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How to Avoid Fake Positivity. Part 4

Avoid Fake Positivity. Even if all you’ve been doing is a smidgen of fakeness, this post can make your life easier.

Avoid Fake Positivity. Here are some how-to ideas that can make a difference.

Maybe help you all the way down to your chakra databanks! (And what’s the practical reason why this could matter a lot? Keep reading.)

First of All, Is it Judgy? Even SAYING There Is Such a Thing as “Fake Positivity”

I don’t think so. Since I happen to believe in discernment.

Even though many people today boast very proudly, “I don’t judge anyone,” guess what? In the same breath, unsaid, they’re telling you:

“I lack standards.” Or maybe even, “I don’t have the guts to take a stand on anything.”

In my view, discernment matters. Honesty matters. Coupled with standards about pursuing positivity.

Sure, the ideal of “I never judge” seems appealing. However, I wonder this:

Exactly how much damage is done on a daily basis to people’s integrity… Damage done to their integrity because they’re trying so hard to BE POSITIVE? Or “never judge.” “Chill” can lead to a lot of ugliness within people’s auras.

Incidentally, here’s our first pause in today’s article for me to say:

Blog-Buddies, I welcome your COMMENTS. About what you’ve read so far… do you agree or disagree?

For a Quick Education in Positivity, Authentic and Fake…

As a matter of fact, certain blog posts can easily bring you up to speed:

  1. Staying Positive. Part 1 of 5
  2. Fake Positivity Shows in Auras. Part 2 of 5
  3. Happy Interlude: Chuck Schumer’s Positivity Chakra Databanks. Part 3 of 5. Notably, this chakra databank reading gives you an example of true positive.
  4. Today, of course, is Part 4 of 5.
  5. And finally, Part of 5 Brings Practical Tips to Help You Be Positive.

All that said, let’s roll up your truth-seeking sleeves. And continue! We’ve got work to do.

For instance, I just googled “Staying Positive” Would you believe? 338,000,000 hits. So many true believers, when this hurts instead of helps.

If You’re Honest, You Can Easily Recognize Fake Positivity

Because you’ll see and hear it in others. Not all other people. But some of them.

For instance, remember the example of Joe’s Fake Positivity in the “Staying Positive” article?

To this day, I remember the unintentional ugliness of Joe at that party, Like, how he was straining with might and main. Straining to always and only say positive things.

Back then, Joe smiled so hard, maybe his teeth hurt. Perhaps, inwardly, Joe felt even more uncomfortable than he looked? If so, he ignored it.

Right Here, Already a Clue for Avoiding Fake Positivity

Beginning now, let this be a concept for you.

  • A something to notice, when you see it.
  • A quality to somebody’s voice, when you hear it.
  • Even a sense within your own gut feelings: “Hey, something about Joe isn’t right.”

Undeniably, you can sniff out fake positivity. All it takes? Simply notice when somebody works hard to be VERY, VERY, TOTALLY, ALWAYS, PERFECTLY POSITIVE. Is it some verbal schtick. Or a smirk? Or some other tell?

Especially don’t blind yourself to this, out of the desire to be “spiritual.” Far as I know, God isn’t a big fan of lying or self-deception.

Moreover the kind of affectation that I’m calling “Fake Positivity”? This doesn’t just happen. It takes work.

Like What Kind of Work?

For example, at that party, Joe was trying visibly hard. Trying to push himself into positivity.

Maybe inwardly, he was using willpower. Or trying extra-hard to be upbeat… whenever he felt bad. Whatever?

Asking why isn’t really your business or mine. Instead, Blog-Buddies, it’s enough to recognize fake positivity.  And count that observation as discernment. (Not being judgmental.)

One reason I’m really looking forward to this new Energy Spirituality workshop in 2020: Awaken Your Photographic Intelligence.

Why? Because, on a regular basis, I’ll point out fake positivity, etc. Right there in the photograph that my client sent me. (Such as, when seeking to have a better relationship with somebody at work.)

It will help you in life, developing discernment about false positivity in others.

Next Step. Noticing If We’re the Ones Trying Too Hard?

Once you’ve notice other people pushing-pushing their perfection… Soon you’ll be able to catch yourself if you start to do it.

I don’t mean something big and grotesque. Nor do I suggest that you constantly monitor your authenticity.

More that you can tell when that kind of strain is happening. Maybe, then, you’ll easily remember this:

What’s the use of faking positivity? It makes people seem phony.

Inevitably, fakeness shows in auric modeling, too. (Basically, at a subconscious level, everyone gets the message. Fake!)

Hey, let’s pause again. Your reaction, please.

Blog-Buddies, to enrich our group experience, please COMMENT. Any strong feelings? How about squirmy-wormy feelings?

Next, Be Prepared to Avoid This Other Kind of Fake Positivity

What kind? Here are some clues?

  • No effort.
  • Zero desire to impress other people.
  • More of a personal bad habit.

Let’s call this “fake positivity not done on purpose.” I ought to know about that kind. Here’s a somewhat embarrassing teaching tale.

Admittedly, It’s an Embarrassing Teaching Tale

But, at least, it’s in the past. Like 20 years back in the past. For a year, I used to do weekly sessions as the client of a fabulous energy healer, “Ms. Gladys.” She helped me so much. Especially helpful was one particular session. Probably I’ll remember it until the day I die.

Here’s what happened. We were having a regular session when, in that caring way she had, Ms. Gladys said this:

May I tell you something that you won’t like? Still, I’d like to tell you, because I think it would be helpful.

Okay. You’re such an idealist, sometimes it’s like you’re wearing rose-colored glasses. As if you want everyone and everything to be pretty-pretty.

Look, I know you’re a sweet person, definitely not meaning anyone harm by doing this. But you shade things toward the positive until it’s kind of like lying to yourself.

Holy Cow!

Ms. Gladys was totally right. I got the truth of her words right away. Particularly since — probably like you Blog-Buddies — hellooooo! I’d vastly prefer learning how to improve…  than to “always be right.”

Much as the truth stung, I started to change. Once Ms. Gladys pointed out this problem, I stopped. Meaning what?

  1. I stopped making excuses for people.
  2. And no more denying what people actually did… While I tried hard to “See the Christ in them.”
  3. Absolutely no more ignoring what people actually said. Due to working overtime to explain away their “interesting” problems.
  4. Paying attention to reality is actually easier.
  5. And far less complicated.

Summing Up, What Helped Me Most to Avoid Fake Positivity?

For me, the trick was to stop forcing my ideals on reality.

Why engage in an inauthentic version of positivity, however pastel-perfect?

And you know what? I couldn’t be an Enlightenment Coach today… Unless Ms. Gladys, or somebody else, had shown me that blind spot.

Finally, yes, I invite you to COMMENT. For instance, do you still carry habits from the New Age Years? (Pre-Age of Awakening.)

Are you still clinging to teachings from the Age of Faith. Positivity teachings that would supposedly make you a “better person”?

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  1. 1
    Simon says:

    ”Moreover the kind of affectation that I’m calling “Fake Positivity”? This doesn’t just happen. It takes work.”

  2. 2
    Simon says:

    That’s really reassuring. There’s plenty of times at work where I’m expected to be positive. And normally I am because it’s warranted.

  3. 3

    SIMON, I’m glad you liked this part of the post. Thanks for kicking off our discussion here.

    In my experience, only the incomparable performer Fred Astaire has been able to make his hard work convincingly appear effortless.

  4. 4
    Simon says:

    Recently not so much but I’m not trying to be fake.

    I’m looking to fulfil my role. I am assuming that doesn’t have the same impact.

  5. 5
    Living on Earth says:

    I know someone in the family circle who is known for “always being very positive and welcoming to everyone”.

    Except, I’d inwardly cringe every time I had to be around that person.

  6. 6
    Living on Earth says:

    She was sweet yes. Saying all the ‘right’ polite things with a ‘seeming enthusiasm’.

    But I could tell something wasn’t right.

  7. 7
    Living on Earth says:

    Talking to her felt like this: “The lights are on, but there is no one in the house.”

    Physically she was in front of me with extreme politeness, but distracted to the point of fidgeting and constantly looking around.

  8. 8
    Living on Earth says:

    Although back in the day, when I wasn’t familiar with the Energy Spirituality yet, I’d ignore my own observations.

  9. 9
    Living on Earth says:

    After all everybody else around me seemed to adore and praise her (to me) absolutely unnecessarily over the top positivity and hospitality.

    So what was ‘wrong with me’ to feel this way when I was around her.

  10. 10
    Living on Earth says:

    So I denied my own discernment out of guilt at the time.

  11. 11
    Living on Earth says:

    That’s why I really like the last 5 points Rose!!

    No more making excuses for anyone. Or denying my own discernment screaming for my attention to the reality in front of me.

  12. 12

    SIMON, thank you for clarifying Comment #1 with your Comment #3. Since you’re helping all of us Blog-Buddies to make an important distinction.

    When you write about fulfilling your “role,” you mean what you’re called upon to do at work, right? Professionalism is sometimes required. Doing one’s job isn’t fake.

  13. 13

    And more people than we might think find it really difficult to comport themselves at work with appropriate decorum.

    But that’s not effort expended on anything fake. Merely doing one’s reasonable best while on the job.

  14. 14

    Witness, SIMON, an excerpt from a recent article in the Washington Post:

    Physicians dread encounters with about 15 percent of their patients. In 1978, the New England Journal of Medicine published what has become a classic on the subject: ‘Taking Care of the Hateful Patient.’”

  15. 15

    And here’s another thought-provoking opinion piece about professional manners, courtesy of the Washington Post:

    Racist patients often leave doctors at a loss.”

  16. 16

    SIMON and other Blog-Buddies, in situations like these one might simply whine inwardly, “It’s not fair.”

    However, I’d recommend this instead: Doing one’s reasonable best. Learning from everyday life. And maybe, even, feeling grateful that you live at the Learning Planet (aka Earth School).

  17. 17

    Another way to phrase this? Without friction, sex isn’t much fun.

    Likewise, without conflicts to handle and problems to solve, we won’t learn much here at Earth School.

  18. 18

    LIVING ON EARTH, you’ve shared such a vivid and relatable story. Exactly what I’m hoping for at this thread.

    Illusions galore in this story, between that relative’s reputation in your family versus reality. And between “guilt” versus discernment. Just the kind that I’m aiming to enliven for us all, courtesy of this article.

  19. 19

    Who else has got a story?

    Even if it seems pretty similar to you, I’ll bet that once you go into details… many interesting differences will emerge. So just comment freely, no worries!

  20. 20
    Christine says:

    This isn’t exactly a story. I only want to applaud the idea from Living on Earth about “extreme politeness.”

  21. 21
    Christine says:

    In my experience, just about everybody who has done something creepy to me (all the way from unfairness to viciousness to outright betrayal), right from the start the person uses language that is overly polite.

  22. 22
    Christine says:

    Am I the only one this kind of thing has happened to?

  23. 23
    Diana says:

    Responding to Comment #22 I can say I had a situation when I was getting to know a man while dating and he tended to always say “You are so right” with a big fake smile instead of having a real conversation with me, also he would say something like “You are so special to think that way.”

    Anyway…that relationship didn’t last.

  24. 24

    CHRISTINE, thanks for this useful observation.

    And in response to your question in Comment #22, clearly you are not. Given DIANA’S comment right after your own.

  25. 25

    DIANA, such telltale signs of fake interest and positivity:
    1. Exaggerating. (“Soooooooo.”)
    2. Generalizing about what you said. (And probably never hearing it in the first place.)
    3. Laying on the comments nice and thick, as with a trowel.

  26. 26

    By now, maybe you’ve got immunity.

    Maybe you’ve even helped some of us to gain a similar immunity to flattery and fake positivity. Thank you.

  27. 27
    Diana says:

    I’ll admit Rose that you have helped me through personal sessions of Energy Spirituality to learn so much about when interest from another person is fake, and when it is authentic.

    It was a long term blind spot and yes i’m more immune:). I’m still learning basic social skills around this and I’m not a young woman lol-frustrating and humbling all at once.

  28. 28

    Frustrating and humbling and an AMAZING opportunity to evolve — that’s life for all of us here at Earth School, DIANA — if we’re doing human life well.

  29. 29
    Julie says:

    I love comment 28.

    For all that there are opportunities to learn, to serve, and to help.

    To mentor others (at my job) and be useful…

  30. 30
    Julie says:

    There are just as many to notice mistakes I have made and not do them again. To learn and improve.

    To be worthy of people’s respect.

  31. 31

    JULIE, you write the shiniest comments. Thank you!

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