Friend Urgency. Blog-Buddies, today I’m sharing with you my ideas about one of the sweetest things I know, although I’ve never heard anyone mention it before as a thing.
I’m sure you’ll recognize what I’m talking about. And so you can comment here afterwards. Have you ever heard anyone else’s name for this? Or have you made up a name of your own?
Friend Urgency. First of All, Context
Last blog post, you read a bit about being a preemie. And maybe you were shocked to learn that at least 1 in 10 babies is born prematurely. Even if friends haven’t told you their birth stories yet, very likely you know a lot of us preemies.
In the conversation that followed at our last post, Christine’s Comment #4 brought up the idea of problems with attachment. Hardly unusual, is it? Many psychologists draw a straight line:
- From not being touched even once by your mother
- to being alone for days or weeks or months after birth
- to finding it hard, later in life, to reach out and touch others.
- Figuratively and maybe also literally.
Personally, I’m not a big believer in…
Attachment Problems Linked to Birth
Probably because I know about an up-and-coming specialty in personal growth known as RES. With an array of effective skills for rapid and permanent energy healing.
But also because of the grownups I’ve know who are preemies. Right off the bat, I think of:
- LIANE, a beloved Blog-Buddy and client. From our sessions together I know her as someone with tremendous, and appropriate, closeness to people and animals. Despite a bunch o’ karma she lived through early in life! LIANE is even in Enlightenment, for crying out loud! Securely attached to God by now, beyond the degree of closeness that most humans experience… pre-Enlightenment.
- My sister AMY, who will be familiar to you if you’ve read my “preemie memoir.” For decades she’s been happily married, and couldn’t love our extended family more, including her son. (He does make that easy. I’m very fond of my nephew TOM. Just check out his Facebook group.) Altogether, a complete list of my sister’s attachments would be very long.
- Likewise a sweet friend from my TM days, PENNY: Loving and long-time married, for sure.
Attachment Problems? Of Course We Can Solve Them
At least, if we want to.
So many resources are available to help people grow emotionally! Besides, each of us has the immense power of free will! It’s ridiculous to think that any premature birth must become a kind of life sentence about insecure attachments.
And yes, I know that preemies suffer. Along with pretty much every other humans on the planet!
As the founder of RES, I’m convinced that biology isn’t destiny. And, given the power of RES Energy HEALING Skills, I don’t believe in so-called “formative years,” either. Stuckness is more a matter of STUFF than of destiny. And STUFF can always, always, always be healed. Therefore…
Preemies Can Develop Friend Urgency
Just Like Anyone Else
Today I want to celebrate the opposite of attachment problems. And, yes, I’m flagging a healthy kind of connection, essential for personal growth. I’m calling this …
Friend Urgency. What It Is
Having friends is wonderful, isn’t it? Sometimes a bit of heaven while we’re living here on earth. And have you ever noticed a delicious feeling of urgency about talking with a close friend?
Sometimes you feel “I’ve got to tell Joe.” There’s an almost visceral need to share important details of your life, particularly when something big happens.
Or you’ll be talking with your good friend Gladys and she shares something that matters to her. You have the privilege of listening, caring, supporting.
Thus, it goes in both directions — friend urgency that you have to confide and also friend urgency coming back at you.
Even a short conversation or email exchange and you’ll feel “Ah! I needed that.” And suddenly everything’s all right. More right than before.
Close friends need each other. Maybe as much as food and water and sleep and sex or any other very human need. Long as we’re human, may we always have friend urgency!
Friend Urgency. When You Have to Drop Everything Else
Yes, haven’t you sometimes felt urgently that you just had talk to that close friend? Soon as possible. Until then, you just wouldn’t feel complete.
And yes, I can assure you from personal experience… This even happens in Enlightenment.
After connecting, you feel that unique relief. Friend urgency satisfied!
To Be Clear, Friend Urgency Isn’t Weird
Here I’m referring to an appropriate need for closeness:
- Not 20 texts an hour.
- Not codependency.
- Just having special times when you want to talk to your friend. Or your friend reaches out to you. And you need that.
Circumstances don’t have to be dramatic. (Although they could be.)
Mainly, it just feels good to have that friendship, to share the latest, to be there for each other.
And if that friendship ever ends, as some friendships must, we’ll grieve.
Thank God we care that much, that it hurts so deeply when a close friendship ends!
Personal growth comes from recovering, rather than taking the fatalistic view that “Time heals all wounds.” Why passively wait for 20 years. Honestly!
Eventually we can move on. And even make two good friends for every one that we lost. Hey, an enormous potential for abundance is inherent in human life; eventually we can find it again. But long before then, we get by with a little help from our friends.
Friend Urgency Is So Beautifully Human, Isn’t It?
Yes, it’s human to make ourselves vulnerable in that way. Needing a friend. Reaching out. Trusting.
Very characteristically human, wouldn’t you agree?
Because we humans are made to be caring. In The New Strong you can read in detail about how you were socialized to be a human adult. Humans are kind of like bimbos and himbos, actually — given how much we must dumb down… in order to adjust to human vibrational frequencies. And yet we remain caring.
(Yes, I describe that in detail in The New Strong. And yet it isn’t a depressing book, not by a long shot. Far too practical for that, and even inspiring, I’m told.)
Here’s the bottom line, Blog-Buddies: Caring about others — needing others — is the glory of human life.
At least that’s how it seems to me. How about you?