Deeper Perception Made Practical

All You Ever Wanted to Know about My Hair

Rose Rosetree has a new look

Rose Rosetree
has a new look

Well, hello! I’ve got a new look.

Not a big-deal new look like the one from Renee Zellweger, now so yesterday’s news.

So far only a small number of people have seen Rose Rosetree’s little new look. But this morning I received this email from one of them, somebody I really love:

Subject line: I hope you’ll tell me

“If there is news about your health, Rose. I saw the wig last night and am thinking about you.”

Yes, My New Look Is a Wig

This is not a cancer wig, Blog-Buddies. It is a vanity wig. Hey, why not tell you the story?I could just say this, of course:

A wig was good enough for George Washington. Why can’t it be good enough for me? 😉

The deal is, I have been accused of having “a bad hair life.” Not just a bad hair day.

Actually I come from a long line of people with unremarkable hair. Some of them had thinning hair. Which is the deal with my own personal coiffure. That thinning has been a problem for 20 years, and by now it’s quite noticeable.

But that’s not all…

More of My Juicy Hair Saga, If Not TMI for You

My hair began turning gray much earlier, about 40 years ago. Over the years, family photos have shown me with various hair colorings: Dark brown, light brown, auburn.

Festive, really.

Eventually all that processing turned my hair to the texture of broom straw. Consequently I went silver for a while.

Only once did I try coloring it again. A friend who is a fabulous hairdresser in Georgetown told me that I would like great as a blonde.

Not surprisingly, he convinced me. What American woman doesn’t have some yearning to become a blonde. Isn’t that our highest-status hair color? Besides, for the first five years of my life my hair was blonde.

Unfortunately colorist Joe must not have been used to a woman with 40% gray, because the result was quite repellent: Majority hair was a watery strawberry blonde (where all the gray had been), while a large central area was more the color of circus peanuts.

One neighbor took a quick look at me and wrote an email of great concern and compassion. Because one look is all she needed to assume that my hairdo meant “cancer.” Gladys’ email began like this, “Of course, you must be going through such a terrible illness.”

Nah, it was just a failed dye job. Eventually I got back to gray and that was that.

Thinning Hair Is Quite Common Among Women Today, But That Doesn’t Keep It from Being Considered Shameful

For the last decade, increasing hair loss caused me to pay a lot of attention to my hair. More than ever before. I tried valiantly to look socially acceptable.

Sometimes I would catch a glimpse in the mirror and feel the acute burn of social shame. Social invisibility was becoming worse than ever, too.

Last year came a haircut when the hair had become brittle as well as thin. Turned so fragile, my hair needed no excuse to break or shed.

“What am I going to do about that hair?”

Eventually I decided enough was enough. I went wig shopping.

Ta Da!

So now I have a new look. I can even have a streaky, fancy sort of hair color with different shades of blonde and brown.

Some of you ladies reading this blog may have worn this look for years. I never could, because… Beyond the alarming strawberry blonde mixed in with circus peanut orange? And then the hair loss? Hmmmm, not going to be a good look.

So don’t worry about me, Blog-Buddies. Fear not for my health. For a 67-year-old, I’m actually way healthy.

The great thing about wearing wigs now — there are countless products, loads of YouTubes, and plenty of company.

Next time you watch TV, try spotting all the women with wigs. Might become a fine new hobby!

Personally I’m enjoying the new look. And here’s something wild. My first wigged-up outing was to the mall, where I had to run a short errand. It was a quiet afternoon, not too many people around. Nevertheless two men looked at me… Two. Men. Yowza! They stopped to take a look.

That kind of thing hadn’t happened for years.

Will I now stop being socially invisible? When my hair has a non-gray colour and an actual style, will more strangers under age 60… actually smile at me?

Ooh, it’s going to be fun to find out.

Besides, I have learned A LOT about shame, and that’s going to help to open up my heart of compassion. Ultimately that matters to me even more than my having any kind of hair look.


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  1. 1
    Julie says:

    I like the new look, Rose. Very stylish. I like how you are always changing things up. No boredom or stagnation for you!

    It must be really neat to see one of your picture albums, covering many years. I bet the change has been constant.

  2. 2
    Isabella C. says:

    Rose, I’ve seen you many times up close and personal, and I never noticed thinning hair. If that’s any consolation.

    Glad you explained this, otherwise I might have been quite shocked and worried. With all the shifting identities lately.

    Anyway, the wig is super cute.

    Finding our way with caring about how we look, and caring about how we are received by others, while also sorting through so many illusions about appearance… and not being swallowed up by those illusions… we’ve got to keep out wits about us in this world!

  3. 3
    Isabella C. says:

    Also I’ve heard of people having a lot success with certain shower water filters for dry/brittle hair and dry skin. Most recently I got advice to get one that filters out chlorine, which apparently there is a ton of in most city water.

    Here’s the one that was recommended to me:

    I’m gonna try it.

  4. 4
    avid reader says:

    Dear Rose,

    I love the new hairdo! And I would never have guessed it was a wig! It looks great!

    And your hair always looked perfectly fine to me before!

  5. 5
    Jessica Gates says:

    I think I like your wig better than George Washington’s… 🙂

  6. 6
    Kira says:

    I like the wig too! And not that there’s anything wrong with cancer wigs… 🙂

  7. 7

    Thank God for cancer wigs, KIRA.

    You know how so many people aren’t just pouring out love for you. Some are worrying about you. Because cancer is just plain scary, even though recovery is so much what I expect for you.

    And for people to worry about me, assuming an illness that I do not have, that just isn’t right. Which is what prompted today’s flirtation with TMI.

  8. 8

    Thanks so much for your words of support as well, JESSICA GATES, AVID READER, ISABELLA C. and JULIE.

  9. 9
    Grace W says:

    Wow! I love it, Rose! I wouldn’t have guessed it’s a wig, either. Very stylish. The cut is quite flattering for the shape of your face.

    I am fascinated by the difference hair coloring can make. I color my hair mainly because it looks so much better with my skin tone and overall coloring. Just from the photo, I can see that the wig is quite flattering with your coloring, just makes your eyes and features “pop” more.

    It will be fun to see what other adventures you have with your new look!

  10. 10
    Louise says:

    Very flattering!

  11. 11
    Cathy says:

    Love it, you look amazing, isn’t it how different body parts and features effect how people see us. I don’t have to consider the wig problem quite yet, although I’m sure it’s coming. For me it’s my eyebrows. Penciling them in sure helps. Otherwise, they are only partly there 😛

  12. 12
    Suz says:

    You look way cool. One more facet of Rosetree courage.


  13. 13
    Jnana says:

    As someone who has had to put up with hair fall for years (the water here is so chlorinated I’ve had friends from neighbouring countries refuse to wash their hair while on vacation here) I can resonate with a lot of what you say.

    And I’m glad you’re getting a kick out of that wig.

    But for me personally, that photo of you with the white hair is far more attractive. Definitely more power there.
    But I guess the world does not see things my way.

  14. 14
    Primmie says:

    You look beautiful. The style really suits you.

  15. 15
    Emily says:

    I thought it was real at first! I think it looks great. Going grey really early also runs in my family so I’m always admiring and making a mental note of cool ideas for later on!

  16. 16
    Sandra says:

    Rose, I love your new do. And it’s not surprising to me that you are getting extra male attention–you are gorgeoua!

  17. 17
    Kylie says:

    Thanks Rose, I was worried. It is very stylish and I’m so glad it only signifies thinning hair (I never noticed that either.) You look great either way.

  18. 18
    Amanda says:

    Rose, you look fabulous with your new hair. And you were beautiful before. 🙂

    With between two and four teenagers in the house, I am also learning about social shame when it comes to looks.

    I always thought it would be more of a worry for girls but I was wrong, the boys are feeling it too.

    Happy head turning! (Not surprised by that, it is great)


  19. 19
    Isabelle says:

    Wow, what a change 🙂 I really like both of your looks – this new one being a movie star attractiveness and with your natural hair a natural attractiveness.
    This new look makes you look soo young.

  20. 20
    Isabelle says:

    I agree with Isabella C. (comment 2) and Grace W (comment 9).

  21. 21
    Isabelle says:

    I wish you all the best, Kira 🙂

  22. 22
    Isabelle says:

    It is so interesting how a different style, hair color etc. can change the way people react to us. I have tested this a few times and it can be really…funny.

    Once I was working with something fashion related in Paris. On the first day I was wearing my gym clothes to work and the next day I wore my ‘designer’ clothes.

    I did this experiment on purpose bc I wanted to test these mostly very superficial people.

  23. 23
    Isabelle says:

    The day I wore my grungy gym outfit nobody smiled at me. No respect. I was a nobody to them.

    On the second day I wore my designer clothes. Suddenly the people I worked with smiled at me and treated me with much more respect, wanted to be around me.

  24. 24
    Isabelle says:

    The day I wore my grungy gym outfit nobody smiled at me. No respect. I was a nobody to them.

    On the second day I wore my designer clothes. They smiled at me and treated me with much more respect, wanted to be around me.

  25. 25
    Brandi says:

    You look beautiful Rose:) I have short hair and that doesn’t gather much male attention but every Halloween I always wear a wig (long hair ones usually) and I see how much more attention I get. Interesting to me. You look great and own it:)

  26. 26
    Kira says:

    Thank you, Isabelle, for the well-wishes!

  27. 27
    Kira says:

    And thank you, Rose, too!

    I do understand the worry, and especially the wish to alleviate it. Even if people are right to be worrying about me, I sometimes feel like they’re worrying more than I am, so I can totally sympathize with wanting to make sure people aren’t worrying for no reason at all!

  28. 28
    Kira says:

    I get the distinct feeling that I’m unusual in declaring loss of hair a benefit, but honestly, it’s really nice to be able to experiment with not just different hair colors and styles, but impossible ones.

    Now, if only the rest would fall out so I could pretend to be Sinead O’Connor and sing “Nothing Compares to U”…

  29. 29
    Kira says:

    I like the way both the color and style of your wig highlight your features. After spending time trying several on, it amazes me how just small changes in either color or style can fit a person or not.

  30. 30
    Tehya says:

    This is so exciting, congratulations Rose. The style and color suit you very well.

    I was enchanted by your silver curls and did not see you as having a bad hair life. But as someone who had a terrible time understanding my hair until age 18/19 I understand the problem hair saga.

  31. 31
    Tehya says:

    And I understand how important it is to have hair that suits and makes you feel comfortable and confident.

    Wait, I think nearly everyone I know understands that and cares about that!

  32. 32
    Tehya says:

    I think wigs, extensions, and weaves are more common than a lot of people realize.


    Models in ads.

    I’ve known a lot of stylish young women who regularly use hair extensions to get the fullness and length they prefer.

  33. 33
    Tehya says:

    And there is the world of black women’s hair care in which wigs and weaves are commonplace.

    I used to go to a salon that did both black and caucasian hair.

    There was usually at least one person, black or white, getting hair extensions or weaves or taking off a wig to get their hair done.

  34. 34
    Tehya says:

    I say get used to turning heads when you go out 🙂

  35. 35
    Tehya says:

    Because I am a big fan of natural products, I will add that most hair products are filled with things that are drying and damaging to the hair.

    Using certain chemicals that are casually tossed into shampoos and body washes doesn’t leave everyone’s hair and skin in great shape.

  36. 36

    Aw, thanks everybody.

  37. 37
    David B says:

    Rose –
    I suggest a before and after aura reading. Was the change in peoples response to you due to the different hair? Or was it due to a change in your aura due to greater confidence in your appearance? 😉

  38. 38

    DAVID B, this interesting question will become the basis of a future blog post. I can tell you that right now.

    Prepare to be surprised, my friend.

  39. 39
    Isabelle says:

    I also thought of this, David B.

  40. 40
    an avid reader says:

    Looking forward to the blog post that answers David’s question!

  41. 41
    Jnana says:

    Great suggestion David B. (And Isabelle)

    And I await your post with much anticipation, Rose.

    I’m guessing people responded to you better because of the hair…
    but your level of confidence was not affected by it. At least not once you began teaching.

  42. 42

    Looking over these wonderful comments while preparing the promised post you’all inspired, I want to thank everyone again.

    I’m especially taken with your Comment 28, KIRA, about “impossible” hair possibility.

    Such a hugely bold spiritual adventurer in action, that’s you!

  43. 43
  44. 44
    Jessabean says:

    As a woman who has had thin hair for 20 years, I understand what you’re saying completely. I’m so happy for you and your wig. You look great!

    Thank you for being so brave in sharing.

  45. 45

    JESSABEAN, you’re so welcome. We cover all sorts of topics.

    Good to have you commenting here at the blog.

  46. 46
    Rachel says:

    I think your hair looks fantastic, Rose 🙂

  47. 47
    Jamie says:

    Well , I’m sad to see the wig .

    Your wavy silver hair was beautiful , combined with your spiritual knowledge it made you so warm and loving in a kind grandmother everyone would want way .

  48. 48

    JAMIE, I see your point. However, my hair isn’t just silvery. In the front, you can see hair loss. Not a good look.

    What if we lived in a world that was majority in Enlightenment? Then I’d gladly go commando, hair-wise.

    And when we get there, I’ll doff my wig in gratitude and ease.

  49. 49

    Meanwhile I want people to see my website and online courses with videos.

    Stop to see them. Not just click away because social conditioning makes silver hair read as “Old” and “Invisible.”

    Thank you for your sweet comment.

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