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Enlightenment, Five Years In. Guest Post by KYLIE

Enlightenment Five Years In

Enlightenment Five Years In. A moving, honest, inspiring guest post by KYLIE.

Did you think that personal growth stops after Enlightenment?Just the opposite. With Age of Awakening Enlightenment, you choose your goals and pursue them… As someone using your full potential in life.

In today’s guest post, Blog-Buddy KYLIE describes what has changed for her. Five years in!

Prepare to read an exceptionally honest account of one woman’s personal growth. Spiritual growth. Sexual transformation. And, altogether, very individual growth.

Enlightenment, Five Years In.

What Happened During Year One?

When Rose first validated that I was in Enlightenment, I was gratified but mystified.

That whole first year my attitude was, what’s the big deal about Enlightenment?

I’m happy and I enjoy my life, what’s so spiritual about that?

It’s not like anybody around me even noticed.

The major thing I knew at that point was that my life of often dramatic ups and downs… Had become a life that was much more steady in happiness.

Bad things could happen, but nothing seemed to stick. I still had plenty of challenges but also an eagerness to take them on.

Enlightenment, Five Years In? Quite Some Changes!

Now five years in, Enlightenment has deepened so much.

Have they been the happiest years of my life? Not always!

I’ve gone through some very difficult experiences on my path.

At times I’ve thought, “Enlightenment, schmitenment. What good does it do me?”

But over the years my capacity for joy has increased to a level I never knew was possible.

My enjoyment of life is so much deeper, a relish for life that I feel in every cell of my body.

Enlightenment, Five Years In: Virtual Reincarnations

I’ve been through multiple virtual reincarnations. 

What this means, as I understand it, is that many of the karmic setups for my original life are no longer in place.

As Rose explained to  me, certain things are set–like my basic body and life experiences and my identity as a soul. But everything else is negotiable.

As she said:

  • If I were to go to a family/old friends reunion every year, every year people would go, Huh?
  • And maybe not even recognize me.
  • If I choose a human goal, I can probably attain it.

Enlightenment, Five Years In. Such a Contrast!

Thinking about some of my past identities, when I was growing up…

I was identified so deeply with family angst. Once a friend in college drew a caricature of me. She drew me with glasses and a big chest and a thought bubble over my head that said, “My family is so f-ed up.”

It was affectionately meant, but wow! That was my identity.

I was so hung up in the pain of my family past. And bound in by so many limitations. I had karma I couldn’t budge. No matter how hard I tried, I could not succeed.

I was an unskilled empath. Heavily burdened with other people’s pain, I had no idea who I was. And I accepted many limitations as life long realities.

Long Before Enlightenment, Identifying as a Lesbian

As a college student I found a new identity as a lesbian. It was like a second chance to move past limitations.

It helped me to escape many mental cages and expectations for gendered behavior that had limited my life.

For many gay and lesbian people, they know their orientation from the time they were children. This was not the case for me. Attraction for other women came late in life, in my twenties.

It is not that it wasn’t real. And I’m very happy that I allowed myself to explore that possibility for my life. But in hindsight, I can see that, at bottom, I was grasping at a way out of my personal prison of pain.

As Rose has said about some people who decide to transition from male to female, or vice versa, sometimes people can latch on to their gender identity as the main problem in their life. When in reality they are in pain because of “STUFF.”

For almost 20 years I identified as a lesbian, even though I never had a girlfriend (or a boyfriend either) during that time. In those years, as Rose said in a session, it was as if I had a huge auric “Keep out” sign over me that everyone could perceive. I can see how identifying as a lesbian was my best way to protect myself and move forward in my personal growth.

Enlightenment, Five Years In. No Longer a Lesbian

Through sessions of Soul Energy Awakening Hypnosis®, I have moved out so many frozen blocks related to traumatic experiences with men.

Now, after so many years identifying as a lesbian, I find that I have attractions to men.

At first this was pretty distressing to me. It really messed with my identity.  I worried that I was going against my soul’s purpose.

But what I think now is that it is just the nature of virtual reincarnation. I will experience many lives within this one lifetime. And there is no point in hanging on to experiences that you are finished with.

I absolutely do not want to suggest that this is the truth for other gay and lesbian people. I do not believe that at all. It is a sacred and beautiful path, and it was my path for many years. But my path has changed again.

Enlightenment, Five Years In. Physical Transformation

One of my intention focuses in personal growth lately has been “enjoying my body.” As with other goals I’ve taken on after Enlightenment, progress has been lightning fast.

Recently I’ve lost 10 pounds, going on my first ever diet. And I’ve developed an active and fit lifestyle. I started wearing makeup, dressing much better, and paying attention to my appearance.

For the first time in my life, I feel attractive and really enjoy the experience of living in my physical body.

Enlightenment, Five Years In, So Much Is Possible

There are many things I have desired in life that I previously thought were impossibilities for this lifetime:

  • Having a partner who loves me
  • Being attractive
  • Slow dancing with someone I love
  • Wearing Size 8 pants
  • Being good at sports
  • Wearing a dress that looks good on me
  • Looking good in a photograph.

Now I know all of those things are achievable.

Enlightenment, Five Years In. The Lively Friendships

Another big change involves friendships. For many years between college and my life now, I had almost no friends.

I was a deeply social person whose biggest interest in life, and many talents, are related to connecting with other people. But my personal life was a desert! I substituted watching television and reading books for having connections to other people.

As a librarian, I have read thousands of books in my life, and watched thousands of movies.

I have always identified with my mind.

Suddenly I find, I’m just not interested in either activity anymore. I don’t want to live vicariously through other people.

(Interestingly enough, I remember making this goal in high school. Even then, I knew the direction I wanted to aim towards.)

I realized with shock this year that instead of reading my usual 100 books this year, I might only read 5. And I’m all right with that.

Now I have a deeply fulfilling social life, blessed with many wonderful friendships.

In my work life, I went from a reality where I always had an awful boss who I was afraid of, and I worked really hard with no reward or notice, to a reality where I am a respected and admired professional, who works together with my administration to achieve goals that I set, helping to bring needed services to the community.

By Now, If I Had to Die… I Would Die Happy

Although there are many things I want to achieve, if I were to die now, I would die happy.

I don’t have a bucket list.

If I die single or if I die broke, it doesn’t matter.

My life is a glorious adventure.

I am fully engaged in life, enjoying the process. And I am of service to the world through my auric modeling and my actions.

I am excited about future goals–such as finding a life partner, making money, learning energetic literacy, becoming an RES practitioner, and helping to bring RES into the world.

But there is a feeling of wholeness and fulfillment to my life as it is here and now.

In Conclusion

In enlightenment, when you choose a human goal, you can probably attain it.

And something I now understand — this is spiritual.

It makes me so happy when friends from the blog reach Enlightenment. Because I know now that it is a big, big deal for all of us.

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Join the Discussion

  1. 1
    Valerie says:

    This was wonderful to read Kylie, thank you for sharing!

    For me, and it sounds like for you as well, RES is and has been a life changing gift 🙂

  2. 2
    Katriina says:

    Kylie, this is so beautiful it has made me tear up.

    Thank you for giving us this glimpse into growth within Enlightenment.

  3. 3
    Katriina says:

    I especially like your conclusion, that having and attaining human goals is spiritual.

    Thank you again for sharing!!

  4. 4
    Tatiana says:

    Thank you for sharing, Kylie! I found it very inspiring ❤️

  5. 5
    Graham says:

    Great post, Kylie! I enjoyed reading it, thanks for sharing.

  6. 6
    Explorer says:

    Wow Kylie… Your life journey is so inspiring and exciting. Thank you for sharing.

    Your strength and passion comes through your words. So sooo happy for you.

    Here is to making the best of our lives?

  7. 7
    Julie says:

    Wow, Kylie, great post! You are such a model of transformation (someone who knows how to change!) and vitality.


  8. 8
    Catherine says:

    Kylie, thank you for sharing about your experiences and perspective in enlightenment.

    I really enjoyed this post, and it gives me hope and resolve to keep living my human life as best as I can 🙂

  9. 9
    Mandeep says:

    This was so inspiring to read Kylie, thank you.

  10. 10
    Catherine says:

    I can relate to sooooo much of what you wrote (but not the parts about being in enlightenment)!

  11. 11
    Isabella C. says:

    Awesome, Kylie! Thanks for writing this.

  12. 12
    Chloe says:

    Kylie-wow! I am so inspired. Thank you for sharing.

  13. 13
    Kathleen says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story Kylie – it’s truly inspiring!

  14. 14
    Gabrielle says:

    Aww, Kylie. Such inspiration for me today! Your life sounds like one great adventure that you’re taking full advantage of.

    I’m excited about setting some new goals for myself! Your words added the right spark to get me going 🙂

  15. 15
    ksparks says:

    Thank you everyone!

    I just realized today it has actually only been 4 years! It was December of 2014, I think, when I moved into Enlightenment. Sorry, math is still not a strong point!

  16. 16
    An Avid Reader says:

    Hi Kylie,

    Thanks so much for sharing this. So incredibly inspiring and moving!

  17. 17
    Liane says:

    If this had been in a book instead of my screen this is one of the sentences I would have highlighted, “I am fully engaged in life, enjoying the process. And I am of service to the world through my auric modeling and my actions.”

  18. 18
    Liane says:

    Wow, Kylie! You just spoke to everyone who thinks our Big Purpose in life must involve some grand plan, when the truth is our purpose is quite simple.

    Beautifully said, thank you. Best of life to you.

  19. 19
    Gavin says:

    Thanks for sharing Kylie. Inspiring and empowering!

  20. 20
    jane says:

    I could read this over & over again Kylie . . .this is so beautiful to read . . . Thank you for sharing . . . There’s a beautiful, comfortable strength in your words – it’s inspiring & deeply heart warming.

  21. 21
    Sophie G. says:

    This was so beautiful to read.

    Deeply touched.

    Life is not perfect, but an adventure worth living.

  22. 22
    Sophie G. says:

    Thank you Kylie. ?

  23. 23
    Jesse says:

    Great post!

  24. 24
    Logan says:

    Thank you for writing and sharing your experiences and wisdom with us Kylie, I was very moved.

    I am grateful to have such an inspiring person like you to be with us.

  25. 25
    Morgan says:

    Thanks for sharing!
    I always thought sexual orientation was a genetic thing and couldn’t change.

    But you think it has something to do with a virtual reincarnation? Food for thought!

  26. 26
    Kylie says:

    Thank you everyone.

    Your comments really touch me.

  27. 27
    Kylie says:

    Morgan–about your question I really don’t know.

    For some people I think that sexual orientation will never change–but to me that doesn’t mean it’s genetic.

  28. 28
    Kylie says:

    I would guess it is more of a soul level agreement.

    “In this lifetime I will be gay, and have blue eyes, and be born to these parents” etc.

  29. 29
    Kylie says:

    But I’ve always thought sexuality is on a spectrum anyway, with some people leaning completely one way, some people completely the other way, and other people at various points in the middle.

  30. 30
    Kylie says:

    Technically, I’m probably bisexual. And I certainly wouldn’t rule out falling in love with a woman in the future.

    It’s just that at this point, my position on the spectrum seems to have changed.

  31. 31
    Kylie says:

    It’s a touchy issue for many, whether it’s a choice or not.

    I always saw it as a choice, and a very good choice.

  32. 32
    Kylie says:

    But I know many other people who believe it is not a choice at all, it is about how you are wired.

    And I think that is probably very true for some people.

  33. 33

    Funny thing about calling desires and behaviors “genetic.” Whether about sexuality or otherwise.

    Seems to me, saying “It’s genetic” is really today’s way of saying “fate.” As in, “I had no choice. This was a meant-to-be for my life.”

  34. 34

    For many people, life is all about genetic determinism. Or religious versions of determinism.

    This was especially true during the Age of Faith, in which all of us were raised.

    “Man proposes, God disposes” is my favorite quote from that era.

  35. 35

    By contrast, many of you Blog-Buddies may share my belief in free will. During this still-new Age of Awakening, free will is especially powerful, compared to before the Shift into The Age of Awakening.

    But free will is powerful only when you use it. You could say:

    Free will is available when fate isn’t so strong as to make free will impossible.

  36. 36

    Those who say, “Born that way.” Or “It’s my karma.” Yes, they’re right. They gain serenity.

    And so are those of us who prefer to choose. We emphasize making our karma, rather than paying it back. And we’re also right. We struggle more, perhaps, but maybe we also accomplish more.

  37. 37

    Personally, I look at things this way. Actively choosing my goals and pursuing them, I believe strongly in free will.

    Yet disappointments arise, of course. And what I cannot achieve… that’s what I call “karma” or “meant-to-be.”

    How about the rest of you Blog-Buddies? How do you balance free will and determinism?

  38. 38
    Kylie Sparks says:

    Wow, Rose! That is really profound.

    I always wondered why I was so anti people finding “genetic” determinants for everything. It really is today’s way of saying that something is fate.

  39. 39
    Kylie Sparks says:

    And something that has complicated the issue with sexuality, is that many people believe that being gay is only ok if it’s not a choice, if it’s fate.

    And I think that is so screwed up. What a beautiful free will choice it is, whether of your soul before birth or during life.

  40. 40
    Jean says:

    Wow…. thank you Kylie for this post.

    Insightful, helpful and inspiring. Made my morning to read this. Will be re-reading 🙂

  41. 41
    Jean says:

    Thank you everyone for your great comments.

    And of course….thank you Rose!

  42. 42
    Lindsey says:

    Thank you so much for your post Kylie’s! I love what you share about “lightning fast” progress with goals you make. I’ve found that to be true and satisfying.

    I am fascinated about your discription of virtual reincarnations, I definitely see how I’ve probably had a few of those before Enlightenment and again afterwards, for sure at least one.

    I just haven’t really thought about it or really understand what the term meant until Rose brought it up in a session once and then you explained it so easily here. Thanks! It helps to hear your story and perspective. Congratulations for five years in also! That’s awesome!

  43. 43
    Emily Turner says:

    Thank you for this Kylie! This is so inspiring to me.

  44. 44
    Lilian says:

    Thanks Kylie. Totally agree with comments 36-38. So many interesting riddles when you start thinking about karma, fate and genetics…

    Personally, I think that if it’s hard to understand how karma and actual fate works, it’s probably best not to factor that into your thinking too much.

  45. 45
    Lilian says:

    Anyway, it’s interesting to see how many big changes were made after Enlightenment.

    It makes me feel as though there is really no hurry for even the “obvious” things to fit into place.

  46. 46
    Sandra Haering says:

    Your post is inspiring and moving, Kylie! I am very blessed to have you as a friend!

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