Empowering Relationship Choices. Maybe I can help you with that, prompted by a shocking article in today’s Washington Post.
Not that this particular article intended to be shocking…
Here come some excerpts. I’m curious if they will shock you too. And, if so, WHY.
Empowering Relationship Choices. Totally Shocking, to Me!
In today’s Health Section, Harriet Brown wrote about estrangement. As in choosing to cut off relationships with family members.
In the lede, she wrote this:
Ten years ago, after decades of bitter fights and lukewarm reconciliations, I finally got the courage to cut off my mother completely. Our relationship brought me nothing but nuclear-level angst. After even the smallest interaction — an email or text message — I’d have panic attacks that lasted weeks. I’d stop sleeping, eat too much, fall through a wormhole into utter self-loathing.
Deciding to estrange from my mother wasn’t an easy decision. For me, as for most people, it took an exchange so toxic, so far outside the boundaries of what’s acceptable, that something snapped inside me. My older daughter had been very sick with anorexia and my mother emailed me to say her illness was my fault and I should be grateful she was telling me this because it showed she loved me. But I was done with her.
Sure that shocked me.
Empowering Relationship Choices. Why Did She Wait So Long?
Good Lord! What was Ms. Brown waiting for, murder?
- Panic attacks that lasted for weeks?”
- Nuclear-level angst?
- Wormhole of utter self-loathing?
- Blaming a mother for her child’s terrible illness?
Because the estrangement doesn’t shock me one bit. What horrifies me is how long it took Harriet Brown.
Empowering Relationship Choices. Turns out, Making this Choice Is Quite Common
Quite common, really. Can you guess how common?
“The most recent research suggests that up to 10 percent of mothers are estranged from at least one adult child, and that about 40 percent of people experience family estrangement at some point. “
Personally, I expect the numbers to increase over the next few decades.
And my goodness, I sure hope that people give themselves permission to do this. To choose estrangement with relatives doesn’t require that you hang out until there’s huge drama.
You have every right to downgrade unpleasant family relationships. Plus, I do think it’s becoming a trend for two reasons. Both involve humanity’s elephant in the room. Which is, of course, that now we’re living in an altogether new era on earth, The Age of Awakening.
- Here’s a resource for you at the blog to learn even more about living successfully in The Age of Awakening.
- And here’s a book-length resource. Perhaps the most influential book I’ve written yet.
Look, I know that you may not think often about the Shift into this Age of Awakening. So far, I know of only one magazine article that has described it. Apparently the media continue their 24/7 news coverage without a single mention. Although humanity has lived in this new era since 12/21/12.
Understanding some of the seismic changes can help you to have a much, much better life. As in removing unnecessary guilt about family estrangement!
Empowering Relationship Choices. Goodbye, Old Rules. Hello, New Rules
One benefit of reading “The New Strong” is to wrap your head around a big-deal concept.
During previous years — and centuries, and millenia — human beings cherished seven rules. Socially and culturally, we needed to follow these rules in order to be a good person.
What was Old Rule #1? Do Your Best to Do Your Duty
You know, even if it nearly killed you.
By contrast, what’s New Rule #1? Choose What Makes You Happy. (But Also Remember to Do Your Duty.)
Such a subtle shift of emphasis! Yet there’s a world of difference, for instance in evaluating family estrangement.
Back in the Age of Faith, you stuck to your family. It was “the right thing to do.” And, as beautifully — if painfully — described by Harriet Brown, you could only end a family relationship if it nearly killed you.
Hello, we really, really don’t need to live that way now. Especially because of another important change in what some folks call “The Aquarian New Age.”
Empowering Relationship Choices. Now We’re Evolving at Very Different Rates.
Basically, we can grow as fast as we wish. Pursue self-actualization. Gain spiritual awakening. Loads our of choices add up now.
Used to be, family members mostly had similar consciousness. And if somebody didn’t fit in, the choice was stark.
- Either go into hiding, while otherwise behaving “properly.” Unfortunately, that often meant concealing important things about your personal needs (such as homosexuality, agnosticism, etc.)
- Otherwise, you’d let family members know. Then they would drop you!
But now it’s very common for family members to evolve at different speeds. Choose spiritual shutdown, for instance, or not. (Scroll down to the purple box at that last link in order to find juicy details.)
Are you skeptical about family members growing faster or slower? Just think of those tense holiday dinners ever since the start of the Trump administration! Or since the Brexit referendum. Etc.!
It strains credulity, really. Am I the only one to have head-slapper moments over this?
Oh, I don’t think so!
What shocks me most about Harriet Brown’s excellent article? (Yes, I do recommend reading it all.)
Justifying Choices Only in Terms of Survival!
By contrast, you regular readers of this blog know that RES exists to help people grow emotionally and spiritually. We’re self-actualizing. Fitting right in with The Age of Awakening.
And we’ll use RES Energy READING Sessions and RES Energy HEALING Sessions to help us make wise relationship choices.
By comparison, folks who choose family estrangement may suffer for years from guilt and self-doubt. My heart goes out to all those caught between humanity’s new values versus how we can live better now!
Because I happen to know many of you Blog-Buddies have learned how to improve certain relationships. Maybe not feeling so obligated to be “polite even when in your dreams.”
Whereas others of you have discreetly down-sized relationships with family. Or even proudly (and wisely) chosen estrangement from family members.
Please add to this discussion if you can. As this blog continues educate readers with up-to-date perspective on how to have a good life in this Age of Awakening. A self-actualizing life without wormholes!