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Taboo Topic

Taboo Topic

Taboo Topic. In New Age it’s taboo. Pop psychology, too. Let’s dare to discuss.

Taboo Topic? Yep. One came onto the blog today, almost by accident.

You know one thing I like about Energetic Literacy, Blog-Buddies? We can resist a cop-out statement that is very popular today:

“Nobody can make you feel bad.”

Sez who? Technically, in some ways, that idea must be reckoned as true. Now I’m all for taking personal responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, that way.

Taboo Topic. Consider….

Based on much experience, personal and healer-wise, other people can definitely make another person feel bad.

It’s splitting hairs to utter that loathsome piece of verbiage that I’ll bet you have heard plenty, that psychologically-correct or metaphysically-superior pseudo-apology. (I surely have.)

“Oh, you want me to apologize? Okay. (Grudgingly, sneeringly.)

“Okay, I’m sorry if you feel like I disrespected you/was rude to you/etc. etc.”

What a fake, false, sorry excuse for an apology! Nothing pathetic like that is accepted around here, at “Deeper Perception Made Practical.

How this Taboo Topic Thread Began

It happened at our most popular post, the Enlightenment Life List.

DAVID commented on the newest edition to that list of people who have crossed the threshold into Enlightenment, Ray Dalio. In DAVID’s Comment at that post, Comment #1234

At that numerical sequence worth celebrating, come to think of it, DAVID wrote:

“[Dalio is] evidently helping fund a large group of people meditating together every day. He’s clearly very wealthy and quite unique. He expects radical honesty of his staff and leads the company from a set of principles. Some see his approach as cult-like but he gets billion-dollar results. Both picture links talk about aspects of his style.

“He’d also be challenging to be around if you have a lot of stuff. That kind of presence tends to cause others to purify. If they’re unfamiliar with the experience, it could be discombobulating.

Wow, how great was that? I sprang into action with the following comment:

One part of your previous comment is so lovely and significant, I want to give it a shout-out in bold:

“That kind of presence tends to cause others to purify.”

Do you Blog-Buddies understand how this sort of thing happens? If not, ask. This is one useful concept on one’s personal path to Enlightenment.

Taboo Topic? So What!

Well, you’all did ask. I am going to move the following sequence of comments to THIS post. Making an easy way for you to read them, and a fine location to add your thoughts and experiences of fake apologies, examples of how someone who was supposedly “good” or “a healer” caused you to feel bad, etc.

I would love to do a blog post about this. It will have to wait though, because I am finally completing today another blog post of pretty compelling interest. To me, and I hope also to you.

Meanwhile, here’s a hint:

Many different experiences can happen due to astral-level causes, from auric modeling to triggering of frozen blocks to cords of attachment to other processes, any one of which could cause a person to feel bad. Others of which might be related to human-level experiences, for which a fake apology is not adequate, but maybe the hurtee’s human-type skills might be a remedy.

So let’s talk about a very big deal in the lives of spiritual seekers, whether you have been pursuing a psychological path of personal development, energy healing with a mind-body-spirit healer, seeking spiritual awakening,  or in any other way moving forward on your personal path to Enlightenment.

Your turn. Go!

 

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  1. 1

    For the photo of another fabulous Shussshhhhhh moment, go to http://www.secretseductionfiles.com/ .

  2. 2

    The following comments are moved from the Enlightenment Life List, as noted in the body of the main post.

  3. 3
    Jean says:

    Hello all,

    Leaping in here.

    To quote Rose -and David – from comment #1235 below –

    “That kind of presence tends to cause others to purify.”

    Do you Blog-Buddies understand how this sort of thing happens? If not, ask. This is one useful concept on one’s personal path to Enlightenment.”

    I understand some aspects of this concept – would like to learn more about it.

    Hey thanks David…..and of course thanks to Rose.

  4. 4
    Somebody Else says:

    “That kind of presence tends to cause others to purify.”

    Do you Blog-Buddies understand how this sort of thing happens? If not, ask. This is one useful concept on one’s personal path to Enlightenment.”

    I’m asking, too. Thank you.

  5. 5
    Debi S says:

    I too was fascinated by this quote from Rose and David regarding enlightened Ray Dalio.

    “That kind of presence tends to cause others to purify.”

    Is this different from a person on a spiritual path unconsciously reacting with anger or cruelty? I’ve folks show this reaction at least 2X from ‘spiritual people’ (I don’t think they were enlightened). And I think I am on my path to enlightenment, but not quite there. <3

    One was a gifted holistic MD who had been referred to me and helped many folks heal. His words were 'ok' and basically helpful, but his whole body/attitude was dismissive and hostile. I thought I was imagining it and brought my husband for his own consultation and observed a whole different doctor. My husband observed the docs interaction with me and agreed that it was indeed weird. The doc seemed unaware he was reacting this way to me. I figured he had a past life thing with me or I triggered something he was not happy about.

    The other time I went to a head of an energy school for a 'soul reading'. I did not know him, but had heard about him. He proceeded to tell me how my energy was too unwelcome and my 3rd Chakra was invasive to people. It sounded like he thought I extended tendrils out to others to gain knowledge against their will. He didn't really offer me anything positive. He was totally disgusted with me and I was SHOCKED and cried all the way home! I did not understand. I went home and read from Carolyn Myss's book about energy types and was comforted to know that both Ghandi and Mother Theresa likely had that same energy and were able to transform it and use it for good.

  6. 6
    David says:

    What I’m referring to is typically called Darshan which can have a purifying effect, depending on resonance. Debi is referring to energetic reactivity. We’ve all had experiences of that, but yeah, it can be rougher coming from a so-called energy professional.

    Before we get into a side discussion on this – do you plan an article on the subject Rose?

    What I’m referring to is typically called Darshan which can have a purifying effect, depending on resonance. Debi is referring to energetic reactivity. We’ve all had experiences of that, but yeah, it can be rougher coming from a so-called energy professional.

    Before we get into a side discussion on this – do you plan an article on the subject Rose?

  7. 7

    A side discussion, DAVID?

    Oh, you are so onto this teacher. I am already spiritually salivating over the blog post to follow.

    I consider this topic a terrific, important topic. A natural subject for discussion as an Enlightenment Coach, plus also so interesting to all who have been developing skills of Energetic Literacy.

    Later today I will open up a preliminary blog post to start moving this little thread.

    Meanwhile, big thanks to you, DEBI S., “SOMEBODY ELSE” (Who is not just “somebody else” to me since, as blog monitor, I happen to know who this brainy Blog-Buddy is), and JEAN, whom I could gush about for days, right at this blog, but won’t.

  8. 8
    David says:

    😉 Thanks Rose. I can think of lots to say on darshan but I’m looking forward to your take.

    And you’d be much more informed about Debi’s comment.

  9. 9
    David says:

    Well – I’m not surprised you brought this out quite differently than i expected, Rose. 😉
    And a much bigger topic…

    Back to my original comment:
    “That kind of presence tends to cause others to purify.”

    What I mean by this is that someone with a strong presence (of source, divine) and/or a lot of purity (sattva) can cause those around them to start purifying or releasing crud/Stuff. This is much like we might purify energetically by sitting to meditate, only this person is radiating presence in activity. It’s called darshan in Sanskrit.

    There are some beings who have strong auras (aspects I can perceive) that go outside the building, so you are inherently within their energy. People with any degree of sensitivity will feel it. But due to the above, it might make you uncomfortable. Or you might find yourself blissful or peaceful or resonating in some other way. Or all of the above. It might seem to have no cause or be coming from within as it’s non-local even though it has an apparent focal point.

    Then there are more typical awake people who radiate peace and bliss less “loudly”. I’ve found different people resonate more or less with specific others. I suspect with more energetic literacy, I’ll have a better idea why. But these people will find, and those around them also, that some people will resonate and be affected more than others.

    For example, it’s not unusual for one’s spouse to awaken, just being around them. This is not a journey we’re on solo.

    In my own case, I find that some people awake (but perhaps not enlightened) are obviously so, and others not. This may partly be due to “Stuff” remaining but there is also a resonance aspect. With the resonant, it can be like being in a deep meditation just to be around them. But not everyone awake has the same response to them. So there are unique resonances. I suspect this is related to chakras but we’ll see.

    Similarly, most people around me treat me like anyone else. But the occasional person is strongly effected positively or really notices. Some have experiences around me, like subtle perception or witnessing, and some start purifying. Occasionally, they become highly reactive. They may or may not recognize the source.

    Of course, this is not “me” they’re responding to, just the presence that is here resonating with theirs.

    This also speaks to the profound transition we’re in as a larger community. In the last decade, many thousands of people have awoken and are effecting those around them. As their shift deepens, the effect increases. I’ve seen 20 awake together having a stronger effect than 2,000 meditating together.

    I’m curious if others here on the List have had similar or other odd interactions. I know it can enhance supporting others or healing work.

  10. 10

    Oh, that DAVID! You’re a deep one.

    Rest assured, I will be exploring — from a different angle — many of the aura-related, consciousness-pertinent points you have raised.

    Just because I dare. I won’t stop to consider that you have a far more sophisticated grasp of consciousness-related information. I’m just practical, differently focused. That’s how it is.

    Our styles and knowledge bases really complement each others’ don’t they?

    Of course, I think that is the case with every one of you Blog-Buddies who posts regularly.

    It’s amazing how much is added by each person’s distinctive language and self-authority. 🙂

  11. 11
    David says:

    Oh yes, Rose, you’re far more applied science to my abstract foundations. That’s why I’m here. I look forward to your take.

  12. 12
    Primmie says:

    Thanks so much for these comments, they are wonderful and enlightening. I love the idea that partners can wake each other up. I look forward to reading the coming post.

    I am personally a fan of the so-called fake apology. I find it very helpful when I’m in a situation where people are triggered by something I say. So I’m sorry their feelings have been hurt, but I don’t feel responsible for the hurt. Equally when I’m on the receiving end of that kind of apology I appreciate that the person is acknowledging my hurt. Mind you, I wouldn’t like it if someone was apologising like that while sneering.

  13. 13
    Suz says:

    “Okay, I’m sorry *if you feel like* I disrespected you/was rude to you/etc. etc.”

    Some of my friends call that a “fauxpology.” 🙂

  14. 14
    David says:

    Primmie – you sound like a Canadian. We like to apologize for everything.
    😉

  15. 15
    Primmie says:

    That’s funny David, usually defenders of that kind of apology are accused of not saying sorry enough.

    Do you ever apologise if you awaken someone and they don’t appreciate it? I remember in a recent thread you mentioned a speaker who didn’t like it when you pointing out a contradiction in what she said. I think you surmised that she must have had a some stuff to have responded that way.

  16. 16

    DAVID, SUZ, PRIMMIE, all your comments are so appreciated.

    SUZ,I just might start using that word “Fauxpology.”

    PRIMMIE, as one of our very long-standing, active Blog-Buddies, I’ll bet you remember our having cycled through this topic before.

    Back in the day, when you were in therapy, of course, this sort of apology was important. It was part of therapy. The whole group would be together for healing, and participants were easily triggered.

    With everyone but the therapist there for healing, of course the language had to be carefully neutral.

    Whereas outside therapy the rules are surely different. People are accountable for their behavior. Feelings matter, but what people say and do is the realm of manners and holding a job and other actions for which they are accountable.

    In this more usual worldly context, apologies are sometimes needed, real ones.

    The tricky part, to me, is that rules for a psychotherapy session are not the same as hanging out with friends or family members. And thereby hang some tales, don’t you agree?

  17. 17

    PRIMMIE, as one of our very longstanding, active Blog-Buddies, I’ll bet you remember our having cycled through this topic before. It’s fun to revisit this, because you and I and the rest of this community keep on a’growing.

    Back in the day, when you were in therapy, of course, the sort of apology that you fondly remember was important. It was part of therapy. The whole group would be together for healing, and participants were easily triggered.

    With everyone but the therapist there for healing, of course the language had to be carefully neutral.

    Whereas outside therapy the rules are surely different. People are accountable for their behavior. Feelings matter, but what people say and do is the realm of manners. Apologizing is part of manners. Socially it can sometimes be important to acknowledge verbally when one has said or done something offensive.

    Also we are accountable for our behavior when holding a job and taking other actions. Mistakes happen, regardless of how we feel subjectively. If you mean to comb your precious child’s hair gently but yank it hard, don’t you apologize? Objective reality, rather than subjective reality!

    Outside of therapy sessions, apologies are sometimes needed, real ones. In objective reality, people make mistakes or break rules. In subjective reality, maybe we never need to apologize. But I think one would have to search far and wide — maybe hire Diogenes, if available? — to find someone who never has needed to apologize.

    (Needed to apologize for the sake of other people, good manners, and acknowledging objective reality.)

    The tricky part, to me, is that social rules for a psychotherapy session are not the same as social rules for hanging out with friends or family members. And thereby hang some tales, don’t you agree?

  18. 18

    On the topic of fauxpologies, or remaining blissfully neutral, here is a link to one of my favorite comment sequences yet at this blog:

    https://www.rose-rosetree.com/blog/2010/11/09/bless-blessings-energetic-literacy-enlightenment/

    The name of the post? “You disgust me.” But blessings to you, of course.

  19. 19
    Primmie says:

    Yes Rose I remember that thread! I was a bit hesitant to comment on this one because I think it was pretty well covered the last time.

    I don’t want to get a reputation as an infrequent apologiser by the way. Or a too frequent one according to David 🙂 I agree with you about saying sorry and taking responsibility for hurting other peoples’ feelings of course, and I think sneering when you offer any kind of apology renders it null and void.

    So you know about snags in hair eh? With two curly haired poppets I find myself saying sorry most mornings.

  20. 20

    Ooh, PRIMMIE, I knew about the twins. They already sounded adorable.

    And now I find out they have curly hair?

    The heart melts.

    BTW, I’d say both of our hearts have been melting and mellowing in the years we have known each other.

  21. 21
    David says:

    Recently, I was re-exposed to Non-Violent Communication. (also called Compassionate Comm) Ended up writing an article about it.

    The basic idea is that you make Observations about what has occurred, avoiding judgement and blame, you talk about how this makes you Feel, what Needs would resolve this feeling, and then you make a non-binding Request. Of course, there are layers to it but the basic idea is that if you stay out of blame and talk about resolution, you may be able to avoid conflict. And the need for apology. 😉

  22. 22

    DAVID, here’s a perspective on Non-Violent Communication. I know about this technique from clients. In theory, it can sound very appealing. I have had clients who practiced it, and it was definitely very helpful to them. Up to a point.

    Wonderful when any path does that! And I certainly don’t mean to express judgment or blame when I share the following.

    In every case where a client I knew was seriously involved in this path, a problem developed that showed clearly in my client’s chakra databanks. And in everyday life, as well.

    This problem will be obvious if you consider the distinction between objective reality and subjective reality. Anyone want to take a wild guess?

  23. 23

    Take JOE for an example. He is chatting with GLADYS.

    But does he do the human thing, engaging in speech and action, objective reality?

    Does he have a spontaneous human-type conversation, based on his level of consciousness and the gifts of his soul and his auric modeling, with subconscious and astral STUFF having its impact as well (as STUFF continues to do while we still have it, regardless of how hard we try to pretty things up through techniques like Non-Violent Communication)?

    Nooooooooooooooo. Not good enough for hard-working JOE.

  24. 24

    Forget spontaneous (and highly informative, evolutionary) life here at Earth School. Hard-working JOE takes an away moment, maybe way longer, to do precisely what you described, DAVID.

    GLADYS just said, “You stood me up at the movie theater last night, JOE. Don’t do that to me again.”

    Then JOE pauses, being so careful to avoid judgment or blame. After detaching, he resumes the conversation.

    He tells GLADYS how it makes him feel, being accused of standing her up at the theater.

    Next comes his exegesis on how her accusation made him feel.

    Maybe JOE takes some more away time. Then he starts discussing what needs to happen to resolve this feeling.

    Next he proposes a non-binding Official Request.

    And this is supposed to be an improvement?

    Honestly, if you were GLADYS would you find this a helpful response?

  25. 25

    So it seems to me that there could be much to gain by taking a weekend seminar in Non-Violent Communication.

    JOE or GLADYS could deepen their subjective experiences of life.

    They could learn to experiment with how they speak to people, rather than staying stuck in a rut.

    But for an ongoing way of life? I would question that.

  26. 26

    Incidentally, DAVID and other Blog-Buddies, one of the conventions at this blog is NOT to recommend other techniques. I will research founders of techniques — about Enlightenment only — at the Enlightenment Life List:

    https://www.rose-rosetree.com/blog/2010/07/18/enlightenment-life-list-aura-reading-energetic-literacy/

    Or, if you enter our hot, current contest before August 1, I can tell you if a teacher or healer or other public figure is an empath or not, according to my research using techniques of Stage Three Energetic Literacy. That would be our “Empath Contest Where Everyone Can Win,” here:

    https://www.rose-rosetree.com/blog/2013/06/27/aura-reading-contest-empaths-empath-empathic-highly-sensitive-person/

    In a personal session, I can research the impact of any technique on you, either the impact so far or as a proposed choice. Another way I can help you as a New Age Consumer is for you to send me photo links to healers, teachers, potential lovers, etc., and I can do some confidential research for you.

    Just today I was helping an Indian client assess suitors for an arranged marriage. (A form of research I have had the privilege of doing many times, actually.)

    Otherwise, I don’t want my personal website to become a place where we discuss other paths or techniques. It isn’t pretty! Witness this latest exchange.

    Let’s consider today’s discussion of Non-Violent Communication an exception that proves the rule. And it’s fine with me if you, DAVID and other Blog-Buddies, present contrasting points of view. Whether or not you feel a compelling need to probe for your deepest subjective unmet need. 😉

  27. 27
    David says:

    Ah – you always have a unique take, Rose. 😉
    Apologies – I was not meaning to bring up other techniques, just a simple way to resolve conflict. But I know what you mean. In the seminar where i saw it used, they waded right into peoples deepest traumas, potentially amplifying them, making them more real.

    I see it as useful in bringing a new take to conflicted situations but yeah, as an excuse to detach and avoid in day to day relationships, no so useful. Funny how people manage to distort things in self-interest.

    Thanks for another take and apologies to bring it up.
    (and yeah, Canadians usually mean it. 😉

  28. 28
    David says:

    Hi Primmie
    Well – I can’t say I’ve awakened anyone but I often help support people after the fact. One of the reasons Rose intrigued me was I’ve seen energetic literacy used to walk people past their last barriers and awaken. I wouldn’t mind developing that skill.

    But yeah, sometimes people don’t appreciate the support or feedback. Or become reactive because of purification. I’ve occasionally had someone throw it back in my face very publicly. Ah well…

    One of my teachers told of how people often do their biggest “unstressing” (dumping/ purifying) on those they love. 😉

  29. 29
    Valentino says:

    All this attention towards fake apologies and who’s to blame for discomfort; has the danger of missing a potentially important element of ‘victimhood’.

    Playing the victim and other passive strategies are versatile ways to avoid responsibility, project blame, gain moral high ground, limit connection, justify personal views, label others, reinforce separateness, etc.

    But another big issue is that it often reinforces blind spots.

    Within spiritual communities, there is often a pervasive fear of conflict underlying all interpersonal relationships. Anything that feels like aggression leads to knee-jerk reactions of avoidance, numbing, distractions or dissociation. Often by either quashing personal anger or by defending up and attacking something external.

    But conflict can be a great opportunity for deeper understanding. Both to discover hidden aspects of our self, but also to learn to connect with others and understand the external world.

    So instead of focusing just on ‘feeling good instead of bad’, or ‘being right instead of wrong’.

    Maybe adding some attention towards being genuine, authentic, sincere, compassionate, honest, transparent, present, undefended and unguarded; might work better?

  30. 30
    Primmie says:

    Rose, I definitely have mellowed over the years. It makes me very happy that you’ve noticed that and that this blog has been part of that journey for me. Thank you.

    David, it fascinates me how awakening can be an uncomfortable process. I recently had an experience where someone gave me new information about myself, it has thrown me into confusion. I’m not angry that I have this new knowledge and I’m not angry with the person who pointed it out to me, but I feel confused and I’m sure in the past I would have wanted to lash out because of the confusion. Giving up illusions hasn’t always made me immediately pleased to have lost them I think!

  31. 31
    Elaine says:

    Valentino: In addressing the last part of your statement #29, from my view that’s a big part of this blog community; being genuine, authentic, sincere, compassionate, transparent and present.

    However, I prefer not to be undefended and unguarded, as I am able to well defend myself when the need arises.

  32. 32
    Primmie says:

    Valentino wrote “So instead of focusing just on ‘feeling good instead of bad’, or ‘being right instead of wrong’.

    Maybe adding some attention towards being genuine, authentic, sincere, compassionate, honest, transparent, present, undefended and unguarded; might work better?”

    It sounds great Valentino, but it also sounds like something I couldn’t possibly disagree with whilst actually not being entirely sure what you mean.

    I’m sure focusing on being compassionate and honest is fantastic but how does that link with not focusing on feeling good instead of bad?

    Is that one of those “support our troops” kind of comments that sounds good but is actually meaningless or am I doing you a disservice by not understanding you?

  33. 33
    David says:

    Hi Primmie
    I’ve realized in studying a bit of psychology and human development that spiritual growth is just a continuation of the development we experienced in childhood. In our culture, we tend to think of development stopping at adulthood, yet many adults stall out prior to even fully developing as individual persons.

    Recognizing and developing our role as consciousness and cosmic is another layer after that which is also eventually outgrown.

    We might prefer things to stay comfortably the same, and growth and change can be challenging sometimes. But if we put it in the larger context and understand where this is going (more or less), we’re much less likely to resist the process and otherwise not “row, gently down the stream.” 😉

  34. 34
    David says:

    Good points, Valentino

  35. 35
    Valentino says:

    Maybe it’s not so much about ‘feeling better’, but ‘getting better at feeling'(from the heart)?

    Do you want to be happy and peaceful? Or is it more important to win, be right, or inflict punishment?

    The more defended and closed you approach life and others, life has a tendency to mirror back that same energy.
    Or maybe the expectation of conflict and discomfort in your interpersonal relationships, is just life mirroring aspects of your internal state and shadow material, trying to persuade you to address your own issues?

    Do we really know as much as we want to believe we do? How can we be so certain? Why is it so important to know why?

    While questions and confusion can be unsettling, they often offer more insight than having answers we simply like and accept.

    To try to address things at a more practical level:

    There are two major types of Empathy:
    1) Emotional or ‘Affective Empathy’ – the ability to recognize, feel & respond to another’s emotional communication & state.
    2) ‘Cognitive Empathy’ – the ability to take perspectives, to feel and understand where the other is coming from (their mental state).

    Possibly, all this focus about apologies & feeling hurt could be from an over-use and over-reliance of Affective Empathy, addressing short term transient surface emotions (feeling good, right, justified, safe, etc.), but overlooking deeper emotions like connection, understanding, bonding, or relating; which can come from utilizing Cognitive Empathy by making an effort to take perspectives?

    And underlying cognitive empathy often is a recognition and willingness to be wrong or uninformed.

  36. 36
    Primmie says:

    David, I tend to understand things retrospectively. Even when I think I have something nailed, I usually don’t because my opinion often changes Which I’ve come to accept and go with. Perhaps that is my way of accepting the process of continuous growth, time will tell!

    Valentino, I’ll have to respectfully bow out of responding to your post. I find all the questions very confusing and I don’t have enough clarity about what you’re describing.

  37. 37
    Amanda says:

    Hi all,

    On the ubject of NVC, I do think it’s a root of resolution.

    However, it can take me DAYS to really understand what’s going on. At the level of normal conversation I would find it practically impossible to be so very switched on – especially as being in that situation in the first place means that reactive stuff is in there.

    So, here’s to the occasional rude row! Just as well, given that in a few weeks I will officially have two teenagers..

    🙂

    Amanda

  38. 38
    David says:

    Primmie
    For the big stuff, we always sort it out after the fact. Mind is the last to catch up to it. 😉 Only then can we find words.

  39. 39
    David says:

    Hi Valentino – don’t forget Physical Empathy. We could also note what might be called soul empathy. Not sure what Rose calls that.

    I like your opening sentence but you kind of wander around from there. I don’t think reactivity is based on empathy but rather protection. When we’re caught up in our internal dramas, we’re not aware of our own deeper feelings nor of others.

    Empaths can also get caught up in others feelings and loose touch with their own. But thats a different thing.

  40. 40
    David says:

    Amanda
    I was lucky. We cultured a peaceful household where you could talk things out. My oldest was big on doing the right thing. My youngest, much more mischievous but mellow, largely followed his brothers lead. I could count the rows on one hand.

    But then, this didn’t work so well in a later relationship. She self-suppressed as she didn’t feel she had permission to angrily vent. That became a problem over time. We’re all different and a “rude row” can be healthy for some. As long as it clears the air rather than building walls. Although again, some teens will build walls willfully to establish their independence… the joys of parenting…

  41. 41

    As a blog moderator, I’ll admit it. Today, with comments at this post, I’m having one of my trickier times ever at this blog.

    Earlier today came a first-ever comment from VALENTINO. Comment #35, above. I wanted to encourage you, VALENTINO. So I let that comment go live, even though many of you Blog-Buddies know that I work professionally in the system of training empaths. In fact, I founded the field, wrote the first book on it, have the only trademarked system in America for helping empaths.

    Given that work, helping empaths, I have a hard time when folks come to this blog mislabeling empath gifts or advising people about how to handle them, as in your well meant comment, VALENTINO. Or with discussing the consciousness-related field of training empaths — part of the special work of this blog — into an interesting branch of psychological theory.

    Then came the follow-up from DAVID, adding to the conversation with his usual wonderful flair… and with my feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

    DAVID, you’re learning fast about what it means to help empaths develop skills, but you’re still pretty new with all this. To me, “Physical empathy” is in the direction of naming an empath gift in my system, but actually there are two terms for two completely different gifts:

    Physical oneness” and “physical intuition.”

    And there are also plenty more gifts enumerated in my two works in this field. Such as my term “Spiritual empath,” which probably covers your idea you were wondering about, DAVID.

    What am I to do with all this input at my personal blog, dedicated to teaching and nurturing and raising consciousness at the leading edge of New Age?

    I don’t want people to lurk at this blog and come away with what I consider misunderstandings and confusing ideas related to being an empath.

    This would be a nightmare for me, actually.

  42. 42

    Okay, here is how I am resolving this. No more comments at this blog that teach people generalizations about how to have a better life as an empath… unless the comment relates to the system of Empath Empowerment.

    You’all have the whole rest of the Internet for writing such comments. There is so much to observe, to share, to learn. Most comments related to being an empath will still be warmly received, and helpful to this blog community.

    Nothing more here, please, about so-called “Affective Empathy.” Googling on the terms brought up by VALENTINO, there are only 5,740,000 hits.

    http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy-ab&q=affective+empathy+vs+cognitive+empathy&oq=affective+empathy&gs_l=hp.1.1.0l4.628.3132.0.5054.17.11.0.6.6.1.369.1074.10j3-1.11.0….0…1c.1.23.psy-ab..1.16.700.uWqhTSsI2aA&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.49967636,d.dmg&fp=6b7967b6815882fc&biw=1536&bih=699

    Websites and blogs and scholarly research galore… if you work in psychology and want to explore psychological theories and techniques related to empathy.

    Not at this blog, please. Let me continue to do the pioneering work in this field without being reminded, indirectly, how long it takes to bring all aspects of Rosetree Energy Spirituality into this world.

  43. 43
    Primmie says:

    Great points Rose and thanks for the reminder that this is your personal blog.

  44. 44
    David says:

    Ooh – I did it again, waded right in. Apologies again, Rose. Well – at least you liked my opening comment. 😉

    And your feedback did bring out some excellent details. Both times I boo-booed. You’re right – I’m very new here. Just finished reading Aura Reading, my first book, which is why I knew the name of one but not the others.

    Having 2 blogs myself, I know the kind of comments you can get. Because you have experienced students here, the quality of comments is actually much higher than the vast majority of sites. You are to be commended for attracting this quality, especially on an open blog.

    Can’t promise I’ll not flub again, but I am finding the exercise very worthwhile. Thanks for your patience.

    And never forget – knowledge in books, remains in books. Same with the net. 😉

  45. 45

    Thanks, PRIMMIE. I felt a bit vulnerable writing those comments but I am committed here to sharing those parts of my process, including as a blog monitor, when I feel that it adds to the educational value for everyone.

    Maybe also it is part of the historic record of one teacher and healer at this time of such transition.

  46. 46

    DAVID, thank you so much for modeling for us all that a mega-smart man — and a man who is Enlightened, to boot — isn’t too big to apologize.

    The humor and grace are just a gorgeous bonus, personally appreciated and also valued as part of your role as a teacher.

  47. 47
    Primmie says:

    I think it’s a great reminder, especially for me as a repeat offender. I often forgot it was your personal blog, partly a terrible lack of good manners and also from getting so excited about being able to discuss stuff with interesting people. This is your site and should be respected as such.

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