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Deeper Perception Made Practical

Forgiveness Quiz

 

Forgiveness is very much on the national mind, given an election that was so hard fought and polarized. But a need for forgiveness hardly waits to come up just every four years.

When you need it, you need it. Whenever.

But what is the best way to get forgiveness? Maybe today’s quiz can help clarify things for you, whether add zest to your current beliefs or open up new possibilities.

Answer TRUE or FALSE to the questions below. Plus — here’s the unusual part — for each of these questions you are invited to supply your ideas of what would help. Which kind of practice would make perfect? (And that could be a practice of any kind, officially a forgiveness practice or something else entirely).

  1. I need to forgive because I haven’t been the same since that bad thing happened.?
  2. I need to forgive because I keep thinking about the person who did that bad thing.
  3. I need to forgive because I have successfully cut my cord of attachment to the person who did that bad thing, yet I still keep thinking about it.
  4. I need to forgive because my religion requires it.
  5. I need to forgive because I want to be spiritually pure.
  6. I need to forgive because, until I forgive, I can’t get on with my life.
  7. I need to forgive because otherwise I keep feeling angry.
  8. I need to forgive because forgiveness practices will help me evolve on my path to Enlightenment.
  9. I need to forgive because what could be more important in life than forgiveness?
  10. ?I need to forgive because I want to forgive.

Blog-Buddies, I respond to these questions due to my perspectives as a healer with Energy Spirituality, a New Age Consumer, and someone who has begun to offer Enlightenment Coaching.

When you respond, in the comments below, perhaps you would like to include what shapes YOUR perspective.

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  1. 1
    INFP Starflower says:

    I think forgiveness means different things to different people. My abusive step-father has the idea that I should forgive him and fully trust him, even alone with my daughter, seventy times seven times. That’s NEVER happening. But to me, forgiveness is a kind of letting go – for my benefit, not his. After having my cord of attachment to him cut, and other cords of attachment where he had influence (cords of attachment to God, and other family members), I just don’t think about him anymore. I avoid him. I’m not obsessed or bent on revenge. I’ve moved on. Have I forgiven him? I think so. He doesn’t. Forgiveness means something very different to him than it does to me.

    As to the quiz, my version of forgiveness helps me in my current life, spiritual, social, all of it, really.

  2. 2

    What a lovely sharing, INFP STARFLOWER.

    I wonder if you would be amenable to going through the quiz questions, one by one, and sharing your specific reactions to each of these ideas.

    This might help you to appreciate in new ways the practical implications of what you have shared with us.

    It also might be helpful to our whole blog community. It is fascinating how a person can have one strongly held opinion or (fortunately) have found a solution that works.

    Yet components of the various Quiz Questions here are useful to re-think from time to time. Implications can be huge.

  3. 3
    Nicci says:

    1. I need to forgive because I haven’t been the same since that bad thing happened.?
    A. If I’ve not been the same since something happened, I don’t start by trying to forgive. I use what seems to be the best tool for tht particular job e.g. EFT, NLP, cord cutting, kinesiology etc. forgiveness may or may not arise quite naturally from that session. If it does, I let it. If it doesn’t I don’t worry about it!

    2. I need to forgive because I keep thinking about the person who did that bad thing.
    A.Cord cutting or other energy work is more effectiving in helping me not think about someone.

    3. I need to forgive because I have successfully cut my cord of attachment to the person who did that bad thing, yet I still keep thinking about it.
    A. I have sometimes had to do more energy work after cutting a cord to let go of another aspect that wasn’t in the cord. Tis isn’t focussing on forgiveness rather looking at how I interpreted the event.

    4.I need to forgive because my religion requires it.
    A. I don’t have a religion so nothing is required from me.

    5. I need to forgive because I want to be spiritually pure.
    No.

    6. I need to forgive because, until I forgive, I can’t get on with my life.
    I’ve found bottling things up and suppressing them to be very effective in allowing me to get on with life! (Of course they are now coming up to be dealt with which I am doing. But I still get up and get on with my life even when dealing with unpleasant memories).

    7. I need to forgive because otherwise I keep feeling angry.
    Like starflower said above, letting go and acceptance, rather than forgiving can work too. Or cord cutting can really help.

    8. I need to forgive because forgiveness practices will help me evolve on my path to Enlightenment.
    This is not something I worry about. I think integrity is the path to enlightenment. Forcing yourself to feel forgiveness when you do not is not in integrity.

    9. I need to forgive because what could be more important in life than forgiveness?
    I don’t think this.

    10. ?I need to forgive because I want to forgive.
    This works for me. There is no ‘should’ involved. If I want to forgive, I will.

  4. 4
    INFP Starflower says:

    “I need to forgive because I haven’t been the same since that bad thing happened.?”
    *Need to? I haven’t been the same since anything happened, good or bad. But I know I have to go through things to learn and grow.
    “I need to forgive because I keep thinking about the person who did that bad thing.”
    *Cutting cords of attachment certainly helps me to stop thinking about those people, and cutting cords of attachment helps me to forgive. Some Soul Energy Awakening sessions would probably help, too.
    “I need to forgive because I have successfully cut my cord of attachment to the person who did that bad thing, yet I still keep thinking about it.”
    *No answer
    “I need to forgive because my religion requires it.”
    *And how does this religion define “forgive”?
    “I need to forgive because I want to be spiritually pure.”
    *Define “spiritually pure”.
    “I need to forgive because, until I forgive, I can’t get on with my life.”
    *For me, this was true of growing up with an abusive step-father. My refined intention for my session where Rose facilitated cutting the cord of attachment to my step-father was “To live more in the present.” I was stuck in the past. For smaller things, I think I automatically forgive – my version of forgiveness, anyway.
    “I need to forgive because otherwise I keep feeling angry.”
    *Same as above. Except I would suppress the anger with not so pleasant results, so I didn’t consciously know that I was angry.
    “I need to forgive because forgiveness practices will help me evolve on my path to Enlightenment.”
    *And what might those forgiveness practices entail?
    “I need to forgive because what could be more important in life than forgiveness?”
    *Maybe. I have forgiven many people (and they’ve forgiven me), and we have wonderful relationships now, instead of holding on to anger, resentment, letting it fester, turning to hatred. Other people define forgiveness differently, and we don’t have the best relationships. To me, good relationships are one of the most important things in life.
    “?I need to forgive because I want to forgive.”
    *Is there really any better reason to forgive than because you want to?

  5. 5

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    I was so impressed that, after testing, I have made it my default browser.

    http://duckduckgo.com/ is the place to investigate.

    Learn more about this rather important aspect:
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    Also check out these Goodies: http://duckduckgo.com/goodies/#Music

  6. 6
    Primmie says:

    1. False.
    2. False.
    3. False.
    4. False.
    5. False.
    6. False. I hear that a lot. It doesn’t resonate for me.
    7. False.
    8. I’m not looking for Enlightenment so can’t really comment on this one.
    9. False.
    10. False. I don’t think I need to forgive even if I want to. When it happens it naturally flows and has little to do with whether I want it or not.

  7. 7
    Amy says:

    1 “I need to forgive because I haven’t been the same since that bad thing happened.?”
    False – it sounds more that the person needs more self-care -maybe they’re still not in a safe situation, maybe they never confronted the person, or dealt with the situation, or they still need to grieve/let themselves feel whatever emotion they need to, or they need professional help, perhaps PTSD, and/or they have STUFF stuck in their aura.

    2 I need to forgive because I keep thinking about the person who did that bad thing.
    I think STUFF and also perhaps emotive thinking, maybe PTSD, compulsive thinking, or they haven’t forgiven themselves or still blame themselves for that bad thing happening.

    3 I need to forgive because I have successfully cut my cord of attachment to the person who did that bad thing, yet I still keep thinking about it.
    False, they might still need to sort the situation out – have words with the person, report them to the police, or cut off all contact.

    4 I need to forgive because my religion requires it.

    Oooh Dicey -I don’t think you can force forgiveness.

    5 I need to forgive because I want to be spiritually pure.
    I’m not understanding this. Urm, false, you don’t need to be spiritually “pure”. Ick, that word reminds me of the chastity movement in America.

    6 I need to forgive because, until I forgive, I can’t get on with my life.
    False there are plenty of people who have tons of resentments and grudges and are successful in various different ways and are still alive etc etc.

    7 I need to forgive because otherwise I keep feeling angry.
    False because anger isn’t “bad” and something to stop feeling. It lets you know when something is wrong/dangerous and you need to defend yourself/exert you boundaries.

    8 I need to forgive because forgiveness practices will help me evolve on my path to Enlightenment.
    Erm, not necessarily. I suppose it could, but then everything is part of your path to enlightenment.

    9 I need to forgive because what could be more important in life than forgiveness?
    False. Well for me, being financially independent, safe, and successful in my studies are all prioritised higher than forgiveness.

    10 ?I need to forgive because I want to forgive.
    Best answer.

  8. 8
    Lisa says:

    This is one of my favorite topics as I’ve learned a lot from the process of forgiving.

    1. I need to forgive because I haven’t been the same since that bad thing happened.?

    Sometimes that happens and if it does, it is time to take the lessons from the situation. Keep the lessons, forgive to drop the baggage.

    2. I need to forgive because I keep thinking about the person who did that bad thing.

    same thing

    3. I need to forgive because I have successfully cut my cord of attachment to the person who did that bad thing, yet I still keep thinking about it.

    Cutting the psychic cord is just the beginning. Forgiveness is the next step, allowing one to set the situation free at the spiritual level.

    4. I need to forgive because my religion requires it.

    Religions ask that people forgive, but it is also a means to receive forgiveness. The Lord is merciful and freely offers forgiveness through His infinite love.

    Forgiving others is one thing. One needs to receive forgiveness too.

    5. I need to forgive because I want to be spiritually pure.

    Unforgiveness is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to get sick. The only way to move on is release baggage, and that comes through forgiveness.

    6. I need to forgive because, until I forgive, I can’t get on with my life.

    True. see above.

    7. I need to forgive because otherwise I keep feeling angry.

    Forgiveness is a step to releasing anger.

    8. I need to forgive because forgiveness practices will help me evolve on my path to Enlightenment.

    True.

    9. I need to forgive because what could be more important in life than forgiveness?

    True

    10. ?I need to forgive because I want to forgive.

    True

    Forgiving others is a step forward. It isn’t letting the other person off the hook, it’s releasing the negative energy. And when asking for forgiveness from someone, even if that person doesn’t grant it, God will forgive. Perhaps the other person isn’t ready to forgive and if that is the case, accept God’s forgiveness and pray for the person.

  9. 9
    Amanda says:

    1. I need to forgive because I haven’t been the same since that bad thing happened.?

    No, there’s other work to be done and I would think first of cord-cutting.

    2. I need to forgive because I keep thinking about the person who did that bad thing.

    This to me is also a case for cord-cutting before anything else.

    3. I need to forgive because I have successfully cut my cord of attachment to the person who did that bad thing, yet I still keep thinking about it.

    Well yes, in this case there is clearly more work to be done and forgiveness might well form a part of that.

    4. I need to forgive because my religion requires it.

    This made me laugh – it’s a bit like ‘I need to have showers because my mummy told me to’

    5. I need to forgive because I want to be spiritually pure.

    Not really the very best intention and the results would probably follow!

    6. I need to forgive because, until I forgive, I can’t get on with my life.

    True to some degree, but I’ve noticed learning also needs to be involved and there is often much more than that one thing to do. If we haven’t strengthened up at a power level then forgiveness is not helpful.

    7. I need to forgive because otherwise I keep feeling angry.

    Yes, it makes sense to at least intend to forgive when I keep feeling angry. I have also made mistakes in life and playing the aggrieved and self-righteous role is not helpful.

    8. I need to forgive because forgiveness practices will help me evolve on my path to Enlightenment.

    Well again it isn’t the very best reason to bring to the table – but it’s still true! So yes

    4. I need to forgive because what could be more important in life than forgiveness?

    It’s definitely important. It really clarifies and shows us what is ‘me-me-me’ inside us. So yes, for our internal peace I would say it is the most important thing. But other things are also important and forgiveness is more of a support to those wonders of life than a central fact of it.

    10. I need to forgive because I want to forgive.

    Of course! – our hearts always want to forgive. Pure joy! This is really why we do it, just for the fun of it 🙂

  10. 10
    Amanda says:

    I just wanted to change something in my answers. I remember when I was in a very deep state of suffering and pain a few years ago, I realised that the pain I felt was not the pain of not being loved – it was the pain of not being love.

    Our bodies and minds can’t be happy or peaceful if we’re not loving. They need to love for us to be well and sane and happy.

    It is completely empowering as well – other people are no longer the problem. We become the ones in charge of the way we feel.

    So actually I’d like to change my answer to number 9 to a big fat yes 😀

    Amanda

  11. 11
    Amy says:

    Thanks for the website recommendation Rose. I didn’t realise so much was tracked. I have also downloaded the Ghostery Chrome app, and already some pages I have viewed have at least 10 different programs tracking you!

    If I could recommend to Blogbuddies something off topic but amazing. Memrise.com has been teaching me Mandarin. memrise.com/guardianchallenge has been reading pickled and preserved vegetables, and recognising the actual characters. LOL

  12. 12
    Jordan says:

    Thanks for that website, Amy! It’s so much fun. I just put 25 Mandarin characters in my short-term memory!

  13. 13

    Such interesting and beautiful responses! Keep ’em coming, Blog-Buddies.

    I would like to comment here on part of one of the comments, response to #3 from LISA. “Cutting the psychic cord is just the beginning. Forgiveness is the next step, allowing one to set the situation free at the spiritual level.”

    I have no way of knowing the quality of skill involved in what LISA mentioned, but from my perspective I definitely disagree. A trained professional at Energy Spirituality helps a client to obtain a huge range of healing.

    Appropriate put-in during some of the 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment, supplemented by other skills that would be used by a professional in this field, definitely do address spiritual filling up.

    Hey, that’s why many Blog-Buddies have been moving toward or into Enlightenment!

    Obviously it is important (and fascinating) that everyone uses the combo of skills personally needed.

  14. 14
    Lisa says:

    When cutting cords of attachment, there is typically homework and I see this as part of the homework to bring about full healing.

  15. 15

    Aha, LISA, a technical point about the 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment. Love it!

    And such a coincidence that you just sent this comment. Right now I am editing a new book, taking a break. This one is called, “Cut Cords of Attachment for Yourself.”

    It is a major revision, compared to the book that prepares a person to facilitate healing for self and friends and family.

    The new how-to is devoted exclusively to self-healing. All the steps are clarified and simplified.

    At Step 12, which includes homework, a 10-minute homework is suggested. And I really recommend that this be a human type of homework, rather than a spiritual or religious practice.

    I couldn’t agree with you more that Step 7 in this sequence, physically removing the cord of attachment, is just a part of the technique. Steps 8-12 are all about the put-in component, related to the need you cited earlier for spiritual put-in.

    Now I understand better what you meant, in that small part of your earlier comment. 🙂

  16. 16

    AMANDA, I also want to thank you for your follow-up comment with more insight into that Quiz Question #9.

    I am honored to have these thoughtful answers shared here. And it makes me so happy — speaking of happy — to have even you, of the mighty brain, reflecting and exploring on this vital topic.

    Really, AMANDA, you deserve a shout out. Obviously (perhaps) (definitely) you inspired this whole thread with some recent nominees you sent for the Enlightenment Life List.

  17. 17

    Okay, as long as shout-outs have begun, I want to acknowledge the mighty brains of all you who have contributed here.

    I happen to know and care about every one of you. Awesome beings, for sure!

    The variety of answers at this thread is just beginning, I suspect. Because great minds think differently, or what’s the point?

  18. 18
    Amanda says:

    ROSE, thank you so much, I’m honoured to have a shout-out! 🙂

    It is a vital topic and (for me) so tied up with balancing it with power and owning the ability to say ‘No’.

    ‘I love you but this behaviour is wrong for me and I won’t put up with it’ is a very powerful statement, but often hard to arrive at in private rehearsal, never mind in front of another person.

    As always, thank you for your brilliant blog, Rose.

    Amanda

  19. 19
    Amy says:

    Jordan,

    Yay glad you like it! I’ve just finished Level 9 LOL.

  20. 20
    Elaine says:

    1.I need to forgive because I haven’t been the same since that bad thing happened.
    I do a cord cutting session instead of dwelling on it.

    2.I need to forgive because I keep thinking about the person who did that bad thing.
    No. The cord cutting has dissolved all the yuck in the cord related to that person.

    3.I need to forgive because I have successfully cut my cord of attachment to the person who did that bad thing, yet I still keep thinking about it.
    No. My answer is still cord cutting and it’s all dissolved.

    4.I need to forgive because my religion requires it.
    False.

    5.I need to forgive because I want to be spiritually pure.
    False.

    6.I need to forgive because, until I forgive, I can’t get on with my life.
    False

    7.I need to forgive because otherwise I keep feeling angry.
    False.

    8.I need to forgive because forgiveness practices will help me evolve on my path to Enlightenment.
    False to my way of thinking.

    9.I need to forgive because what could be more important in life than forgiveness?
    False

    10.I need to forgive because I want to forgive.
    This one I take a middle road between True or False. If I want to forgive, that’s fine but I don’t feel it’s necessary.

    To all of these questions my answer is cord cutting is the solution for healing in my life. Cord cutting has proven to dissolve the “stuff” and other yuck factors built up over the years as an empath.

    Once a cord is cut to someone, relief and healing feels like an instant — or subtle — relief. No more recycling “stuff” 24/7. For me cord cutting has proven to be a great tool in moving forward to a happier, more productive and enlightening life.

    When the cord is cut, I don’t worry about past dynamics with that person and/or situation any longer. It no longer has any terrible significance in my life.

  21. 21
    Jim Curry says:

    I’ve been told that God forgives in two stages. If any person desires forgiveness, they will be forgiven the sin itself—whatever it was that went wrong. That part appears to be no problem—available freely to all. However, the offender can have any disposition along a very wide spectrum. Some people don’t really fret about the error itself. They just want to avoid uncomfortable consequences. Such people are forgiven the sin, but they are not spared the consequences (or so I’m told). On the other hand, a person’s consciousness can rise to a much higher level, where their motivation stems primarily from the relationship to God. Those who rise high enough in the spectrum of those aspirations appear also to be forgiven the consequences. Because most people have some trouble in this area, most seem to get the sin itself forgiven—but are not usually spared the consequences. This is at least my reading of the Dialogue of Catherine of Siena. Cathy appears to have been way cool indeed, and seemed to know what she was doing in a big, big way.

    So, it seems that we ourselves should always forgive everyone—all the time—for whatever it was that troubled us. We may not be able to do that instantly, since we are not God. When we can actually do it, it seems that is the goal or policy always and everywhere. We keep nothing unforgiven in that sense, and it appears to be our work to get to the place of forgiveness as efficiently as we can manage to do it. Having the intention to forgive at that level should be a top priority.

    Some people are not going to change. They’re going to keep at their pattern for a while more. While they’re finding their way, it isn’t necessary for each of us to rub our faces in their process. You can forgive the person the error without granting them continued access to your own august presence. You don’t have to have them to tea. You don’t have to give them 100 consecutive chances to visit the same problem on you.

    If someone really is on a path of change, you can let the relationship mend at a natural human speed. You don’t have to force it. You can break a bone in 5 seconds, and it will take 6 weeks to knit reasonably well. When you’re not watching, it will still be healing for two or three years, even after it becomes weight bearing. Humans heal pretty slowly. It can be the same kind of thing for emotional disturbance. What happens quickly can heal slowly. The point isn’t to pretend all is well in 5 seconds. The point is to avoid getting in the way of healing—the natural process, in its own time.

    Personally, and not referring to St. Catherine (a really top saint, and probably a hoot to chat with), I think people forget that forgiveness is only a gateway. It is, if we take it, the first portion of a long process. We get forgiven. We do reparation. We find ways or policies to do better next time. We work to incorporate the changes we need. This can be time consuming—or not. It depends how you do it. It depends what ways are available to you.

    A “fix” or healing that would take decades by other means might be accomplished in just a moment—a twinkling—if there is a spiritual path for it to happen. If that path isn’t available, it’s a good idea to take the path that is available.

    I forgive people for whatever…always, no matter what it is. Many times, it seems a poor idea to forgive the consequences and have them to tea. Our world still has its share of sociopaths. My policy—leave them in peace, but leave them.

    In my view, then, most of the quiz questions are false because they are a bit the wrong question.

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