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Unhelpful Goals. Puzzle-Quiz Included

Unhelpful Goals

Unhelpful Goals. “Oh no, I thought my Goal Piano was supposed to play only beautiful music.”

Unhelpful Goals. Let’s face the discordant music. Some goals might actually hurt you more than help. Success repellents!

Curious about which kinds of goals to avoid? That’s the purpose of today’s article, which comes complete with a fun four-part quiz.

Here’s perspective, based in my experience helping RES clients gain success.

RES means “Rosetree Energy Spirituality” for short. But, as one of my clients pointed out, it could equally mean “Really Effective Skills.”

And “success” means personal growth. Or making more money. Or self-actualization. Alternatively, anything else you  mean by “success.”

But You Might Be Shocked to Learn…

How some goal-setting could take you in the opposite direction. Opposite to whatever version of success you’re aiming for. Yes, success-repellent!

Today’s post begins with a second powerfully self-actualizing client.He’s given me permission to quote him here. Accordingly, I’ll call him “Joe.”

Unhelpful Goals

Blog-Buddies, here’s a challenge for you. Please read through the following sequence of goals. Aiming for clarity, I’ll number each chunk. Thus, helping to facilitate our conversation with your comments below. Also at the follow-up article.

  1. A goal that resonates with me is to gain a large helping of self-confidence. To have all the confidence I need (and then some!) to live from this day forward unafraid to experience my whole human life.
  2. Unafraid to live up to my fullest potential in every area – emotionally, spiritually, physically, talents, abilities, relationships.
  3. To be so sure of what I want, or don’t want, there will be little time lost on things that do not propel me forward.
  4. Deep breath : ) Why a deep breath?  Because now that I’ve written out my goal, it’s too real to deny.  I can’t un-hope, un-think, or un-write it.  Deep breath…… I have lots I want to accomplish in this life!

The Big Puzzle with Unhelpful Goals

  • Do these goals simply seem sweet to you? (My first reaction.)
  • Or could every one of these goal-chunks slow down personal growth?

Please comment below.

In our next post, “Goals Part 2,”  I’ll share my perspective. As someone who cares a great deal about helping people to self-actualize. Witness this list.

Actually, this June I’m giving an in-person workshop to help people like you. To. Gain. More. Success.

It’s tempting to think, “All goal-setting is beautiful. Guaranteed to work.” However, if you’ve been thinking that way, please get involved in today’s Puzzle-Quiz. Comment and share WHY you think these goals ought to work.

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Join the Discussion

  1. 1
    KayCee says:

    I am very interested in this discussion. Feeling not-so-certain these days so, for now, can only add that these broad-sweeping goals remind me of the time I prayed for patience, which I will never repeat! 😉

    Also, it seems that implementing them would lead me into numerous types of things that count as technique time – multi-tasking, evaluating, and detachment to name a few.

    Looking forward to hearing more.

  2. 2

    Thanks to you, KAYCEE, this conversation is off to a good start.

    BTW, would you please share with us, if it doesn’t seem too personal… What happened after you prayed for patience?

  3. 3
    KayCee says:

    It was long ago, but this is the gist of it: I did not receive the gift of patience as hoped for, along the lines of being handed sweetly over on a silver platter. I did, however, experience increased challenges and serial unpleasantries that, ultimately, taught me to be patient.

    I’m humbled again just writing about it!

  4. 4
    KayCee says:

    I happen to be applying patience today in a few areas, reinforcing that ‘learning it’ is more a choosing of it. Toggle-on type thing.

    The choice brings a type of ease that is also found when choosing activities in my human reality.

    I’m still getting the hang but it’s wonderful to let go of complicating everything until I’m worn out.

  5. 5
    Joe says:

    Reading this, objectivly, it’s becoming clearer why the goals are not only lofty, they are not in my best interest.
    Which is a relief. Who can live up to this?

  6. 6
    Joe says:

    1. Who gets to get through this life unafraid?
    2. See comment #1. Also, this sounds like a set up for failure.
    3. This could be a self-made trap for spiritual addiciton

  7. 7
    Joe says:

    4. ‘Can’t’? Sounds like the beginning of a broken record, to be played in my head from here on.

    Blinding me to the possibility and potential of change.

    No room for humility or compassion for the very human life I was hoping to ‘propel forward’.

  8. 8

    KYCEE, you did just make me laugh out loud: “I’m still getting the hang but it’s wonderful to let go of complicating everything until I’m worn out.”

    Yes, less STUFF, more you.

    And thanks for responding to my question.

  9. 9
    Mel says:

    When your intention is to have less of anything (like fear in this case), in trying to move away from something, rather than towards something, you keep it in your life.

    I think Rose has written about how she guides people during sessions to set intentions that are positive/toward-motivated.

  10. 10
    Mel says:

    Also, it seems like what could really help a person have more of the qualities listed here is to have less STUFF.

  11. 11

    JOE and MEL, I think you’ve made great points here.

    Makes me wonder, would any of you Blog-Buddies like to share success stories about following through on personal goals?

    And what about the consequences of striving for goals that were harsh or overly idealistic? What happened? Also, did that leave you feeling better about yourself?

  12. 12
    Mel says:

    I set a goal to build my discipline which I defined as doing things when I don’t feel like doing them.

    It sounds nice but putting it in that particular way made me reluctant to start. I had to choose a more motivating goal.

  13. 13
    Mel says:

    I really just wanted to accomplish more. And I found resources to help me with just that.

    Like the pomodoro method (also called the 15 minute method), where you just plan to act on a tough task for 15 minutes and then afterwards evaluate whether you want to keep going.

    I usually do. And when the task asks so little of me I always feel like doing it and right away. This helps me be productive with the level of discipline I do have, but that’s not the goal.

  14. 14

    MEL, you’ve added perceptive comments. Please be aware, though, about something tricky about the Pomodoro Method. Granted you know a lot more about it than I do. However, it does seems to me that there’s a problem with this part: where you just plan to act on a tough task for 15 minutes and then afterwards evaluate whether you want to keep going.

    The part I highlighted might not have to be considered necessary. Assuming that you did mean EVALUATE. Not simply CHOOSE.

    That sure might count as Technique Time. Can any of you Blog-Buddies comment on why that might be?

  15. 15
    Mel says:

    Oh, yes! Whoops. I meant choose. It’s a momentary thing. I decide between a break or continuing.

  16. 16
    Dana K says:

    These goals aren’t measurable in objective reality.

    Also all the self monitoring would surely be technique time overload. And the last one means zero adapting as you go along, but sometimes you set a goal and need to change it as you grow.

    Not moving the goal post so much as throwing out what isn’t a fit.

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