To join in this thread, may I recommend that you read the previous post: Protect Yourself Energetically from Narcissists, Part 6 of 7
And now, here come words of experience and wisdom from Blog-Buddy ZELDA.
Not crazy about discussing narcissism
Rose, I’m curious to see what the next post on narcissists will be. I admit that this kind of post isn’t my favorite, for a variety of reasons.
It brings to mind the awful experiences I’ve had dealing with the narcissists in my family, not something I relish. I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being related to a few. I’m not in contact with them now — out of a sense of self-preservation.
It was quite challenging for me to deal with these particular people.
In these kinds of conversations about psychological labels and how useful they are, I don’t find it terribly helpful when people go to that place of some version of, “Well, everyone is narcissistic…we’re all like this.”
Yet the label “Narcissist” can be helpful, when warranted
Part of my development was getting reality checks about just how unhealthy and damaging the behavior was that I was subject to growing up.
Sure, it’s not helpful to toss around labels about people’s behavior. At the same time, it’s not helpful, either, to simply dismiss really awful behavior with some version of, “Hey, everyone’s like that!”
I just don’t agree.
I actually don’t agree, either, that narcissists are rare. I’m sure the frequency of running into the behavior is related to the context.
Practical behaviors that have helped me deal with narcissists
I’ve mentioned before that I work with folks who’ve had long careers in broadcasting. And there are plenty who behave like narcissists.
Do I care whether they’ve been psychologically evaluated properly and diagnosed as narcissists? No.
Here is how I have learned to deal with them:
- Is my life better now that I get that the most effective way to deal with narcissists is to understand that every conversation with them is going to be about them? Yes.
- I am intentionally cordial and superficial with narcissists when I must interact with them at work.
- Otherwise, I steer clear.
- I find that I’m better able to cope when dealing with narcissists when I simply focus on the basics of what I need to accomplish on the job and just leave it at that.
- I don’t care about analyzing or labeling narcissists. At the same time, I’m realistic about the terrain of the context. The people who go into the broadcasting field tend to have pretty big egos! Some take it farther than others.
- I don’t care about detailed analysis about narcissism. Instead I pay attention to how I’ve been treated. Then I take it from there.