Deeper Perception Made Practical

Changing Friendships in The Age of Awakening

Changing Friendships

Changing Friendships. Does it seem to you lately… as though lately your social life is changing as fast as a windmill on a windy day?

Changing Friendships. As in, “What happened to my old friends?”

Social isolation is on the rise for many of us. In a way, that might be a good thing. For now. (To see why, keep reading.)

Overall I’m aiming to bring a fresh perspective — that’s the goal today.

Please know that this article is a Part One of Two. Together, these online conversations may help you improve your social life.

Changing Friendships for Gladys

Blog-Buddies, I promised Gladys I’d write these two articles. Because here’s her tale of surprise and sorrow:

For 20 years, I had a best friend, “Zena.” We could talk about anything.

Right from when we first met, it was special. How we clicked.

Not many things in life were sure. But one thing I was sure of: How we would be friends for life.

Except Zena just ended our friendship. Done. And she couldn’t even tell me why!

Especially upsetting for Gladys? Already she was going through a rough patch socially. Not only didn’t she have a best friend any more. Now she had no close friends. Whatsoever!

Hopefully, Blog-Buddies, you’re not going through such loneliness. But it wouldn’t be at all surprising if you too have had friendships just end. Inexplicably end! Particularly over the last year or two.


Changing Friendships for Nearly Everyone

Sociologists and psychologists could busy themselves studying nothing but:

Worth acknowledging, sure. But here let’s take bring a perspective informed by RES Energy READING and Energy HEALING. My everyday conversations with clients like wonderful Gladys. Who, clearly, would be a treasure for any friend.

So what’s with that zany Zena?

Changing Friendships in The Age of Awakening

In your friendship life, you may aim for business as usual. But your not living on earth as usual.

The Shift into The Age of Awakening changed everything.  Even if Dec. 21,  2012 is long gone. Was widely heralded, back in the day. And even more widely ignored.

We humans have a new vibrational freedom. Struggling to use it. Mostly clueless about  what to do with it.

Each of you, smart Blog-Buddies, are an exception. Insecure though you may sometimes feel, you benefit from living The New Strong. Consequently, you’re not likely to shift, gradually, into:

  1. Spiritual Shutdown
  2. Spiritual Addiction
  3. Or the many socially available ways to get stuck in personal growth. Popular ways that propel unsuspecting folks  into either of these two consciousness lifestyles.

Changing Friendships Because You’re Still YOU

Rejection hurts. Especially if you’re aiming to be friends for life. And you’re still there for Zena. Like Old Faithful.

But Maybe Others Are No Longer Terribly Interested In Being Themselves

What takes precedence? Here are just some of the popular pulls:

  1. Oh, the allure of a cult! Like (pardon my saying) the huge megachurch in your neighborhood “everyone” loves.
  2. Alternatively, consider the allure of the CrossFit crowd. Or anything health-related that’s “so good for you.” Providing instant intimacy due to shared interests.
  3. Check out today’s stats on making marijuana your new best friend. (Even if weed isn’t billed as such.)
  4. One can always make friends just like in “Cheers” — the beloved classic TV series. Starring sexy, funny alcoholics. Not so much the people you’ll really find in bars. More like the kind of people those bar regulars imagine themselves to be.
  5. Even finding consolation in opioids. Amazingly, in 2016 alone… Opioids have killed more Americans than the number of soldiers who died in the Vietnam War.And the number of addicts continues to rise.

You Manage to Avoid All Those Traps But Then…

Zena still dumps you as a friend. And that hurts.

“Congratulations!” I could have told Gladys. Or you, Blog-Buddies, if you’ve been in a similar friendship fix.

Well done, if you don’t have all those instant friends due to previously mentioned Pulls 1-5. Making your tried-and-true friends “disposable.”

Changing Friendships Because of Different Speeds, Growing

Here’s another reason why, on reflection,  you might feel good. Yes, good. About certain lost friendships.

With The Age of Awakening, we’ve got wonderful opportunities for rapid spiritual evolution. (For instance, check out this recent article about a guy who’s  sailed through three virtual reincarnations.)

Gladys is evolving fast. Like you. However, many people are not. Some are dawdling, others deeply stuck. Which won’t necessarily show, unless you learn energetic literacy.

Guess what? Who’s going to be uncomfortable in the following scenario:

Suppose you’re like Gladys. Due to various choices, you have gained a great deal of spiritual awakening in 2017. Integrating it beautifully.  Not having to talk about what you do for your Technique Time. Just quietly doing it. Otherwise talking about the usual topics with your friend Zena.

While Zena doesn’t just talk the same topics. She’s trying to party like it’s still 1980. Or, at least, pursue the same interests. Resisting significant growth. Even if, to her credit, she’s managed to avoid traps like cults and opioids.

So which friend is more likely to dump the other?

Changing Friendships. The Cranky Factor

Zena, of course.

Because Gladys is becoming increasingly big-hearted, powerful, living zestfully.

While Zena can’t help but notice… subconsciously. Since everyone is impacted by knowledge from auric modeling. How our auras tell all… subconsciously.

Although Zena doesn’t want to envy her friend. Or act cranky. She just can’t help herself.

In conclusion:

Please Don’t Blame Yourself for Changing Friendships

Blog-Buddies, please comment below. It’s not wallowing if you share your experiences. The strangeness of being dumped. Or having people you approach for friendship… freeze up in a way that makes zero sense to you.

Changing friendships for those of us in the early, discombobulated years of The Age of Awakening.

How have you handled this?

Share this

Join the Discussion

  1. 1
    Mel says:

    I had a friend who stopped answering my texts.

    I took it personally.

    Someone told me that if I didn’t actually do any harm, there was nothing to regret about my part of the relationship.

  2. 2
    Rose Rosetree says:

    MEL, thank you for being the first to share.

    That “someone” who helped you has a lot of wisdom, seems to me.

  3. 3
    Morgan says:

    Sorry to be contrary, but I’m the one that has become uninterested in socializing since 2012.

    It just seems like so much more work and less and less pay off to find someone you can connect with and enjoy.

    I don’t think I’ve offended anyone in decreasing contact, but you never know. I figured my anti-social behavior was due to health issues (untreated gluten intolerance, heart disease, etc.) This article gives me another possibility to consider.

  4. 4
    Rose Rosetree says:

    MORGAN, what an important and honest contribution.

    Wait until you read our Part Two.

    Thanks for contributing to this Part One.

  5. 5
    Liane says:

    Since 2012 I’ve had three close friends dump me.

  6. 6
    Liane says:

    Those were confusing years for me; being on a quest for spirituality, determined to get to the bottom of what made me tick.

  7. 7
    Liane says:

    Discovering my purpose.

    Opening myself up fully to anything New Age.

    I was very likely in spiritual addiction, didn’t know what anything ’empath’ was, or that auras are real.

  8. 8
    Liane says:

    The friends who chose to leave my life were very dear to me.

    I took it personally, which brought on more unhealthy seeking and questioning.

    If only I could be more spiritual, in tune with The Universe, I’d have all the answers.

  9. 9
    Liane says:

    My goodness, I don’t blame them for leaving.

    What a flake I must have been!

  10. 10
    Liane says:

    The silver lining is that now I’m glad they are no longer a part of my life.

  11. 11
    Liane says:

    Back in the day I would have called them energy vampires, leaving me completely drained after any and all interactions.

    Now I know it wasn’t them draining my energy, it was me constantly doing unskilled empath merges.

  12. 12
    Liane says:

    Still, they aren’t the type of people I want or need in my life now.

    I’m no longer interested in being involved with self-absorbed, always bitching kind of people.

  13. 13
    Liane says:

    I smile when I write this… maybe The Universe gave me a gift after all – by being dumped I was spared having to end the friendships myself.

    ‘Cause I would have.

  14. 14
    Rose Rosetree says:

    Eloquent and honest, LIANE!

    Bet a lot of Blog-Buddies have experienced variations on what you wrote here.

  15. 15
    Gladys says:

    I changed my name more than a year ago and quit drinking alcohol.

    I have less friends than I’ve ever had-that has been hard but at the same time I guess that is part of evolving. I’m sure I’ll make new ones in the future.

  16. 16
    Pseudonyms Anonymous says:

    HI Rose,

    I have already had one friend disappear on me in 2017.

    There are also some that I find more frustrating to be around as they’re so stuck. I think they might find it less satisfying to be around me too.

    Looking forward to Part 2.

  17. 17
    Jean says:

    Great post Rose.

    And thanks to Mel, Morgan and Liane for your integrity filled comments.

    Seems to this Blog-Buddy that all types of human relationships are…a – changin.

    ‘Changing Friendships -The Cranky Factor’ especially spoke to me.

    This post definitely helps me to handle all this without taking it personally.

    Looking forward to part 2!

  18. 18
    Gillian says:

    Great topic!

    I too have lost some friends these past few years – some of them very dear to me indeed, but RES sessions revealed that there were very good reasons to curtail or at least limit the friendships.

  19. 19
    Gillian says:

    Each time it has happened, I have gone through some grief – especially cos I have always had an ‘ideal’ of having a close-knit, longstanding group of friends.

  20. 20
    Gillian says:

    However, like Morgan, lately I have felt curiously okay about watching outdated connections wither.

  21. 21
    Gillian says:

    Even with friendships I have maintained, I have noticed I am much sharper at noticing aspects of the friendship that are not healthy, that I would have previously not have noticed and not done anything about.

  22. 22
    Sophie G. says:

    Such a great blog post and great comments. So helpful to read for many people, I think.

    Brave Gladys – I feel for you. You will find new and better friends soon. Never give up. I have been in similar situations.

  23. 23
    Sophie G. says:

    I feel like I am more ‘ready’ than ever to become friends with people now.

    Being more skilled as an empath and not in spiritual addiction. I find it very frustrating that the world looks the way it does these days!

    Now that I finally am here more fully, not hiding, ready to engage with people.

  24. 24
    Sophie G. says:

    I can very much relate to what you wrote, Gillian:

    ‘Even with friendships I have maintained, I have noticed I am much sharper at noticing aspects of the friendship that are not healthy, that I would have previously not have noticed and not done anything about.’

  25. 25
    Sophie G. says:

    In the past 2,5 years four close friendships have drastically changed:

    I had to break up with my best friend of 12 years. It was a very personal and very honest decision and I have not regretted it once (wow). After I ended the friendship, I felt much more like a free person, like myself.

  26. 26
    Sophie G. says:

    Another close friend of mine broke up with me.

    There was no big fight.

    Today I think there was envy envolved. Also, she was one of the few people who could not handle my name change.

  27. 27
    Sophie G. says:

    Then another friendship (almost) ended:

    We were so close. We had the best conversations. I have never in my life laughed as much, and with my heart, as with this person.

    She has changed drastically. Has become very involved with how she looks and appears to other people, and got addicted to going to the gym. She has become incredibly egocentric. Ignorant.

  28. 28
    Sophie G. says:

    I tried to maintain this friendship for a long time. But it was so painful. Many, many tears. For a long time I somehow blamed myself.

    Rose pulled out an energetic hologram and this made it more clear to me. Still, I tried to hold on to our friendship, until I was ready to let go… But it still hurts.

  29. 29
    Another Gladys says:

    I had a “friend” repeatedly ignore me and when I finally confronted her about it she

    1) denied it and then when I gave examples

    2) she said she needed to pull back because something didn’t sit well with her about me but she couldn’t identify it.

    I had moved into Enlightenment by this time and also made some life changes that were better for me. I thought her behavior was mean and I was upset she was not able to give a reason for treating me like I was on punishment. She later apologized.

  30. 30
    Sophie G. says:

    Then there is the phenomenon of unreliability.

    Another close friend that I have known since I was a teenager.

    So unreliable. Becoming more and more unreliable.

    Can’t say yes or no to meeting up, just ‘maybe’. Then probably making plans with somebody else. Or waiting for the ultimate best option.

  31. 31
    Sophie G. says:

    I am happy you brought up this topic, Rose, and Gladys.

  32. 32
    Sophie G. says:

    It seems like people get lost in many different things these days. Disposable friendships…so very sad ;-(

    I value the people I have in my life today and that are available for real human relationships/conversations very much. They have become less, that’s a fact.

  33. 33
    Sophie G. says:

    Moving to a new city I have made new friends, too. But I recognise the disposability factor and the unreliability factor and that some people just disappear or are a bit (/very) lost within themselves and cannot get out of this strange trap.

    I have often blamed myself for when people ‘ghost’ or ‘freeze’ me, and still do. I want to let go of that.

  34. 34
    Sophie G. says:

    (I don’t know if ‘freeze’ was the right term, haha)

    Here is an interesting podcast about ‘ghosting’ (etc.). It is about online dating and shows how afraid (?) people have become of being real to themselves and others:

  35. 35
    Sophie G. says:

    (I don’t know how well Esther Perel, author and psychotherapist, is doing energetically. She has become so famous…maybe too famous).

  36. 36
    Sophie G. says:

    This is a topic that is very dear to my heart! I think I miss that deepest deepest closeness to others that one only can experience in heaven 😉

  37. 37
    Rose Rosetree says:

    Such magnificent comments here!

    Thanks so much to all who are participating.

  38. 38
    Zeke says:

    Timely blogpost. I’ve cycled through many friends since 2012, some dumping me and I dumping others.

  39. 39
    Zeke says:

    It seems to me, many people are struggling.

    If they’re not affected by one of the above 5 factors, they may just not be doing that well personally / energetically.

  40. 40
    Zeke says:

    I try not to put too much pressure on friendships and relationships.

    I am pretty big into the situational relationships.

    I talk with this guy at the gym, see this guy at the coffee shop, talk business with this girl.

    If those relationships change tomorrow, oh well. People are not fixed statues in a museum.

  41. 41
    Zeke says:

    I had a long time friend lash out at me the other day.

    I would categorize him as partially involved in a self improvement cult. He is sure he’s found the way but is very stuck as far as I can tell.

  42. 42
    Zeke says:

    I was feeling more relaxed and comfortable with myself than ever, really having a good time.

    His annoyance flooded out like a ton of bricks.

  43. 43
    Zeke says:

    Yet it was clear to me that it was his caused by his stuff not mine.

    I was oddly ok with the situation, where I would have been much more upset in the past.

  44. 44
    Zeke says:

    I think many of my old ideals are adapting to our new reality.

    I seem more ok with that now than I have been in the past, because I think I have more clarity in who I am and who I want to be.

  45. 45
    Gladys says:

    I have met with some disappearing friendships over the past years.

    After my name change, after a friend got more invested in alcohol, after I tried to help someone but they chose downward spiral.

    And then there was politics.

  46. 46
    Gladys says:

    A very inspiring friend, who lives at a higher caliber than almost anybody I’ve met, turned out to have the most nauseating political views.

    That’s truly a conundrum to me.

    How she could be so delightful, joyful, grateful.

    But alliances became really clear through recent politics.

  47. 47
    Gladys says:

    I’ve never really expected friendship to last forever. I never came into it with that expectation.

    And friendship turns up in some surprising places.

    Like Zeke put in comment 40.

  48. 48
    Jean says:

    Thanks everyone for these way helpful thoughts!

    Yes like the way Zeke put it in comment #40

    – also Gladys’ comment #47.

  49. 49
    KayCee says:

    Changes, yes! (All types of relationships.)

    Some painful decisions to sever ties that proved to be a loving thing to do, maybe for all of us!

  50. 50
    KayCee says:

    Others petered out.

    Nice surprises, too, like some of you have mentioned.

  51. 51
    KayCee says:

    Taking a more casual, yet selective, approach to relating and I have always, always enjoyed being alone.

    Love Liane’s “no longer interested in being involved with self-absorbed, always bitching kind of people.”

    What a great thread, everyone!

  52. 52
    Gladys says:

    I also had a book group member who stopped coming. She had been very regular in coming.

    She got inexplicably offended by what seemed to me a very mild book.

    But the theme was of growth and a character who chose to grow. To challenge himself to move out of the safe and familiar.

  53. 53
    Kayvee says:

    “The strangeness of being dumped. Or having people you approach for friendship… freeze up in a way that makes zero sense to you.”

    I had both of these things happen with one friend about 2 years ago.

    We had been friends for about 2 years and had been hanging out more.

  54. 54
    Kayvee says:

    When I told her how much she meant to me and I considered her one of my closest friends, the energy immediately got weird and I could tell she was not feeling the same!

    It was such a crappy feeling of rejection and was confusing to me. I was hurt but I let it go.

  55. 55
    Kayvee says:

    Then a little while later an incident happened between our children that made me upset.

    Long story short, her child hurt my child. I tried to connect and make things better, I even ended up apologizing even though I was not the one who should have been apologizing.

  56. 56
    Kayvee says:

    She was cold, rejecting of me, and very clearly wanted to be very much done with me.

    The friendship totally ended, with her acting strange, closed off, emotionless, and me getting no closure at all, and no real feelings expressed, just a totally severed relationship.

  57. 57
    Kayvee says:

    It made me very hurt and upset for a long time, mostly because I just did not understand what had happened.

    It gets easier the more time that goes by but when I think about it it still makes me mad!

  58. 58

    KAYVEE, thank you for sharing your experience. I’ll bet everyone who’s read your comments can relate; I sure can.

    There’s one way your tale does relate strongly to the topic of this blog post, about how friendships can change in The Age of Awakening.

    In one of my books — the one I’d most strongly recommend that you read, if you’re curious about going deeper into benefits from RES — I refer to “Energy Talk.” Namely, how so many of us have become energy sensitive since 12/21/12.

  59. 59

    As a result, we can slip into talk and think in ways that emphasize energies and feelings. Rather than emphasizing objective reality.

    Too much Energy Talk leads to… heartache and confusion.

    If I might mention something about what you’ve written… intended to bring some clarity, not in the least bit to criticize… your comments here are mostly written in Energy Talk.

  60. 60

    For instance, here is a bit of comparison. Flagging some chunks of Energy Talk. As well as some bits of Objective Reality Talk (talking about what people say and do, what happens in objective reality).

    When I told her how much she meant to me and I considered her one of my closest friends, Objective Reality Talk

    the energy immediately got weird Energy Talk

    and I could tell she was not feeling the same! Energy Talk

  61. 61

    It was such a crappy feeling of rejection Energy Talk

    and was confusing to me. Technically, more Energy Talk. As you went deep and deeper inward seeking to understand.

    I was hurt Energy Talk

    but I let it go.Energy Talk

  62. 62

    What am I getting at here, sweet KAYVEE?

    Especially since The Age of Awakening, you could say there are two kinds of people. Those who speak about objective reality and those who — in their beautiful search for meaning — speak about energies and feelings, as if that were objective reality. (It isn’t.)

  63. 63

    Let’s say that your ex-friend is one of the people who mostly spoke Objective Reality Talk. While you, without meaning to particularly, were speaking in Energy Talk.

    Very typically, the friend who speaks Objective Reality Talk will drop the friendship. It’s too frustrating for a person who has a different way of relating to life. Although the person who speaks Energy Talk is fluent in both “languages” and has no problem with those who speak Objective Reality Talk.

  64. 64

    Undoubtedly, KAYVEE, there were additional complications. And you summarized some of them in the rest of what you shared, this time, so far, at my blog.

    However, if you reread what you wrote, it was loaded with Energy Talk.

    In Objective Reality Talk, what happened? From what you described, it was this:

  65. 65

    Translated into Objective Reality Talk:

    You told her that you considered her a close friend.

    She did not consider you a close friend.

    So she didn’t respond in words to what you said. (Pretty understandable, really.) Her silence spoke volumes. Although you kept trying to interpret that silence. Trying to make it mean anything but what it meant.

  66. 66

    It does hurt when friendships end without closure. Fairly often, in RES sessions, after facilitating STUFF removal, I help my client to put in some missing social skills, such as how to get closure when a friendship is ending.

    I do hope that you find a way to get closure, other than sharing your story. Although the Oprah culture tells us that sharing our pain heals people, I don’t find that to be true. Sharing one’s pain brings a few seconds of relief, but really it’s like scratching a rash.

    In general, it’s better to get effective help, RES being just one resource. And also it could be good to learn this social skill of how to get closure after a friendship ends. (BTW, I don’t teach it at the blog. That’s personal, and belongs in personal sessions.)

  67. 67

    Here I’ve responded at length to something very personal — highly unusual. Partly it was because I loved the raw honesty of your comment, KAYVEE. Also, I saw this as a teachable opportunity for not only you but this entire blog community.

    Can some of you readers relate to this idea I’ve developed here about slipping into Energy Talk? If so, I’d recommend you consider reading “The New Strong.” Because it’s loaded with practical skills for balancing your energy sensitivity with your desires for friendship and success. Plus understandings that you’re unlikely to find elsewhere.

  68. 68
    Zaybe says:

    Hi Rose.

    About energy talk and friendships: this morning I met a friend for coffee.

    I’ve been feeling upset because I didn’t get an interview for a job that I would have loved – it researched fantastically in a RES session and I put 1000% into my application.

  69. 69
    Zaybe says:

    So I told my friend about this.

    She was very sympathetic, and said, “Things happen for a reason,” and “it’s just not meant to be.”

  70. 70
    Zaybe says:

    Oh, such comforting, foolish statements!!

    I thought, ‘Yeah, the REASON is that the other applicants were better qualified/had superior experience to me – that’s the REASON!!’

  71. 71
    Zaybe says:

    This friend is actualy very savvy about the job market and is an excellent advisor when it comes to writing job applications, so it’s not that she’s got her head in the clouds about life.

    But it’s amazing how even someone sensible like her can resort to superstitions!

  72. 72
    Athena says:

    Feeling very lonely recently. Rose, remember the friend you researched and told me was in spiritual addiction? that friendship ended badly.

    I wish I researched her before all that investment.

  73. 73

    ZAYBE, that does sound upsetting.

    But consider: When we’re trying to comfort somebody we care about, often we shift into thinking about our belief system. Whether it’s associated with a formal religion or, as seems to be in the case of your friend, into New Age Spirituality.

  74. 74

    No, you don’t share her belief system. Yet, to her, perhaps she told you the most sacred thing you knew.

    Consider, even though you don’t share that belief system, in hindsight you might love her all the more. Because she reached deep down into something very personal and meaningful (to her), sharing something that she truly hoped would console you.

  75. 75

    ATHENA, I remember vividly. I was very proud of you, and I still am. Because, as you say (in psychological language that I’ll paraphrase) in your Comment #72, you had a very close friendship.

    No doubt, you loved her deeply and expected that friendship to last. Yet if you had continued, something would have had to give. Probably you’d have adopted her beliefs, forced yourself to, and then moved into spiritual addiction as well.

  76. 76

    Might I recommend this blog post, written to help for finding resolve?

    Hope it strengthens yours. Including finding the strength and optimism to help you pursue new friendships, ATHENA.

  77. 77
    Athena says:

    Thank you Rose

  78. 78

    You’re welcome, ATHENA. You keep moving toward happiness.

    That’s why I’m not worried about you.

Click here to comment ...

Leave Your Comment