Deeper Perception Made Practical

Stop Giving Yourself a Hard Time

Being a good person? Complicated.

Being a good person? Complicated.

“To err is human,” they say. “To forgive is divine,” they say. Hey, you know what’s really human? To doubt yourself.

Some of the sweetest people around give themselves the hardest, harshest time. If you know what I’m referring to, today’s article is dedicated to you. Accordingly, I’ll refer to you as Caring Reader. Because you are a person who cares. And, yes, you really do care enough.

  • You might care about being kind to others.
  • You might care about creating quality relationships where you are treated well.
  • You might fear developing a big and disgusting, honking-loud ego.
  • You might care about political action and social justice.
  • You might care about the environment: Thinking globally, acting locally, and altogether leaving this earth a better place than it seems to be right now.
  • You might care about moving forward on your personal path to Enlightenment.

That last kind of caring is particularly common for many of us who live now, nearly two years into our planet’s shift into The Age of Energy. For many of us, vibrational shifts in collective consciousness have intensified a natural ease at noticing energy whenever we like. And with that Shift, many of us feel a greater longing than ever before to connect strongly with Spiritual Source.
It’s a good thing, Caring Reader, if new passion burns within you to make this life of yours really count. YOLO! You only live once. (Even if you believe in reincarnation, that’s still true. You only live once… as this particular individuality, your current body-mind-spirit package.)

Because of your passion, Caring Reader, any of the above-mentioned ideals could be a big deal for you… and also, inadvertently, become a way to give yourself a very hard time. Well, let’s sort this out. Right now.

How Energetic Literacy Can Help

One way to describe my professional work? I help folks to not give themselves a hard time. Yet I also help them to grow emotionally and spiritually.

Yes, both are possible. Many of my colleagues in related fields of energy healing aim to do the same thing. Some have written articles in this very issue of Pathways! Even more of my healing, helping colleagues have advertised here. Although we use different methods, we tend to be people who care. Plus what makes us professionals? Skills inform our service to others, which helps our caring to become effective.

Just so you know where I’m coming from, offering the advice to follow, my personal skill set includes energetic literacy: Decades of work with it, many thousands of hours helping caring people, and always learning on the job. With all that, what surprises me still?

Energetic literacy techniques are a pretty good way of determining who is naughty, who is nice, and who might be getting a lump of coal next Christmas (or receive other icky-sticky karma). [Pullout quote, Lou?]

These are the main techniques I teach and use for energetic literacy:

  • Aura Reading Through ALL Your Senses® to read the human energy field, drilling down to a person’s chakra databanks. (Caring Reader, you have hundreds of these. Including a Divine-level, perfect gift of your soul tucked within every single one of your chakra databanks.)
  • Empath Empowerment®, to safely experience someone else’s aura and chakra databanks from inside that other person’s energy field. (This form of energetic literacy can be learned by the 1 in 20 people born as empaths.)
  • Face Reading Secrets® to read faces for character. (Physiognomy can make it so much easier to appreciate your uniqueness, your strengths and progress at overcoming personal challenges —  helping you to actualize full potential as that good person you are.)
  • In short, lots and lots of research, raw data. (From clients who can be feeling, themselves, somewhat raw.)

Caring Reader, however you develop skills of energetic literacy, they can really help you to sort out one of the trickiest dance in life: The Caring Dance.

You know the moves. It’s great to strive and to care, yet not-so-great to be mean to yourself.

Well, what can help you to enjoy The Caring Dance?

The Two Questions

Suppose that it’s early in the morning. You have several good hours of sleep coming to you. Yet there you are, lying in bed and worrying.

And why, pray tell, is all that worrying? You’re replaying some imperfection. Maybe a conversation that didn’t go well. Or you’re sorting through some task left unfinished.

Just what does that pesky worrying signify? (Besides the specifics, that particular awkward situation, the need to solve that particular problem, the blah-blah-blah…)

You might be tormenting yourself, Caring Reader, with some really big underlying questions about being good enough. Like, “Am I living in integrity? Living up to my highest ideals?”

Well, ethics do matter. With energetic literacy, you can research chakra databanks galore about various forms of goodness, including the Throat Chakra Databank for Verbal Integrity, the Solar Plexus Chakra Databank for Verbal Integrity, the Root Chakra Databank for Financial Integrity, and the Third Eye Chakra Databank for Spiritual Integrity.

Patterns show deep within your energy field. And when those patterns include problems, that STUFF can always, always, always be healed.

Healing that subconscious, astral-level STUFF is never accomplished by worrying, though. Permanent healing requires dedicated techniques, your selecting skills that are appropriate and effective. Hardly what you would be doing, lying in bed, giving yourself a grumbly time.

What might you find more useful? The following Two Questions about Integrity. Because these will take you a long way. And, yes, I have found that answers to these questions correlate pretty darned well with what shows up through aura reading, Skilled Empath Merge, and face reading.

Go ahead and ask yourself these two questions, Caring Reader. You can ask them at 3:00 in the morning. Or you can ask them, and answer them, right now.

Integrity Question #1: Course Correction

When I find out that I have done something wrong, do I make amends?

Incidentally, that question means “Do I do a reasonable job of making amends?”

A good person has the grace to apologize.

And that means a real apology, not a saying a smug, thinly disguised insult. Like, “I’m sorry that you were offended when I did XYZ.”

Nope, a real apology would sound more like “I did XYZ to you, didn’t I? At the time, I didn’t realize it. I’m so sorry.”

Being mortal, you have no time machine to back up and fix the past. Not your bad. Besides, humans make mistakes a lot of the time.

Hence that hoary saying about “To err is human.” Life around us is ever-changing. Sometimes no perfect solution exists. All we can do is choose the best smelling of many stinky alternatives.

Well, Caring Reader, from now on you can let that be good enough for you. Don’t blame yourself for living on earth and being mortal.

When you do your reasonable best, your integrity will shine. In terms of reputation. And also at the level of your energy field.

Even the greatest baseball players don’t score perfect batting averages.

Integrity Question #2: Malice as Motivation

The second question to ask yourself, Caring Reader, is this:

How often have I said or done things to hurt people… purposely, just for fun?

Does that sound like a weird question? I hope so.

Helping my clients, I read lots of auras, all the way down to those integrity-type chakra databanks I was telling you about. Did you know? A small percentage of human beings actually enjoy hurting people on purpose. Making them squirm. Squashing their self-esteem as though playing Whack a Mole.

But you, Caring Reader? Probably you can count on one hand the number of times you hurt someone and, at the time, you knew that you were doing so.

What, intentionally causing pain as a motivator?

  • Maybe this has only happened once or twice. Afterwards you felt so bad, you resolved never to go there again. (That’s kind of beautiful actually. You just might be saint material.)
  • Maybe you were stuck in a horrible relationship or job and, after taking way too much abuse, you lashed out in self-defense. (Well, that wouldn’t count as hurting people on purpose, would it? Even murder trials include the possibility of self-defense! Giving back some of the hurt you received is seldom one’s greatest interpersonal achievement, yet it’s hardly ethically rotten.)
  • Maybe you were drunk or stoned. When your inhibitions went down, something ugly came up. (That’s one reason for getting wasted. Not your proudest moment, though, right? Hey, at least you had inhibitions in the first place.)

Bottom line: A good person doesn’t run on hatred. A good person doesn’t purposely hurt others, cut them down, trick them, or laugh at their pain.

So give yourself due credit, Caring Reader. To err is human. To err with malice — now that’s creepy.

False Alarms

In order to answering that Integrity Question #2 fairly, sometimes a little coaching is required.

Possibly, Caring Reader, you have fallen into the habit of taking blame when you really did a perfectly fine XYZ.

Really you did nothing offensive, nothing ethically questionable, not even the least bit iffy. And yet your friend Gladys became terribly, terribly offended. Then she scolded you, demanding that you apologize.

Oops, that last case might be when to issue the fake-style apology like, “I’m sorry that you were offended when I did XYZ.”

Except you can do better than that, Caring Reader. Because most situations in life allow wiggle room for an alternative to doing fake-anything.

For instance, you might go over the facts of what happened, in objective reality. Regarding that big-deal incident with Gladys, who said what? Who did what?

Discuss with her what happened, in reality.

That might help you both. Sure, let the related feelings be discussed afterwards, if you and Gladys are really close. But first establish what happened in reality. Otherwise, Gladys could easily go on a rant that lasts for days.

Life’s too short otherwise. Too short for you to passively listen to all of another person’s confusions and grudges, or other messy problems being projected onto you.

By discussing what actually happened, Caring Reader, you might learn something from that experience here at Earth School. Gladys might learn something. Your relationship might be strengthened… or downsized for the immediate future.

Meanwhile, that social skill of speaking up for yourself is a great alternative to lying awake at night, feeling guilty.

An Automatic Redirect

Imagine what it would be like, Caring Reader, if your day job involved two different applications of energetic literacy:

  • Facilitating aura healing — helping your clients to grow emotionally and spiritually.
  • Doing variations on aura reading — describing what’s happening subconsciously within your client’s energy field. Or, sometimes, reading auras of significant others with whom your client had conflicts.

What a combo! No wonder I have spent thousands of hours in a kind of seminar here at Earth School. A seminar that could be called, “How to Help a Good Person.”

Funny thing. Nearly every first-time client of mine is a good person, self-actualizing. Really, why else would somebody pay for professional services or take the time? (Answer: My client’s significant other… is playing along… after being given a gift session by my sweet, generous client. Waste of money and time!)

Altogether, I have helped many a caring, good person to move forward with personal development. Along the way, I have found that it’s common for such folks to have an emotional blind spot or two.

Really, Caring Reader, might you have one of those? Are you positive that your emotional intelligence is close to perfect by now?

Emotional intelligence allows you to tell when you’re happy. Or sad. Or scared. Or angry.

Probably yours does work great. Except how good are you at identifying when you feel guilty?

Many of us can’t recognize that particular emotion. Which causes a kind of internal redirect, such as might happen when you type one url into your browser, then a redirect happens, and you wind up at a totally different online destination.

With a guilt-related emotional redirect, here’s what might happen on occasion. Somebody near you says or does something. You feel guilty. Yet you don’t recognize that you feel guilty. Instead….

Redirect alert….

You start questioning your goodness. Or your integrity. Or whether you are truly fulfilling the purpose of your life, and so forth.

Please, please, cut that out. That be nasty!

Here’s what can help.

Guilt May Be Life’s Trickiest Emotion

Caring Reader, learn how to recognize when you feel guilty.

It can help to practice by noticing the emotion of guilt in random others.

Go watch a performance of Hamlet or Macbeth or Othello. Even back in Shakespeare’s day, folks suffered from guilt and loved to watch others’ anguished inner bickering.

Or here’s a more post-post-modern way to educate yourself. Park yourself in a Starbucks for a few hours. Snoop around, discretely. Watch couples interact. Sooner or later, you will see one of them get a “Caught stealing out of the cookie jar” look.

Guilty feelings. Oooh!

Guilty as charged, although not accused by any police officer.

Quick flickers of guilt

The next phase of achievement comes when you can easily catch guilt flickering by someone else’s face. When watching TV or movies or streaming anything, let yourself notice when guilt appears.

For the next phase of this useful education in emotional IQ, allow yourself to notice the occasional appearance of guilt in others at work, with friends, with family members.

No, guilt is not life’s most common emotion. What counts is telling when it does happen.

Personal versions of squirmy, wormy

After you learn to spot guilt in others, you can begin to notice your own versions of that squirmy, wormy feeling.

Guilt is not embarrassment, necessarily. Because embarrassment is social.

Guilt is inner, between you and your conscience. Maybe your love of God gets mixed in with the process, too. Uh-oh.

A Workaround to Banish Guilt

Once you have learned to recognize guilt, you’re ready for this Workaround to Banish Guilt.

At any moment, day or night (especially at three in the morning, semi-awake in bed), suppose that you feel a bit of guilt.

Yum, perfectly human guilt! An emotion you have come to name correctly and not call something else.

Recognition isn’t enough. Guilty feelings demand treatment. Otherwise guilt will soon cause an emotional redirect.

So here’s what to do, soon as you recognize guilt surging through you.

1. Ask yourself about what just happened.

  • Did you just say something or do something?
  • Were you, rather, replaying something from the past?
  • Could you have been giving yourself a hard time, banging a wall against your head (as it were) with your noble ideals?

2. Ask yourself The Two Questions.

3. Make amends, if anything is really required. Probably all that’s required is a big, fat nothing.

And otherwise know that you are such a good person. Really, you are.

Moving forward towards Householder Enlightenment is just way more complicated than renouncing the world, going for the stark simplicity of a reunciate’s path.










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  1. 1
    Sylvia says:

    Thanks, Rose! I just loved this post! So many goodies in here.

  2. 2
    Jessica Gates says:

    I love this post, Rose. Thank you.

  3. 3
    David.. says:

    Wonderful post, Rose. Guilt is a squirmy one. Because we try to avoid pain, we learn to avoid seeing it. Turning the tables on that and making it conscious makes it so much easier to heal. And often, see how silly it is. Some people blame themselves for almost everything.

  4. 4
    Emily says:

    I love this post Rose. For the longest time I used to believe that I didn’t “experience” guilt, yet would berate myself for not measuring up to various standards. It’s so interesting how it has been so hard to spot.

  5. 5
    Jean says:

    Yes I agree with all the above comments.

    Guilt is definitely a ‘squirmy’ one.

    Bringing awareness to my own emotions have helped me to let go when I find I am feeling guilty around something that (upon compassionate reflection) is indeed somewhat silly.

    A sense of humor helps as well…

    Thanks for shining light on this pertinent issue Rose!

  6. 6
    Leo says:

    Hi Rose,

    Really great post as usual.

    But I wonder if guilt is sometimes a positive emotion, an inner indicator if you’re doing what you want to be doing.

    I know this isn’t really where you’re going with the post, but I’ve felt guilty recently in certain situations where I think the guilt was somewhat justified. As in, come on Leo, you can do better than that. You have ideals, but you weren’t living up to them.

    Do you think there’s room for guilt in such situations, or are you of the opinion that guilt is mostly misdirected self abuse?

  7. 7

    Thanks so much for your comments here, JESSICA GATES, SYLVIA, EMILY, DAVID, JEAN, and LEO.

    In response to your question, LEO, check out the part of the article with the heading “Integrity Question #1: Course Correction

    When I find out that I have done something wrong, do I make amends?”

    Of course it is important to live up to our ideals — a far cry from doing our best and then worrying about it.

  8. 8
    Kira says:

    The stickiest guilt traps I’ve come across have been in figuring out if I am, in fact, living up to my ideals. Mostly in the “am I too selfish?” department–it’s sometimes hard to tell when a friend’s need for help outweighs my own concerns, but I’ve had to apologize to myself on occasion too for getting too involved.

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