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Deeper Perception Made Practical

When an Empath Tries to "Get over Yourself." A Guest Post from DAVE

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Get over yourself” continues to be an interesting way to spark appreciation for one’s sense of self. Yesterday’s post on getting over yourself has generated some fascinating responses.

Not until I read these comments did it occur to me that, of course, we empaths have such a different perspective on “Myself,” we would have quite a range of perspectives on “Get over yourself.”

That’s because, to me, becoming a skilled empath involves waking up from inside. Along the way we empaths can develop a stronger sense of identity.

Outside the system of Empath Empowerment, much importance is given to boundaries. Ironically, that works better for non-empaths.

For an unskilled empath, boundaries in speech and action are not mere social skills. They depend on consciousness. By strengthening the self from the inside, with consciousness, automatically it becomes easier to:

For today’s post, here’s perspective of a man who knows from experience about Empath Empowerment® and becoming skilled as an empath, not merely talented (a.k.a. “An unskilled empath”).

Headings, links, and minor copy edits are mine; the rest is all DAVE’s. Expressed with a distinctive individuality that I hope he never, ever seeks to “Get over.”

SKILLED Empath Versus UNSKILLED Empath

As I think back on different jobs or situations from before becoming a skilled empath, it’s hard for me to remember my feelings or opinions.

My current perspectives on people, interaction, etc. are so completely different. For the past three years, I’ve been using skills of Empath Empowerment, cord cutting and, more recently, spiritual cleansing and protection.

I think a big thing that I’ve come to realize is: You don’t really need to do more than you need to do.

Not to scrape by necessarily. But, really, you can  just do what’s required  —  stay on the surface, and don’t get unnecessarily involved with people or situations that won’t be beneficial for you.

Misery of an unskilled empath, doing unskilled empath merges constantly

I had a few jobs in restaurants during my unskilled empath days. Then I was constantly:

  • Overanalyzing things
  • Sometimes getting involved with the drama of coworkers
  • And lacking confidence.

Not having a strong, grounded sense of self leaves you sort of floating around… this and that direction.

Quite an unhappy way to live for the most part.

It’s like cohesive sanity is just beyond your grasp. As an empath, my gifts include Emotional Intuition and Emotional Oneness, both emotionally-oriented gifts for being an empath.

With those gifts, doing repeated unskilled empath merges on strangers all day, especially at a bar, leaves you all sorts of mucked up.

My advice, as a skilled empath

If I was in those positions again, I would:

  1. Just stay on the surface with customers and coworkers
  2. Try to entertain myself
  3. Focus on myself first
  4. Avoid over-extending myself
  5. And, basically, just do what I want in the confines of the position.

If someone seems friendly, chat.

If I don’t feel like chatting, give the service required, that’s it.

I wouldn’t recommend (and do not, personally, at this point in my life) feel obligated to do anything for anyone that’s not required of me.

More about work boundaries for a skilled empath

Working this way brings a simpler way of life, too. Because most people don’t expect much more than the basic of what’s required.

Often, going above and beyond doesn’t yield you anything except confusion or being taken for granted.

As opposed to what?

Trying to connect to everyone and to be emotionally available all the time.

Instead an empath can jjust stay on the surface. We can experiment with different uses of objective reality. This is the real key.

Also, as a skilled empath, a lot of the subjective is finally under control. So you can start living as a normal person,. You can assert yourself from a stable identity.

So the skilled empath solution to crappy jobs – IMHO:

Put yourself first. Find ways to entertain yourself. Do what you want, yet don’t get fired. That’s it!

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  1. 1

    This comment from STEPHANIE has huge meaning for empaths, I think.

    It also comes from one of our Blog-Buddies in Enlightenment, as some of you may remember about this particular STEPHANIE.

    For those of you who are learning to gain a practical definition of Householder Enlightenment, one very big piece of Enlightenment for householders is exactly what she has just described:

    “I had an expanded awareness of people as people in physical presence — no big-huge-cosmic-whoop — just being here. I was just comfortably Me….”

  2. 2
    Grace S. says:

    Right on Dave! Been there, done that, best advice ever.

    “Just stay on the surface with customers and coworkers. Try to entertain myself. Focus on myself first. Avoid over-extending myself. And, basically, just do what I want in the confines of the position.”

  3. 3
    Stephanie says:

    More about that objective reality and how much better it is to work when you are a skilled empath.

    Last Sunday I helped to staff Rose’s Expo booth at the Pathways Natural Living Expo.

    This year, I was as a really skilled empath, it was a vastly improved experience over last fall’s Pathways Expo.

    I had no feeling of having to focus to keep extraneous astral chitter-chatter at bay, no seduction into unskilled empath merges, no hyper-vigilant celestial defenses.

    I was just there, completely intact and loving it this way.

    And I had an expanded awareness of people as people in physical presence — no big-huge-cosmic-whoop — just being here. I was just comfortably Me, easily able to use my Outside Voice to ask people how I could help them.

    They spoke, I listened.

    And I found it easy to direct them to the appropriate resource. While still knowing how I could improve next time, it was pleasant and beautiful in the Now of it.

  4. 4
    Jordan says:

    Totally agree with you, Dave.

    Personally I feel like if strangers are friendly, that’s a bonus. If they’re not terribly attentive, *shrug*.

    Life can be pretty intense for anyone, including non-empaths, so I understand someone wanting to keep to themselves.

  5. 5

    Just for fun, Blog-Buddies, I’ve just had a “Get over yourself” insight today.

    I reserve the right to have a sense of humor about some things and not others.

    This is not a matter of “Get over yourself” for me or anyone, more an inalienable right!

  6. 6
    Dave says:

    Thanks for finding my insights worthwhile Rose, and thank you for the vital education that is this blog.

    I hope to write more blog posts in the future that can help other blog buddies!

  7. 7
    Jesse says:

    Fascinating blog post – I totally agree that going above and beyond does not yield anything except confusion or being taken for granted.

    Rose- I was hoping you might expand on your comment – For an unskilled empath, boundaries in speech and action are not mere social skills. They depend on consciousness.

  8. 8

    JESSE, thanks for your two perceptive comments in a row.

    I’ll comment as a blog post. You’re right. This is a topic worth exploring at length, in depth. 🙂

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