (let alone ALL of them, over and over and over):
Feeling loved + Receiving a contact high from an addictive substance + Feeling a rush of happiness +Hope for the future is restored.
It doesn’t get more dangerous than that, not if you wish to prevent substance addiction… or get over what made someone an addict in the first place.
JOSEPHINE is a healthy young woman, sensitive and strong, with a good head on her shoulders. She came to me for help with love troubles. If she also enjoys the side-effect of preventing problems with alcohol or marijuana or similar substances, I won’t mind a bit.
Similar sequences of cord items have been found when my clients were in recovery from pot or cocaine or alcohol. When that no longer repeats in the aura and subconscious mind 24/7, recovery becomes quite a different process!
One reason I host an Energy Spirituality Mentoring Program is that I have a passion for training professionals to work in recovery. Can you imagine the shifts that people could make? The pain and struggle that could finally end? The ability to have self-centered confidence, as part of a healthy life!