Deeper Perception Made Practical

Attractiveness, Sexiness. Why You Like Someone’s Looks

Attractiveness, sexiness, beauty, handsomeness.

Attractiveness, sexiness, beauty, handsomeness. Secretly, aren’t we all looking for that? But where will we find it?

Attractiveness, sexiness, beauty, handsomeness. For so many reasons you might like or dislike somebody’s looks.

Partly, I’m dedicating today’s blog post to the two different Blog-Buddies. Each one noticed a throwaway comment I couldn’t resist making. Over when researching the aura of “handsome Javier Bardem.”

Namely: I may as well admit this right here, Blog-Buddies… Personally I don’t consider this man to be either handsome or attractive.

And I invited you folks to ask my why not. Both CONSTANCE and DIANA said yes to that opportunity.

So, okay, I’ll answer. Not to overshare but maybe to start you’all sharing about what you consider attractive.

Partly, I’m dedicating today’s blog post to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The holiday in his name doesn’t happen until Jan. 21st. But of course he comes to mind in this context. I’ll be getting to that…

And for heaven’s sake, let’s consider your preferences. Not just mine. (Feel free to COMMENT accordingly.)

Attractiveness, Sexiness, Beauty, Handsomeness & Demographics

You might be attracted to a movie star, or find that person sexy, due to:

  • Age
  • “Race” — increasingly, so-called race is a myth in our melting pot world.
  • Class or wealth markers — showing in teeth, grooming. Also, of course, clothing choices scream social, social, social.

Is that a factor for me? Such as when beholding the splendor of Javier Bardem (photographed at any age)? Not really.

Attractiveness, Sexiness, Beauty, Handsomeness & Favorite Colors

Maybe you only like brown hair. Blonde hair. Red hair. Blue hair.

Same with eye color. Many folks have a definite preference. As in the cliche, “Tall, dark, and handsome.”

Javier belongs to that group, by association.

Don’t we often group together something else physical plus a color something and respond to that? Like “Young + dark = good-looking”? etc.

Except I really don’t. Personally, my gut reaction has always been, “Who cares?”

Just about every variation on the artist’s palette for humans can appeal to me.

Attractiveness, Sexiness, Beauty, Handsomeness & Sexual Characteristics.

Is the person of interest well shaped? Especially as the kind of male or female or whatever person we prefer?

Might certain physical parts matter a great deal to you?

Maybe part of Bardem’s appeal is his heavy beard, his bushy eyebrows, the lavish supply of hair on his head.

Not to me, though. Because when I get an actor-crush, or consider an actress gorgeous, it’s not because I plan to have children together.

So when I find a person attractive, it’s got to be due to something(s) quite different.

Attractiveness, Sexiness, Beauty, Handsomeness. Deeper Perception Might Count. Sometimes.

Have I sometimes used Technique Time to research a celeb? Definitely. Yesterday, for instance.

Frankly, though, it’s rare for me to like somebody and then find that person’s aura a grave disappointment.

That’s because:

  • People with excellent Stage 3 Energetic Literacy
  • Also wind up getting superb Stage 1 Energetic Literacy
  • Whereas people who just depend upon Stage 1 Energetic Literacy. (And are proud of their prowess.) Tend to over-estimate the accuracy of what they find. (To put it politely.)

For inspiration, consider RES Practitioner ISABELLA CATES. Like other RES Experts, sometimes she just astounds me with her ultra-perceptive comments. Such as her observations about a renowned opera singer in Comments 19-20, here.

Moreover, ISABELLA wasn’t using Technique Time. She’s just developed such wisdom through Deeper Perception! Like her, you can develop Aura Reading Skills and/or Empath Empowerment® Skills. Automatically, you’ll become amazingly accurate as a judge of character.

As the founder of RES, I might have a bit of that working on my behalf as well. Like KYLIE’S comment at yesterday’s blog post: “Even in the photo of him as a young man, he looks detached and blasé, something I don’t find attractive.”

Attractiveness, Sexiness, Beauty, Handsomeness. What I Value, Humanly.

In order for me to find someone attractive, I’ll notice qualities and abilities that I value in people. Like these:

  1. Honesty
  2. Integrity
  3. Sensitivity
  4. Kindness towards others
  5. Thoughtfulness towards others
  6. Interest in personal growth
  7. Caring about God
  8. Courage
  9. Intelligence — even better, also wisdom
  10. Sense of humor

With all respect to Javier Bardem and his legion of fans… From the first time I’ve seen him… Using just Stage 1 Energetic Literacy, I didn’t notice a single one of these qualities.

So why would I find him attractive?

Attractiveness, Sexiness, Beauty, Handsomeness. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Said It Best

 I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

You see, Blog-Buddies, I also have a dream. That all of us will one day live in a world where we can see through illusions. And when encountering other people, we’ll be interested in who they are. How they grow. What they care about and why. Not just their cute little animal bodies.

And good character is possible for anyone. So many people today live that way. Including many who are living in spiritual shutdown. Or spiritual addictionNote: To get to the best part of that second link, scroll down to the turquoise box.)

Altogether, the people who interest me most are taking advantage of human potential in this new Age of Awakening. And they won’t let anything stop them, as they choose personal growth + spiritual awakening. Aiming to be of service to others, as well as actualizing themselves.

Does that attract me? For sure!

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  1. 1
    Mel says:

    I find that the beauty in someone’s facial features isn’t really a factor in whether or not I crush on someone. I think if a guy has an appealing personality (intelligent, great sense of humor, etc.) how he looks doesn’t factor in to my feelings.

    Guys that I maybe wouldn’t have considered when I was a tween (because they don’t look like Disney stars) are now way more interesting.

  2. 2
    Mel says:

    If you want to you can find the beauty in anyone’s face by identifying those features that you usually find attractive, everyone’s face has them.

    I do that sometimes, I’ll think: “My brain isn’t registering this person’s face as beautiful, but you know what? I guess I could still identify how someone else might see this person as beautiful.”

  3. 3
    Diana says:

    I would love for your dream to come true Rose! What a world this would be.

  4. 4
    Isabella Cates says:

    Thank you for writing this, Rose. (And I don’t mean the compliment, but thank you for that too!)

  5. 5
    Isabella Cates says:

    I really like your list of qualities.

    Most people receive no explicit training on how to choose a person to date or marry or whatever. As with many things, most are left to their own devices, cobbling together impressions from parents and TV. And then dating whoever turns up. There is such a huge skills gap with this these days.

  6. 6
    Isabella Cates says:

    Here in the US, culturally we’re on the far swing away from the arranged marriage model.

    I detest the thought of arranged marriages, so I think that’s a good thing. And it seems sweet to me, in a way, how we want everyone to be free and have what they want.

  7. 7
    Isabella Cates says:

    But free for all we have now is also a mess.

    (A much better mess, I would argue! But still. It’s painful and unstable for people.)

  8. 8
    Isabella Cates says:

    What I hope for is that culturally we maintain our freedom and autonomy to choose partners and set our own criteria.

    While also having developed knowledge to rely on regarding HOW to set that criteria, what’s important, what not to rely on (like not relying on where hormones drag us, and not letting early hard lessons set expectations for the rest of the life). There is definitely room for knowledge and training in how to select someone to marry.

  9. 9
    Diana says:

    Isabella-thank you for those amazing comments- So true all of it.

    I was recently speaking to an old acquaintance, he is my age (late 30s), and he is enjoying a promiscuous lifestyle with very young girls-because he can. I am choosing for myself to gain those dating social skills to find a wonderful partner who is into more than just looks/age.

  10. 10
    Astrit says:

    Is it ok to be an empath and super shallow at the same time? this is embarrassing. But WHAT I find attractive is nice curves, nice behind, good front, beautiful smile and eyes, long hair and face.

    The clichès. Notice the chronological order? I think I`m starving abit after being in a long relationsjop.

  11. 11
    Astrit says:

    WHY: it makes me think im going to have alot of fun with them in bed. Lord give me a super shallow boring women for once with super nice body and face, so I can see through that 1. Stage impression, Amen! T

    he perfect woman for me would be a combination of Roses list + good looking all the way.

  12. 12
    Emily Turner says:

    I love your list Rose. It’s really helpful to stop and consider what kinds of qualities would be suitable for a partner.

  13. 13
    Emily Turner says:

    Isabella is so right, we don’t receive training on this.

    And I think any information that comes from the media (i.e. newspaper columns, advice column, tv and film tropes) are actually on the whole confusing and unhelpful.

  14. 14
    Emily Turner says:

    I think for myself, I am just grateful I’ve been able to have RES energy reading sessions to assess potential people to date (and saved me heartbreak and lots of trouble).

    I think keeping a list like this in mind as a first step would help me be effective at identifying suitable partners in the first place.

  15. 15
    January says:

    I did find it rare that any of the male celebrities who are on the ‘hot’ list were attractive to me. Also at school and growing up, the guys who were supposed to be the cute or hot ones were rarely the ones that I developed crushes on.

    Reading this post helps me to make sense of that. I think I’ll go read the auras of some of the ones I DO find really attractive now.

  16. 16

    Thanks so much to all of you who have been commenting. With one exception, each of you conveys a certain excitement, curiosity, and self-respect.

    Only fair, since you do have the right to play here at Earth School, enjoying what attracts you in a date or mate at this time. Nobody’s going to judge you for that, at least not here in my blog comments!

  17. 17

    But it seems to me that there is one exception so far, you ASTRIT, and your Comments #10 and 11.

    When you describe yourself as “starving a bit after your last relationship,” I can’t tell if your last lucky lady had the standard physical attributes and she got you hooked on that. Or whether she had other attributes and all along you felt cheated. One could feel starving either way, right?

  18. 18

    So long as you’re in a relationship by mutual consent, where’s the harm in experimenting? Many a person — male or female or whatever — straight or LGBTQ etc. — needs to explore.

    Experimenting doesn’t make you shallow, it makes you smart.

  19. 19

    As for being an empath, please don’t think of that as a limitation dictating which person you can like or love. Personally, I’ve probably always been attracted to empaths. But many an empath isn’t. I could name loads of RES clients who are in relationships with — or married to — non-empaths.

    Just do yourself a favor, ASTRIT, and hook up with a human adult who gives consent. You’re allowed! So go, make yourself happy.

  20. 20
    Abby says:

    Visceral attraction and visceral revulsion may be best discussed together if only because there are more than a few revolting people, some with aesthetically pleasing, highly symmetrical faces, who use charismatic “bits of attractiveness” to mask their awfulness.

  21. 21
    Abby says:

    Sources of attraction for me: sense of humor, high intelligence, kindness, good smell.

    Sources of revulsion: deceit, manipulation, cruelty (even low-grade, casual cruelty), bad smell.

  22. 22
    Abby says:

    Even the most powerful attraction is negated by revulsion factors, once I’m able to cut through the layers of charisma and perceive them clearly.

  23. 23
    Abby says:

    To me, these attraction/revulsion characteristics are the essence of how someone “looks.”

    I don’t see physical features in isolation from personality (I’m not sure any of us does, especially on this blog!) and aesthetic particulars of hair color, eye color, etc. have little to do with what viscerally attracts me.

  24. 24
    Anchie says:

    Wow. Yet another thought-provoking post written with such clarity and insight!

    Thank you, Rose!

  25. 25
    Anchie says:

    For the first time, I feel as if I have finally met people who feel the same as I do about this!

    In their attempts to “assist” me with my love life, my friends have often prodded me to find out what kind of physical characteristics I am “looking for” in a man.

  26. 26
    Anchie says:

    And, I have never been able to answer them, because like Rose said above, “Who cares?”

  27. 27
    Anchie says:

    I have sometimes wondered why I do not respond with the same zeal to celebrities that my friends are attracted to.

    Am I just a fuddy duddy? (Haha)

  28. 28
    Anchie says:

    Well, it’s the beauty of who someone is inside that captivates me!

    I absolutely love the list of characteristics Rose put forth. Now I must work on my Stage 3 Energetic Literacy skills…

  29. 29
    Fonzie says:

    From that list, intelligence and kindness towards others have been what I found most attractive in a partner.

    However I would be more than happy to find all 10 things listed in a potential romantic partner. Maybe that’s hoping for too much?

  30. 30
    Fonzie says:

    It’s hard enough finding someone who has just 2 or 3 of those qualities on a dating site.

  31. 31
    Fonzie says:

    I was excited to read that as a consequence of developing good stage 3 energetic literacy skills, you also develop good stage 1 energetic literacy skills!

    That’s fascinating to me, and shows me all the more reason why gaining these skills can help you find a quality partner!

  32. 32
    Fonzie says:

    Yes yes yes to your comments, Isabella. I agree there’s lots of room for growth and training in finding an appropriate partner for oneself in our society.

    That’s something I aim to improve in personally.

  33. 33
    Constance says:

    Such a beautiful list, Rose. Qualities for me to actively keep in my mind for the next time I seek out a romantic partner. Integrity was the one most important to me on the list.

    I’m going to continue working on my Stage 3 Energetic Literacy skills. I love the fact that my Stage 1 Energetic Literacy skills will grow more perceptive in the process.

  34. 34
    Constance says:

    Isabella, you’re so right. We could definitely use some training in how to go about finding a suitable partner!

  35. 35

    Another round of great comments, insightful and fascinating! Thanks to all who have been contributing here.

  36. 36

    When it comes to receiving training, guess what? Very often, in RES sessions I combine Mentoring (training) and RES Energy READING and RES Energy HEALING.

    Nothing could be more individual. So book a personal session when you’re stuck in your pursuit of a love relationship. Or if love troubles are on your mind.. Very likely I can help.

  37. 37

    Fascinating opinion piece today in the Washington Post. Elizabeth Bruenig has written about the Loneliness-Industrial Complex and how people seek “family” through YouTube videos and podcasts.

    As a regular reader of this blog, you know this: These pastimes are energetically empty. Long term, they can’t satisfy, because we gain no energetic holograms. Yes, if you’re lonely, it’s not your fault. But I would love to help you, one session at a time, to find ways to connect to others. Be the lighthouse!

  38. 38
    Zaybe says:

    Great post, Rose.

    I love your list of qualities, love it.

  39. 39
    Zaybe says:

    I spent most of my teenage and young adult years baffled by how people around me could fancy celebrities or singers or good-looking people, just because they were good-looking.

  40. 40
    Zaybe says:

    Back then, I was so not interested in how people looked that I didn’t even notice a person’s skin colour.

    Or if they were wearing glasses.

    Or what they were wearing. Nothing.

  41. 41
    Zaybe says:

    I zoomed straight in on their qualities.

    (Nowadays I hope I’m living more in reality than I used to so I DO notice objective details! But they sure are far from important in terms of whether or not I find someone attractive!)

  42. 42
    Isabella Cates says:

    Loving the fascinating comments here!

    Though so many of you are anonymous I’m learning some very interesting things about all of you! 🙂

  43. 43
    GEORGINA says:

    So many smart insights! Thank you, everyone.

    Rose wrote, “Personally, I’ve probably always been attracted to empaths.” I had been longing for the special closeness and understanding that (healthy) empath relationships can offer, while projecting my hopes onto others for years. Result: being attracted to a string of Mr. Wrongs. Like Zaybe, RES is helping me to live in reality more, notice objective details and *actual* inner qualities about people.

  44. 44
    GEORGINA says:

    Nowadays, I’m quicker to register dissonances between a flashy outer appearance and lacklustre inner values.

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