Once again, our Charm Wiki continues. Recently we were having a conversation over at Aura Reading Emma Stone for Charm. Blog-Buddy made a string of comments that I will quote here. See if they make you as curious as they made me! “So nice to have read this post, Rose. I reminds of so many pressures I have experienced. Like Kylie described, theres something about having a kind of wow factor that makes people take note.
I think I first noticed this kind of attention when I was in graduate school, around the age of 25. I think women can get all sorts of attention, but the kind of attention I mostly get seems to fall in the vein of being a “lady.” There seems to be a lot of deference involved. For instance, I’ve had many gentlemen bow in front of me, or even bend down to kiss my hand in greeting. As to how I feel about all of this, well, I still find it strange.
Possibly the strangest thing… about having auric modeling that oozes charm
I find it odd that it has very little to do with knowing me. In circumstances where someone has rushed to do something for me and then continues to hover nearby, I’m usually confused and a bit uncomfortable because they are still looking in my direction. I think I’d prefer someone hold open the door for me and then go along their merry way. Sometimes, I feel like I have to brace myself to be in public because I don’t particularly like attention if it’s not about me as a person. It just doesn’t feel very substantial.
At the same time, I recognize that, on the whole, these are rather positive reactions from people. Of course, I remember when people did not respond this way to me. In fact, when I was growing up, my family was the only non-white family in an otherwise white town. We had moved from another country, so my English language skills were quite poor. And I was frequently taunted at school for being different.
- First it was verbal taunts.
- Then it was threats.
- Then it was girls hitting and kicking me.
- And then it was groups of boys trying to gang up on me.
Fighting back before the charm awoke
I was enrolled in martial arts classes and was told by my mother that if I didn’t win a fight, I couldn’t return home. So when I was young, I got used to defending myself. For instance, I defended myself when people physically attacked me at school or when I was walking home from school.
I found the experience confusing and hurtful, since my schoolmates’ actions seemed to have little to do with who I was as a person. But then, as now, I got used to the fact that people have their own ideas of who you are.
After charm became a factor in my auric modeling
I’ve known since graduate school — when I started getting this kind of deferential treatment — that others don’t get the same kind of attention. How did I find out? Because I would relay incidents to my friends, who would point that they did not have those kinds of experiences. While a few of them thought this kind of attention sounded wonderful, I never thought of it that way. It sort of makes a public appearance more work than you would like. It’s kind of like having to navigate around in a hoop skirt as opposed to breezy sportswear, and you have to suddenly deal with everyone who is volunteering to be in your entourage. I really had a hard time making sense of it until I was reading Rose’s face reading book and learning about Philtrum Definition. Mine is very defined. That insight from face reading seemed to make the degree of attention I receive fall into better perspective.
How I deal with the charm factor now
I have found one way to go out without garnering that sort of attention. For background, I have to explain that I’ve made most of my own clothes since I was child because I couldn’t abide by my mother’s taste. Being artistic and finicky, sewing was the only way to ensure that if I put on a garment, I would actually like it and not break into tears. Eventually I came to see that when I wore clothes of my own design, that’s when I would most feel like myself. In contrast, if I buy something from a store, I feel like I’m donning a 21st-century stage costume. So if I don’t want to draw attention, I grab something from my small pile of ready-to-wear clothes — not made by me — and presto, it’s like going incognito! Nobody pays attention to me at all, and suddenly I blend into the crowd. I think that my aura changes when I wear factory-made, ready-to-wear clothes because I don’t quite feel like myself then. I don’t like not feeling quite like myself, but I do like having options.
A final irony related to Sylvia’s blog post
Blog-Buddies, I can’t resist sharing this last observation on today’s post. Concerning this way that SYLVIA pulls the wool over people’s eyes, as it were, hiding in plain sight, disguising her charm by wearing her “ready-to -wear clothes.” I can definitely speak to the huge charm of the SYLVIA-made garments. Folks, SYLVIA has been my client, off and on, for years. In one way she has made a particularly vivid impression. Coming here once, in person, for a session, SYLVIA wore one of the most elegant, beautiful sweaters I have seen in my life. When I gasped out my admiration, she modestly mentioned that she designed this gorgeous garment and knitted it herself!!!!! Since that time, I have reminded her on numerous occasions how I admired this elegant sweater. What can I conclude from SYLVIA’s sharing about the clothes she wears NOT to draw attention? That maybe people on the street are so busy looking for slogans on tee shirts and designer labels, they’re not noticing what is utterly exquisite.