Declaring Honesty. In preparation for America’s Independence Day tomorrow…
How about making your own personal Declaration of Honesty? Maybe you’ve already begun this kind of personal declaration. Otherwise you could begin on this very day.
Warning: Appropriate honesty takes independence! But I know you’ve got that, Blog-Buddies. Plus living your truth — appropriately — is a powerful way to encourage spiritual awakening. In yourself and in others.
Declaring Honesty. Despite Social Expectations
Today’s post is dedicated to a couple of comments at this blog months ago:
- Gladys: “Its generally polite to smile even when you dont want to sometimes.”
- Joe: “You know how your eyes change when you genuinely smile? Mimic that without smiling as you go out through your day and you may notice your whole persona change.”
What a lot of hooey! That whole “Fake it till you make it” type of advice would be enough to make me groan… if I let it. Instead I’ll redirect that emotion into the rest of this blog post.
Experimentation is worthwhile, of course. Any experimentation. Even with unsightly expressions designed to manipulate others.
Experimentation is the glory of Earth School, isn’t it?
We’re free to experiment however we like. Afterwards we do get consequences, though. Well, it is a Learning Planet.
And you can be sure of this, Blog-Buddies who experiment — one way or another — every single day: Lying isn’t good for anyone. Not long-term and usually not short-term either.
Honesty Shows in a Smile.
After all, can’t you tell a fake smile?
Here are three articles to tell you from different angles, ha ha! What you have already (no doubt) figured out for yourself:
- 3 Easy Ways To Spot Genuine & Fake Smiles
- BBC – Science & Nature – Human Body and Mind – Spot The Fake Smile
- A neurologist explains how to spot a fake smile – Business Insider
Declaring Honesty? Admittedly, Not Always Easy.
Good manners are the healing balm of social relationships. Honesty can be blended beautifully into all that goo.
At least, most of the time, honesty can be perfectly compatible with good manners.
Blog-Buddies, sometimes I struggle with blunt communication, especially when very angry. Conveniently or not, the honesty can (for me) sometimes outweigh any sweetness and light.
But guess what? When I do communicate some sweetness, or praise, or gratitude; or when I flash somebody a smile… it’s authentic. Independently given, free and clear.
How do you manage that balancing act? Any human stories to tell?
The Most Important Knowledge I Can Share about Declaring Honesty
Can you guess? It’s avoiding a fairly common form of fakery — one of life’s poignant alternatives to declaring honesty.
Here are two hints: This knowledge can help you with spiritual awakening and also safeguard your health.
Okay, wait for it…
Avoid it like the plague.
Actually, I’m not aware of any actual plagues in America, at least nothing like the Bubonic variety of yore.
However, I’ve had several clients who used to do cheerfulness. And it hurt them. Until they learned to avoid it. To just not bother pretending to be cheerful.
And, yes, self-pity doesn’t happen once the big, fake mask of cheerfulness slips. A person shows up. Just a human person.
Cheerfulness Isn’t Merely a Lie. It Hurts the Liar, Too.
If you develop Stage Three Energetic Literacy, you’ll find cheerfulness easily enough. And then read the trickle-down effect into a person’s chakra databanks.
Cheerfulness is just plain dreadful.
Two clients I’m thinking of now have learned to stop that fake cheerfulness. And their lives are much better for the change.
Even though they undertook the cheerfulness for a variety of motives. Some of which even seemed virtuous, even laudable:
- Like how to take care of a beloved dying mother and hide the pain… in order to carry on.
- Or how to be a good boy who was hiding family secrets, like physical abuse.
Independence from Cheerfulness Can Help a Lot
Because lying to yourself or others won’t really help anything.
My one brush with attempting cheerfulness met with a minor miracle. Of sorts.
Back in the day, my family was getting together in memory of my father, Ernie. Recently deceased. He’d had an especially horrible last year at the hospital, dying in his early 50’s and dying by degrees.
So there I was, acting cheerful and stalwart. As if “Yeah, my favorite member of the family has slowly slipped from life and now he’s finally gone, but hey, life goes on. No biggie.”
At a certain point, all of us stood in a driveway. I went to open up the garage door. And then for some mysterious reason (perhaps an angel or maybe due to my sheer spaciness at the time) one of my fingertips got caught in the slats of that garage door. (A pretty hard thing to do, not that I recommend you try it. Ever.)
Immediately my uncle came to my rescue. Stanley Kephart, he was another of my favorite relatives, and he outlived my Dad by many decades. Typically, he knew just what to do. Bless his kind heart, Stan was an Eagle Scout, and quick on his feet.
Deftly he opened up that door, releasing my finger. Then he looked at my face just long enough to make eye contact, a kind of unsentimental recognition. Nothing pushy from his side, and definitely nothing cheerful.
Instantly my emotions (and facial expression) changed completely. From frozen in cheerfulness. And frozen in denial.
And then baffled by unexpected physical pain…
To a very young woman’s feelings, a girl’s feelings really, the face of a grieving daughter whose tears finally began to flow. And whose face began working again.
Yes, One of Life’s Miracles. For Me.
Because that day in 1973 (approximately) is the last time I have ever, ever tried to act cheerful.
That tiny event — so forgettable to others — is something I’ll never forget emotionally.
Since then I’ve become living proof that a person can have an extremely good life without ever giving a fake smile. Or manipulating a “persona.” Or pretending, ever, to be cheerful.
Friends, give me honest grief any time. Or embarrassment. There’s no shame in vulnerability.
Seems to me, humbling and human emotions like that… are the real opposite of cheerfulness.