Fear Narcissists? SKILLED Empaths Don’t. Because we can look past illusions sometimes taught to empaths who seek empowerment.
Here are seven reasons why the system of Empath Empowerment® can help you. And help you far more than horrible illusions that some empath teachers offer as a “way to help empaths.”
A recent conversation really opened my eyes to how much some unskilled empaths have suffered. My Highly, Highly Sensitive fellow empaths, not-yet-skilled… ouch!
This conversation took place on Facebook at the Empath Empowerment® Skills Group. Based on that, I would like to share some ideas related to handling difficult people, whether narcissists or not.
SKILLED Empaths Know This. Do You?
First a few definitions will be necessary, so it’s clear that we mean the same things when using certain terms.
- An empath is someone with a gift for directly experiencing what it is like to be other people. Empaths are not necessarily people who feel other people’s feelings.
- Unskilled empaths suffer because, unless the empath actively gains skills to turn the empath gift(s) OFF, there will be suffering, confusion, and loads of other relationship problems. It can be hard to use common sense about whether a relationship is helpful for you or not.
- Energetically, the kind of problem empaths get is called “Imported STUFF.” This field of Energy Spirituality names many other kinds of STUFF, not just what causes empaths to suffer.
- Imported STUFF complicates ALL of an empath’s relationships, whether we know about this subconscious-level problem or not, also whether we consciously know that we are empaths or not.
This entertaining book can bring you “Empath Empowerment in 30 Days.” It has helped others. Why not you?
Fear Narcissists? Compassion Is Appropriate Here
Compassion needs to be part of the conversation because suffering hurts. Whatever the cause of that distress, whichever personalities are involved, sometimes relationships are really, really hard here at Earth School.
I especially appreciate a related comment from CATHY at the Empath Empowerment Skills Group:
“I think the widespread thinking that most empath difficulties are caused by narcissists or toxic people is simply because they have no better explanation, and are dealing with it the best they can.”
That said, here are some ways to live juicy, not frightened, in a world where some people act just plain nasty.
Empaths, Don’t Fear Narcissists. Reason #1:
Relationship Problems Are Not Necessarily About Being an Empath
Social skills come in handy. Such as:
- Noticing self-centered behavior. (And then saying buh-bye to the narcissist.)
- Noticing if your lover is cruel or unfaithful or steals your money. (And then saying buh-bye to the narcissist.)
- Noticing if your other friends warn you about this new, exciting friend. (And then saying buh-bye to the narcissist; next saying “Thank you” to the trusted friends.)
Empaths, Don’t Fear Narcissists. Reason #2:
Only Feel Like a Victim for as Long as You Need to!
There is no statute of limitations on how long a person needs to feel sad, abused, or victimized. Anyone, empath or not, may feel better by blaming a person. “Narcissist” is today’s most popular term for that, right?
Your favorite way to deal with past pain may be to go onto a Facebook page that serves as a support resource for people who have suffered because of narcissists. It has been liked by nearly 60 thousand people. If that brings you solace, thank goodness for that!
Just be clear that this will not give you empath skills. It will give you solace of the kind called “Misery loves company.” Fulfilling a very human sort of need.
Empaths, Don’t Fear Narcissists. Reason #3:
This Empath Coach Teaches Skills that Aren’t about Being a Victim
My original question at the Empath Empowerment Skills Group was, “DO EMPATHS REALLY NEED TO WORRY ABOUT NARCISSISTS?”
Seems to this Empath Coach, a short answer is that SKILLED EMPATHS DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT NARCISSISTS. (Not more than other people, anyway.)
Have you noticed, way too many people today define being a empath as “Being a victim.”
Well, “Skilled victim” is not the same thing as “Skilled empath.”
No amount of self-pity as a victim will strengthen an empath energetically, protect against Imported STUFF, etc. And although misery does love — and need — company, receiving support as a victim is not the same thing as developing Empath Empowerment® skills.
Empaths, Don’t Fear Narcissists. Reason #4:
Calling Yourself an Empath Is Not Enough to Become a Skilled Empath
Blog-Buddies, I just cringe when I read people equating being an empath with being vulnerable to narcissists, toxic personalities, energy vampires, etc. There are multiple reasons for cringing.
Crying “Victim!” will not protect you from anything
Sure, enjoy the consolation if it is needed, as mentioned in previous point #2. Victim talk offered to sensitive persons and empaths, like the support offered at the popular Facebook page with nearly 60,000 fellow sufferers, is clearly appealing to certain people at certain times in their lives. However this is consolation. It will not protect your energies, your aura.
Energetic literacy shows really clearly when somebody is doing well energetically versus being a holy mess. Of course, every one of you reading this can become a skilled aura reader — whether you were born as an empath or not. I urge you to develop those skills. Then you can accurately gauge for yourself how helpful anybody’s empath coaching really is.
One popular empath coach, Judith Orloff, MD, gave an empath workshop attended by my student Gladys. Another time, my student Joe took that workshop.
Orloff brings a lot of people comfort by helping them feel special and sensitive and victimey. Schooling them in avoiding narcissists and various forms of “vampires.”
Both Gladys and Joe were shocked. Especially when Orloff told them that, due to her special sensitivity: She cannot be with people for more than three hours a day.
Please avoid a situation like the blind are leading the blind.
Fearing narcissists or others will not strengthen you.
Except for encouraging feelings of victimization.
Labeling somebody as a “narcissist” does not give you social skills. Although it could be the BEGINNING of social skills.
Labeling yourself as an “empath” will not help you to benefit from whatever GIFT you have as an empath. Yes, GIFT! When that talent as an empath is used with skill, life goes so much better!
Empaths, Don’t Fear Narcissists. Reason #5:
Many people think it’s enough to just call yourself an empath. Sorry, it isn’t.
Likewise many people today think they have pretty much mastered yoga if they carry a yoga mat and coconut water. Now that one’s just ridiculous, right?
Learning about your empath gifts (which we are doing, bit by bit, at my Facebook group to support empaths) is only the first part of becoming a skilled empath. Sadly most empaths haven’t managed even that much. No wonder so many are feeling bad, seeking consolation as victims, or confusing empathic-sounding encouragesment for victims with helping empaths to get skills.
My system of Empath Empowerment® is not the only method that works. But it does work.
If you want to become a skilled empath, using this particular trademarked system, what is the fastest way that still works? Use the version of my Empath Empowerment Program in this Quick & Easy book for empath’s self-help.
Empaths, Don’t Fear Narcissists. Reason #6:
Empath or Not, All Adults Can Benefit from Developing a Life Skills Toolbox
At the Facebook Group for Empath Empowerment, BRENDA wrote, “I do pull from many different models when it comes to my personal ‘toolbox’.”
This is so wise.
Empath Empowerment Skills help an empath to stop taking on Imported STUFF.
And if you go on to become a Master Empath, then you can safely get huge and accurate insights about people — either in person or from photos — from doing a Skilled Empath Merge. Another fine fit for your personal toolbox.
Even within the field of Energy Spirituality, there are plenty of different skills besides Empath Empowerment®. For instance, check out our Online Workshops.
Lots of skills are needed because personal development is just a bit more complicated than posting something really cute on Instagram.
Empaths, Don’t Fear Narcissists. Reason #8:
Realistic Thinking Can Help You More than Calling Folks “Narcissists.”
Maybe you find out you’re an empath BEFORE a relationship becomes a problem. Maybe you find out AFTER.
Either way, if you find yourself in a horrible relationship, will blaming solve anything?
- “I was in a horrible relationship. I can blame being an empath.” — Sadly, being in a horrible relationship is hardly unique to empaths.
- “I was in a horrible relationship. I can blame the narcissist.” — Not acknowledging your free will. Not taking responsibility.
- “I have developed some skills as an empath. I’m still suffering. So empath skills don’t protect me against narcissists.” — Not fair. Not true. Not helpful
Because if you are in a horrible relationship, of course you will suffer.
Likewise if you dip your legs into a swimming pool, they will get wet. It’s not as though empath skills are going to protect you against that, either.
Empath Empowerment Skills WILL make you more whole, with a stronger sense of identity. What you do with that is up to you.
Don’t fear narcissists. But do gain Empath Empowerment.
This video summarizes my approach. If it helps you, please give it a thumb’s up.
And be sure to ask your questions, using COMMENT boxes below.