Blog

Deeper Perception Made Practical

Becoming Sensitive. Can You Turn Yourself into an HSP?

Becoming Sensitive. By the time you were a baby, it was too late to change your degree of physiological sensitivity. But what CAN you change?

Becoming Sensitive?

Maybe you’ve been wondering, “Can I learn how to become a Highly Sensitive Person?” (For short, an HSP.)

Realistically, honestly, what can you do? If you yearn to develop more sensitivity, are you doomed to disappointment?

HSPs are on my mind more than usual these days. Because I’m preparing for a new, in-person workshop: Socially Savvy HSPs and Empaths, August 10-11, 2019.

And what’s the most poignant kind of question folks ask me as an Empath Coach?

  • How can I become an HSP?
  • OR How can I become an empath?

Today let’s find some answers. (And some reassurance.)

First of All, a Really Important Distinction

HSPs are born, not made. Period. Elaine Aron, Ph.D. pointed this out in her book, “The Highly Sensitive Person.” According to her research, just 1 in 5 people is an HSP. And according to my research, 1 in 4 HSPs is an empath. That’s 1 in 20 people.

In my view, there are pro’s and con’s concerning every degree of innate sensitivity. (If you like, ask me about that by using the COMMENT boxes below.)

For instance, both pro’s and con’s for being an HSP… And also for not being an HSP.

However you’re wired sensitivity-wise, that’s non-negotiable. Yet plenty else is, as you’ll read in this article.

Note: We’re Having an Honest Conversation Here. Not some Feel-Good Fantasy

Sadly, I do think that’s worth noting.

  • Have you encountered “experts” who promise to make you an HSP? (Or an empath, for that matter!!!) Sadly, yes. But what they offer won’t work.
  • Isn’t making that kind of empty promise an example of Personal Growth Pandering? I sure think so.
  • If you wish, COMMENT below with an approach that seems credible to you. Provide the name of the “expert” and a link to what’s proposed to turn people into HSPs or empaths. Maybe also a summary of the approach. I’d be glad to add some discernment.

If it’s Any Consolation

Did you know? Before birth… Like other human beings… You made a Life Contract. What was included in that contract, outlining the spiritual purpose of your life?

  • You chose your parents. Purposely! Really! Euwwww? Still, really!
  • You chose all the main events in your life before age 21. (Or for some highly ambitions persons, age 28.)
  • Included was your choice about whether you’d be an HSP. Or a Highly-Highly Sensitive Person — an empath. Or neither an HSP nor an empath.

Please give yourself credit for having made the right choice. When it comes to the lifetime that you co-created with Divine help, nothing was stupid. Nothing was “loser.” Spiritually and emotionally, you came to Earth School to learn certain things. For that purpose, you designed a nervous system with exactly the right degree of inner sensitivity.

Wouldn’t it be wise to accept what you chose? Embrace the life that is possible for you. Regardless of your degree of built-in sensitivity… So many great and glorious kinds of learning are possible for you! Loads of personal growth. And spiritual awakening, as well.

Although You Can’t BECOME More Sensitive, Guess What?

You can learn RES-style SOCIAL Sensitivity Skills. Depending upon your degree of innate sensitivity, I can help you to live better. Live better as who you are, the way you’re wired for being sensitive. Becoming a sweeter person, kinder; effective and powerful but also kind.

What’s the secret? Gaining a range of SOCIAL Sensitivity Skills.

“SOCIAL Sensitivity Skills”? Meaning What?

Re-establishing your human connection with others.

Learning how to act like a caring person. (Rather than a self-absorbed person.)

And, pretty much, gaining every single thing that you now imagine… would be yours…. if only you were born as an HSP.

Really! Feel free to COMMENT below and share.

Would you treat people differently if you were both sensitive and inwardly strong?

Next up, I’ve got some tips for helping you to gain these social skills. In Part One of this Three-Part article, I’ll summarize the first three. Hmm, will you be able to guess what the other seven will be?

Consider this set of 10 tips your INTRODUCTION to RES SOCIAL Sensitivity Skills.

Becoming SOCIALLY Sensitive Tip #1. Change What You Can.

Remember the Serenity Prayer? The gist is: Change what you can. Stop trying to change what you can’t.

Powerful wisdom! And not only for recovering alcoholics and other 12-steppers. That Serenity Prayer helps people who haven’t yet accepted the degree of innate sensitivity that God gave them. (For instance, gave them via that aforementioned Life Contract.)

Using free will, you can change lots of things. But not:

  • Whether you’re not especially sensitive
  • OR you’re an HSP
  • OR you’re an empath.
  • All this is non-negotiable.

By contrast, you may have quite a bit of growth potential regarding everyday social skills. For instance, do you listen to people — real people, not just celebrities — every day?

Do you listen sympathetically, giving that person the benefit of your full attention?

Alternatively, you might listen with attitude: Hidden — or not so hidden — snark.

Or else you might be in the habit of multi-tasking while you listen. Either physically checking your texts. Or else writing your next one in your head.

SOCIAL Sensitivity Skills include giving your friends the benefit of everyday human listening. Paying full attention — one of the sweetest gifts you can give to any person, ever.

What Makes this Tip a Skill? And Vital for SOCIAL Sensitivity!

Listening better isn’t just about your personal growth. Or your spiritual awakening.

Ever notice? Your society has a kind of Collective Attention Deficit Disorder. Mother’s taking care of their babies while chatting on their phones. Rather than paying attention to that amazing baby!

Shallow listening has become the norm. Watch people on subways or in malls, or on city streets. Even people who are nominally “together” often do a kind of parallel play. Ignoring the humans. Paying more attention to their electronic toys.

Please, set a change in motion. Follow through with this tip and you just might set in motion a change to Collective Consciousness.

Becoming SOCIALLY Sensitive Tip #2. Become More Self-Actualized 

Personal growth doesn’t just happen, does it? Yet so many people act as though they don’t need to do a thing more. Because they’ve done — or are doing — one “perfect” thing. Such as what?

  • Believing that they’re saved forever by Jesus Christ. Like it’s a done deal, and all that matters.
  • Meditating.
  • Dressing cute.
  • Developing an awesome six-pack.

Improving your SOCIAL Sensitivity Skills, what’s irrelevant? Your social status, and the groups you belong to. Like if you are:

  1. Saved. (As in Born Again.)
  2. A meditator.
  3. Always dressed so cute.
  4. Jacked up.
  5. An HSP or empath.
  6. Rich and “superior.”
  7. Poor, struggling, and “more honest” than the snooty rich people.

Rather, your SOCIAL sensitivity skills are about what you do.

What

Makes this Tip a Skill? And Vital for SOCIAL Sensitivity!

Aren’t you fed up with society’s increasing tribalism?

Innocently, in small ways, human ways — talk to people. Talk to them as people.

Maybe you’ve heard the great Methodist quote, from John Wesley:

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.

What’s our version for SOCIAL Sensitivity Skills?

Live humanly. Live among other people as humanly as you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.

Becoming SOCIALLY Sensitive Tip #3. Thoughtfully Read Good Advice Columns

Probably your favorite newspaper has several. I’d recommend these, for instance:

  1. Michelle Singletary, in the Washington Post. The Color of Money. Advice for living within your means.
  2. Karla L. Miller, in the Washington Post. Work advice.
  3. Carolyn Hax, syndicated columnist. Solving relationship problems.
  4. Philip Galanes, in the New York Times. Social Q’s. Lighthearted advice about awkward social situations.
  5. Kwame Anthony Appiah, in the New York Times. He’s The Ethicist.

Read thoughtfully and you might learn something:

  • Discovering yet again how other people are very different from yourself.
  • Gaining humility about the complexities of the human condition.
  • Considering whether or not you agree with the columnist’s advice.

For increasing your SOCIAL Sensitivity Skills, check any attitude of superiority at the door.  Then enter into the wild variety of problems that good people can face. Because everybody is not just like you (only with a different hairstyle).

What Makes this Tip a Skill? And Vital for SOCIAL Sensitivity!

Whatever your degree of innate sensitivity, you suffer sometimes. Well, other people suffer as well.

Of course I don’t recommend that you immerse yourself in all the human suffering. But advice columns offer you a means of learning in some detail. Learning about one person’s suffering. And offering approaches to learn about human problem solving.

Living now, in the Age of Awakening, it’s all too easy to recoil from human suffering. To take the spiritual bypass. To move into spiritual addiction or spiritual shutdown. And to use whatever you believe in most strongly, as a way to ignore human struggles.

If you read one advice column each day, you’ll upgrade your SOCIAL Sensitivity.

No Conclusion Yet. But a Pause

Blog-Buddies, do you have any reactions to share? Other advice columnists to recommend? I’m listening!

Share this

Join the Discussion

  1. 1

    Request to you Blog-Buddies who are HSPs or empaths. Please share:

    What do some non-HSPs do to you that is really annoying?

  2. 2
    Kylie says:

    Wonderful blog post, Rose.

    I especially like “Please give yourself credit for having made the right choice. When it comes to the lifetime that you co-created with Divine help, nothing was stupid. Nothing was ‘loser.’ Spiritually and emotionally, you came to Earth School to learn certain things. For that purpose, you designed a nervous system with exactly the right degree of sensitivity.”

  3. 3
    Kylie says:

    It is truly amazing how perfect every pre-assigned choice in your life is–from the parents you chose, to the body and physical looks to the country of birth to your degree of sensitivity–for learning what you came to earth to learn.

  4. 4
    Kylie says:

    All of these things can seem like such big mistakes and problems looked at only from the perspective of this life.

    But a marvel of perfection from the perspective of your long journey as a soul.

  5. 5

    KYLIE, your heartfelt comments have the ring of someone who has experienced Soul Energy Awakening Hypnosis®, an experience that can sometimes include moving out Large-Intensity Frozen Blocks; revisiting your Life Review from a previous incarnation; moving out all the remaining frozen blocks from a former earth personality; and even (since the end of 2017) moving out all the previous Causational Frozen Blocks from a previous lifetime.

  6. 6

    Facilitating these sessions is one of my gravest responsibilities — and greatest delights — as the Founder of RES.

    At a different blog, words like yours might have been mere theory. But I know that you’ve written based on your personal experience and deeply spiritual discoveries.

  7. 7

    And it’s such a thrill for me, personally, to find how fast clients like you (who were already growing so fast, and so beautifully into YOUR full potential) can accelerate that growth.

    This latest share has probably inspired me as much as other Blog-Buddies and lurkers here. Big thanks, KYLIE.

  8. 8
    Edward Grant says:

    Interesting articles Rose.

    I am grateful you shared tip #3 and shared a list of recommended advice columns.

  9. 9
    Edward Grant says:

    I have a hunger to learn more about being socially savvy.

    Currently I have some big gaps in my social skills, and in time I would like to fill those gaps.

  10. 10
    Edward Grant says:

    It gave me comfort to know that I am not alone, that most people have gaps in their social skills.

    Through having sessions of RES with the intention of being more socially savvy and learning practical skills in my own time, I am inspired and determined to be highly skilled in this area of life.

  11. 11
    Edward Grant says:

    It would have been amazing to attend your socially savvy workshop in August, my eyes lite up when you announced this workshop in particular; it just wasn’t practical to do so this year.

    I hope who ever attends has fun learning and growing in your socially savvy workshop! I have experienced being a participant at one of your workshops, it was by far one of the most enriching experiences I have had to date.

  12. 12

    EDWARD, thank you for Comment #11. And that Comment #10 struck me as equally important for many of you Blog-Buddies.

    Reading blog posts like this one can help you’all with filling in holes in social skills. So can (reading or re-reading) some of my books, like “The New Strong” and “Magnetize Money with Energetic Literacy.”

  13. 13

    RES does offer a very different approach to therapy, life coaching, pastoral counseling, bowling. (Just kidding about the bowling; really RES is identical.) (Ooh, another joke.)

  14. 14

    If you can take any of my in-person workshops, or any of the online workshops, or manage to find your way to the D.C. area for Soul Energy Awakening Hypnosis (SEAH), that would be wonderful.

  15. 15

    Meanwhile, in addition to the usual RES resources, just do 20 Daily Minutes of Technique Time, Tops. And do your reasonable best to act with honor, making every day count.

    Then you’re evolving really fast — perhaps faster than you realize. With magnificent personal growth and spiritual awakening. In my view, you’re making a big difference in Collective Consciousness, helping to light up this world.

  16. 16
    Edward Grant says:

    It’s a joy to read your comments Kylie!

  17. 17
    Kylie says:

    Thank you Rose and Edward!

    It is definitely doing sessions of SEAH that has informed my perspective. It is really way more effective than bowling for moving you forward in your emotional and spiritual growth!

  18. 18
    Liane says:

    Kylie, I agree with Edward Grant. It’s a joy to read your comments! On this, and many other topics as well.

    I’ve learned so much from Rose and the Blog Buddies…… a group of collective consciousness that is a pleasure to be a part of.

  19. 19

    🙂 to you, LIANE.

  20. 20
    Kylie says:

    Thank you Liane! It is mutual. I love reading comments by both of you and other blog buddies.

    It is such a pleasure and a privilege to be part of this group in collective consciousness.

  21. 21

    KYLIE, I also appreciate that those of us who write or guest post here, or comment here, or lurk here at “Deeper Perception Made Practical” are bringing new understandings into Collective Consciousness.

    Thanks for pointing that out in your Comment #20.

  22. 22

    Blog-Buddies, this morning I’ve been rewriting Parts One and Two of this series. Especially please take a look at the block quote that begins, “Live humanly. Live among other people as humanly as you can.”

    What does that mean to you?

  23. 23

    For starters, I think it means either giving strangers on the street a polite nod or else offering a real smile. Never a fake smile.

    A fake smile — the kind we’re constantly shown on TV, in movies, on Instagram, in ads on our phones. Fake smiles dim the light of our humanity. In case you missed the blog post about this — especially the wonderful comments from Blog-Buddies — check it out here.

Click here to comment ...

Leave Your Comment