Shocking but true: Most empaths are NOT as empathic as they think they are.
What Does It Mean, Being an Empath?
Being an empath is not a behavior. It is not something that a person can choose. Or that anyone can develop. (Unlike empathy, which we’ll get to separately.)
Every empath is a Highly, Highly Sensitive Person; and 1 in 20 of the people on this sweet earth have been born as an empath.
Blog-Buddies, you probably know that this empath coach has identified 15 different talents that an empath might have. You might have several or just one. Either way, being wired with even one talent as an empath means that you qualify.
But did you know how “Empath” is different from “Empathy”? Many of us are pretty fuzzy about the details.
What Empaths Lack Matters as Much as What We Have
Born empaths have talent, by definition. However, we are not born with skills. These must be learned. Which isn’t difficult, but neither is it automatic.
We may also benefit from learning how to act in an empathic manner. Because unskilled empaths DON’T necessarily act empathic at all.
What Does It Mean, Being Empathic?
Showing empathy or being empathic happen after a person has learned the skill of empathic behavior.
Some of us pick this up very early in life. Otherwise empathy can always be learned. This is a social skill, not a skill for moving in consciousness (which is what skilled empaths learn).
Empathy is a very human skill. It happens when consciousness is positioned at human vibrational frequencies.
Empathy is done through human actions like these:
- Watching an other person’s facial expression
- Asking questions to learn what another person thinks or feels or does
After paying attention in human ways, empathy helps us to relate… humanly.
Empathy, sympathy, compassion — all these are versions of the same thing. But none of them is worth much, really, unless we follow that up with something else that is also very human…
Saying things and doing things — that is what it means to act empathic.
Sweet! Important! Examples are:
- Smiling when you hear somebody else’s story or sorrow or joy. (Different kinds of smiles, right?
- Nodding when you listen to that person’s news.
- Touching that person’s hand.
- While the friend right there in the room with you shares a story of heartbreak — not texting other people or checking your messages
Empathy is beautiful but unskilled empaths tend to zoom right past it and go over to…
What Is the Sound of One Hand Clapping?
You have heard of that saying, right? It is a traditional topic for contemplation, perhaps the most famous of all Buddhist koans.
Since you live now, in the Age of Awakening, you do not need to contemplate for hours to experience this.
Just take two minutes of your day’s Technique Time and do the following steps:
- Sit comfortably. Close your eyes.
- Imagine a pair of hands clapping, and enjoy the (imaginary) sound.
- Now pretend that you have one of those hands just like before, only now the background for that hand is a beautful blue sky. Maybe a few puffy white clouds. Make it a large and serene vista, where you have that one hand.
- Imagine that one hand, moving in the same manner as before. Only there cannot be the same sound of clapping. There is no other hand.
- And thus your listening or watching will just bring you into silence.
- Enjoy that big silence. It can be as big as all the sky. Maybe bigger.
- When you’re ready, open your eyes. Technique over.
That simple. Because now, folks, we are living in the Age of Awakening. It is very easy for us to move in consciousness. Not just empaths. Anybody!
Transcendence, the Divine Vibrational Frequency!
That, Blog-Buddies, is the sound of one hand clapping.
When you do Skilled Empath Merge, you briefly move in and out of transcendence. But mostly your consciousness settles into the astral-level experience of what is going on at that time with your Discovery Person.
(“Your Discovery Person” — that is what I call the person at the other end of your Skilled Empath Merges, as you learn all about from my collection of so many amazing techniques that you can use to fly in consciousness, “The Master Empath.”)
Yes, fellow empaths. There are so many reasons to be grateful if you were born an empath.
One of the most important to me is how any skilled empath can make such superb use of Technique Time. Every time we do a Skilled Empath Merge we can bring Divine and celestial truth into this world.
Empathy, by Contrast, is Quintessentially Human
You sit or stand in the company of another human being.
Right on the surface of life, shallowing up, you notice that other person.
When you show empathy with empathic behavior, this is a powerfully human kind of behavior. Spiritually sacred, I’d call it, too. Undeniably, empathy is human.
Let’s Remember, Empathic Behavior Is For Good Things Too
Sympathy, compassion, and empathic behavior — let’s not get all gloomy about them.
Because they can involve sharing human joys too. Infinite variations on delight, not just the infinite variations on earth about human misery!
For example, your friend Joe tells you the story of his Thanksgiving.
Happy or sad or a mixture — when telling his tale, Joe is making a very human sound, like two hands clapping.
When you actively share the conversation, expressing empathy, that is like a second pair of hands clapping along with him.
Show Empathy Whenever You Like. It’s So Human.
Living now in this Age of Awakening, joyfully pursuing truth as householders, know that you can explore empathic behavior whenever you like. (Although you’re definitely not obligated to, right?)
Whenever you choose to give the magnificent gift of empathy, that is sacred. That is (to me) just as spiritual as the traditionally garbed Buddhist monk, having sat in contemplation for hours, in his sweet renunciate way, as he pondered the sound of one hand clapping.
Solemnly that humble monk awaits the praise (or whack on the head) of his master.
Your householder version? Quickly evolving person, just take a split second to recognize this equally sacred kind of moment. So human!
Empathy is the rowdy sound of four hands clapping.
P.S. Pretty Ironic
Do you ever mix up these expressions?
- Empath versus empathy
- Empath talent versus being empathic
- Doing an unskilled empath merge versus showing empathy
- Doing an Skilled Empath Merge versus learning how to be empathic
Hey, I can understand that mixup. Back when I published the first book in English for empaths, I was so new to this brand new field that the title of my book was…
“Empowered by Empathy.”
Gulp. By 2001 (when that book was published) I knew quite a lot about how to train empaths –in fact, the basics of my system of Empath Empowerment® were fully described in that book. The starter version, anyway. Like an early word processing software.
But even having worked on that first book for empaths for nearly four years, I still was confused about the distinction between EMPATH and EMPATHY.
And so I didn’t even put the word EMPATH in the title. Ouch!