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Forgiveness Vs. Cord-Cutting

Forgiveness Vs. Cord-Cutting

Forgiveness Vs. Cord-Cutting. Tormenting yourself, like giving yourself an extra-bleeding heart? Is that really required to forgive?

Forgiveness Vs. Cord-Cutting. Could be, sometimes you’ll never be able to forgive until you cut a particular cord of attachment. To the one who wronged you!

Forgiveness Vs. Cord-Cutting. Controversial. Shareable.

I’ll warn you, Blog-Buddies. This will be one of my more controversial posts. If you don’t hate it, you may love it. In which case, please share it with friends who might find it helpful, too.

What prompted this article?

“How to Help Others Forgive?” is the topic of a recent advice column by Amy Dickinson. She’s at the top of her field, at the top of her game. So I couldn’t wait to read how the author of “Ask Amy” would answer a reader’s question from stepfather Tom about his stepdaughter. (Whom I’ll call “Gladys.”)

Gladys already sees a psychotherapist. Yet she is unable to forgive her birth father, and Stepdad Tom wanted to help.  Would Amy recommend a book on forgiveness?

Wise Forgiveness Advice. Yet Outdated

Amy Dickinson began her response, “There are many, many books about forgiveness, and every one I have ever read says: Forgiveness is a choice. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. Forgiveness equates with freedom from the shackles of anger and resentment.”

Then she goes on to recommend “Dare to Forgive: The Power of Letting Go and Moving On,” by Edward M. Hallowell.

A thousand years ago, even a hundred years ago, this advice would have been fine. Okay, it would also count as anachronistic advice, since 1,000 years ago you couldn’t recommend Hallowell’s book (published in 2006).

To be clear, I think Amy Dickinson gives topnotch advice for mainstream American thinking today. I just wish she knew about… 

Better advice for The Age of Awakening

In 2007, a very different book on forgiveness was published. It was called:

Forget wasting time over extra forgiveness attempts. Do some initial forgiveness… if you like… if you can. But then stop wasting time on diminishing returns.

Instead cut your cord of attachment to the person who is bending you out of shape. Because on the level of your aura and subconscious mind, that cord of attachment really is bending you out of shape.

Heal the STUFF and forgiveness won’t be an issue any longer.

Ok, that would have been a pretty long title. The actual how-to book, by Rose Rosetree of all people, is called, “Cut Cords of Attachment: Heal Yourself and Others with Energy Spirituality.”

Forgiveness Vs. Cord-Cutting

So many forgiveness practices, so little time!

  • Forgiveness exercises
  • Forgiveness prayers
  • Psychotherapy to gradually awaken forgiveness
  • Pastoral counseling offered by a saintly spiritual advisor who has personally overcome all worldly resentments.

What kind of person rails agains that? Well, me. Hey, at least I stop short of dissing motherhood and apple pie. There are limits. 😉

Forgiveness conversations are about serious pain. I’m not joking about that. Of course, forgiveness — total forgiveness — would be lovely for each of us, with every relationship. But let’s look at the facts with our third millennium skills of energetic literacy. Because people who lack energetic literacy can’t see beyond surface-level solutions like forgiveness practices.

Energetic Perspective on Forgiveness 

Of course reading the human energy field in depth and detail is the emerging literacy for this new millennium. Just as the second millennium saw the rise of near-universal Gutenberg-style literacy, this new time is seeing a rapid rise in people who learn how to read auras in such detail they can go all the way to the level of chakra databanks… as in our Aura Reading Film Review of Michelle Williams playing Marilyn Monroe.

Reading auras in this third millennium doesn’t have to mean psychic development. No, it can be learned as a form of literacy, pure and simple. Just as Gutenberg-style literacy could be learned for the last bunch o’ centuries without your having to apprentice at a monastery.

Why Forgiveness Vs. Cord-Cutting?

And Why Might Cutting a Cord of Attachment Bring You Much Better Results?

Let’s give this discussion a human context, the Gladys context. In our anecdote about the loving but frustrated Stepfather Joe, the cord of attachment in question began when Gladys first became interested in her biological father — let’s call him “Joe.” Two energy structures developed, starting from Gladys, connecting the two of them.

  • The spiritual tie stores a complete record of every sweet thing between Gladys and Joe. Beautiful!
  • The cord of attachment contains one incident that especially has pushed Gladys’ buttons. Ick!

Using surface perception only, there is no way to know about either energetic structure. However that doesn’t keep them from impacting how Gladys thinks, feels, remembers, forgets. No amount of forgiveness practice will touch a cord of attachment. So let’s consider further.

Forgiveness Vs. Cord-Cutting. Hello! Cords Can Prevent Forgiveness.

Contents in Gladys’ cord of attachment can change over time but will only move in the direction of bad to worse.

And what do you find if, like me, you have spent over 10,000 hours in the field of Energetic Literacy, healing, and teaching about deeper perception?

Whatever happens to get stuck in a cord of attachment will recycle 24/7 in your subconscious mind. There is, literally, a sequence of “cord items,” part of a “cord dialogue” that moves through your aura. When you think about the cordee (the person at the other end of your cord of attachment), the whole sequence will run through you extra times.

Therefore, ironically enough, every minute that Gladys has spent with her therapist, trying to work through issues about her father Joe, guess what? She has triggered extra subconscious run-throughs of all the old distress.

Whatever has been stuck in her cord of attachment to Joe would have gone through her once that day anyhow. Now, thanks to all that forgiveness work, it has gone through her over and over and over again.

Forgiveness Vs. Cord-Cutting. To Be Blunt.

Resolving issues emotionally for forgiveness… does not remove a cord of attachment.

Praying and receiving answers to prayers for forgiveness… will not remove a cord of attachment.

Once it begins, a cord of attachment lasts until the final minutes of your life. Even if you never think about the cordee again. Or see the cordee. The cordee could even be dead. You’ll still suffer subconsciously and aurically in exactly the same way… unless you cut the cord of attachment in a quality way.

Cord-cutting, done effectively, means that you will never again have that cord of attachment. You can, of course, learn more about this from several of the most popular posts at this blog — not a bad way to start.

Many of you Blog-Buddies have also had telephone sessions with me where I have facilitated aura healing with this method. Glad to say, some of you Blog-Buddies these days are even in my Energy Spirituality Mentoring Program, because we are moving as quickly as we can to train professionals in this emerging field.

Please note, I do not mean to imply that cutting cords of attachment is the only way to remove STUFF in the way of forgiveness. Instead I am making the point that moving out STUFF works far better than staying on the surface of life and dealing with all of the subconscious and astral programming.

I happen to discuss cord cutting because it is one of many skills of RES Energy Healing that works! Including for clients who have struggled to forgive.

Before our session, they couldn’t.  Now they can. That’s what can happen with Cord-Cutting, Vs. Outdated Age of Faith practices. Like so-well-meaning forgiveness!

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  1. 1
    Colleen says:

    Rose,
    I would be the first one to attest to the healing that comes from cutting cords of attachment! I feel that it is ideal to have both methods. Having said that, how can one make this claim that forgiveness practices really are not effective? Some of those on your enlightenment life list have very likely had people to forgive in their human experience, but have never had a cord cutting session with you or anyone else, for that matter. How do explain the clarity and balance of their energy fields? It seems to me that there is never only one way to do anything.

  2. 2

    COLLEEN, I couldn’t agree more that there are many ways to accomplish spiritual and emotional goals, or other goals.

    Also, of course, thank you for sharing how helpful it has been for you, personally, cutting cords of attachment.

    Effectiveness isn’t a matter of black and white but shades of grey. In my experience, it is pretty darned ineffective for most people who use forgiveness.

  3. 3

    Most of you Blog-Lurkers have probably not had a cord of attachment removed permanently. Yet you have sought forgiveness over one relationship or another.

    It would be great if you could share here what results have been.

    How hard have you worked?

    How satisfied were you with the results?

    Other Blog-Buddies who have had cords of attachment removed with a quality method, what did you find, compared to forgiveness practices that you had done in the past?

    Educate us, Blog-Buddies and Blog-Lurkers!

  4. 4
    Jennifer says:

    When my first cord of attachment was cut by Rose, the next day I realized that I felt much less nervous about life in general. I wasn’t expecting this, so this was a pleasant surprise. I had a lot of anxiety since childhood. And when I got more cords cut, this situation improved even more. I think it also led to better control of my emotions.

    I have tried to forgive people and situations, and sometimes have been successful; however, it was only getting the cords cut that stopped all the excess adrenaline I frequently had.

  5. 5

    JENNIFER, long time no talk. Thank you so much for sharing here. 🙂

  6. 6
    Sabine B says:

    I believe there are many practices, including forgiveness and cutting cords attachment that can help a person.

    Rose I enjoy your books but in this article there is an assumption that other techniques and methods for healing don’t work.

    I admire your passion for your technique, but I also question the assumption inherent in this article, as someone who has had several significant cords of attachment cut, and who has also been in therapy long term. I like, and have found relief, in both.

  7. 7

    SABINE, I appreciate your calling me out on that assumption. I’ll be very clear about it. So CONTROVERSY ALERT!

    I aim to help people become spiritually Enlightened, using full potential.

    Forgiveness practices feel good to the conscious mind. They are good. However, most people do not connect up energetically in such a way that the sweet forgiveness practices clean up their subconscious minds and auras.

    Witness the vast majority of human beings who suffer, even while working hard at forgiveness practices.

    The methods I teach, and use, for permanently moving STUFF out of auras are definitely not the only ones that work. I would especially refer you to the healers, teachers, and writers on my Enlightenment Life List.

    Plus you may have found others who facilitate the permanent removal of STUFF, teachers and healers like me, not yet ready for the Enlightenment Life List. But what is offered technically works. We are Third Millennium people. We are bringing in a New Age. We are not here to offer same old, same old, however good it feels. Even when same old has been sanctified by lovely religions.

    It would be more polite for me not to hold such a counter-culture assumption. However, I care more about making a change in this world than smiling like the stereotypical healer and saying, “Beautiful” no matter what.

    Personally, I would greatly prefer to please people. But I will be fierce if need be… until this world is way better than what we have now.

  8. 8
    Sabine B says:

    Rose, thank you for the reply.

    I am struggling to find the part that is controversial in what you said.

    My first thought is: what is controversial about aiming to help people grow and reach enlightenment? Is that what you were referring to? Many spiritual techniques aim for that. It’s nothing new, as I’m sure you know because you’ve been in the field for a long time.

    From what I have studied, enlightenment surely occurs through growing and healing the self.

    Techniques for healing which have their basis in spirituality and energy (as yours do)can help. As do techniques that have their basis in psychology – they can help too.

    A person needs to pay attention to both if they are to reach wholeness and heal all parts of themselves, the psyche, and the energy body and the spirit.

    To my mind it’s about wholeness. You provide techniques which help a person to reach enlightenment by working on the energy body and subconscious mind (correct me if I’m wrong on that one.)

    Therapists and others who work on the psychological model help people to grow through working on the psyche, subconscious mind and conscious mind.

    For a person to be a whole, integrated being, you need to look at all parts – and to my mind, no one part (such as the energy part) has more value than the other on a path to enlightenment.

    Clearing energetic “stuff” and feeling better for it, but failing to work through deep childhood issues may set a person back years on their path of enlightenment.

    Forgive me if I am preaching to the choir here. I am just failing to see what is controversial about what you replied.

    Thank you.

  9. 9
    Amy says:

    Sabine, deep childhood issues can be just that stuff!

    When I had the cord of attachment to my mother cut, one of the cord items was “I feel weird and different from other people.”

    This was a feeling I recognised from early childhood, throughout my adolescence and into the last few years. Having cut that cord of attachment there is no longer that unconscious undercurrent of feeling weird that had plagued me for so long. There was no way of knowing where that came from for me, as things such as confirmation bias would mean that as I already felt weird, any possible number of events could be construed as being the cause.

    While psychological techniques (some of which I’m familiar with as I’m studying psychology and counselling ) would try to address this, as an adult, knowing your feelings are irrational doesn’t necessarily stop you having them. For me this has really underlined the importance of using skills that bring effective and timely results.

  10. 10
    Sabine says:

    Dear Amy,

    I have had my cord of attachment to a parent cut also, and I know **exactly** what you are talking about: that this method can help to lessen certain feelings. I have experienced that first hand.

    But so can psychotherapy, when you uncover buried feelings and experiences. I have had deep changes come through psychotherapy. I wouldn’t undo any of the therapy I’ve had over several years. I think in fact that it is one of the reasons why my cutting cords of attachment sessions have been so effective – I’d already done a lot of valuable inner work.

    I am just a little concerned about the gist of this article that forgiveness practices aren’t as effective as cutting your cords. Not so. They’re all effective, used at different points in our lives and for different stages of the healing journey.

    I also wanted to put my opinion out there that cutting of cords is not “better” than many of the other methods out there, including psychotherapy – it’s just different. And I say that as someone who has had benefits from this method. That’s what I am trying to say:

    I am also a fan of many other methods. I don’t think any healer or practitioner needs to put other practices or methods down in order to raise their own practice or technique up.

  11. 11
    Dave says:

    Every time I cut a cord of attachment to someone, I feel quite relieved immediately after, and notice a bit of a lifting the day(s) following. There can also be some unexpected emotions due to some energetic releasing. I’ve cut, have had cut, about 30 cords of attachments between me and other individuals.

    I also notice a distinct shift with my relationship to that person. There’s a clarity, a distance from my emotions about them. I can see who they are more clearly, and who I am more clearly. If you have a difficult or close relationship with someone, cutting your cord of attachment profoundly affects your ability to be yourself strongly and clearly, and to move beyond illusions and pain in the relationship. It can increase the quality of your experience being with that person, or allow you to release the relationship more easily. The effects are profound and amazing. The increased confidence and decreased anxiety is cumulative and obvious. Some of the cord items are quite destructive and scary, and are great to be released. And sometimes I’ll be irrationally drawn to someone not right for me in the moment, and after the cord is cut, the pull dissapears completely. Very useful for good decision making.

    I’ve personally found most therapy to be laughable in terms of long term efficacy. Many therapists are more messed up, or less evolved, and more muddled, than the clients that they’re trying to help, in my fairly extensive experience with counselors and therapists. Don’t get me started on psychiatrists that over prescribe and turn their patients into slow, confused, zombies. In a morbid kind of way, it’s quite funny to me as to how much faith people place in therapy, and how much money they spend on it, for mostly measly results. Many client – therapist relationships actually evolve into a sort of codependency where the client needs the guidance (which is sometimes bad in and of itself) from the therapist and the therapist needs to stay involved and believe they’re helping the client, and of course pay off the bills and send the kids to private school. A therapist or two has tried to guilt me into such a relationship.

    I think people who have a decent amount of experience with truly powerful and useful healing techniques, as I have, begin to realize the above. It’s part of moving beyond some key illusions of 21st century society.

    I still though Sabine has a point that it is a bit puzzling that people achieve enlightenment without powerful healing techniques. They’re of course in the vast, vast minority of people who set out on any religion or healing path. Some have no outward religion or “path” either. It’s interesting to though, that people become stuff free in some way other than useful healing techniques.

  12. 12
    Rachel says:

    Rose, I agree that a lot of forgiveness practices that are discussed today are essentially shallow and superficial and do not help. They allow us to “kid” ourselves that we are over something when in fact we are still suffering. It can be a form of self-deception.

    Bert Hellinger says that when you ‘forgive’ someone you make yourself superior to them. In his words:

    “Forgiveness creates an inequality between the person who forgives and the person who is forgiven.”

    He says the victim does not have the right to absolve the guilty party of their guilt. The guilt belongs to the perpetrator alone.

    I think a deeper question is to ask ourselves what need in us is met when we think we are forgiving someone else? For example, there are certain people in my life whom I have struggled to ‘forgive,’ and when I looked into it deeper I realised that what I really wanted from them was some type of acknowledgement of what had taken place.

    Someone pointed out to me that I could never be at peace until I saw that what I thought of as ‘forgiveness’ was actually me wanting something from someone, in other words, my sense that I needed something from outside of me in order to feel at peace.

    I began to see that I could work within myself to meet that need instead of continuing to yearn for something that would never be given by the other person.

    So yes, much of the forgiveness that is talked about serves just to numb the pain (like alcohol or marijuana).

    For all that, like some others here I cannot believe that cutting cords of attachment is the only way to heal. Look at Tom Hanks or Meryl Streep. I’ll bet they’ve never cut any cords, nor are they healers. Yet they’re Enlightened.

    It would be interesting and possibly fruitful to speculate as to how Enlightened people have managed to forgive – without the use of any official healing techniques.

    Maybe they have reached a point of such joy, of resting in their divine nature to such an extent that ‘forgiving’ people simply falls away and becomes unnecessary.

  13. 13

    Thanks, everyone, for your heartfelt and perceptive comments.

    RACHEL, you inspired me to insert something new into the main body of my blog post, for clarity. (Flagged in red letters.)

    This was my underlying thought all along, so obvious to me that I neglected to mention it.

    Here it is:

    Please note, I do not mean to imply that cutting cords of attachment is the only way to remove STUFF in the way of forgiveness.

    Instead I am making the point that moving out STUFF works far better than staying on the surface of life and dealing with all of the subconscious and astral programming.

    I happen to discuss cord cutting because it is a way that I am familiar with. If my blog were about other Third Millennium technologies that moved out STUFF, that would be my point of comparison.

  14. 14
    Grace S. says:

    Hi, I completely get what ROSE is pointing out in this article, and agree with her – my work with Energy Spirituality has transformed my life, while work with forgiveness has been counterproductive to my quality of life.

    That being said, I wanted to add this link to complement this discussion (http://being.publicradio.org/programs/2012/revenge-forgiveness/).

    It’s a show I heard on NPR yesterday, it’s an interview with a psychologist researching forgiveness (& revenge). He has a knack of bringing these global concepts down to daily reality – like the humorous example of countless ways we offer forgiveness to small children, for elbowing you in the eye for example!

    He’s a great speaker, breathes new life to these worn-out concepts in fruitful ways that can be applied to one’s daily quality of life.

    It somewhat allowed me to make peace with this “forgiveness” concept. The author wants to find a new word for it too, due to unproductive associations with the process in our society.

  15. 15

    Fascinating, GRACE S.

    Just yesterday I facilitated a session with a client, JOE, whose cord of attachment to his father included (for good reason, at the time):

    “I will never forgive you.”

    JOE had told me that currently, interacting with his Dad, he always tried to come from a place of forgiveness.

    Contradictions like this can happen, when forgiveness practices attempt to address subconscious STUFF that seeks revenge, replays hatred, etc. Think about the health and psychological implications of this contradiction, Blog-Buddies.

    IMHO, Adding forgiveness practices can be like putting a bug in a computer program.

    By the end of his session, JOE expressed willingness to let his (horrendous)father muddle through life without having JOE keep on blessing him.

    After a few weeks of respite, not having the old cord items replay through him constantly, JOE will be in a much better position to decide how hard he wants to work on forgiveness.

    I do look forward, GRACE S., to listening to the link you supplied. Thanks!

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