Hope so. Hope you are willing to see the ugliness. Especially if you have a pure heart.
If not willing, you risk finding bogus ugliness in others and yourself.
Seeking beauty is a great lifestyle. But seeking ONLY beauty makes a lousy requirement for life, a wretched way of attempting to live one’s ideals.
Could be, aiming to find only sweetness and light counts as one of the slowest and most difficult paths to Enlightenment.
Ugliness remains a fact of life. Beginning, middle, end — you can encounter pain in any phase of a relationship. End-type ugliness hurts particularly.
What would work better?
Cut your cord of attachment to Joe. Cut it early in the relationship, if you have the skills or else find a skilled practitioner of Energy Spirituality. That gives your falling into friendship a kind of insurance policy.
Cord-cutting ensures that the score of that cord of attachment’s Yuckiness Index will not climb all the way from 1 to 10. (And cords of attachment to those we love, or invest in emotionally, do usually climb up to 10 on the Yuckiness Index. Trust me. I have seen that in clients literally thousands of times.)
That practical tip about cord-cutting aside, today’s post isn’t really about cutting cords of attachment (which helps energetically and on a subconscious level). Today let’s check out survival skills right at the surface level of reality — a practical perspective to restore balance to your conscious mind plus boosting your effectiveness on your personal path to Enlightenment.
The two trends about ugliness
Two trends are showing up now, bigtime, in pop culture.
The most popular way to interpret interpersonal conflict is to blame the other person. Then drop the relationshp and retreat, panting with anxiety, to your locked bedroom.
Recently we have pursued a thread about negative people, a big fad today about avoiding them and the (dubious) benefits of labeling folks in tricky relationships as:
- Energy vampires
- Psychic vampires
- Toxic personalities
- Avoid negative people, don’t sully your eyes
Of course, another name for this approach is “A colossal waste of time.”
Prefer to see ugliness in yourself?
Self-blame is another common choice, although not necessarily advocated on purpose. More, the strategy can be promulgated indirectly through religious or cult mind control. How many workshops have you seen devoted to:
- Criticizing yourself, touted as as a wonderful way to improve yourself
- Blaming yourself in every conflict — first, last, and every other opportunity
- Advanced techniques to make yourself a real expert at sticking your nose in poop?
Even so, without purposely meaning to, you may have developed big habits for seeing ugliness in yourself.
This habit involves transferring the blame rapidly from other people to yourself. This negativity strategy causes habitual fearing that every shortcoming you see in anyone else has its origins in ?you. Ooh, what is that “terrible flaw” within?
Think of the last tricky, perplexing or frustrating incident in your everyday life. Were you too quick to blame yourself?
Learning from one’s experience is vital on one’s path to Enlightenment. Yet taking responsibility can be carried to vicious, self-punishing extremes.
For instance I recently learned about GLADYS, a healer who thought “Every client who is attracted to me is mirroring something about me, so I must stay open to finding out what this is… in order to grow.”
GLADYS’ healing practice wasn’t growing very fast. Even worse, GLADYS’ entire life became a kind of healing practice.
It’s one thing to notice patterns in your clients and customers. Quite something else to give yourself the burden of fishing for some deep, dark pathology being shown for your personal edification in that alleged reflecting pond.
Even Sigmund Freud, master deconstructor of symbolism and pathology in everyday life, famously said “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”
You may be especially at risk for falsely blaming yourself for problems if you have a pure heart.
Do you have a pure heart?
Potentially every human heart is beautiful. Or could be. But many of you Blog-Buddies have an extreme version of this beauty, known as having a pure heart.
One definition of having a pure heart is that you have high vibrations spiritually. Whatever patterns of STUFF you may carry due to cords of attachment, psychic coercion, etc., the clog doesn’t keep you from being energetically free to like and love people, as an initial reaction.
And that pure heartedness generates a deep kind of enthusiasm, like how a poet finds each person’s special excellence.
Pure hearts can be researched through aura reading, especially Stage Three Energetic Literacy. A pure heart can be read with Skilled Empath Merge, too. It’s evident in chakra databanks like these:
- Aura Reading Databank at the Heart Chakra: Emotional Awareness of Other People
- Aura Reading Databank at the Root Chakra: Trusting People (Assessing Their Actions)
- Aura Reading Databank at the Belly Chakra: Creativity in Everyday Life
- Aura Reading Databank at the Solar Plexus Chakra: Handling Conflict
- Aura Reading Databank at the Throat Chakra: Communication in Public
- Aura Reading Databank at the Third Eye Chakra: Spiritual Leadership
- Aura Reading Databank at the High Heart Chakra: Soulful Connection to Other People
Go ahead! Practice your energetic literacy skills on anyone you like. Read auras in person or from regular photos. The information in these chakra databanks can clearly reveal who does, and doesn’t, have a pure heart.
The simplest definition of having a pure heart
It’s simply this, about having a pure heart: You don’t wilfully hurt people, not with intentional cruelty or malicious behavior just for the fun of it.
Psychopaths, about 1% of the human population are just the opposite.
Most folks fall into a well-populated middleground.
- They might experiment occasionally with malice.
- They might exact revenge and like it.
- They might put ethics aside for the sake of self-interest.
- They might lie to themselves and take the lie into long-term patterns of denial.
So what about identifying “negative people” when your heart is pure?
To sum up the model provided thus far, folks with a pure heart are quite a minority, almost the polar opposite of psychopaths.
I suspect that a large proportion of you Blog-Buddies are in that Pure Heart Fellowship. Who would be more interested in Deeper Perception, even if you learned about problems of your own to fix?
Identifying “negative people” can be useful as a developmental step for people, pure-hearted or not, moving up from victimhood. Avoiding “toxic personalities” and “energy vampires” etc. can be a good coping strategy for a short period of time, a transitional period of becoming more socially resourceful.
But here’s the big problem with this strategy, especially for pure-hearted folk. ??Psychopaths DEPEND on others feeling guilty or blaming themselves. They will get away with terrible manipulations. And most psychopaths seem charming or confident, not at all like “negative people.”
Inwardly the psychopaths laugh. So do people who are dishonest, scheming, sexual cheaters, etc. They manipulate or bully, even if seeming totally charming.
And it isn’t enough to simply label a person as “bad” in order to avoid the occasional display of hurtful behavior. Anyone not-yet-Enlightened is a mixture.
Protect your pure heart with a better strategy
You can do so much better than simply labeling and then avoiding negative people. Instead, strengthen your own circuits about dealing with objective reality. What did JOE say and do?
Should you start to blame yourself or feel guilty, should you feel anxious about what has happened between you, please don’t limit yourself by interposing the popular label-making coping strategy: “With JOE, is he a narcissist or an energy vampire? Is he a negative person? Because then, of course, I must avoid him. This will cure all my ills.”
Nope. Much more productively, ask yourself, “What did JOE just say and do?”
And then follow up. “How can I respond to that, with speech and actions, to get what I want?”
Informative! Life becomes informative when you see problems in objective reality for what they are, then take action.
Pure hearts can thrive that way, pursuing life and liberty and happiness. Try it.