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How It Feels When You Naturally Ooze Charm. A Guest Post by SYLVIA

 

One way to deal with charm? An unusual way to pull the wool over other people's eyes.

One way to deal with charm? An unusual way to pull the wool over other people’s eyes.

Once again, our Charm Wiki continues. Recently we were having a conversation over at Aura Reading Emma Stone for Charm. Blog-Buddy made a string of comments that I will quote here. See if they make you as curious as they made me! “So nice to have read this post, Rose. I reminds of so many pressures I have experienced. Like Kylie described, there’s something about having a kind of wow factor that makes people take note.

“I had to smile when I read that Emma Stone can expect cars to stop even crash when she walks down the street. When I figure skate, sometimes there are kids on the ice. Some will stand by the sidelines and stare at me. Other times, young boys skating past will turn their head to look at what I’m doing, which then makes them lose their balance and literally fall at my feet!   “I also remember when I worked at a major university as a researcher. When I walked toward a door or elevator, strangers would rush past me — sometimes even breaking into a run — in the corridor in order to hold open the door for me. “Along with little boys falling at my feet on the ice, these gestures were very strange things to get used to, but over time, I have.”

What is it like to have that degree of charm? Don’t you wonder, too?

I wondered. I wondered in a comment where I requested that SYLVIA consider giving us a blog post about what it is like, living that way. You know, Blog-Buddies, it’s one thing to research people through aura reading and other techniques for energetic literacy. Even doing Skilled Empath Merge, the ultimate in exploring otherness, won’t tell you how a person thinks about being hot-wired for charm. Because no form of deeper perception invades the sanctuary of another person’s mind. Instead, Skilled Empath Merge helps you to experience what it is like to be another person. Okay, experience vividly. But not to have that person’s thought process. Well, SYLVIA graciously took the time to write the following guest post. Enjoy the reference to face reading as well as the references (in my headings) to auric modeling. Those headings and minor edits come from me. No way could I have imagined the experiences that brave SYLVIA shares here.

What is it like to have people bow down before you?

I think I first noticed this kind of attention when I was in graduate school, around the age of 25. I think women can get all sorts of attention, but the kind of attention I mostly get seems to fall in the vein of being a “lady.” There seems to be a lot of deference involved. For instance, I’ve had many gentlemen bow in front of me, or even bend down to kiss my hand in greeting. As to how I feel about all of this, well, I still find it strange.

Possibly the strangest thing… about having auric modeling that oozes charm

I find it odd that it has very little to do with knowing me. In circumstances where someone has rushed to do something for me and then continues to hover nearby, I’m usually confused and a bit uncomfortable because they are still looking in my direction. I think I’d prefer someone hold open the door for me and then go along their merry way. Sometimes, I feel like I have to brace myself to be in public because I don’t particularly like attention if it’s not about me as a person. It just doesn’t feel very substantial.

Ironically enough…

At the same time, I recognize that, on the whole, these are rather positive reactions from people. Of course, I remember when people did not respond this way to me. In fact, when I was growing up, my family was the only non-white family in an otherwise white town. We had moved from another country, so my English language skills were quite poor. And I was frequently taunted at school for being different.

  • First it was verbal taunts.
  • Then it was threats.
  • Then it was girls hitting and kicking me.
  • And then it was groups of boys trying to gang up on me.

Fighting back before the charm awoke

I was enrolled in martial arts classes and was told by my mother that if I didn’t win a fight, I couldn’t return home. So when I was young, I got used to defending myself. For instance, I defended myself when people physically attacked me at school or when I was walking home from school.

I found the experience confusing and hurtful, since my schoolmates’ actions seemed to have little to do with who I was as a person. But then, as now, I got used to the fact that people have their own ideas of who you are.

After charm became a factor in my auric modeling

I’ve known since graduate school — when I started getting this kind of deferential treatment — that others don’t get the same kind of attention. How did I find out? Because I would relay incidents to my friends, who would point that they did not have those kinds of experiences. While a few of them thought this kind of attention sounded wonderful, I never thought of it that way. It sort of makes a public appearance more work than you would like. It’s kind of like having to navigate around in a hoop skirt as opposed to breezy sportswear, and you have to suddenly deal with everyone who is volunteering to be in your entourage. I really had a hard time making sense of it until I was reading Rose’s face reading book and learning about Philtrum Definition. Mine is very defined. That insight from face reading seemed to make the degree of attention I receive fall into better perspective.

How I deal with the charm factor now

I have found one way to go out without garnering that sort of attention. For background, I have to explain that I’ve made most of my own clothes since I was child because I couldn’t abide by my mother’s taste. Being artistic and finicky, sewing was the only way to ensure that if I put on a garment, I would actually like it and not break into tears. Eventually I came to see that when I wore clothes of my own design, that’s when I would most feel like myself. In contrast, if I buy something from a store, I feel like I’m donning a 21st-century stage costume. So if I don’t want to draw attention, I grab something from my small pile of ready-to-wear clothes — not made by me — and presto, it’s like going incognito! Nobody pays attention to me at all, and suddenly I blend into the crowd. I think that my aura changes when I wear factory-made, ready-to-wear clothes because I don’t quite feel like myself then. I don’t like not feeling quite like myself, but I do like having options.

A final irony related to Sylvia’s blog post

Blog-Buddies, I can’t resist sharing this last observation on today’s post. Concerning this way that SYLVIA pulls the wool over people’s eyes, as it were, hiding in plain sight, disguising her charm by wearing her “ready-to -wear clothes.” I can definitely speak to the huge charm of the SYLVIA-made garments. Folks, SYLVIA has been my client, off and on, for years. In one way she has made a particularly vivid impression. Coming here once, in person, for a session, SYLVIA wore one of the most elegant, beautiful sweaters I have seen in my life. When I gasped out my admiration, she modestly mentioned that she designed this gorgeous garment and knitted it herself!!!!! Since that time, I have reminded her on numerous occasions how I admired this elegant sweater. What can I conclude from SYLVIA’s sharing about the clothes she wears NOT to draw attention? That maybe people on the street are so busy looking for slogans on tee shirts and designer labels, they’re not noticing what is utterly exquisite.

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  1. 1
    Elaine says:

    Thank you for sharing Sylvia. I know a male who shares the same type of “charm” situation and will see if I can talk to him about his experiences and similarly create a guest post.

  2. 2
    Elaine says:

    Rose, now I have a question about the latter part of the story. Wearing clothes that Sylvia designs and makes herself, a wonderful talent and apparently fitting her identity — is this what would be considered a work around to avoid the attention?

  3. 3

    ELAINE, how perceptive. That is a great example of a workaround. A person says or does something in human, objective reality in order to cope better.

    A workaround is not analysis.

    A workaround is not an energetic subroutine.

    A workaround is something a person does purposely to make life better.

  4. 4

    However, a workaround does not only apply to human-level problem-solving, either.

    Very often, workarounds are common when a person carries STUFF (like cords of attachment and frozen blocks of stuck energy — due to being ostracized for looking “different” — or due to having frozen blocks around finding it embarrassing being so charming).

  5. 5

    Sometimes the workarounds are effective, other times, not so much.

    For example, in my work with clients I have encountered many clients who fell in love with E.F.T. and became deeply involved in “Tapping communities.”

    It is so appealing to have a simple, cheap method that promises so much. Yet some of my clients found diminishing returns in effectiveness from tapping.

    Consequently they did it more and more. And often they turned to tapping out of habit, feeling relief like, “There I did the method to heal myself.”

    And yet the only result of the technique (which was supposed to move out stuck energy and PATTERNS of stuck energy) was to feel emotional relief at having done “something.”

  6. 6

    Similarly, people can use mind-body-spirit techniques for workarounds in extremely ineffective4 ways because the well-meaning person doesn’t know much yet about what is happening or how to heal effectively or that there are actually 15 types of emotional and astral-level STUFF.

    It is not “All Imported STUFF” from unskilled empath merge.

    Being stuck in life, or actively suffering, is not necessarily the result of “My cord of attachment to my father that (supposedly) keeps coming back.”

  7. 7

    So, ELAINE, workarounds can be efficacious. But not necessarily.

    It’s useful to distinguish between terms like these:

    * Habits
    * Obsolete old habits that aren’t helpful any longer
    * Coping mechanisms that are done with conscious behavior
    * Energetic subroutines that involve subconscious distortions
    * Energetic workarounds that are specifically designed to help a person overcome difficulties caused by STUFF

  8. 8
    Elaine says:

    A short example I witnessed once, a young lady came up the aisle of a store where I was browsing shelves. She was probably the most beautiful person I had ever seen in person. As she walked by me she was talking to a girl with her and in that 3 minutes or so I suddenly noticed all the men (about 6) in the store vicinity of about 4 to 15 feet from her all seemed to gravitate toward her. They all appeared to be fixated on her face as she “seemed” oblivious while talking to her friend. Their eyes were a bit glazed over. I recall thinking wow, that girl must have to deal with that every minute of her life.

  9. 9
    Evgenia says:

    Sylvia,

    I really liked the skirt with a hoop analogy ))) I think it described the feeling very well.

    And connecting this analogy with your sewing skills, is it correct to say that you express yourself with what you wear? Sounds like clothes is your language.

  10. 10
    Kira says:

    Fascinating, Sylvia!

    I never had that level of attention, but I did have a few incidents that made me think very carefully about being fully myself. I used to love jumping over things, and two different people injured themselves trying to copy me. (This is when I was in high school.)

    Between those 2 incidents and a few other things, I wound up believing for a while that people were likely to get injured any time I really let loose and enjoyed myself. The times I didn’t dare do the things I really wanted to often felt like I was on a leash or in a cage or otherwise forcibly restrained.

    I would think wearing clothing that makes you feel not fully yourself would be a much milder but also more pervasive version of that feeling.

  11. 11
    Kylie says:

    Very interesting Syvia. I know that kind of attention would drive me crazy. I love your workaround! On the other hand, it is awesome that when you when you want to influence people and attract attention, it is so easy to do.

  12. 12

    Loving this gorgeous, charming thread! SYLVIA, this is such a fascinating share. Thank you so much.

    Now here comes a challenge! Many of us Blog-Buddies have had the opposite experience of being charming. It could have been a short period of life, or related to being at a school, or having to walk around with visible vulnerability while on crutches, etc.

    Do any of you dare to share?

    Comments and guest posts can help us to shine a light on the illusions and karmas that are part of living here at Earth School.

  13. 13
    Sylvia says:

    Hi Elaine,

    It would be interesting to hear from a male about his experiences with being charming. I’ve known many men with such experiences, and I recall there were a variety of responses.

    I once dated someone who was extremely handsome, and I remember wherever we went, heads would turn and women would slowly inch toward him — even if I was right beside him! It sounds a lot like the experience of the beautiful woman you observed.

  14. 14
    Sylvia says:

    Evgenia,

    I’m glad you liked the hoop skirt analogy!

    I do express myself with the clothes I wear, and personal style mean a lot to me, but it’s probably not the only forum where that is the case. I think of myself as being very aesthetically-oriented, with a particular interest in kind of fluid refinement. For instance, on the ice or in a dance studio, I just wear black stretchy clothes because I figure I’m going to sweat for a few hours. My clothes aren’t particularly noteworthy then, but I am extremely elegant and fluid, and I actively cultivate those qualities.

    Likewise, when I make clothes, I like to work on pieces that convey elegance and I am obsessed with the drape of the fabric. I even used to weave, and I while my friends would make stiff fabrics for table runners or wall hangings, I was playing wools and silks and designing fabrics for clothing with a particular drape in mind.

  15. 15
    Sylvia says:

    Kira,

    What an interesting observation! I think that’s a very good analogy.

    Isn’t it odd being the one restraining oneself? Personally, I’m wondering how that will change as I grow as a person.

  16. 16
    Sylvia says:

    Kylie,

    Thank you for your comment. Getting a lot of attention can definitely be crazy-making. I can tell you that I have never yearned for fame one bit!

  17. 17
    Sylvia says:

    Thanks to everyone for their nice comments here! This amount of public self-disclosure is definitely new for me, but you’ve made it a nice experience.

  18. 18
    Sylvia says:

    Rose,

    It just so happens I’ve had two experiences being on crutches — once before charm showed up in my auric modeling and once after.

    In high school, I got hit by a car while bicycling to the library, so I spent almost my entire sophomore year on crutches. (Can you imagine being an adolescent with braces, glasses, and crutches all at the same time?) I don’t remember being treated very differently one way or another on account of my injuries — I didn’t get extra time to get to classes or anything like that — but I do remember that once I got rid of my crutches, classmates didn’t recognize me. I actually overheard someone say, “That looks like Sylvia, but that can’t be her because there are no crutches.”

    Then in graduate school, I tore a ligament and had to use crutches for three months. People were super-helpful and I felt I could hold court if I wanted to, crutches or not.

  19. 19
    David.. says:

    Well – I had crutches one summer when I was in camp. Cut foot got infected. The crutches were to big for me but I discovered i could make giant strides with them. Mostly ignored as I was excluded from a bunch of activities, like water sports.

  20. 20
    David.. says:

    What came to mind reading this though was my young workaround to try to be invisible as an unsuitable adaptation to semi-conscious empathic gifts.

    Of course, there was also the competing desire for attention. And the fear of actually getting any. (laughs)

  21. 21
    Kira says:

    Sylvia, glad you liked my analogy. And yes, it’s odd.

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