“Noooooooooooooooooooooo” I wanted to scream into my newspaper this morning.
I was reading the advice column by Carolyn Hax. Usually her columns is one of my favorite parts of The Washington Post. But today? Ouch!
Let’s play advice columnist today, Blog-Buddies. I’ll add my bit and then you can add your responses in the form of comments. Even if Carolyn doesn’t read any of them. (Sure, I will send her a link, but Carolyn Hax must receive about a zillion emails per day.)
Here was the original question from “Name Change”
“I’m in my 40s and heading to graduate school for a completely different career. I’ve always hated my first name — it sounds great for a child but does not transfer very well as a professional name. I’d like to change it as I embark on my new direction but I feel silly being my age and sounding like I’m having an identity crisis. Thoughts?”
Oh yes,, I sure have thoughts (as you’ll soon read). Carolyn Hax’s recommendations are one click away. Let’s just say here, she starts by asking “But do you like it otherwise?”
You know, apart from all the reasons given for having the temerity to change his very own name. Advice Seeker “Name Change” is asked to twirl and contort his mind around all the benefits he might enjoy by not changing a thing.
My perspective, as someone who nurtures personal identity
Name Change had me at “I’ve always hated my first name.”
Isn’t that rather important?
What on earth would outweigh sheer loathing, day after day, since infancy?
Okay, if you were named “Price Charles” and, at age 66 you still are hoping to become king some day… maybe then a gag-inducing monniker would be worthwhile. As in “Gag and bear it.”
What’s so silly, for an adult, about changing one’s name at ANY age?
In our wacky society, it’s okay to celebrate mid-40’s by buying a hot red car.
It’s okay get a divorce. Or to marry. Even to marry someone young enough to be your child or grandchild.
In much of America (thank God) it’s okay, finally, to come out with one’s sexual identity. It’s okay to be transgendered.
Anywhere in the US, it’s okay to run off to the cosmetic surgeon and change face bits around.
It’s just fine, apparently, to facelift one’s self into a kind of living museum, commemorating one’s youthful face from so long ago.
(As someone who Tivos “Big Bang,” I regularly see ads for “Cougar Town,” complete with brief closeups of Courtney Cox. Sure, I loved watching this talented actress years ago in “Family Ties.” Maybe I could enjoy watching her now. Only not when her face is stretched so tight and hard, my mirror neurons ache just to look at her.)
So many things are okay socially in post-postmodern America. But apparently it’s downright shocking if a person considers changing his name?
Hello! I applaud any adult whose personal development is speeding along so rapidly that old somethings don’t work any more. That isn’t necessarily being fickle. These two words may apply here: Virtual reincarnation.
Of course, people can have very earthbound thinking, even Spiritual Shutdown reactions, related to changing one’s name.
- For instance, “You were born with a name. You must live with that name.”
- A common variation goes, “You must live with the name your parents given you… unless you are a woman who marries. Then you become the husband’s property. So you must take that last name.”
- Or “If you are a woman and you really love that husband, of course you will now take that husband’s last name.”
Assumptions worth questioning, right?
“The big hassle”
That is what Carolyn Hax called it, legally changing one’s name: the big hassle.
Please, legally changing your name only a big hassle if you’re a convicted felon or you have major outstanding debts or otherwise you’re on the lam from the law.
Changing your name legally takes way less time and money compared to many other things that are considered okay, or lauded in mainstream society. Such as the flashy red car or the trips to the cosmetic surgeon.
Look, it’s no secret that I believe in Name Alignment, done with Thrill Your Soul Aura Reading Research.
Shakespeare famously wrote, in “Romeo and Juliet”:
“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”
Well, hello. The Bard was talking about a flower. Not a person. If a rose had feelings, it might not like being known as a hippopotamus.
Why is Name Alignment Research so beneficial?
Aura reading at depth — full Stage Three Energetic Literacy — can tell you so much about who you are. With Name Alignment Research, we explore what is the impact of the name you were given at birth.
Then you can use your free will to research names that might suit you better.
And I really mean much, much better.
As a facilitator of personal development, I’ve got to tell you that choosing a name that aligns with your soul — and other chakra databanks — is the single most important thing you can do to evolve big-time.
Here are examples from some Blog-Buddies who changed their names, following Name Alignment Research, and wrote about it here at the blog:
- 10 Ways My Life Changed After Name Alignment. A guest post by GEORGIA.
- How Name Alignment Research helped me, a guest post by Sophie
- Changing My Name after Name Alignment Research, a guest post by KYLIE
- Name Change Research, Kathryns Triumph and Guest Post
Even the Name Alignment PROCESS can help a person to grow spiritually
Doing Name Alignment Research carries no pressure that you must move forward immediately to legally change your name.
There’s no rush about changing your name afterwards. Just finding a great one helps you to evolve.
Sometimes conflicts come up. Worries or big fears.
Well, isn’t healing STUFF part of a person’s path to Enlightenment?
Healing those fears doesn’t obligate JOE or GLADYS or NAME CHANGE to legally change a name.
Some of my clients have waited for years, literally years, before making a name change legal. Some may never do the name changing part.
Life is complicated. And your sacred self-authority matters most about any choice you might, or might not, make with your legal name.
Just, please, let’s not disrespect that cry of a soul like, “I have always hated my name.”
Let’s not turn up the volume of “I feel silly because I wish to change my name” or “Other people may not like it when I take steps to make my life better.”
Changing your name doesn’t impact anyone as much as it is YOUR choice, YOUR free will, YOUR life.
Which is why I recommend that, in most cases, you don’t ask or tell anyone in advance of a name change.
Do the legal change to your name. Then announce. Because you have that right.
Soon as you start asking opinions, others can easily undermine your confidence in a choice that belongs only to you. Of course, that’s just my personal recommendation.
How to deal with anyone in your life who whines that they are so hurt, or otherwise traumatized, because of what you have done with your own personal name?
Here’s an idea. Write to Carolyn Hax for advice.