Deeper Perception Made Practical

Cutting a Cord of Attachment to a Player

Not all sleazy lovers identify themselves with a sign.

Not all sleazy lovers identify themselves with a sign.

Sophie was a little bit in love. She had only known the guy for a week, but that Alexander was oh-so-charming.

Could he be her Prince Charming?

Sophie’s intention for our session was to trust her love life to be fulfilling. That mattered because all her previous love interests had disappointed her, to put it mildly.

By the end of her session, Sophie felt so much better.

And it occurred to me that you Blog-Buddies might be interested in reading about what happened, so I asked permission to share part of her story (changing details, of course, to protect confidentiality).

Have you ever been manipulated by a player (or other kind of big serial flirt)? Then you’ll want to read today’s article.

Actually, this RES case history can be of interest for many reasons. For instance, you may learn some technical points about cords of attachment… that maybe you didn’t know before.

That includes a different kind of cord item than I’ve written about previously. Not a regular cord item, like the many examples given in “Cut Cords of Attachment with Energy Spirituality.” And not a process-oriented cord item. But something entirely different….

How Could Sophie Have a Cord to Alexander So Early in the Relationship?

Sophie was shocked to learn this was possible. Yet some of you Blog-Buddies know how a person gets a cord of attachment.

The very first time in your life that you’re interested in another person for even one minute

what gets installed in your aura?

And also a sacred, beautiful spiritual tie (that you keep for life, maybe longer)

A cord of attachment to that person (now “the cordee”)

There’s just one exception — if you have sex with that person right away. JOKE.

The exception is if that person you become interested in is deceased (at the time when you first become interested). Like if you become a big Jane Austen fan. “Pride and Prejudice” is a great book, but it won’t make Ms. Jane become literally immortal. So no cord of attachment to her!

During the week that Sophie knew Alexander, they had emailed each other. That’s plenty to have a cord of attachment, right?

Sure, they only met once. So what?

Actually that’s when the set of cord items became far worse than previously.

You do know that cord items change, right? And always in the direction of “Bad to Worse” or “A higher number on the Yuckiness Index that RES professionals use to evaluate cords of attachment.”

This particular cord of attachment scored 10 out of 10 possible points on the Yuckiness Index.

Cord Items, By Now Gone for Good

Here is the sequence of cord dialog that was in Sophie’s cord of attachment to Alexander… at the time it was removed permanently.

Which incident became stuck in Sophie’s cord of attachment? It was on their first (and only) date. They were in a cafe, where the date had been going on for a while.

  1. Alexander: Briefly stares into your eyes.
  2. Alexander: You are so sexy.
  3. Alexander: You are so adorable.
  4. Alexander: I want you to become very interested in me.
  5. Alexander: I want you to become obsessed with me.
  6. Alexander: I have done this with other women and now I am doing this to you.
  7. Sophie: He’s so fascinating.
  8. Sophie: I really do want to sleep with him.
  9. Sophie: But I’m holding onto my power, so I will make him wait…
  10. Sophie: (Not wait too long, though.)

So What’s the Unusual Kind of Cord Item in this Cord of Attachment?

Intrusive Cord Items. In this cord dialog, the sequence from Cord Item #2-#6 was a set of intrusive cord items.

What is an Intrusive Cord Item?

A person is acting pushy, trying to manipulate the other person into doing something.

Technically, it could be called “Sending psychic coercion,” a form of STUFF that you can learn to heal with Book One in my series of Energy HEALING Skills for the Age of Awakening: “Use Your Power of Command for Spiritual Cleansing and Protection.”

Did that automatically have to get stuck in a cord of attachment? Nope, it’s just that Sophie was vulnerable to that kind of approach. (Remember what was written here earlier about the dismal experiences of her love life so far?)

In case you’re worrying… did Alexander’s moves mean that Sophie would automatically receive psychic coercion in her aura? Nope, because you can learn how to keep that from happening. It’s quite easy, really, and covered thoroughly in that previously-mentioned book for self-healing.

And, ooh, do these Intrusive Cord Items count as psychic attack? Is Alexander an energy vampire?

Nope. He’s a manipulative flirt. He’s a creep. He’s a player. That doesn’t give him energy superpowers.

There is no such thing as a “psychic vampire” or “energy vampire,” and I would encourage you to wonder about the aura reading skills of anybody who tells you about these alleged boogey monsters.

Plenty of folks are finding them… because they haven’t progressed past the beginner stage of energetic literacy. They’re like kids who can’t tell a p from a q. Would you call that word-type literacy?

Once a person gains full energetic literacy, that person won’t spread this kind of fear-provoking nonsense.

You know, there’s nothing horrible about putting the moves on somebody you find sexually delicious. There’s nothing wrong with thinking hard your own version of “I think I can.”

In the case of my first kiss, it was more like being with him and thinking as hard as I could,  “Kiss me, JOE.”

Followed by a triumphant note in my diary, “I made JOE kiss me.” Hey, I was an adoring 16-year-old. It probably didn’t take long for JOE to figure out that I was yearning for him.

At the time, I thought that my tiny attempt at “making” him want me was what it meant to “be sexy.” Fortunately I’ve learned otherwise. My little attempt at contagious mind control wasn’t good karma for me. So it’s good there are better interpersonal skills; Blog-Buddies, you probably know them, too. Or else you can learn.

Results for My Client Sophie

Here are some of the results we discussed, just because that particular cord of attachment was gone forever:

It would be easier for Sophie to re-evaluate her relationship with Alexander.

Sophie could relate to his seductive gaze, incidentally. “I remember that part of our date, while we were at the cafe. Before we moved on to the restaurant. He DID look deeply into my eyes and I had a quick thought he was sending something towards me.”

It might be easier for Sophie to NOT become sexually involved with this player.

Sophie laughed when she heard Cord Items #8-10. “Sounds like me,” she said.

In the future, Sophie would think twice (or more) before spending time with a player.

She would do better at recognizing sleazy, manipulative flirts.

“I feel proud of myself,” Sophie told me. “He asked if he could kiss me good night and I said no. Now I’m really glad that I told him no.”

She left her session with new confidence about her love life. I especially appreciated her saying this:

I have always liked to meet attractive men.

Now I like to evaluate those men.

And I like to meet GOOD men.

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Join the Discussion

  1. 1
    Dana20 says:

    Thank you, Rose and Sophie, for sharing! It was so helpful to read the reminder that psychic coercion only sticks if we are already vulnerable to it.

    Congrats to Sophie for cutting the cord and moving on all the wiser.

  2. 2
    Dana Joy says:

    I love the psychic coercion healing in Rose’s book Use Your Power of Command for Spiritual Cleansing and Protection, and I found the additional skills in that chapter very important for me as well.

  3. 3
    Dana Joy says:

    Before that, when I had experienced very direct and obvious psychic coercion with someone, I felt quite uncomfortable but didn’t really understand what was going on or what to do about it, e.g. a clear “no thanks!”

  4. 4
    Dana20 says:

    Now I’m much more aware of it and know options of how to deal with it; including noticing subtle messages in advertising that are pushing ridiculous ideas, and I sometimes say:

    “Look at what they’re implying! No way! That’s not true! Yuck!”

  5. 5
    Jesse says:

    It’s pretty amazing how physical appearance is only one layer of truth.

    Motivation seems to be another layer of truth. What is fascinating is that motivation from outside oneself can be illuminated from inside oneself!

  6. 6

    Aha, JESSE! I can tell that super-analytical engineer’s mind is at work. 🙂

    But I don’t quite understand how “motivation from outside oneself can be illuminated from inside oneself.”

    Please, please, give us a story.

  7. 7
    Jesse says:

    Well….I guess its about the difference between actions and motivations.

    On the surface we can see a person’s actions that we interpret in a particular manner. But what is the person’s motivation?

  8. 8
    Jesse says:

    For example……

    The charmer who says all the right things at the right time……on the surface it appears he is funny, trustworthy, etc. And yet….the motivation might be something else….

  9. 9
    Jesse says:

    Another example….

    the workaholic who appears diligent at work and looks like they have everything together…but the motivation is not to build the unit/business, instead its to stay out of the house because they can’t stand their home life…..

  10. 10
    Jesse says:

    How does one understand the distinction between somebody else’s actions and their motivations?

  11. 11
    Jesse says:

    What was interesting is that Sophie went inside of herself and used her own truth to understand that Alexander’s motivation was something other than what she was expecting…

  12. 12
    Jesse says:

    ……based upon his surface level actions alone….

  13. 13

    JESSE, now that’s more like it. Helpful! Thanks.

  14. 14

    On that topic of players, I’m curious. Have any of you Blog-Buddies had dealings with a player?

    Among the many varieties of troubling relationships, encounters with true players are in the minority. A player can set you up for obsession when you don’t have any history of that before. (Or after.)

    If you have encountered a player, how long did it take you to realize what was going on? What helped you to free yourself?

  15. 15
    Joyce says:

    “..ever been manipulated by a player”? Yes..oh, yes. I can relate to Sophie here. Thank you for sharing. It has reminded me that there are some cords I too need to cut!

    It’s great Sophie could recognize that quick thought that Alexander was sending “something” towards her.

    Relationships affect so much in our thinking and way of being. It seems like with this cord gone, life can be altogether more fulfilling.

  16. 16

    JOYCE, you’re so right. It is great that SOPHIE noticed a subtle feeling or intuition.

    But players can also be recognized by what they say and do, paying attention to objective reality.

    Here comes an example.

  17. 17

    Once I had a client, “GLADYS.” (Imagine that 😉 )

    She had five dates with “Joe.” She wondered about him and set up a session of aura reading research so that she could get inside information.

    Was that Joe ever a player!

  18. 18

    Part of my research included pulling out an energetic hologram of their fifth date.

    Ten minutes into their time at the coffee shop, what did I find in Joe’s Heart Chakra Databank for Emotional Giving?

    Symbolic size of 90 miles.

  19. 19

    And the quality of that chakra databank.

    Trying to bowl GLADYS over, impress her mightily in order to become important to her.

    There was nothing pretty about this very over-functioning chakra databank with (at the time of the incident) a strongly manipulative quality.

  20. 20

    Another bit of research: Joe’s Belly Chakra Databank for Sex Appeal.

    At the time of the incident, that one was out to the moon.

    Quality? Extreme, extreme intensity of desire for GLADYS, and with this a desire to get her hooked on him.

  21. 21

    I laughed when I researched Joe’s Root Chakra Databank for Presence in the Room.

    This was out just six feet, smaller than when I had researched him from a publicity photo (LinkedIn-type).

    Of course, chakra databanks are always changing at the astral component — the size and quality.

    Only the Divine-level component of a chakra databank is constant, that lovely, lifelong gift of the soul in each chakra databank.

  22. 22

    So Joe’s personality was (for him) unusually subdued while flirting with GLADYS in the coffee shop.

    Why? Seemed to this aura reader, Joe was concentrating really hard — focusing on a desire, sort of the “I think I can” loud inner thinking sort of inner pushing.

    Only this was “You are becoming very interested in me.”

  23. 23

    Yes, the day after posting this article here, I had the research session with GLADYS. That’s why the details are so fresh in my mind.

    And here’s the beauty part, JOYCE. GLADYS told me: “Every time we get together, he works the same thing into the conversation. How his buddies are always having a chance to sleep with different women. But Joe refuses because he only wants one woman.”

  24. 24

    Shakespeare wrote a great quote about that, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

    So here’s the commonsense part. When someone you’re dating keeps saying, “I’m not like the others. I never do XYZ,” ask yourself a question.

    “Why does this person keep volunteering the same information?”

    Could there be “something rotten in the state of Denmark?” (A second quote from “Hamlet.”

  25. 25

    Sure enough, JOE had many many chakra databanks with a pattern about “Being my lover is the best thing that could ever happen to a woman. And nobody is going to keep the tomcat from roaming the neighborhood.”

  26. 26

    So what’s my practical advice?

    1. Don’t rush into a love relationship. Get to know that cutie before becoming sexually involved.

    2. Yes, do aura reading before you become sexually involved. Either learn to do this for yourself (which you surely can, and many on this blog have done). Or else have a session with an RES expert.

    3. Also notice what the person says and does. For instance, is there some of that behavior noted in my Comment #23?

  27. 27

    One more point for balance:

    There’s something very different beween being a player versus just being sexually very active and desiring a lot of varied experience.

    Sometimes a person needs to do a lot of sexual experimentation; may be a super-great lover and also a good, honest person, etc.

    Again, this will show clearly with the three points just noted. Find out who this person is and look before you leap into love.

    That can save so much painful drama!

  28. 28
    Kira says:

    I imagine I’ll find out if I’ve had a relationship with a player in one of my next several sessions with you, Rose, since that’s an area I am intending to keep healing.

  29. 29

    KIRA, good strategy. This is one of the grand life themes on the planet. Probably a required course at the School of Enlightenment.

  30. 30
    Lilian says:

    This is all quite useful and practical advise.

    I have to say that I enjoy the shallower aspects of relationships the most.

    But yeah, men and their root chakra drives must be taken with a pinch of salt …

  31. 31
    Joyce says:

    Sometimes I can see someone else’s situation rather clearly but have given the benefit of the doubt in my own situations. This probably speaks to my emotional investment.

    Noticing what people say and do is an area I’m working on…in all relationships.

    A great thing about RES is that I can still gain insight and healing for the relationships that are long gone. I find that pretty amazing.

  32. 32
    Joyce says:

    I also appreciate comment 27. “Sometimes a person needs to do a lot of sexual experimentation; may be a super-great lover and also a good, honest person, etc.”

    That perspective is refreshing as that could apply to both women and men.

  33. 33
    Grace T. says:

    This interesting blog article reminded me strongly of a player I went on a date with years ago. In fact, I cut my cord of attachment to him last year, so just now I went back to read over the session.

    The first cord item from him? “Trying to draw you in with my eyes.” Laughing. So yes, I very much agree with your points in Comment 26, Rose.

  34. 34
    Isabelle says:

    Thanks for this helpful blog post!

    I agree with Jesse…’On the surface we can see a person’s actions that we interpret in a particular manner. But what is the person’s motivation?’


  35. 35
    Emily T says:

    Thank you Sophie for sharing this! I had imagined that something like this was possible.

  36. 36
    Emily T says:

    I think I did meet someone who was able to do this. Thankfully he was trying it on while I was in a relationship already so I ignored him completely but I want to put him on the list of cords to cut ASAP.

    I remember being very confused as to why I was so attracted to him even though he had a lot of personal issues that were revolting (like thinking it’s acceptable to do cocaine, and while driving!).

    Unfortunately I was on a group holiday so couldn’t avoid him.

  37. 37
    Emily T says:

    I was upset with myself a little as I felt disloyal to my current partner. I think what “freed” me was witnessing his drug taking on a night out.

    Before that I had heard that it was the case but witnessing it was like flicking a switch!

    Starting to realise what a good cord of attachment this would be to address in a RES session.

  38. 38
    Emily T says:

    Also what makes me think he was a player…

    Reputation as a player (that I later heard from friends)

    The first time I met him he elected to teach me snooker and was very into showing me how to play by putting his hands on my hands etc.

    He had a girlfriend at the time of the group holiday but still made sure he snogged someone in Puerto Rico.

    Would ask lots of questions about myself.

    Etc etc ad infinitum

  39. 39

    It was lovely of SOPHIE to be willing to share, EMILY, and your share here was quite something too.

    I laughed long and loud at this part:

    “personal issues… like thinking it’s acceptable to do cocaine, and while driving!”

  40. 40
    Nicole says:

    Yes, I have. He was a player, among other things. It was some years ago at this point but I still remember the sliminess and the slick way he told half truths.

    I had no interest in him as a partner but he kept trying to convince me otherwise. First, trying to win me over with his knowledge of spiritual matters, then with stories of all the women who wanted him, and then with trying to figure of what I was thinking and had been through emotionally. More as a way to mold himself into what I needed.

    Very manipulative indeed.

    It was definitely a learning experience for me. He is on my list of major chords to be cut=)

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