Ex-Atheist. In this Guest Post, PRIMMIE describes how a spiritual awakening knocked her right out of atheism.
Years later, she moved into Enlightenment. As documented by a guest post she wrote three years later. (Just check out the contrast between her photos. Startling and inspiring!)
What about RES? PRIMMIE had a session with me years ago, when I taught RES skills in London. At the College of Psychic Studies. And, by the time of this article, she had been commenting actively at this blog for years. Starting in 2010.
Here follows PRIMMIE’s beautiful guest post about the impact of an experience of spiritual awakening.
Childhood Reluctance to “Study” God As “Someone Important”
My official journey with Atheism began when I was 12.
I was brought up in England, as a Catholic. Mostly that meant that I learned things about God much as I learned things in school about Geography and History.
God was far away. And He was important. Like the Kings and the Wars.
When I was 12 my father told me he didn’t believe in God. From then on, neither did I.
It suited me at 12 to think the way my father thought. He seemed much more God-like than any deity my teachers at school taught me about.
As I grew older I found I could not believe anything that conventional religion suggested. I felt totally disconnected from anything to do with God.
When Some Form of Higher Power Became Required
In my 20’s my addictive behavior became unmanageable so I entered therapy and joined Recovery through a 12-Step Program. For those who don’t know much about Recovery, it is a spiritual program which teaches that addiction is spiritual bankruptcy.
In order to recover from addiction it is believed that people need to embrace the idea of a Higher Power.
I wasn’t a natural at that!
I never could create a God of my own understanding, which is what is suggested in Recovery.
I reasoned that if I could imagine a God into being, that God would simply be fantasy and, therefore, meaningless.
However, I did begin to really trust myself thanks to therapy. I began to trust my unconscious. I became an atheist who prayed and I prayed to the unknown inside of myself.
That worked and I was able to change my addictive behavior. I now realize, in doing that… I was doing all the preparation I needed to discover the Divine. But I had no understanding of that, not while I did it.
Believing in the Power and Wisdom of My Unconscious Mind
That was my thinking for many years, and I was quite happy with that.
In fact I loved being an atheist despite being involved in a spiritual process.
Yes, I positively delighted in it.
Last week sometime between Tuesday and Thursday 4th-6th of March, 2014, I realized I was still and happy.
And that I am, in fact, God.
And that the silence in me is God and I am the silence.
Saying “I am God” sounds extraordinarily odd to a confirmed atheist. But, for me, it is true.
Then I thought about the word “Atheist.”
“Atheist” has sounded so sweet to me.
“Atheist” was tied up with all sorts of important things I have admired, such as rebellion and intellectual rigor.
“Atheist” also meant deep loyalty to my precious father,.
I realized that my experience had changed. Now the word “Atheist” meant nothing to me anymore.
Now, for me, “Atheist” is just a term, an idea.
I now know who I am — just like everyone else — what everything is — God.