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Willpower Upgrade. Get Your FREE Will Working!

Willpower fans remind me of people who treat their dogs like royalty, far more important than mere human beings

Willpower. That’s what so many of us turn to.

Why? Because we’re stuck and we know it. Meaning well, we reach conclusions like:

  1. I’ve “got” to push myself to take that exercise class.
  2. If only I had more discipline, I’d practice my guitar every day. I should use my willpower. Otherwise, I’ll feel so disgusted with myself.
  3. Control my temper! I must do a better job at that.

Do you ever worry that you lack enough willpower? In this article you’ll learn about alternatives. What works far better than controlling yourself?

First of All, Willpower Is Highly Over-Rated

Recently, Blog-Buddies, we’ve been considering how Collective Consciousness influences us. These ideas are entrenched in society. Becoming, figuratively, like ruts in a road. And literally like go-to habits in our own subconscious minds.

Finding the “need” to use willpower is hardly an original thought.  Like over 19 million hits I just got, googling “Use More Willpower.”

No wonder, when it comes to problem solving, many of us fall into the rut of believing: Willpower. I need willpower. I’ve got to try harder.

A Hilarious Example. (To me.)

The Psychology Today website has published an article online. Calling it, “How to Boost Your Willpower.

Oh, sure. Let us bow down and venerate the alleged benefits of willpower. (Supposedly.)

My question: Why bother? Specifically, why waste your time boosting willpower? Shoving it. Growing it. Grooming it like a dog who belongs on a throne?

Here’s why. Echoing the roar in Collective Consciousness… According to Psychology Today, willpower and self-control are essential for a happy and successful life.

Look, I could go through that article with you, paragraph by paragraph. Refuting all the way.

Really, though, belief in the magical importance of willpower is a matter of opinion. In the rest of this article, I’m going to give you mine.

An opinion informed by facilitating thousands of RES Energy HEALING sessions. (Including of all the specialties described in the tabbed crimson box at that link just supplied. Each of which can, IMHO, solve problems better than straining to develop more willpower.)

What Results from Pushing Ourselves to Try Harder?

We succeed beyond our wildest dreams.

Only I don’t mean gaining the sought-for results. Usually that doesn’t happen. Oops, sheer force of will might be more suited to boxing than to personal growth.

So forget about the desired results. Instead, what does “Using my willpower” always accomplish? Long-term, making ourselves feel terrible!  Maybe beyond our wildest dreams. 😉

And more specifically, using free will to push ourselves can result in feeling:

  • Discouraged
  • Or guilty
  • Even weak

Often, we might think. “Willpower works so well for everybody else” (supposedly). Why not me?”

Ha, that’s an illusion, folks!

Beating Yourself up to Improve Yourself?

What a cruel “solution”! Especially since trying to bludgeon yourself with sheer force of will? That simply doesn’t work well for most people.

Instead, what have I found, helping clients? Shoulding yourself — yeah, let’s call “should-ing” a verb — shoulding yourself mainly succeeds at this: Energetically, it puts Psychic Coercion into your aura.

And what’s Psychic Coercion? It’s a form of EnerJunk, or STUFF, in auras.

Like all kinds of STUFF, Psychic Coercion causes problems. Basically, it saps self-confidence.

Yum? Hardly!

Ironically, gunking up your aura is the main consequence of using willpower.

Go back and you’ll see it in Examples #1, #2, and #3 at the top of this post: Ways of thinking that result in Psychic Coercion. This, in turn, makes a person less likely to exercise or stop yelling or make beautiful music with a guitar.

What can work better than shoulding yourself?

You Might Prefer to Talk to Yourself Like This

When you aim to do something, avoid telling yourself I should. I must. I’ve got to.

Instead, say things like: I plan to. I’d like to. I aim to.

Back in the day, my mother used to say: Never force a machine. Figure out how to make it work. Or else leave it alone.

Just don’t push. Otherwise, you’ll break it.

Couldn’t the same apply to that ultra-sensitive machine, your inner self?

Besides, Do You Know this Dirty Little Secret about Willpower?

Trying to force ourselves can become a vicious cycle. Controlling ourselves isn’t natural. So the harder we force, the worse that cycle of unnatural effort becomes. Like:

  1. I’ve got to control my temper. Never yell. Never yell. Don’t let myself yell.
  2. Then finding myself in the midst of a screaming rant. Oops! (Yet somehow yelling like this feels so goooooood.)
  3. I just blew it. So bad! Now I must really work at it. NEVER yell. NEVER yell.

Look, I’ve helped RES clients break that kind of cycle. If you have been fighting yourself in this manner, please: Don’t just try harder. Get a professional on board to help, a professional you  trust. Whether it’s your minister, you psychotherapist, your life coach, or an RES expert. 

But How Does Willpower Differ from Other Kinds of Learning?

Manners, for instance. Growing up, you were taught manners, right? Did it feel natural to learn how to use knives, forks, spoons, chopsticks, whatever?

Oh, that scary silverware education, when I was a girl! Night after night, I’d flunk. Parents would scold. then I’d cry.

Learning how to use a fork was my first BIG PROBLEM in life. Would I ever learn to use those implements properly?

Yes. Ultimately that education was successful, I’m glad to report.

But, let’s be clear. Learning skills is utterly different from forcing oneself.

Could it be that you don’t yet make this vital distinction?

Then think about it now. Learning something new is altogether different from struggling to control yourself. 

  • Fitting a square peg into a square hole? That’s a skill.
  • Struggling to cram a square peg into a round hole? That’s more like willpower. Pushing. Trying to control.

Once you get this difference, you can give yourself an important permission: Stop trying to use control as a way to solve problems.

Instead of Willpower

See if you can solve the problem in another way. Could you change your approach? Or your expectations?

Or, maybe, like me with the silverware, you have something to learn.

But what if you run out of alternatives?

Again, that’s a good reason to book an RES session. Or seek whichever kind of professional help you trust the most.

  • Emphatically, don’t seek advice from a friend. Unless you’re asking for a different perspective on how to solve a problem. Meaning, a problem in objective reality.
  • Struggling within yourself? Subjective reality is subtler. Making up ways to change yourself energetically or subconsciously? Those improvs can produce consequences that you don’t anticipate.
  • Another warning: Please don’t use meditation to solve your human problems. Meditation doesn’t work well any more, not for those of us living in the Age of Awakening.

Please don’t use willpower. Or ask your friend to play therapist? Or, even worse, to become your own therapist. (Click on that last link and behold! 127 million hits. Talk about popular themes in Collective Consciousness!)

My Client Joe Inspired this Post

You see, we had an RES session that moved out STUFF. Freeing Joe up from his usual solution to a long-term problem.

Giving Joe an alternative to using his willpower.

At the end of the session, he said this. (And gave me permission to quote it here.)

The more STUFF moves out, the more access we have to free will.

So true. And let’s note. Free will is the opposite of controlling your will, a.k.a. willpower.

In Conclusion

Well, what conclusions do you draw, Blog-Buddies?

What have you learned through experience about the consequences of bludgeoning yourself, willpower-wise?

Has it ever worked for you? And what has worked? Stories, please.

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Join the Discussion

  1. 1
    Nancy says:

    What about sugar in this new age of awakening?

  2. 2

    Good question, NANCY. When it comes to particular foods (like sugar), or types of diet, I’ve been doing research like this for years. Helping individual clients.

    Never generalizing about what is supposed to be good or bad for “everyone.” Of course, Rosetree Energy Spirituality is not about helping people physically. It’s not energy medicine. Energy Spirituality helps people grow emotionally and gain spiritual awakening by using skills that work now, in the Age of Awakening.

  3. 3

    So how do I help individual clients in sessions? You see, one of the specialties of RES is called “Soul Thrill Aura Research®.”

    To get an idea of how it works, this link I just supplied can get you started. And here’s a YouTube video with a demonstration. The client comes up with choices of research items. There can be a huge variety of them, including “Eat sugar.”

  4. 4
    Steve says:

    Thanks for this article, Rose. I appreciate the many tips here.

    But you haven’t explained how to get the Psychic Coercion out of your aura from all the times in the past you have shoulded yourself. Any tips on that?

  5. 5

    STEVE, you’re welcome. Also, you’re quite right. Psychic Coercion doesn’t have to stay in your aura. Preventing and removing it, though are skills about energy healing. Not something for quick little tips.

    I can facilitate removing it from your aura, during a session. if I deem it to be the priority for your Healing Centerpiece at the time of the session.

  6. 6

    For another option: you could learn skills for prevention and self-healing.

    I especially recommend the new Spiritually Sparkling Collection of Workshops. Although you could also learn excellent skills from this practical how-to book for RES-style self-healing. Thanks for asking.

  7. 7
    Kylie says:

    I benefited very much from an RES healing session with this centerpiece, moving out psychic coercion.

    And I learned some very helpful skills for how to prevent getting this kind of enerjunk again. And I followed it up with an SEAH session on the same topic, moving out frozen blocks related to pushing myself.

  8. 8
    Kylie says:

    I am someone who in the past has chronically pushed myself. Dealing with frustrations in life by pushing myself harder.

    In the future, I am not going to load my schedule up as much as I have been doing in the past few months. It really is counterproductive, besides being just plain mean to myself.

  9. 9

    Wow, KYLIE, hear hear!

  10. 10
    An Avid Reader says:

    Thank you, Rose, for this awesome post!

  11. 11

    AVID READER, you’re welcome. Here’s a question to you, and also to other Blog-Buddies.

    You have a hotshot job. You work in an environment that could be called “The TYPE A Organization.” What have you noticed about others using willpower and other forms of pushiness? Does it seem to be helping them?

  12. 12
    Evgenia says:

    I was never a big fan of pushing myself or others.

    When I tried, it never worked for me no matter how much effort I used. No results whatsoever.

  13. 13
    Evgenia says:

    Great article! Thank you Rose!

  14. 14
    Steve says:

    Got it. Thanks, Rose.

    It makes sense that when people offer tips, they’re not giving techniques or skills. I get that difference.

  15. 15
    Evgenia says:

    I notice that doing things in my natural flow is much more productive even if only do 20% of what other people do.

    This works really well for me at work.

  16. 16
    Evgenia says:

    I notice that when people push themselves they become nervous and then disorganized and then less productive.

  17. 17

    EVGENIA, when I read wisdom like your latest comments, I feel so honored to host this blog.

    You’re such a keen observer of what really works, in contrast to common illusions. Thanks for what you’ve written today. (And also thanks to you, STEVE.)

  18. 18
    Ethan says:

    Hi Rose, about Type A work environments/behaviour-since doing RES sessions and having less “stuff” work has gotten better for me.

    I rarely do overtime and I get a lot done in small chunks.

  19. 19
    Ethan says:

    I find that some of my co-workers do overtime, skip breaks and work through lunch-they seem a bit frazzled.

  20. 20
    An Avid Reader says:

    Hi Rose, most people do not seem to be pushing. People do consume a lot of coffee.

    I am guessing might be related to wanting to augment willpower? Just a guess!

  21. 21

    ETHAN, that work-work-work lifestyle can definitely be counterproductive. Of course, each person’s motivation could be different every time.

    But I do wonder if sometimes those super-human efforts come from stoking WILLPOWER.

  22. 22

    AVID READER, so your particular hotshot workplace uses coffee rather than obvious pushing.

    Some of you Blog-Buddies work in really fancy places. In that way, among others, you’all teach me a lot.

  23. 23
    Existential Pianist says:

    Thank you so much for this amazing post, Rose!

    I also enjoyed reading all the comments left by everyone! I particularly loved this from the post: Free will is the opposite of controlling your will. Wow! What a fantastic, thought-provoking, inspiring line.

  24. 24
    Existential Pianist says:

    I also loved what you said about doing things in your natural flow, Evgenia!

    That’s a great way to describe it.

  25. 25
    Existential Pianist says:

    I feel that these are lessons that have taken me a long time to learn- and I’m still learning.

  26. 26
    Existential Pianist says:

    I grew up in a family that really emphasized hard work as virtue.

    As a kid, I would use my willpower to push myself very hard- even taking pride in that. However, and you can see where this is heading, I ended up becoming extremely burned out.

  27. 27
    Existential Pianist says:

    There was a moment in my early twenties, when I was giving a concert. And, while on stage, I had a sort of existential crisis.

    The concert was for my master’s degree, but everything suddenly seemed absurd. The whole idea of “a concert” lost all meaning for me in that moment.

  28. 28
    Existential Pianist says:

    In fact, I almost couldn’t continue playing.

    For so long, I had used my willpower to push myself, to work very hard, that I had inadvertently “erased” myself. (Don’t worry, I finished the concert and graduated.)

  29. 29
    Existential Pianist says:

    In short, nowadays I’ve learned to listen.

    I listen to my body when it needs to sleep. I listen to my brain when it needs a rest. I can concentrate better, be more productive, and creative while I’m at it.

  30. 30

    Thank you for every word, EXISTENTIAL PIANIST.

    Bravo! Bravo!

  31. 31
    An Avid Reader says:

    Hi Rose, I think you could teach anyone anywhere a lot rather than the other way around. Your level of productivity is rather astonishing!

  32. 32
    Existential Pianist says:

    Of course, one of the primary resources that helped me recover from burnout and taught me how to “listen” to myself (instead of squashing myself with willpower) was Rose’s “Become the Most Important Person in the Room” Empath Empowerment book. (I got the book in 2009!)

    And then, later of course, Rose’s newest Empowered Empath books. 🙂

  33. 33

    EXISTENTIAL PIANIST, thank you for giving a shout-out to Empath Empowerment.

    When I see what’s popular now on Google, aiming to help empaths… Well, it reminds me to do a few articles for empaths. But I think that will have to wait until I’ve done more meditation articles. One head at a time. One day at a time. You know how it is!

  34. 34
    Avid Reader says:

    Thank you, Existential Pianist, for pointing out what helped you with burnout!

  35. 35
    Edward Grant says:

    Recently, I have leant I am someone that does not give up easily, I used to think “oh, this is because I have a lot of willpower”.

    However, I now know this is not true.

  36. 36
    Edward Grant says:

    For instance, during the first month of studying a mathematics course, I was struggling with learning the material. I was felling overwhelmed, and I was unproductive.

  37. 37
    Edward Grant says:

    I couldn’t stomach using willpower to get me through (I have been down that road many times before).

    I just wanted to quit.

  38. 38
    Edward Grant says:

    I booked an RES session and discovered my lecturer was going through the motions and was doing a poor job of teaching the material.

  39. 39
    Edward Grant says:

    Soon after I booked another RES session, this time for Soul Thrill Aura Research.

    I researched different tutors that could teach me the material I wanted to learn.

  40. 40
    Edward Grant says:

    I was successful in finding an amazing tutor and this helped so much in completing my mathematics course. My confidence increased s much too.

  41. 41
    Edward Grant says:

    What I am trying to say is, although I do not give up easily, I found a different solution to achieve my goal without using willpower.

  42. 42

    Edward, thank you so much for sharing your experience here. I do think of RES skills as resources for solving problems, an alternative to old-fashioned forcing. Also more up to date than doing the equivalent of riding in an ox cart.

    And I fondly remember that research we did of possible tutors. In different ways, so many of them were dreadful (as evidenced by their auras). You found a good one and then followed through. Hooray!

  43. 43
    Kylie Sparks says:

    What an excellent example, Edward. Recently I had two tutor sessions with different tutors to learn French.

    During my session with the first tutor, she was all about grammar, didn’t seem that interested in me as a person, and didn’t have much humor. After the session I felt badly about my level of French.

  44. 44
    Kylie Sparks says:

    In the past I might have assumed, well that wasn’t really fun but I just need to use willpower and buckle down and learn the grammar.

  45. 45
    Kylie Sparks says:

    But I know enough about soul thrill to know it doesn’t work that way.

    I had a session with a different tutor who has a completely different method. He just had a conversation with me, going into points of grammar when they came up, a much more flexible and interesting approach for me.

  46. 46
    Kylie Sparks says:

    After that session I felt really good about myself and my level of French.

  47. 47
    Kylie Sparks says:

    For me, learning happens fast when there is soul thrill.

    When I am learning something I want to learn with someone for whom teaching is fun. Will power has no place in language learning.

  48. 48
    Kylie Sparks says:

    Dedicating time, yes. Having goals, yes. Investing money as appropriate. Having regular times to study and practice, yes.

    But forcing is counterproductive.

  49. 49
    Kylie Sparks says:

    If I’m too tired, I get very little out of a lesson.

    It’s much more productive to change gears, rest and recharge doing something else, and come back to the learning fresh.

  50. 50
    Holly says:

    Years ago, before the Shift, I read an article about willpower.

    It was about a psychological study on saying no to cookies. The article said willpower is limited; once we use it up, we have to wait until it is replenished through rest before we can use it again. I decided willpower was unreliable.

  51. 51
    Holly says:

    Instead of willpower, I used fun and convenience to exercise.

    My ex told me I could easily increase the amount of exercise in my life if I found something I really enjoyed. So I started dance classes. To make it even easier, the studio is a five-minute walk from my apartment.

  52. 52
    Holly says:

    I started dance classes before I met Rose. I got really lucky that my dance teachers really thrill my soul. Like Edward and Kylie mentioned, the teacher makes a huge difference.

    Instead of using willpower, STAR could really help increase the amount of time exercising. After STAR, I wouldn’t call it exercise anymore. I would call it moving my body or improving my dance skills or just having fun.

  53. 53
    Holly says:

    Since I like going to dance class, no willpower is required if I’m a little tired. There have been a few times when I was very tired. I went back and forth about not going to class the first time.

    Recently, I realized just because I didn’t go to class when I was very tired, that doesn’t mean I don’t like to dance anymore.

  54. 54
    Holly says:

    Pat Hayward, the Vedic astrologer, also told me there are two types of fatigue: emotional and physical.

    Exercise solves emotional fatigue. Sleep solves physical fatigue. The way to know which one is to see if you feel better or worse after exercise.

  55. 55
    Holly says:

    When it comes to being productive at work, or life in general, I don’t push myself a lot. I just feel guilty about not being productive. This was the topic of my latest session with Rose.

    An energetic hologram showed that my soul thrill was huge from putting off a chore. Not only that, God was proud of me for using my power to choose what was important to me.

  56. 56
    Holly says:

    From a more practical perspective, Rose also taught me about being realistic. First, I recognize what is realistic. Then, I create a plan that is realistic. Last, I follow through and observe that no one is mad at me.

    Evgenia’s 20% really helps with the first point. After talking to Rose, I wasn’t expecting 100% anymore. But I also haven’t made my way down to 20%, yet.

  57. 57
    Holly says:

    I benefited from Psychic Coercion Removal pretty early on in my sessions with Rose. I had my recording for maintenance healing. I didn’t use it every two months, but I did use it.

    About a year and a half later, that was the healing centerpiece again. I was surprised. Rose upgraded the healing and added a new Psychic Coercion Equation.

  58. 58
    Holly says:

    The new equation is related to work. In that year and a half, I took in enough Psychic Coercion to lock up 10-15% of my brain power. I broke the record for the number of yellow school bus loads at that time.

    Now, when my boss is piling it on, in a team meeting or a private meeting, I find it hilarious that the more she piles it on, the less likely we will produce results. I do my best to wipe that amused look off my face and prevent my eyes from rolling out of my head.

  59. 59
    Holly says:

    Like Edward, I don’t like to give up. I am stubborn. If I can’t get it one way, I’ll try to get it another way. Instead of using willpower, obstacles present a great opportunity to use creativity skills.

    After all, Einstein did say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. My childhood art teacher also said that after we look away from a painting we are working on, we can come back with a whole new perspective.

  60. 60
    Holly says:

    I noticed something similar to what Existential Pianist noticed about erasure. My ex told me I berated him too much. So I tried hard to not get mad.

    What ended up happening was that I stopped caring. I was afraid that if I let out a trickle of anger, the floodgates would open, and I would turn into a monster. Towards the end, I did allow myself to get mad like a normal person one time. He thought I blew up at him, even though I wasn’t throwing objects or even using profanity. But relative to the way I normally went along with everything, it was like I blew up.

  61. 61
    Holly says:

    Kylie, I just added the SEAH session goal you mentioned to my SEAH wish list. 😀

  62. 62

    HOLLY, thank you for this series of comments. I laughed out loud at your Comment #58.

    Also, your ideas from PAT HAYWARD in Comment #54 were new to me (and fascinating). So if you feel worse after exercising, the idea is that you had physical fatigue. While if you feel better, that’s because the exercise helped to reduce emotional fatigue. Did I get that right?

  63. 63
    Holly says:

    Hi Rose, yes, that’s also how I understand what Pat said.

  64. 64

    Thanks, HOLLY.

    I’m such a big fan of astrology sessions with PAT HAYWARD. And also a big fan of YOU.

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