Deeper Perception Made Practical

Punishing Smart Kids

Punishing Smart Kids

Punishing Smart Kids. Doesn’t really make sense. Or does it?

Punishing Smart Kids. As an RES practitioner, I have specialties, and this is one of them: Helping clients who are very smart. And who have suffered as a result.

Because extreme intelligence is a great blessing. Fair or not, this can become as challenging socially… as if the person were extremely un-intelligent.

Whatever the personal specialties of any RES Expert, each of us is helping clients with personal growth. And sometimes that includes permanently moving out energetic STUFF we still carry from childhood.

Bullying Vs. Punishing Smart Kids

Bullying is one of the themes in my memoir, Bigger than All the Night Sky. At least for a while…

Many of you Blog-Buddies may find the memoir inspiring for that reason. If you’ve been bullied, you know that getting over it can take years. But of course you can.

Loads of articles on bullying, and probably loads of books, include the theme of bullying.

However, what’s also quite common but less often written about. At least, directly…

Being treated badly due to being a bit extra-smart. Or precocious.

Punishing Smart Kids. Happens a Lot

Even though you won’t often find references to being punished for intelligence, guess what? It happens a lot.

Already in today’s post I’ve mentioned this Helping Smart Clients as one of my specialties.

And that includes pointing out exceptional intelligence for clients who haven’t a clue.

As an unusual example, here’s the story of my client Joe. Raised in a family of super-high IQ father and brother, Joe had no idea how smart he was. Despite being one of the smartest (and wisest) people I’ve ever known, when we first began doing RES sessions he considered himself to be “the dummy.”

Far from true! Helping Joe to discover his magnificent intelligence was one of so-many delightful experiences for me.

Other Specialties that I’ve Developed over the Decades

Certain patterns have emerged since I began doing RES sessions in 1986. Here are some of the Rose Rosetree specialties that come to mind:

  • Empaths. (No surprise there, right?)
  • Preemies. And others who had a rough start in life.
  • East Meets West People.
  • All Dedicated Spiritual Seekers.
  • Especially Spiritual Seekers on a Path of Renunciation. Or living half Renunciation, half householder.
  • Floaty People. Meaning folks who don’t feel particularly embodied as physical human beings.
  • Writers and Other Creative Artists. Including those with writer’s block. Or the equivalent.

Punishing Smart Kids. A Theme in Bigger than All the Night Sky

Head’s up to you smarties reading today’s post. Punishing smart kids isn’t a major theme in my memoir.

However, you may enjoy some parts of the story that you’ll relate to.

Maybe bringing you some much-needed compassion. For instance, here’s an excerpt from Chapter 10. Just a tiny tale from second grade.

Punishing Smart Kids. Thanks, Teacher 😉

Between classes I still have lots of fun, but during classes, oboy, my teacher treats me like some kind of troublemaker. Every day in this classroom, what happens?

She’ll ask a question and up goes my hand instantly. Only does she call on me? Almost never.

Even though I try raising my hand different ways, the patient way with my hand sticking up like a tree, and plenty of other ways; even the exciting windmill way where I shake my hand at the wrist, going faster and faster and faster. None of it matters. How come she doesn’t like to call on me?

Except one day she does, asking me to come over her desk. Then she talks to me about my bad behavior with being impatient and raising my hand so much; and I can’t help but cry a little, although trying not to, and finally I look right into her eyes and ask her, “Why won’t you call on me?”

A wise look comes onto teacher’s face then, a look I’ve seen on her face many times, like she’s holding a tiny smile inside her lips; it’s her special teacher face about being grownup and beautiful and good to every single child. So teacher makes that face for me now, and then she starts talking in a funny voice, as if she has practiced in advance which words she will use.

“You must understand. You are not the only child in my classroom. I must give every single child a chance to answer my questions. So when you try to answer more than your share, I must ignore you in order to teach you a lesson.”

Oh, how I wish for an older brother sometimes, so he could help me to know which lessons I’m supposed to be learning. Preferably in advance, not after I have made mistakes without knowing better; worst of all is being treated as though I should have known everything all along.

Excerpt from Bigger than All the Night Sky, published just this year.

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  1. 1
    Emily Turner says:

    This speciality of RES has definitely helped me in this regard.

    I have also had teachers recognised I was very intelligent and decided to take the approach of ignoring it and/or me.

  2. 2
    Emily Turner says:

    I have even had sessions where I found out that the teacher was trying to intimidate me into making mistakes in front of the entire class on purpose, to take me down a peg or two.

  3. 3
    Emily Turner says:

    Being given the label “gifted” as a child is no help if the adults around you don’t actually help you!

  4. 4
    Mel says:

    I once had a teacher in the 4th grade who didn’t like me for some reason.

    How did I know?

  5. 5
    Mel says:

    Once, she took what I had said wildly out of context, sent me to the principal’s office, and told me that everyone around me agreed with her that that was what I said.

    My family and I had to finally go over her head when she started grading my papers with poor grades, with comments on my “mistakes,” mistakes that were plainly not there. Getting my cord to her removed has been on my list.

  6. 6

    Thanks for what you’ve shared here, EMILY TURNER and MEL.

    It would be fascinating if you’d share some of what you’ve learned from these experiences. Apart from paying the price.

  7. 7

    Of course, that theme of paying the price goes for every aspect of one’s individuality in a lifetime. During those early school years:

    Some of us paid the price for exceptional intelligence by being misunderstood. Or targeted by students or teachers (or both) who were jealous.

  8. 8

    While some of us paid the price for being slower than others. What a terrible feeling, to be left behind. To keep grasping and missing.

    How long will it take to discover what else you are good at? Because everybody is good at some kinds of intelligence more than others.

  9. 9

    Meanwhile others of us paid the price of average intelligence. Maybe knowing enough to be accepted by the group, even winning popularity points.

    Yet it could sting, realizing that other kids were always more creative, or faster at learning, etc. Besides, for a kid who’s good at fitting in, how much must be sacrificed in order to keep fitting in?

  10. 10

    Because if you don’t think that everyone pays the price, you might never notice kinds of pain you’ve never had.

    Just one example, from the early school years. An example from a kid who does fit in, has comfortably average intelligence: How often will that kid scapegoat somebody else, just because that’s what “everyone” does? Yet inside, that child might be awake enough to feel a terrible pang of conscience and, with that, habits of hiding.

  11. 11

    Earth School is a tough place for every human being. And, sometimes, maybe it’s extra tough if you insist upon emotional and spiritual growth.

    Blog-Buddies, it would be wonderful if more of you would share your stories of not fitting in during your childhood. About what you learned — in retrospect, at least. And about the treasure for which you were paying the price — understood in retrospect, anyway.

  12. 12
    Brittany says:

    C’mon everyone, just dumb yourself down!

    It works.

  13. 13
    Brittany says:

    Totally kidding.

    That has helped me get by, but it’s pathetic that we need to come up with workarounds instead of finding acceptance.

  14. 14
    Brittany says:

    My son is extremely intelligent. It’s wonderful to somewhat “re-parent” myself while helping him succeed.

    So far, I haven’t had issues with his teachers “taking him down a notch,” etc. and I hope that continues.

  15. 15
    Erica says:

    I don’t know if it was about intelligence, but I found myself in a number of situations in my childhood where I struggled to really connect with my peers or where, in the specific example of my church youth group, I was outright ostracized for no apparent reason that I or the adults around me could grasp.

    I wasn’t particularly ‘weird’ and I wasn’t unpleasant, I just didn’t ‘fit’.

  16. 16
    Erica says:

    The specific gift my church non-buddies gave me was that my religious affiliation wasn’t so woven into my sense of self and close relationships that it hurt to let it go at an appropriate time.

    I just drifted off from church at a pace that worked for me and no one really noticed.

  17. 17
    Erica says:

    More generally, I think the gift has been that I know how to be on my own, to please myself and to make choices with only my own counsel.

  18. 18
    Misfit says:

    As a child I did not fit in with my class as I was the more intelligent (context is a small country school) so was often waiting for others to catch up, bored at times, and always paired up (and desk attached to) my cousin who was slower.

  19. 19
    Misfit says:

    He teased me constantIy for being smart. I was also the only girl in class with short hair so I was the tomboy that the boys never pushed on the swings.

    The gift? Still figuring out what that is.

  20. 20

    Oh, MS. FIT, Though you can’t find those gifts yet, I know you can. And not by minimizing the suffering you went through, either.

    Perhaps we could devote an RES Energy HEALING session to this. Already, having read just this bit, I hope you don’t mind my mentioning. Already I find that childhood playground, swings and all, contains several diamonds… all for you. Yes, really.

  21. 21
    Erica says:

    Oh, and one other thing! It makes me SUPER grateful for the close and fulfilling social relationships I’ve developed as an adult 🙂

  22. 22
    Misfit says:

    Absolutely Rose I’m up for a session around this.

    I value the truth so much. Looking forward to digging in. I forgot to mention my nickname as a child from others (including an adult) was “Ho Ho” as I was Chubby-so you get it. Lots to heal lol.

  23. 23
    Mel says:

    What I’ve learned from my unfortunate experiences with authority figures who wanted to take me down a peg or misunderstood me for some reason is:

    It’s not personal and adults (who are usually “supposed” to be mentors to a child like me back then) are flawed.

  24. 24
    Mel says:

    I mean, all of it feels personal because they’re doing wrong to ME but it’s based on some image in their mind that bares little relation to the reality of who I am; so how could it be personal?

  25. 25
    Mel says:

    And I learned very early that the Adults who supposedly know better than we kids did are flawed. They told us children that they knew what’s best for us better than we did.

    However, they didn’t in every circumstance so I learned to start relying on myself. I’m sure you’re all familiar with this phase, it usually happens in adolescence. I may have had it a little earlier than that thanks to the fallible adults in my life.

  26. 26
    Tracey says:

    When I was in second grade, I had worked very hard at home to learn to write my name in cursive which I proudly displayed on a worksheet at school and handed in.

    My teacher held it up in front of the whole class as an example of inappropriate behavior, We were to print our names not use cursive as we wouldn’t be taught that until next year.

  27. 27
    Tracey says:

    I was mortified. Once home, my mother who had been a teacher and was trained in teaching gifted children assured me that I had done nothing wrong.

    That my teacher had a narrow view of what her students should do in class and didn’t know how to expand it and that there are many people in the world like that.

  28. 28
    Tracey says:

    I am sure she talked to my teacher. She wasn’t one to let these things go.

    It was the first of many lessons in how to gauge the room so that I could become more effective in dealing with people.

  29. 29

    Awesome you’all!

  30. 30
    Emily Turner says:

    Hmm what I’ve learned… I know I’ve learned a lot… but it still feels like it was a price to pay!

    For example, learning that the adults around me were immature, fallible and couldn’t be trusted… helped me to learn to rely on myself, think long and hard about decisions (perhaps too long) and (eventually) seek out help from reasonable people as far as possible.

  31. 31
    Brittany says:

    I was booed in front of adults and the entire school at an awards assembly after my name was called up for “yet another award.”

    Boy did that knock me down!

  32. 32
    Brittany says:

    I’ve not thought much about the gift of this up til now.

    I don’t feel like I would’ve ever had the idea to search for something like RES if I didn’t have this brain though!

  33. 33
    Brittany says:

    Without that experience, I may not have even realized just how intelligent I really am.

    To me, it was just me.

  34. 34

    EMILY TURNER, it was a huge price to pay, surely. Yet you volunteered.

    And it seems to me you’ve done a superb job of learning, as noted in your Comment #30.

  35. 35

    Here’s a saying that I use to comfort myself as the need arises:

    If you volunteered to teach at Earth School, don’t be shocked to you find that you’ve landed in a kindergarten.

  36. 36

    BRITTANY, my gosh, what an oucher!

    I do agree with that lesson you found, as summarized in your Comment #32. Actually I doubt that a single RES client or student or reader of this blog… got through childhood smoothly. In my experience, no flattery intended, people who respond to RES are unusually smart and also quite spiritually awake.

  37. 37

    That combo matters. Recently I got to chatting with a woman my age, a fellow New Yorker, who’d worked in publishing and teaching. Clearly intelligent!

    I thought she might be a kindred spirit, or at least a potential buddy. Only guess what happened? At a certain point in our conversation, the topic of my memoir came up. She asked to hear the title.

  38. 38

    “Bigger than All the Night Sky,” I told her.

    Well, Lordy! She looked as if I’d just poured an exceptionally icky bedpan all over her head. A fascinating quality of disgust, really!

  39. 39

    As you can imagine, since then I’ve replayed that part of our conversation several times.

    How bizarre! I hadn’t even told her the subtitle — “The Start of Spiritual Awakening. A Memoir.” Gack, had she heard the whole thing she might have fallen to the ground, retching.

  40. 40

    BTW, at this point I’d like to give a shout-out to you, BRITTANY, for your inspiring and generous review of my memoir. Seven months after publication, it still has received only five reviews, total. So, on a personal note I’ve got to say, “Thank you for being exceptional.”

    Unlike your school principal, teachers, students and, evidently your parents, I like it when people are smart. And also spiritually awake.

  41. 41

    Incidentally I’d also really, really like it if more of you Blog Buddies would review my books. Not just that inspirational memoir but also “Empath Empowerment in 30 Days” — which isn’t just an update of “Become the Most Important Person in the Room.” It’s an upgrade, and so it could be helpful than you might assume.

  42. 42

    Likewise I’m waiting for reviews to come in for “The Empowered Empath — Quick & Easy.” Although it’s got a larger crop of reviews than those last two.

    One of my Amazon “reviewers” lambasted me for repeatedly calling readers “Dear Ones.” A term I never used once in that book. How do I know definitively, without checking a single page? Because I reserve that title for astral entities. (How funny is that?)

  43. 43

    And if you’re at Amazon, just search under some of the books for empaths that have loads more reviews than mine. Like “The Empath’s Survival Guide.”

    Or check out “Empath: 16 Simple Habits To Protect Yourself, Feel Better & Enjoy Life Even If You Are Highly Sensitive: Secrets To Thrive As An Empath.” Yes, that’s the title, seriously.

    Check out what books like these offer. Really think it’s better than Empath Empowerment®? Because readers who browse “how many reviews up at Amazon” will sure get that impression….

  44. 44

    Okay, please forgive me that rant. Back on topic, I was very curious about Gladys’ instant reaction of utter loathing and disgust.

    Fortunately I was able to get my hands on a current photo of her. In order to solve this mystery, all I had to read was one chakra databank. Can you guess which one?

  45. 45

    Gladys’ Third Eye Chakra Databank for Connection to Spiritual Source: And it was pretty darned stagnant and totally shut down.

    Here’s a point that can help us all: Plenty of highly intelligent people may strike you as highly sensitive and very spiritually awake. Until you learn to stop equating them. (And yes, I’m still learning this one.)

  46. 46

    Energetic literacy skills can help you get to the truth of a person. In this case, specifically, research:

    For intelligence, Solar Plexus Chakra Databank for Intellectual Growth
    For sensitivity: Root Chakra Databank for Connection to Objective Reality
    For spiritual awakeness: That Third Eye Chakra Databank for Connection to Spiritual Source

  47. 47
    Ethan says:

    My guess Rose is that you read her third eye databank for connection to spiritual source. In shutdown?

  48. 48

    You win, ETHAN. You win and you rock.

  49. 49
    Brittany says:

    I think we all could’ve guessed what Gladys’ chakra databanks looked like, but thanks for reading and sharing. ?

    And thank you, Rose, for inspiring me every day of my life. I’m actually reading your memoir again. AND, I’m actively studying RES, so please buy the memoir everyone. My review is really just the tip of the ice berg about the inspiration you’ll get!

  50. 50
    Liane says:

    Such great comments! Especially Rose’s comments #8 and 9, the area I most relate.

    And have paid the price for.

  51. 51
    Liane says:

    A side note — went to Amazon and left reviews for every book written by you that I have bought and read. I appreciate the much needed reminder!

    Truth is I have two of each, one for my kindle and one in hard copy. There are two or three in the rotation at all times.

  52. 52
    Liane says:

    Right now I’m almost through Empath Empowerment in 30 Days.

    Thank you. Especially for Emotions Day and Spiritual Awareness Day. I’m on round 2, as recommended in the book.

  53. 53

    LIANE, congratulations on all you’re receiving from those resources, written to be practical resources to help people grow.

    And thank you for passing the help forward by writing reviews at Amazon.

  54. 54
    Explorer says:

    I used to not have a voice of my own. Feeling so strong deep down yet like Joe in the article considered myself like the “the dummy”.

    After so many shut downs, I remember purposefully giving wrong answers so that the others would get it right and feel good about themselves.

  55. 55
    Explorer says:

    Circumstances of not having a proper outlet to express myself, I used to very much so live in my head. All the time.

    Analytical thinking my way through life and see things from many different perspectives. But never believed and so mostly alone by myself.

  56. 56
    Explorer says:

    Eventually all the struggles helped me to seek more internal validation rather than others. Setting my own worth and living in my truth even if its not seen or supported.

  57. 57
    Explorer says:

    I must admit, the very first time I’ve ever felt truly seen and heard was with you Rose. You acknowledged my true essence which gave me courage to strengthened it more and keep going.

    The more (social) skills I learned from you, the better and easier it got.

  58. 58
    Explorer says:

    I’ll be using your guideline in comment #46 often. Thank you:)

  59. 59

    What an eloquent saga of triumph and growth, Explorer! I’m so touched.

    Also, I’m curious. Have others of you Blog-Buddies dumbed yourself down in school? If so, what were the consequences that you noticed from doing that? And how did you find the strength to emerge into speaking up freely?

  60. 60
    Emily Turner says:

    I’m a bit embarrassed but I did dumb myself down at school at times.

    I remember taking the SATS at 12 and knowing that girls weren’t supposed to be good at maths, I didn’t study for the maths portion, preventing me from taking advanced maths based courses later on in summer school.

  61. 61
    Emily Turner says:

    These were the American SATs not the English ones…

    Another time a Spanish teacher dumbed down my essays as she said “it would look too suspicious” to submit it to the exam board as it was too advanced.

  62. 62
    Emily Turner says:

    Oh and another time, my philosophy teacher made me change my conclusion in my essay as “we hadn’t got to that part of the syllabus yet” .

  63. 63
    Gabrielle says:

    In regards to dumbing down, I purposely misspelled a word so I wouldn’t be in the running for a school spelling bee. There weren’t many people left still participating and I knew the last few standing would advance to the next level.

    I took myself out from advancing. I think my teacher knew I misspelled the word on purpose and kept moving on to the next word. The kids in the class actually pointed out to the teacher that I got it wrong.

  64. 64
    Gabrielle says:

    Essentially, I just quit by not giving my best effort.

    In one way I was able to hide a bit longer, but at the same time I didn’t feel good about it.

  65. 65

    Such wonderful shares here, GABRIELLE and EMILY TURNER!

    Might I ask that you add the most impressive detail of all: Thinking back now about those dumbing down experiments — including the one instigated by your Spanish teacher, EMILY — what did you learn?

  66. 66

    Loving these stories.

    Emily, the situation with that Spanish teacher, how atrocious!!

  67. 67

    And poor Gabrielle at the spelling bee!

    I was always really good at spelling too, and I remember wishing we would have a spelling bee at my little private school. But we never did.

  68. 68
    Zaybe says:

    I don’t think I dumbed down my intelligence while at school (or at university), as I enjoyed getting good grades and having the respect of the teachers.

  69. 69
    Zaybe says:

    But later in life I began to doubt whether I was intelligent, because I was having so much trouble finding my way in life and getting ‘a good job.’

    It was as if that phrase, “If you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?” was aimed at me :).

  70. 70

    Ha, one more good topic for a personal session, ZAYBE.

    For everyone, please consider that spiritual Earth School is structured with many illusions, and this “Smart = Rich” one is among the most vile. Everyday discernment about people, what they do, and how their intelligence flows… with a total random relationship to their wealth… can help you to start busting up that loathsome bit of maya.

  71. 71
    Misfit says:

    The cousin I mentioned that I was always paired up with-he couldn’t even draw a stick figure.

    He is wealthy today and I am not lol. That bothered me as I always expected more from myself but that maya is breaking up starting now. Thanks Rose!

  72. 72
    Morgan says:

    Ironically, I think I was made to be “dumb” because I was so beautiful. I think my family felt it unfair that one should get both benefits if they didn’t get both. It’s amazing what people can make you think of yourself if the message is reinforced often enough.

    What did I learn? A painful cost of beauty, being the target of other people’s firmly held belief and how hard to overcome the forced identity (thanks Rose for the “Healing Outgrown Facades” technique), and family does not guarantee love/support/safety.

  73. 73
    Emily Turner says:

    Hmmm what did I learn… (comments 61-62) I think I learned that I needed to stand up for myself and advocate for myself. That people who are supposed to be doing what is best for me… aren’t necessarily doing that and to pay attention to what they actually say and do.

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