Narcissists — have they been a problem for you in the past? Are they a problem for you now? The quiz in today’s blog post can help. And then tomorrow’s post… which will be based on how you do with today’s assignment.
You see, we are close to completing our series on protecting yourself from difficult people, a.k.a. narcissists, draining people, toxic personalities, energy vampires, psychic vampires, or just plain “somebody difficult.”
This series began here. It was designed to include six posts. All from the perspective of Rosetree Energy Spirituality, a perspective that’s counter-culture in New Age; also quite distinct from the sort of help you might gain from psychotherapy.
Boldly moving forward, an experiment would be useful in advance of what I was planning to write on this topic. So let’s go for a series of seven posts, rather than six.
If you do the following experiment it may help you get a lot more out of my next post, which WILL conclude this series. And it WILL be about ways to protect yourself from narcissists — protect yourself energetically and in other ways as well.
Blog-Buddies, are you game for some empowerment?
Here’s the empowering experiment
The steps are simple.
- Think of one person in your life, present or past, who could be considered a narcissist. Otherwise, think of a character from a movie or TV show. Maybe doll-beautiful Lady Mary from “Downton Abbey”? In short, choose your Narcissist Candidate (for the sake of this particular experiment).
- Take a moment to notice how you are feeling right now. Name one or more emotions. Then say out loud how your right hand feels physically right now.
- Go down the list below with characteristics about “What is a narcissist.” Assess the extent to which your Narcissist Candidate fits the picture. Need you go through all 16 characteristics? Nope. Just do 1 or 2, or more. Keep going down the list for as long as it’s interesting to you.
- Repeat Step 2.
- Compare what you found in Step 2 with what you found in Step 4.
- Draw a quick conclusion. Ask yourself, “How much has it helped me, assessing the horrible qualities of my Narcissist Candidate?”
Feel free to comment below with your quick conclusion. For fun, include how far down the list you went before you felt you had had quite enough.
And, of course, add any other comments you like. Naming — or being named — as a narcissist is a highly charged topic.
What is a narcissist?
Qualities like these are said to mark a narcissist, according to David Thomas, author of Narcissism: Behind the Mask.
- An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges
- Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
- A lack of psychological awareness (see insight in psychology and psychiatry, egosyntonic)
- Difficulty with empathy
- Problems distinguishing the self from others (see narcissism and boundaries)
- Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults (see criticism and narcissists, narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury)
- Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt
- Haughty body language
- Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them (narcissistic supply)
- Detesting those who do not admire them (narcissistic abuse)
- Using other people without considering the cost of doing so
- Pretending to be more important than they really are
- Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements
- Claiming to be an “expert” at many things
- Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
- Denial of remorse and gratitude