Deeper Perception Made Practical

Join the Discussion

  1. 1
    Grace T says:

    I have noticed oversharing on Facebook as well, occasionally in shocking ways.

    Or at least shocking to me, but not to everyone, apparently.

  2. 2
    Grace T says:

    I think some people seek to use social media to connect more deeply with others and share their lives authentically.

    I used to seek that through social media as well(when I was younger and my friends list was smaller) whereas I now see it as a strange and uncomfortable platform for that.

  3. 3
    Grace T says:

    A lot of people want (crave) that social engagement you speak of, but have different definitions of what constitutes “appropriate” or “right-sized.”

    There’s a whole scale of comfort from sharing nothing, sharing superficially, sharing deeply, all the way to “TMI? What’s that?”

  4. 4
    Grace T says:

    There are also movements that go through social media intended to open up the conversation on mental health issues, for example.

    I find that can prompt sharing (or oversharing depending on where that line is) of personal info as a way to destigmatize issues.

  5. 5
    Grace T says:

    I find the whole thing fascinating overall. Social media is still very new, in the scheme of things.

    It’s causing concepts of social sphere and private vs public to be stretched in new ways.

    The edges of private life aren’t where they used to be and aren’t the same for everyone.

  6. 6
    Grace T says:

    I’m looking forward to reading that book you mentioned.

    I think quite a bit about technology, it’s addictiveness, and it’s impact.

  7. 7
    Mel says:

    I find that people feel comfortable sharing information about certain illnesses but not others.

    Certain “survivor” stories are socially acceptable to talk about but others are considered TMI. Stories about surviving cancer are considered inspiring for example.

  8. 8
    David B says:

    Hi Rose

    Great article. There is of course the “high tech, high touch” phenomena where people overcompensate for the impersonal nature of tech communications by exaggerated statements and over-sharing.

    Unfortunately, some people are now Learning “social skills” this way leading to bizarre forms of social engagement that some companies try to exploit.

  9. 9
    David B says:

    The change in age you describe is adding to the mess.

    Having a blog of this nature, I’m sure you see all kinds of inappropriate comments. TMI and over-stating, attempts to create conflict to get a response (like a childhood tantrum), and so forth.

    I also get ones that are all quotes, where they intact using others words.

  10. 10
    David B says:

    I’ve found spiritual communities can become strange on this count. Like when feelings are seen as lacking equanimity so are repressed. Or the over-sharing.

    But yes I full agree. Lack of acceptance means resistance to what is. Not a recipe for awakening to what is. (laughs)

  11. 11
    Sophie G. says:

    As I myself am a very personal person, I connect with people on a personal level – IF I connect.

    Fast track. (‘Real life’ is most definitely different than ‘internet life’. I’m more talking about ‘real life’.)

  12. 12
    Sophie G. says:

    I’ve always found it hard to go slowly and take things step by step. Because I am not wired that way.

    My interest in people is VERY personal…I looove to get to know people deep down on a personal level. I’m not easily shocked by personal stories either (if they don’t contain anything violent and very disturbing etc.).

  13. 13
    Sophie G. says:

    It is the most precious gift to me if a person opens up to me, and also, does so early/fast.

  14. 14
    Sophie G. says:

    But this has also been very frustrating to me as most people not are that way. It can be scary to others. People easily distance themselves.

  15. 15
    Sophie G. says:

    I don’t think that for me this has to do with a lack of integrity.

    But I definitely have to learn to go more slowly. It’s just not really who/how I am.

  16. 16
    Sophie G. says:

    When it comes to being very open about things on the internet, I do understand some people.

  17. 17
    Sophie G. says:

    I don’t share so much personal on facebook and I don’t have Instagram. But if I would let myself go, I’d probably show personal things too.

    But maybe in a smarter way than some people haha.

  18. 18
    Sophie G. says:

    Rose, what do you mean by

    ‘1. To improve conversations, stop with the Boundary Talk, already. Don’t analyze anyone. Just speak up for what you want the other person to say or do.’ ?

  19. 19
    Sophie G. says:

    I can’t tell another person what I want him/her to say or do?! Would be very practical though. ?

  20. 20
    Zofia says:

    It’s interesting. People are experiencing life differently, now, in this age of awakening.

    I think it’s natural for humans to want to talk to figure things out and we’ll figure out what to talk about and to who as we go.

  21. 21
    Zofia says:

    On this blog, Rose gives us to language to understand and to communicate on certain things without us having to spell it out in eye watering detail. So having the right language tools helps a lot.

  22. 22
    Zofia says:

    This is why I like commenting so much. It gives me a chance to use the correct language tools. :-p Having the right mental framing helps in so many ways.

  23. 23
    Zofia says:

    Imagine trying to communicate on “spiritual addiction” or even “types of stuff” or even “chakra databanks” without proper definitions!

  24. 24
    Zofia says:

    Imagine being in your early 20s, for example, trying to make long lasting life decisions in a tough economic climate (yup, even for countries like the UK…) while possibly being in spiritual addiction, or simply feeling a bit spaced out with the changes and not really feeling present.

    It sounds tough. No wonder people want to talk. 🙂

  25. 25
    Zofia says:

    It’s not all bad.

    Personally, I’ve never a person going through similar things (like going through college and grad school with no parental support) in real life , but I have over the internet.

  26. 26
    Rose Rosetree says:

    Thank you for the wonderful comments here, GRACE T, MEL, DAVID B, ZOFIA, and SOPHIE G.

    SOPHIE, regarding your Comment #18, you inspired me to do a bit of a rewrite at that part of the post, clarifying perhaps. In your honor.

    Also, to understand the info packed into that paragraph, it would really be helpful to click on the link provided.

  27. 27
    Rose Rosetree says:

    Now, if I might add a comment that might annoy you — and maybe not be helpful to you (only you can decide, after all) and also might be helpful to other Blog-Buddies.

    What you wrote in Comment 11-14, I disagree that you are “wired that way,” to prefer instant intimacy. As if this were something personal about you.

  28. 28
    Rose Rosetree says:

    Nearly all people are “wired that way.”

    How common is it for a little girl to meet another five-year-old and, when things are going well, say this? “I’ll be your best friend.”

    Social skills, even social maturity, help a person to manage intimacy more wisely, that’s all.

  29. 29
    Rose Rosetree says:

    Also, as ZOFIA mentioned, if someone has spiritual addiction or spiritual shutdown, that throws off how a person manages social engagement.

    Otherwise the cause of problems with social engagement can involve a lack of social skills and/or STUFF (which can always, always, always be healed, according to RES).

  30. 30
    Rose Rosetree says:

    The whole point of this post is that social engagement is really hard these days, what with one thing or another.

    Probably most people feel they are “wired” to over-share instantly or “not be social.” That’s just not true.

  31. 31
    Rose Rosetree says:

    What’s great to me is your Comment #15.

    You’re willing to grow and change. 🙂

    When you develop more sophistication in your social engagement, you may well revise old notions that you are “wired” in ways that cause suffering (and turn out to be quite negotiable).

  32. 32
    Jean says:

    Well thank you Rose and thank you all who commented.

    Oh yes…. I find many of the same challenges. Ugh.

    Happily tho’ after reading this post a few times
    (and links – and comments) I am feeling better about this whole communicating with others issue.

  33. 33
    Jean says:

    Quoting Rose here – “And do you Blog-Buddies have any other tips or resources to share for fixing the massive problem of today’s social engagement?”

    Finding integrity based like-minded community helps..
    like this one.. 🙂

  34. 34
    Rose Rosetree says:

    JEAN, it’s good to read all your comments today and, especially, your TIP in Comment #33.

    I’m curious about what additional suggestions arise from you wise Blog-Buddies.

  35. 35
    Zofia says:

    😀 “Finding integrity based like-minded community helps” yeah!

  36. 36
    Avid Reader says:

    I would really like to find more like minded people in real life. But am finding it challenging!

Click here to comment ...

Leave Your Comment