“Get over yourself” continues to be an interesting way to spark appreciation for one’s sense of self. Yesterday’s post on getting over yourself has generated some fascinating responses.
Not until I read these comments did it occur to me that, of course, we empaths have such a different perspective on “Myself,” we would have quite a range of perspectives on “Get over yourself.”
That’s because, to me, becoming a skilled empath involves waking up from inside. Along the way we empaths can develop a stronger sense of identity.
Outside the system of Empath Empowerment, much importance is given to boundaries. Ironically, that works better for non-empaths.
For an unskilled empath, boundaries in speech and action are not mere social skills. They depend on consciousness. By strengthening the self from the inside, with consciousness, automatically it becomes easier to:
- Be yourself.
- Let objective reality be itself.
- When needed, get over yourself.
For today’s post, here’s perspective of a man who knows from experience about Empath Empowerment® and becoming skilled as an empath, not merely talented (a.k.a. “An unskilled empath”).
Headings, links, and minor copy edits are mine; the rest is all DAVE’s. Expressed with a distinctive individuality that I hope he never, ever seeks to “Get over.”
SKILLED Empath Versus UNSKILLED Empath
As I think back on different jobs or situations from before becoming a skilled empath, its hard for me to remember my feelings or opinions.
My current perspectives on people, interaction, etc. are so completely different. For the past three years, Ive been using skills of Empath Empowerment, cord cutting and, more recently, spiritual cleansing and protection.
I think a big thing that Ive come to realize is: You dont really need to do more than you need to do.
Not to scrape by necessarily. But, really, you can just do whats required — stay on the surface, and dont get unnecessarily involved with people or situations that wont be beneficial for you.
Misery of an unskilled empath, doing unskilled empath merges constantly
I had a few jobs in restaurants during my unskilled empath days. Then I was constantly:
- Overanalyzing things
- Sometimes getting involved with the drama of coworkers
- And lacking confidence.
Not having a strong, grounded sense of self leaves you sort of floating around… this and that direction.
Quite an unhappy way to live for the most part.
Its like cohesive sanity is just beyond your grasp. As an empath, my gifts include Emotional Intuition and Emotional Oneness, both emotionally-oriented gifts for being an empath.
With those gifts, doing repeated unskilled empath merges on strangers all day, especially at a bar, leaves you all sorts of mucked up.
My advice, as a skilled empath
If I was in those positions again, I would:
- Just stay on the surface with customers and coworkers
- Try to entertain myself
- Focus on myself first
- Avoid over-extending myself
- And, basically, just do what I want in the confines of the position.
If someone seems friendly, chat.
If I dont feel like chatting, give the service required, thats it.
I wouldnt recommend (and do not, personally, at this point in my life) feel obligated to do anything for anyone thats not required of me.
More about work boundaries for a skilled empath
Working this way brings a simpler way of life, too. Because most people dont expect much more than the basic of whats required.
Often, going above and beyond doesnt yield you anything except confusion or being taken for granted.
As opposed to what?
Trying to connect to everyone and to be emotionally available all the time.
Instead an empath can jjust stay on the surface. We can experiment with different uses of objective reality. This is the real key.
Also, as a skilled empath, a lot of the subjective is finally under control. So you can start living as a normal person,. You can assert yourself from a stable identity.
So the skilled empath solution to crappy jobs IMHO:
Put yourself first. Find ways to entertain yourself. Do what you want, yet dont get fired. Thats it!