Rose, thank you so much for this post on life purpose! It is very special to me on a personal level because of how much my relationship to this topic has changed since I found your work.
It reminds me of why I was attracted to your blog and your work in the first placeI was desperately seeking a deeper purpose for my life! (hah) And the first time that I heard you offer this perspective on purpose, I was very uncomfortable, to put it gently.
(Internal tantrums, temporary rage quit from reading the blog for a day or so, eventual acceptance that I could disagree wholeheartedly with you on this topic and still enjoy your work )
But I must confess - secretly I love this kind of discomfort.
You made me think, you made me question the beliefs that I held firmly, but I never felt that I had to give them up to benefit from your healing and your wisdom. And I had no intention of changing my mind with respect to finding my purpose.
Fast forward-what, a couple of months? less?-and here I am seeing your perspective on purpose in a whole new light, and I am loving every bit of it.
And the best part is that I never felt you were trying to change my mind-heck, you probably didnt even know about this heated debate going on, entirely internal within me.
But largely as a result of my healing from sessions with you, Rose, as well as some other healing and growing I have done, my thinking has gotten much clearer and less clouded by desperation, and heres how I think about my purpose now:
When I was looking for a purpose before, I was looking for something like Teach math to underprivileged teens, or Help rehabilitate abused ex-racehorses.
Even Live on a big beautiful ranch in Montana would have been more satisfying than Just live your life.
But wait a minute, what if I did come to the conclusion that one or all of these was my purpose?
How many years would I have to spend teaching for it to count? And what if that ranch were actually in Kentucky, is that good enough??
Ok, ok, so maybe a purpose has to be more vague than that. Maybe it is something like, Help someone, somewhere.
If I pick up some trash, am I done? Now I can retire from purposeful living?
And THEN what, exactly?
Or maybe purpose is something you live by, like Help people in general, be nice to animals, speak kind words
Somehow I wasnt able to come up with a sufficiently vague purpose that wasnt too limited, and didnt just sound like general advice on morality.
The problem with a Purpose
Its either something you can never achieve (how depressing!) or something you can achieve (and then what?).
Purpose is anything and everything you do or work towards, right now and forever!!
Which is such a delightfully satisfying answer to me now-the same answer which, a couple of months ago, irked me so deeply that I had trouble sleeping.
The difference was that, before, if I had tried to do something as frivolous and un-purposeful as (for example, to me) developing skills as a pastry chef, I would have been completely unable to enjoy the process.
Because what use were pastry chef skills?? I didnt want to be a pastry chef. Clearly that wasnt my purpose, and even if I became a pastry chef, I would still be mad at my ex-boyfriend/feel insecure around my family/whatever other human problem I was having. (Insert grumbling.)
I couldnt find meaning or joy in ANYTHING because I was too busy with STUFF, so to speak.
Now, on the other side of quite some healing, just the other day, I made eclairs for the first time!
And they came out terrible! No future as a pastry chef for me, haha.
But I wanted to try. And I loved every minute of it because I wasnt fixated on my purpose.
I was able to fully engage with the experience, which was, to me, spiritually fulfilling in its own way. (The custard filling? Heavenly!)
And yeah, of course I still feel angry at my ex-boyfriend or insecure around my family or bored with my job, sometimes. Except now these things are totally irrelevant to the experience of making eclairs. (And why wouldnt they be?)
Now that I have taken the time to address some of what wasnt going well in my life, I am not so worried about what ELSE isnt going well in my life, and I can enjoy something as silly as making an almost inedible batch of eclairs.
And, better yet, because I DONT think that I am meant to be a baker, it didnt crush my spirit that they came out kind of chewy.
And if I want more confidence around my family, or more forgiveness for an ex-partner, or a more interesting day job, or to volunteer with a horse rescue or move to Montana, I can take steps towards achieving those goals, perhaps with the help of a coach or counselor or healer or Google. But not 24/7. Some days you just gotta make eclairs.
On a slightly more serious note, I think if you really did set goals for yourself for this life, before you came to Earth, then achieving those goals is going to be what you are drawn to do, anyway, when you have the health and freedom to figure out what you genuinely enjoy doing.
Why would it be a big secret?
I really do think that Finding ones purpose is the same process as Healing and growing in order to enjoy ones life and experience meaning in it, however you choose to define meaning. And recognizing this could make the process smoother.
Has for me, anyway, so far.
The healing/growth process has rapidly shifted my own personal relationship with purpose.