SARAH has entered the first full-length entry into our new Contest about Deeper Perception. Prepare to be shocked (maybe). Or maybe not so shocked at all….
What I learned is hard for me to summarize, since it happened somewhere completely separate from my intellect.
I finally let go of my need to love my family. In the process, I actually came to love them in a way I never have before. For the first time in years, I was able to genuinely enjoy a holiday spent with them, free of guilt or disappointment.
With regular perception, a close family
See, my immediate family is very close and loving and always has been supposedly. We all see each other regularly, everyone makes an effort to keep up on each others lives, my parents are still together, etc.
And this sense of family is extremely important to us, all of us. It must be. It’s some sort of implicit requirement for membership. I dont know how else to explain it.
But there’s always been something weird under the surface, like its all a big show. I’ve spent years convincing myself that this is all in my head, since I’ve never met anyone else who gets this vibe from them. My friends just politely say that they dont really know what I am talking about, so-and-so seems lovely to them.
So as time has gone on, I’ve only felt more and more like an alien.
An “alien” trying so hard to stay connected
But despite the icky feelings, I’ve never allowed myself to put anyone or anything above family in my life, especially anything even vaguely religious or spiritual.
Subconsciously, it was as if I was telling myself every day, What is more important? Family or God? Family, of course.
Why? Because when I was very little, a relative of mine (well say JOE) abandoned the entire extended family, and we have not heard from him since.
I was told that JOE joined a cult, and was forbidden to be in contact with any of us. I was too little to understand any of this, except that the beautiful, heartfelt Christmas gifts which came from JOE every year just stopped coming, we didn’t talk about him anymore, and the situation was heartbreaking for everyone involved.
Without even realizing it, I subconsciously promised never to let any spiritual pursuit become more important to me than my family.
Accepting the reality of my family
Fast forward to a recent session with Rose, after a few months of intense personal and spiritual development (helped enormously by Rosetree Energy Spirituality!), and a subsequent increased sense of alienation from my immediate family.
I brought the intention to improve my relationship with a particular member of my immediate family, GLADYS, from my side. Rose selected the technique of Vibrational Re-Positioning®. This includes having Rose pull out an Energetic Hologram of an incident selected by the client. For that incident, I chose a couple of moments where I could recall thinking, ”Geez, does GLADYS just hate me??” but always “knew” that, “Of course not, GLADYS loves you, don’t be ridiculous, you’re just being paranoid.”
Deeper perception sure cut through all of that crap.
Tactfully, but without sugarcoating, Rose informed me that there was indeed a great deal of hatred showing in GLADYSs aura, in one case near-murderous levels (in a different society, perhaps).
Hearing this was like being punched in the gut with validation. And when Rose asked at one point which was more important to me, family or Enlightenment, I was genuinely shocked to hear myself answer, Well, Enlightenment, I guess.
Integrating the subconscious energy healing. And the new (but not new) information
After the session, I spent days sitting, staring, trying to process this new-but-not-new information about GLADYS, and this huge shift in my priorities marked with all the ceremony of, I guess.
For the first time in my life, I looked up JOE.
He has a LinkedIn profile, a normal job, and an apparently normal life. It just doesn’t happen to involve us anymore.
My world had been flipped upside down, and I was seeing everything from a different angle. Now, after a certain grieving period for the lost illusions, I’m finding this new world much easier to navigate.
Amazingly, once I had completely let go of the desire to have a real relationship with GLADYS, I was able to genuinely enjoy the time I spent with her this year, murderousness notwithstanding :).
We kept things totally surface-level; we ate homemade eclairs together (:D!)
Whenever I didn’t enjoy the conversation, I changed the subject or walked away. And I didn’t spend any time worrying about whether or not she hated me, let alone chastising myself for it!
Haha. And as weird as it sounds, I have actually developed a newfound respect for GLADYS, since I no longer expect her to be someone she’s not.
Thank you, Rose, for the best Christmas gift that anyone has ever given me.