Blog

Deeper Perception Made Practical

How Deeper Perception Helped Me in 2014, a Guest Post by SARAH

Diving deeper into family life with Aura Healing and Transformation

Diving deeper into family life with Aura Healing and Transformation

SARAH has entered the first full-length entry into our new Contest about Deeper Perception. Prepare to be shocked (maybe). Or maybe not so shocked at all….

What I learned is hard for me to summarize, since it happened somewhere completely separate from my intellect.

I finally let go of my need to love my family. In the process, I actually came to love them in a way I never have before. For the first time in years, I was able to genuinely enjoy a holiday spent with them, free of guilt or disappointment.

With regular perception, a close family

See, my immediate family is very close and loving and always has been… supposedly. We all see each other regularly, everyone makes an effort to keep up on each others’ lives, my parents are still together, etc.

And this sense of family is extremely important to us—all of us. It must be. It’s some sort of implicit requirement for membership. I don’t know how else to explain it.

But there’s always been something weird under the surface, like it’s all a big show. I’ve spent years convincing myself that this is all in my head, since I’ve never met anyone else who gets this vibe from them. My friends just politely say that they don’t really know what I am talking about, so-and-so seems lovely to them.

So as time has gone on, I’ve only felt more and more like an alien.

An “alien” trying so hard to stay connected

But despite the icky feelings, I’ve never allowed myself to put anyone or anything above “family” in my life, especially anything even vaguely religious or spiritual.

Subconsciously, it was as if I was telling myself every day, “What is more important? Family or God? Family, of course.”

Why? Because when I was very little, a relative of mine (we’ll say JOE) abandoned the entire extended family, and we have not heard from him since.

I was told that JOE joined a cult, and was forbidden to be in contact with any of us. I was too little to understand any of this, except that the beautiful, heartfelt Christmas gifts which came from JOE every year just stopped coming, we didn’t talk about him anymore, and the situation was heartbreaking for everyone involved.

Without even realizing it, I subconsciously promised never to let any spiritual pursuit become more important to me than my family.

Accepting the reality of my family

Fast forward to a recent session with Rose, after a few months of intense personal and spiritual development (helped enormously by Rosetree Energy Spirituality!), and a subsequent increased sense of alienation from my immediate family.

I brought the intention to improve my relationship with a particular member of my immediate family, GLADYS, from my side. Rose selected the technique of Vibrational Re-Positioning. This includes having Rose pull out an Energetic Hologram of an incident selected by the client. For that incident, I chose a couple of moments where I could recall thinking, “Geez, does GLADYS just hate me??” but always “knew” that, “Of course not, GLADYS loves you, don’t be ridiculous, you’re just being paranoid.”

Deeper perception sure cut through all of that crap.

Tactfully, but without sugarcoating, Rose informed me that there was indeed a great deal of hatred showing in GLADYS’s aura, in one case near-murderous levels (in a different society, perhaps).

Hearing this was like being punched in the gut with validation. And when Rose asked at one point which was more important to me, family or Enlightenment, I was genuinely shocked to hear myself answer, “Well, Enlightenment, I guess.”

Integrating the subconscious energy healing. And the new (but not new) information

After the session, I spent days sitting, staring, trying to process this new-but-not-new information about GLADYS, and this huge shift in my priorities marked with all the ceremony of, “I guess.”

For the first time in my life, I looked up JOE.

He has a LinkedIn profile, a normal job, and an apparently normal life. It just doesn’t happen to involve us anymore.

My world had been flipped upside down, and I was seeing everything from a different angle. Now, after a certain grieving period for the lost illusions, I’m finding this new world much easier to navigate.

Amazingly, once I had completely let go of the desire to have a real relationship with GLADYS, I was able to genuinely enjoy the time I spent with her this year, murderousness notwithstanding :).

We kept things totally surface-level; we ate homemade eclairs together (:D!)

Whenever I didn’t enjoy the conversation, I changed the subject or walked away. And I didn’t spend any time worrying about whether or not she hated me, let alone chastising myself for it!

Haha. And as weird as it sounds, I have actually developed a newfound respect for GLADYS, since I no longer expect her to be someone she’s not.

Thank you, Rose, for the best Christmas gift that anyone has ever given me.

Share this

Join the Discussion

  1. 1
    Lilian says:

    Interesting. I left my family behind a few years ago. I knew that they didn’t love me and that I had to have the courage to accept this.

    “Now, after a certain grieving period for the lost illusions, I’m finding this new world much easier to navigate.”

    Queue me experiencing depression properly for the first time in my life for a year or so.

    It is interesting that my mother always said that my father would “go to hell” and that he had mental health problems. However, that’s not really the case. I’m glad to be out of that bubble. Life is about more than family. It’s about choice.

  2. 2

    I love this: “I finally let go of my need to love my family. In the process, I actually came to love them in a way I never have before.” Thank you for sharing, Sarah.

  3. 3
    Anita says:

    Sarah,

    I loved your post! I found it so honest and refreshing.

    I actually think your experience is much more common than you think. You just had the courage to talk about it and call a spade a spade.

    I also think this sort of dynamic is not uncommon in workplaces and in other relationships. I can think of co-workers who would be thrilled if a colleague were fired, though of course they would never say that to their colleague’s face because they are so loving and caring. I can also think of people who hate their bosses, however, would say the opposite if asked. Wait, am I describing the television show “The Office”?

  4. 4
    Kylie says:

    Great post Sarah. It’s so crazy-making, isn’t it, when you perceive hatred coming from someone who is acting lovingly towards you. And so interesting that once the cord is cut and your expectations changed, you could enjoy the relationships on a different level.

  5. 5
    Zelda says:

    Great post, Sarah!

    My version of the dynamic you described involves really getting it that I spent those years when I lived in and around my family surrounded by people who basically didn’t like me. Except my mom, though she had plenty of challenges that kept her from expressing it till years later.

  6. 6
    Elaine says:

    Thanks for the interesting post Sarah. Knowledge is certainly freedom.

  7. 7
    Sarah says:

    Thanks, everybody. 🙂 It really feels nice to hear from others who are going through/have gone through something similar.

    Sometimes it’s still hard to shake that nagging voice which wants me to keep playing the head-in-the-sand game!

  8. 8
    Sarah says:

    Crazy-making is a good word for it. 🙂

    And even just writing this post has helped me go further and see this pattern of, “Don’t be silly, of course she doesn’t hate you,” playing out again and again and aga– No, but really.

    I can’t tell you how many people I’ve known over the years who really, really obviously hated me, and how many hours I’ve spent doing everything but just say: “Wow. Lame!” and walk away.

  9. 9
    Sarah says:

    And a more subtle lesson in here, too: When someone close to you says, “I think [my mother/sister/brother/best friend] hates me,” do you say, “Aww, I’m sure they don’t, really!” to be supportive?

    Is that truly a supportive thing to say, or are you saying it because the thought of hatred makes you uncomfortable? Food for thought. I’m still chewing on it.

    Hatred is such a wild, wooly, taboo thing.

  10. 10
    Kylie says:

    Sarah, on this theme I recently had a healing session where I cut the cord of attachment to a baby, the daughter of someone I know. The first time I ever looked at that baby, I felt deep dismay because I could not connect, and the baby seemed to be looking at me like a very disgruntled and jaded emperor looking at a very displeasing subject. That baby was sending some hate my way. I kept trying to connect, because, I love babies! How could this baby hate me already? In hindsight, it’s because, duh! This baby’s lived several lifetimes already. I know now how to respond–“Wow-lame!” and walk away.

  11. 11
    Cathy says:

    Sarah, thanks for sharing this story. This resonates deeply. I’ve known a few people like your Gladys in my time. It’s nice when you realize you were right all along!

  12. 12
    Tehya says:

    Enjoyed this so much, and all the comments too.

Click here to comment ...

Leave Your Comment