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Mentoring Empaths

Mentoring Empaths

Mentoring Empaths. Read all about it from America’s most experienced Empath Coach

Mentoring Empaths. How to seek support if you’ve just learned you’re an empath. Should you seek somebody local? Somebody with a big FB group? What?

VICKY just sent in a sweetly worded, heartfelt question about what to do when you have learned you are an empath:

“I’m new to being an Empath, in terminology at least, and would love to be Happier and de-clutter. I was wondering if there was anyone you could suggest in London who works on a mentoring approach in such areas? Many thanks!”

I started responding. One comment after comment another. Until I realized, hello! It’s a great blog topic. So let’s consider it.

What can you do if you’re interested in empath skills and you want somebody local to teach you?

When Choosing Mentoring, Empaths Play It Smart

When I published the first book in English (and many other countries) for empaths, the field was just beginning. Now you can find loads of teachers, coaches, and experts.

So “Empath coaching” has become commonly understood in pop culture, with many choices, like “meditation” or “cars.”

All are not alike. Empath Empowerment(R) is a unique system. Seems to me…

Enjoying the results that flow from your training as an empath…

Might matter more to you than the convenience factor of studying with someone nearby.

Quick interlude about the funniest thing

Recently I have done a series of healing sessions of Energy Spirituality to help GLADYS. She is a talented, serious ballroom dancer.

One session at a time, we were solving problems related to the (frankly) mediocre quality of instruction at the Acme Dance Academy. (Fictional name, resemblance to any persons or dancing schools, living or dead, totally a coincidence. 😉 )

All those energy healing sessions helped GLADYS, don’t get me wrong. But there was a rather large moment of truth when I finally thought to ask her, “Have you ever investigated other schools for ballroom dancing?”

Never! GLADYS only went to the one in her neighborhood.

“Do you know where there might be a better ballroom dancing school?”

“Over at Tyson’s Corner.” About 30 minutes away from the Acme Dance Academy. Yes, a fortnight divided by quite a number of days, equivalent to half an hour.

GLADYS had been so locked into the convenience of “Close by,” she had been putting up with loads of other problems that might be solved simply by going to a still-pretty-convenient school.

It made me giggle, considering how “Thinking outside the box” can solve a bunch of problems. And how sometimes that limiting “Box” is just about being nearby/propinquity.

Mentoring Empaths. Is Commute Time the Point?

Granted, VICKY and other emerging empaths, if you were searching for mentoring in how to deliver an exquisite twirl on the dance floor, studying in person would be pretty important. For empath mentoring or empath coaching or empath training? Not so much.

But before moving over to specific recommendations for you, isn’t there an elephant in the room? On that dance floor? 😉

Mentoring Empaths. What Do You Think Is the Purpose, Anyway?

The purpose for you. Clearly, this is a very personal question.

  1. Do you want somebody to tell you to fix your interpersonal boundaries? My informal surveys have shown that, ironically, boundary work can definitely help non-empaths but doesn’t do much for empaths. Except to cause us to feel terrible about ourselves, chalking up “One more failure.
  2. Do you want an empath coach who will commiserate with you about your terrible “Disability,” then help you to take a nice healing bath or perhaps use a crystal for auric cleanup or self-consolation?
  3. Do you seek an empath mentor who will teach you how to question the cascades of STUFF that enter into your auric field, as if giving yourself that immense and perpetual detective job would really create any permanent change?
  4. Would you consider it a triumph to find an empath teacher who will help you sort out many kinds of energy vampires and teach you avoidance ideas?

Because all that… and way more… and way less… is right out there in the empath marketplace right now. Much of it very near to you, probably.

So thank you so much for asking me for ideas, VICKY. 🙂

 

Mentoring Empaths. Convenience.

Seeking an Empath Coach isn’t like looking for a hairdresser.

Local doesn’t matter. Not even local-ish.

The most local, inexpensive, flexible mentoring for an empath can come from “Become The Most Important Person in the Room.” At Amazon.com UK, books by Rose Rosetree, the top two books to come up are my two books for empaths. Cute!

An eBook edition, available just like my paperback.

Cycling through that “30-Day Plan for Empath Empowerment” even once can turn you into a skilled empath. While cycling through the book additional times can take your empath skills even deeper.

Both the reading and homework, do just one short chapter per day, and a sloppy job, not what you might call a “proper” job, VICKY. Definitely not taking more than 10-15 minutes total per day, usually less.

 

Mentoring Empaths. Talk to this Empath Coach.

Not everyone likes to learn just from books. For more personal mentoring, you might consider one or more… personal sessions.

Personal for you, VICKY, as in your being there in London, then using your phone or making a Skype call to have me coach you one mentoring session at a time. This link offers juicy details about mentoring sessions for empaths, or to learn other skill sets that I write about and use and teach in workshops.

Also available is a Skype video call. If you can get a webcam thingie working, we can see each other, wave, make funny faces, etc.

I am so in like with Skype. Just yesterday I got to “Go to Croatia” to help a client over Skype. And we’ve pretty much got the audio recording part working, as well.

Some students in Europe, Asia, South American, Austrailia, Africa — or the far land of California — or other places — would like more than one 55-minute coaching at a time. So I offer some different mentoring programs:

  • Mentoring Program in Energy Spirituality
  • Professional Face Reading Correspondence Course, and
  • Day of Mentoring in the specialty of your choice… which could be Empath Empowerment!

Any other questions about studying empath skills, VICKY and others?

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  1. 1
    Vicky says:

    Thanks for the fast and personal reply Rose! Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever prompted a blog post before!

    Why did I ask about local? Well as an empath, you won’t be surprised. As someone who naturally takes responsibility on a gazillion things and being interested in endless topics, I have a ridiculously busy life including a long-hours full time day job (in ecommerce, on pc all day) and part-time Masters study. I don’t want to spend any more time on my backside in front of a computer screen each day or week, it’s not good for my eyes, and I can’t face reading yet another book. Equally I find reading doesn’t expurge, I like to talk and discuss. And I like to commit to going somewhere, which whilst it’s an additional commitment and responsibility in itself, makes me set boundaries to my others.

    Personal mentoring sessions would be interesting, but alas this is more screen time, and not within my budget I’m afraid. There, boundaries! I’d really prefer to find somewhere in London, and have looked up the centre you blogged about previously. Some of the courses and healing look really interesting, but ideally I would like to find a Rose here 🙂 I’ll carry on researching a little while and maybe come back to you when I’ve toned-down the study and screen time!

    Many thanks for the information,
    Vicky x

  2. 2
    Hannah says:

    I find this exchange fascinating. This is just my perspective, of course.

    1. Vicki would love would love to be happier and de-clutter energetically by studying with someone who can help her as an empath.

    2. You explain several different ways, how to learn from an inexpensive book and take 10 minutes a day, how to use an audiobook, how to study in person. You hint at some of the huge benefits to come from becoming trained as an empath.

    3. Then Vicki explains why she can’t do any of this. She doesn’t have the time. She doesn’t want to learn from a book. She doesn’t want to learn from an audiobook. And mostly, apparently, she wants to talk and discuss and go somewhere that is not home.

    Fascinating.

  3. 3
    Amy says:

    Hi Vicky, I’m based near London! Although I’m not an empath mentor, just an empath who’s learned skills! If you don’t like screen time, I would go for the mentoring over the phone. I’m also in a position where I would need to save up for a little while (also I just paid for a holiday in Italy, squeee!) but I always learn and grow so much that I’m budgeting for them to a certain extent and my extra cash will go in the pot! Also Rose’s book “How to be the Most Important Person in the Room” is one where you read just one chapter a day (and they’re not extremely long!!) so you can digest that days ideas and practice that days technique. Sometimes I would focus on the same chapter for several days. I’m also working all day on the computer (data quality officer!) and then I’m studying part time with the Open University. I think I’ve gone the opposite way to you, as I spend too much time reading blogs and books unrelated to my study rather than studying!

  4. 4

    Thanks for those perspectives, HANNAH and AMY.

    AMY, it was sweet of you to take the time to share your perspective — as someone who has grown by leaps and bounds.

    It is wise of you, VICKY, to use your self-authority to decide what you wish to do, and when. And you’re welcome for the blog post.

    For you, and others who are considering learning Empath Empowerment, here’s what I really appreciate about AMY’s comment.

    It reminds us that gaining skills as an empath is what matters.

    In today’s society, it may seem that we can get fine results by having a mentor or friend to talk to. Or we might even feel as though learning about being an empath could be like joining an exciting new club — if you can only share your experiences with like-minded members, you have gained the benefit of being an empath.

  5. 5

    Not true, however. It isn’t the least bit true.

    Being an empath, either you are skilled or you’re not.

    It doesn’t matter how much company you have, or other forms of social affiliation.

    Friends, mentors, topics of conversation… this will not “de-clutter” your energy field or bring the big shifts in identity or other benefits of being a skilled empath.

    Developing empath skills is something we can find the time for, if we value the project. But if what we want is companionship or a casual hobby, personally, I can’t think of a bigger waste of time than joining an empath club.

    If you get together to discuss the weather, or many other topics, a person might learn something useful.

    Whereas hanging out with a group of unskilled empaths to discuss being an empath (Granted, not what you meant, VICKY. Wisely the whole purpose of your writing was to find a true mentor in the field of empath coaching. But just to consider that possibility), what is likely to happen?

    You will hear improvised ideas and “coping strategies” and plenty of other misinformation that can actually create negative side effects aurically and subconsciously.

    Better to do nothing until you actually can find the 10 minutes a day to do a something that works. In my opinion.

  6. 6

    Here’s an empath success story to supplement what AMY wrote.

    In case you Blog-Buddies and lurkers are wondering just how big a commitment it needs to be, becoming skilled as an empath.

    I just got off the phone with a client, GLADYS. She has had two sessions with me last year, for healing with Energy Spirituality. Today she had a third one.

    How she found me originally? Internet search on “Empath.”

    We have never discussed empath mentoring in our sessions, except that she got a copy of “Empowered by Empathy” and also “Become The Most Important Person in the Room.”

    During our energy healing session today, I did a Skilled Empath Merge (of course, as usual) and reported back to GLADYS that she is doing great as a skilled empath.

    Definitely, results show all the way through her aura. Definitely, this is a big upgrade, self-healing that she has done entirely on her own.

    It didn’t take her much time to learn, nor does it take much time on an ongoing basis.

    How do I know? She gave me a quick summary of what she has been doing.

  7. 7
    Kylie says:

    As someone who now is a skilled empath (after reading Rose’s two books, and taking her workshop for learning empath skills, and having many sessions with Rose) I can say that one of the best things about learning the skills is that I now make much better use of the time that I have.

    As an unskilled empath I spent so much time walking around in a fog of other people’s emotions, and I was so often confused about what I wanted that I didn’t make great use of the time I had.

    In your situation Vicky I would suggest having a phone session or two of energy spirituality with Rose, and then reading the books. But however you do it, I can’t stress enough how life changing having the skills will be…

  8. 8
    Jill Erin says:

    Vicky,

    I really encourage you to get the book Become the Most Important Person In The Room. It is only one, very short, chapter and exercise (that is super easy to do) a day. It takes about 10 minutes, as reported by everyone else.

    I can still VIVIDLY remember the first time I was successful at pulling myself into MYSELF. It was very early on in that books exercises and it was pure Bliss. I had never felt just myself before. I went to my bed and just lay there in bliss and wonderment and exploring how it felt to be just me. It is so worth the small price for the book and the small amount of time each day.

  9. 9
    Elaine says:

    I wouldn’t settle for anyone less than Rose for a session, and I work all day on the computer also, but I would definitely do the 55 minutes for a session via skype with Rose.

  10. 10
    Amanda says:

    Oh Jill I loved your comment because it reminded me of the sea of silence I experienced when I learned how to switch off my empathy. Glorious!

    To me it felt as if I’d placed an order for the ocean with Amazon, expecting it to arrive in a brown cardboard box – but I opened the front door one day, and there it was! The actual ocean.

    Vicky, I join in with the recommendations to pursue Rose’s approach. Good luck with it 🙂

    Amanda

  11. 11

    Thanks for those words of encouragements to newbies, KYLIE, JILL ERIN, ELAINE, AMANDA.

    Funny thing. As this thread is developing, I’m reminded of aspects of empath coaching of importance to all empaths — at every level of skill, including some of you Blog-Buddies who have explored empath skills for years.

    Two points about this in particular. I’ll turn each one into a comment for your consideration.

  12. 12

    Empath Empowerment Progress Point #1:

    Please remember to use the whole system, not doing improvs.

    Only yesterday, I helped GLADYS in a session. (I know. Imagine that. “Gladys.” ;-))

    She had slipped into spiritual addiction, and we were able to change that unhelpful momentum.

    One of the habits that got her there? GLADYS had read “Become The Most Important Person in the Room.” As the months went by, at complicated Earth School, she forgot most of what she read but retained the general idea that unskilled empath merge was a bad thing.

    So she would purposely do something “All day long.” GLADYS described it like this:

    “When I start moving into the experience of someone else, I shut myself down. Then I try hard to distract myself.”

    Hello! This is a technique, a sort of improv that GLADYS made up out of good intentions. This improv is nothing like a technique in the system of Empath Empowerment(R).

    Please do not manipulate your consciousness all day long.

    Do not consider that you are doing yourself a favor by “Shutting yourself down.” (Whatever that might mean to you.)

    I implore you, do not try to “Distract yourself” in the midst of being a normal human being.

    Okay, more about this empath educational chunk — and the second one — after I do some sessions this morning.

  13. 13

    Empath Empowerment Progress Point #2

    Becoming skilled as an empath is no trivial skill, no paranormal hobby, not just a smallish set of techniques. And, heaven forbid, not one more support group to join.

    Really, Empath Empowerment brings no less than re-aligning the empath’s sense of identity. Sense of self, in a healthy way, develops.

    This sense of identity is what turns empath gifts OFF without having to mix in techniques all day long.

    Healing sessions of Energy Spirituality also contribute to that sense of identity, because a person has less subconscious/astral STUFF, then more PUT-IN that resonates with that same current, and appropriate, sense of identity.

  14. 14
    David says:

    Fascinating article and comments discussion.
    For myself, I learned to repress it. Over time, I’ve gradually and carefully learned to turn it on again but only very carefully.

    This has had a strong influence on my development. Some stuff has unfolded “backwards” for example. It’s also meant less connected to the world.

    But it’s taken a long time to find someone who I’d even consider mentoring with. You’re a gem, Rose.

  15. 15

    Sweet! Thank you for this as for all your latest round of comments, DAVID.

  16. 16
    D.T. says:

    Thank you Rose fort the Empath Empowerment Progress Points! The exact reminder I needed.

  17. 17
    Kris says:

    Another option for people looking for help with their gift, if I may be so bold, is a Facebook group.
    We have a lot of wonderful people in all stages of using and living with their gift(s) of empathy and we’ve worked hard to make it not only a great place for questions, learning and teaching, but a safe haven with very little negativity.
    Our group can be found here,
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/EmpathSupportGroup/

    if you or anyone is interested. We are always looking for new people at all levels of experience and love on this great journey.
    *huggles* and blessings,
    Kris

  18. 18

    Sounds like KRIS has a big heart, and he is offering community, Blog-Buddies. I have made his comment live so that you can consider what he is offering and take advantage of it accordingly.

    However, you can gather clues about the type of help offered in some the words of his comment.

    1. “Help with their gift”?

    I would be leery of learning from empath teachers who call it “one gift.” As many of you know, there are many different gifts that you could have as an empath.

    How can you trust teachers who don’t even get that basic part straight?

    2. Support group?

    What, empaths need a support group? Personally, I believe that empaths need skills.

    3. A safe haven with very little negativity?

    Empaths, if that’s what you want, go to the movies and see a pleasant film.

    Empath skills are way too important to reduce to pleasant community.

    People experimenting with their consciousness, testing things out on themselves and each other, simply trusting that results will be good?

    Please, do that with stamp collecting. Not with how your mind-body-spirit is wired for life.

    Experiment with the clothing you wear. Not your consciousness.

    My advice? Find an expert you trust to help you develop lifelong skills as an empath. You deserve better than a support group of people giving each other consolation, free advice, and huggles.

    KRIS might consider this response “negative,” but I believe that discernment and learning matter enormously for the 1 in 20 people on earth born as empaths.

  19. 19
    Jill Erin says:

    I couldn’t agree with you more, Rose. I appreciate Kris’s intentions but what Empaths need is knowledge, self authority and power. We are grown ups, not kids in need of “huggles”.

  20. 20
    Kris says:

    No worries.
    btw, Kris is a girl.. 🙂
    (but male in many past lives)

    And I believe that all people are born empaths. Some just lose their gift or choose not to believe in it or choose to hide from it.

    *huggles* is my heartfire and has many connotations, not at all “childish” .. *big grin*

    I would also point out that I mentioned gift(s)
    Meaning likely plural. It is many more than one gift for some but not all.

    Either way, thank you. I’m only trying to help. We truly are all on this journey together and we are meant to BE together, not separating into factions.

    I appreciate the moment of fame upon your blog, I will disappear now, but know that you and yours and everyone is always welcome. The group is open, you do not need to be a member to read it.

    Goddess bless,
    Kris

  21. 21

    So many interesting points of view, KRIS.

    Thank you for educating us about your gender, your belief that everyone is an empath, and your trying to help.

    Also interesting, your coming onto the blog of an empath teacher’s community, making a first comment that invites people to your community, and then adding a second comment where you intend, evidently, to leave us forever. I’m not sure what this behavior has to do with your idea that “we are meant to BE together.”

    Nor am I totally clear on why you felt the need to bless us, but it does seem evident that you have meant nothing but the best. Sweet!

  22. 22
    Nancy says:

    Rose,
    I felt like your response to “Kris” was very immature and very “um-empathic”. She was just trying to help and you made fun of her and attacked her in a way that would make me question, very much, buying any material from someone who would treat a stranger in that regard. Thank you for showing me your true colors. Namaste
    Nancy

  23. 23
    David says:

    Personally, I’ve found it refreshing to find someone who tells it as they see it rather than being being “nicey” about everything. A lot of the spiritual and new age communities are artificially positive, repress their feelings, and are full of the over-sensitive. That to me indicates poor skills and ungroundedness.

    I’ve found that discovering a community is useful in the sense of recognizing you’re not alone or unique. But then you need skills. That’s what a lot of communities lack. They just share their struggles and beliefs.

    That said, community can be potent and there is a growing call for coming together as consciousness rises. To quote part of the closing of the Rk Veda “Go together, speak together, know your minds to be functioning together from a common source…” But such communities are not found online.

  24. 24
    Amy says:

    Nancy I don’t think Rose was being immature. She is being very candid about the likely efficacy of a support group on a subject she has years of experience on. Kris in her second comment also alluded to notion of empaths that are very different from Rose’s viewpoint (and from objective reality I think, as even from my psychology studies I would disagree that all people are born empaths!).

    I actually found your comment hilarious because it sent such a double message. Obviously you were upset with Rose’s message yet you still ended your comment with Namaste! Yet I don’t think Rose’s message or tone is out of place. As someone with extensive experience helping empaths to become skilled and to take full ownership of their spiritual self-authority, no doubt she has seen the many ways people can get pleasantly sidetracked, some for many years. And as an advocate of being a smart consumer Rose would never let a comment which suggested a very inefficient way of dealing with being an empath go live to the blog without this important caveat.

  25. 25
    Amanda says:

    David, that first paragraph would have made me throw my hat in the air, were I wearing one.

    Hear, hear!

    Kris appears very sweet indeed. There are so many sweet hearts in the world. I like a bit of grounded, practical, discerning strength added to the mix.

    Amanda

  26. 26
    Nancy says:

    There is a huge difference between “telling it how it is” and being downright mean and disrespectful. If she didn’t want Kris promoting that support group on this page, she could have politely asked her not to.

  27. 27

    Nancy, I invite you to address the substance of Rose’s critique. I think that might be a more productive approach than merely calling it “mean” and “immature”.

    Is Rose’s critique substantially incorrect? If so, why?

  28. 28
    Elaine says:

    I’ve noticed Rose lets comments on here that sometimes seem at odds with her blog and life work, re: energetic literacy.

    In reading such posts and Rose’s response, I personally see them as educational opportunities. She points out the nuances in a post that I might otherwise have missed.

    I did look at the facebook page, and it’s quite different from what is going on here. While its intention may be to offer a place where people can share what it means to them to be an empath, I am more interested in gaining the skills necessary to improve my life. In proactively working with Rose, I am realizing these goals.

    Rose needs no defense, but she doesn’t pussy foot around either when presenting her stance on anything.

  29. 29
    Nancy says:

    Rose’s “critique” is neither correct, nor incorrect; as it is merely her opinion, as was my response to it.

  30. 30
  31. 31
    Elaine says:

    Nancy, we are always entitled to our opinions, wherever they fall. I disagree with your opinion that Rose’s response was “merely” an opinion. I feel assured there is more backing up her post than a simple “opinion”.

  32. 32

    Nancy, not everything is opinion.

    Some ideas are correct, and some ideas are not correct.

    For instance, Rose asserts that only around 1 in 20 people are born as empaths.

    Kris asserts that everyone is born an empath.

    These are not compatible ideas. They can’t both be correct.

    Rose’s assertion is based on decades of experience researching empaths, working with empaths, healing empaths, teaching empaths, creating a proven, effective skill set for empaths.

    Is Kris’s assertion coming from a similar place of experience and professional expertise?

    Also, I think it’s interesting that you put quotation marks around “critique”… are you implying what Rose wrote was not, in fact, a critique? Because critique is certainly not incompatible with opinion.

  33. 33
    David says:

    I wonder here if what Rose means by “empath” is not quite the same as what Kris means. When people disagree on such subjects, I’ve found its common for there to be differences in definition.

    For example, everyone has subtle sensing ability but it varies what subtle senses they have easier access to. One skill set is that of the empath. Clairvoyance is another. By this approach, not everyone is an empath but everyone has some ability. If we call subtle sensing a type of empathic skill, then what Kris says is true. Personally though, I think Rose’s approach is more precise.

    On the other hand, someone who talks about being an empath will tend to attract empaths and thus tend to assume everyone must be to some degree. This is a very common error, much like some will assume if they can see aura colours, everyone will see them like that.

    And finally, a comment on truth. Truth is relative to our stage of conscious development. And not just subjective truth but objective as well. For many people, the world is solid and real and the subjective not so much. But for some, the reverse is true. For some, angels are an imaginal fiction. For others, as real as any human.

    Thus, when 2 teachings are compared, its useful to understand their definitions and from where they’re speaking (or to what audience). Otherwise, you’re not comparing apples to apples.

  34. 34
    Vicky says:

    This post seems to have taken on a new route, and not to discard the more recent comments, but if I may bring it back to the original query and thank all those who have taken the time to comment. Rose certainly has much support and I’m sure I’ll revisit when the time is right for me. Unfortunately it is truly few and far between at the moment, this is the first time I’ve been able to revisit the page in 2 weeks.

    Hannah – your response was fascinating too. I was very specific in my original question about what I was looking for. Rose understood this and answered accordingly, at once answering and challenging my original requirements, with respect, as is her job, to which I responded with my reasons. With respect, you entirely missed off my initial question as step 1 and incorrectly spelt my name.

    Amy – thanks for your kind reply and sharing your experience.

    Likewise, Kylie, I really connected with the phrase “walking around in a fog”. I am interested in others’ experiences of what they’ve done and how they’ve felt, rather than any judgement on me and my choices, so thanks for sharing too.

    Jill and Amanda – same, thanks for the supportive comments, and for your recommendations along with Amanda.

    Finally to Rose, thank you for acknowledging what I did and didn’t ask, and for recognising it is wise to use my self-authority to decide what I wish to do, and when.

    Finally, just so people know I’ll not reply further, I’m going to sign off at this point. I’ll of course keep an eye on your blog Rose and hope to read the books and be in touch when time and budget allow.

    Best wished,
    Vicky

  35. 35
    Caeny says:

    As a brand newby (literally only heard the word Empath 5 weeks ago) and someone in the midst of an extreme low (bi-polar – which is now making much more sense to me) I decided to put into Google “help for the new Empath/Empath mentor) and this was one of the first pages I came upon and began to read. I felt I had to comment that for someone as brand new as me who is struggling on where to start and who to trust information from, I found this whole conversation draining and upsetting (nope, not even learned how to protect myself yet). I’m not quite sure why I felt so compelled to write but I’m trying to teach myself to go with my intuition instead of questioning it xx

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